30 jokes to get you smiling for New Year 2021.

Hey readers,

It is a bit depressing at the moment with the whole of 75% of the UK in Tier 4 (including me boo!). SO let's take moment to smile and have a laugh with 30 of these New Year jokes, enjoy!

1. Where can you go to practice maths at new year's eve? Times square.

2. What is a New Year's resolution?  Something that goes in one year and out the other.

3. What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve? Chill out.

4. What did the ghost say on January 1st? Happy Boo Year.

5. What’s a digital camera’s New Year’s resolution? 1080p.

6. "I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year." — A dad on New Year's Eve.

7. If 2020 was a person, I'd sue him for pain, suffering and lose of wages.

8. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.

9. Where can you find comedians on New Year's Eve? Waiting for the punchline. 

10. What was 6 afraid of 9 on New Year's Eve? Because 9 ate 7.

11. I love it when they drop the ball in Times Square... It reminds me of what I did all year.

12. My resolutions was to read more so I put the subtitles on the TV.

13. Knock knock? who is there? Abby? Abby who? Abby New Year.

14. My New Year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka or whiskey.

15. Don’t shoplift a calendar or you’ll get twelve months.

16. My resolution was to lose some weight, so I got a divorce and I’m feeling much lighter.

17. Why shouldn’t you start jogging on New Year’s? You’ll spill your beverage

18. What’s a couch potato’s New Year’s resolution? To cancel their gym membership from last year.

19.  What do cats say on January 1st? Happy Mew Year

20.What does the baker do on New Year’s Eve? He gets ready for a toast.

21. Dracula is famous for his “count down.

22. What did the barista say in January? Happy brew year.

23. What did the New Year’s champagne bottle say to its father? “Pop!”

24. What do you say when saying goodbye on New Year’s Eve? See you next year!

25. What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve? Social Security.

26. New Year? I just got used to this last one!

27. Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve. December 31st.

28. My new year's resolution was to finally lose 50 pounds. It's going alright! 3 weeks in and I've only got 55 left to lose.

29.  My internet is slow but hopefully this posts quickly...HAPPY NEW YEAR! Have a great 2021!

30. My new year’s resolution is to procrastinate. But I will wait till tomorrow to start.

Happy New Year lets hope 2021 is a lot better than 2020!

Cheers for reading X

Happy New Year 2021

 

How to celebrate New Year's at home.

Hey readers,

We all know it is Corona time which sadly has affected us all during the festive period.

It is New Year's Eve on Friday and though you can't celebrate it like normal party style or go to the pub. That doesn't mean you need to stop any kind of New Year's celebration. 

This year is all about making the best out of a situation at home so below I have some ideas on how to celebrate the New Year at home.

 

1. Decorations. 

Why not decorate your home with New Year decorations to create a feel-good atmosphere. There is plenty of fun with things like 2021 ballons and banners.  

2. Dress up.

Just because you are at home doesn't mean you can't still make the effort and get dressed up in nice clothing to make you feel better to celebrate the New Year. 

3. Host a virtual party online.

Thank goodness for the internet during corona times. There are so many choices from zoom to google meet up where you can come together with family and friends to celebrate the New Year. You could be even brave and do a quiz :)

4. Games.

Get some games out for some family fun and way to kill some of the time until 12 pm. Monopoly or bingo is a popular choice. 

5. Film.

For a low key feel why not put a film and set the vibe with candles to settle down for a relaxing New Years Eve. 

6. Bubbly.

Get a bottle of bubbly to pop when the clock strikes midnight is a fun way to see the New Year. 

7. Takeaway. 

You can't really go to a restaurant as most people are now in tier three or tier four so why not treat yo self with a takeaway. Plus if you a new member to Deliveroo you can get free delivery. 

8. Sparklers/fireworks.

Why not go out with a bang with a firework display at home. If you're not feeling that confident with fireworks a simpler solution is good old sparklers. It is a nice way to do something different on New Year's Eve at home. 

Are you celebrating New Year's Eve at home and if so how? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

Barbie is a k**b!

Hey readers,

I will be honest with you here I think Barbie is a k**b and she is not a very good role model for youngsters. I have stated my reasons below  

⬇⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇ ⬇

1. She is so vain, all she seems to care about is what she looks like. Given girls, this warped up the sense that to get anywhere in life in order to be popular you have to be pretty.

2. Barbie has unrealistic expectations around body image. She makes out that you can be or do anything you want as long as you are blonde, tall and skinny.  To me, this sends out a negative message and can cause anxiety. Let's not forget the dodgy ratio which us so ridiculous it is laughable.

3. She is so sexualised and it is about looking sexy with the short clothing, heals and tits out, come on let girls be girls, childhood is short-lived so let them just have fun and be innocent.

 4. Barbie does not look her age, she is 57 years old people and in real life properly would have some serious surgery to keep her youthful looks.

5. Her feet are not designed for heels 👠 which is a bit weird anyway. Let's face it flat shoes rule, fuck you beauty standards.

6. Barbie dolls make out they are thick and have little intelligence. Let's look at an example; Mattel brought out a book which features Barbie in it called I Can Be A Computer Engineer. Which portrayed Barbie as lacking the skills to know what the hell is happening and a need to constantly rely on male classmates for help.

7. She thinks she is perfect in everything but this bollocks as we all know that perfection is NEVER going to happen as it does not exist!

8. She is materialistic and all she cares about is buying clothes, cars and having a good time. Shouldn't we be teaching kids deeper stuff instead of money makes the world go round?

9. She has weird body ratios that are mind-boggling. Her neck is super long. Her legs are longer than her arms by 50% compared to normal average women only being 20%.  Her 16-inch waist would leave only room for the liver and a few inches of intestines. You get the idea of just a few examples I provided.

So yeah, Barbie sucks and OK dolls are for imaginary play so, therefore, some leeway. But there is a Barbie programme now sadly which I have sat through. 

All I get from this programme is how pretty I am and look at me. This clearer is being televised for young viewers to watch which as they are clearly venerable at that cage with getting sucked in the message of these stupid ideas. 

It can have psychological effects with anxiety and self-consciousness with who you. So, even though Barbie may come across as an innocent toy be very careful of the subtle messages she sends out.

What do you think about Barbie? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 27/12/2020

How to deal with Twixmas

 Hey readers,

Christmas day is finished and there is that air of waiting for somerthing... the NEW YEAR but them few days after Christmas and before new year are called Twixmas. 

It can be a funny time as you don't really have anything structured during the festive period. It feels like limbo so here are a few things you can do inbetween waiting for the new year to arrive.

1. Have a clear out. 

With having sosme presents now would be a good idea to have a clean out and declutter of unwanted items. 

You can then donate them if they srill have life or if you want to earn a few quid sell them on ebay. 

2. Go for a walk. 

It is hard of things to do during Covid times but you can also rely on an old faithful walk, even if it is to see the lights in your local neibourhood. You are getting out of the home and fresh air is not just good for you physically but mentally as well. 

3. Clean your home.

Now is a  good time to crack on down and clean the home out and give it a fresh feel after all the fedtive fun.

4. Go shopping in the sales.

If your feeling adventerous and got some spare money now would be good time to check out the sales and grab a bargain (if you need it). 

5. Read a book. 

Nothing beats curling up with a book espeically when it is so bleak outside, perfect escapism. 

6. Try out a new recipe.

Got some spare time? why not try out a new recipe that you like.

7. Catch up on some christmas specials. 

There is something for everyone on the telly so why not catch up on any chrsitmas specials that you enjoy, wehich reminds me I need to catch up on Motherland ;)

8. Homework.

If you have chuldren catch up on any homework that needs to be completed. 

With spare time means you can crack on getting any unwatnted homework done at a leaisurely pace without leaving the homework to last minute dot com. 

9. Routine.

As an autisitc perosn I love rountine ans so do a lot of other people. 

It can be helpgul to just simply get up ge dressed and have some order in your life to feel produvtive, it can make you feel less slugglish and more motivsated.

10. Set some goals. 

If your feeling brave and motivbsted why not set some goals that you might want to work towards and achieve. 

Hope this helps and tell me what are you doing during this funny old twixmas time?

 Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

5 things I have learnt about motherhood

Hey readers,

This mother role is hard work, don't get me wrong sometimes it can be fun, lovely, honourable. On the flip side, you can feel anxious, scared or even dread at times.

 

It is so hard to get it right but sometimes just going along and being there in that you learn a lot more then any manual will tell you. Here are some of the things I have learnt going through the journey of motherhood.

1. Sometimes being a mum feels like a constant treadmill that you have to keep running to keep the balance right. It feels constant and repetitive. Sometimes I get this feeling of restlessness that will never end. 

For example the never-ending pile of washing. Just when you think you have completed all the washing within half an hour there is another load appeared.  But you know what it is OK to stop, have a break from it and do something different. Have a day off because you know what you deserve it regardless of what the media say!

2. Sometimes you mess up spectacular and you know what I have learnt that it is OK. Nobody provides that perfect parenting book.  Sometimes you just winging and learning as you go. Knowledge may be powerful but the experience is also up there with understanding in my opinion.

3. You know sometimes your child may act aggressively towards you. At that moment you just want to shout, "WILL YOU JUST STOP". What really they need is your attention and affection even if they are being little shits, sometimes there may be an underlying reason. 

This was one of my biggest challenges as I have Asperger syndrome which makes it really, really difficult to understand body language etc so I really had to work my butt off to understand and put myself in someone elses shoes. 

I don't always get it right because saying and doing ate two different things. But practice and working at it all you can do and remembering that no one is perfect.

4. Learn the art of negotiation and you will find that both child and parent will win. It is tough but gives it time and it gets better and your relationship changes. 

I definitely notice a change between me and my children's relationships. Sometimes it is hard to listen to your child especially if you have a million and one things to do. 

You just instant behaviours sadly we won't always get it. Listening is a valuable skill that will help strengthen your relationship. It does take time however I can verify that it has rewards in the long term. When I take a step back and listen my child is more willing and responsive. 

Over time it gets easier, not always of course because life is not like that. I can confirm though that there are significant changes in a  more harmonious environment. Which makes parenting a hell of a lot easier.

5. One of the major things I have learnt through raising my children is patience and dedication. I sometimes have to hold back/ put on a mask or stay quiet. 

I have found this helps as I can't always deal with immediate emotional responses due to my disability. I need time to digest and reflect before decisions. 

I have learnt to wait before I react as I am better mentally prepared to deal with that situation. Sometimes us parents just need to have five minutes away from the child to cool down the situation. It helps to break down the negativity and coming back to the situation at a later date with fresher eyes to deal with it.

Cheers for reading X

Reasons to love YouTube

Hey readers,

We are now in the internet age and where better place to explore than good old YouTube. 

I love YouTube and it has saved the day from boredom to dealing with the awkward questions my eldest asks me. Not to mention tutorials and reviews on products. 

I would otherwise be clueless and less knowledgeable so let's celebrate all things YouTube!

1. It's free (apart from some of the popular films).

2. It is accessible 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year.

3. The variety of information is amazing. There is so much out there from tutorials to free films. You can even get 30-minute type shows.

4. YouTube is a knowledgeable resource with a wealth of information perfect for the visual learner. Not to forget the stacks of videos on how to use WordPress.  

It has helped me tremendously as a blogger to help me feel more confident in working around the WordPress website. 

Also, you can take your time,  stop and pause. You can even come back and do little bits making it more manageable to fit around you and your needs.

5. Anyone regardless of background or experience cam upload a video and there are little restrictions on what can post (apart from the obvious). Giving people the free rains over the material.

6. It can be unedited and what you see is what you get. I will be honest I love really dodgy amateur videos just for the comedy purposes alone.

7. You can learn about someone's life and get to know the bloggers better on a social level. Because the individual is doing the recording and you get a sense of authenticity.

8. You can create your own playlist.  Remember in the 90s making mixtapes and the effort with stop and starting again with the tape recorder. 

Well, using personalised YouTube playlists is the modern way to tailor your needs. You can also pick the videos without the ads so playing right through without skipping even so often, win!

What are your thoughts on Youtube? Are you a fan? would you love to hear your thoughts in the comments section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

49 things you say as a parent.

Hey readers,

 

Pre-children I made a conscious vow not to say certain catchphrases or be a certain type of mum.

Bur moving forward in time to me being a mummy I can't help but say certain sentences, several times a day.

1. Please be nice to each other.

2. Please be quiet, mummy is trying to talk. 

3. It's not the end of the world.

4. You should be lucky not living in Africa or whatever equally depressing place inspires you to try to make the little sods eat their dinner.

5. If you don't do X then I am going to tell your daddy and you are going to be in serious trouble.

6. Go and play with your toys and give mummy some headspace.

 

7. What was his poo like, soft/wet)firm etc 💩 

8. Put your willy away no one wants to see it.

9. When I was your age I..... 

10. Because I said so, end of!

11. Just you wait and see. 

12. No pudding unless you eat your dinner. 

13. If someone asked you to jump off the cliff would you?

14. I've told you a thousand times.

15. Say pardon, not what!

16. What did your last slave die off?

17. It will all end in tears.

18. You will take someone's eye out with that.

19. I want, never gets. 

20. Don't sit that close to the tv, you will get square eyes. 

21. What part of no do you not understand. 

22. Your hands are not broke. 

23. No one said life was fair. 

24. Naked is not an outfit. 

25. When I was young we never had...

26. Who is the parent you or me?

27. Money doesn't grow on trees.

28. If you don't pick up your toys, I'm going throw them away. 

29. Go and ask your dad (or mum). 

30. I've had it up to here with you. 

31. If you want to act like a child, I will treat you like one. 

32. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. 

33. One day you will thank me.

34. Quiet down, I can't even hear myself think. 

35. Are your legs broken?

36. Let's play the quiet game.

37. I'm not asking, I'm telling.

38. When you have kids, I hope they are just like you.

39. Don't you use that tone with me, mister.

40. Stop crying or ill give you something to cry about. 

41. You better wipe that look of your face. 

42. Youll understand when you are a parent. 

43. I wasn't born yesterday you know. 

44. You kids will be the death of me. 

45. I'll wash out your mouth with soap. 

46. You've brought this on your self.

47. Youll live. 

48. Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall. 

49. I am going to count to three...

Do you recognise any of these phrases that you say now that you are a parent? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 20/12/2020

Reasons why you should love winter

Hey readers,

So it is currently pouring down and the wind is blasting my hair around. It has been like this for several days and it can get more down with all the greyness. 

So, I thought it would be good to write some positive reasons why Winter is actually not that bad and there are some positives to this miserable and grey season.

Let's start off with food - not any old food but comfort food. The yummy stuff full of carbs and gravy to warm up your belly followed by sponge pudding and custard.

A valid reason to stay indoors when it is so cold and wet. You can even be forgiven for wearing your pj's on all day. You can dose about have a duvet day, keep warm and watch as much trash as humanly possible.

If you are feeling cold a perfect way to warm up is to have a hot bath and getting all warm with fleece PJ's.

Blankets and hot bottles rule when it is so cold and all you can hear is the wind whistling and battering the windows.

I will be honest with one of my favourite things to do is to fall asleep with the sound of rain hitting my window. It is so soothing and it makes me feel grateful that I am safe in my warm home.

That being said you can not enjoy a winter walk in woodland and then know that you can come home to get warm again.

Loads of cuddles keeping you nice and warm, safe from any harm and lazying around is the best knowing that you can just relax at home with your loved ones.

Hot chocolate is the desired beverage - perfect to warm your cockles and feel all cosy inside.

What kind of things do you love about Winter?  Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

Classic Christmas Traditions.

Hey readers,

We all have the memories of things we did in our childhood, especially for Christmas that we hold on to and want to share with our children. 

I am going to share some of mine that we do for my children at Christmas.

Let's start with a golden oldie, leaving a plate with a mince pie, carrot and drink on the night of Christmas Eve. Obliviously, we as parents will have to leave some crumbs and icing sugar to let the child know Santa has been. 

In the morning when they see the plate they are beyond happy especially as they link to presents.

Having a select day to decorate the tree in December with the kiddos happens every year. It is a challenge for us parents to not want to kill our children due to the chaos but overall it is jolly good fun. 

That does not stop us, adults, though sneakily later on in the evening go and rearrange the tree.

On Christmas Eve we get into our comfy clean PJs to settle down early evening and watch whatever 'premiere' child-friendly cartoon is on and this year.

Another tradition that we do is write a letter to Santa to let him know that your child has been good and what your child would dearly love this year. This year my eldest basically wanted everything in Smyth's store ;)

Followed by at Christmas we do a reply letter from Santa, AKA mummy to tell my little darling how lovely they have been. 

Let's forget all about the bad times because Christmas is meant to be all lovely and warm. This will be left for Christmas Day.

Every year with my children we make a Christmas decoration (brought from the lovely Poundland) to go on our Christmas tree.

Finally, the last thing I love doing with my children is on Christmas Day after dinner going for a walk, more than likely to the park. There is something lovely about going outdoors when the majority of people are indoors. There is a strange type of eeriness to it.

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 13/12/20

43 christmas puns that are snow good.

 

Hey readers,

What is more fun than pun???? A Christmas pun of course! I have gathered 70 Christmas puns perfect to use on social media or even writing on a Christmas card for someone. 

1. I've got a bad case of resting grinch face.

2. Nobody touch the roast - I'll have the final sleigh. 

3. Line up, kids, cause I'm about to make it rein.

4. With family and friends gathered around, I'm feeling a little extra Santa-mental.

5. I'm a rebel without a Claus.

6. I want to Spruce things up this year, so I bought a bigger tree.

7. All this holiday cheer has me feeling pine.

8. Birch better have my presents.

9. I'm feeling the holiday cheer fir sure.

10. Line up to get your food - you snow the drill.

11.Shake it like a pole-oriod picture. 

12. I’m pine-ing for you. 

13. Sleigh my name, sleigh my name. 

14. All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies… 

15. There’s snow place like home. 

16. The snuggle is real. 

17. Believe in your elf.

18. Up to snow good.

19. The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

21. Yule be sorry.

22. I'm s-mitten.

23. Snow on and snow forth.

24. It's ice to meet you.

25. I have the final sleigh.

26. Have a tree-mendous Christmas.

27. Love at frost sight!

28. Your presents is requested.

29. Believe in your elf.

30. It's lit.

31. How rude-olf you.

32. I'm Claus-trophobic.

33. Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.

34. Rebel without a Claus.

35. Time to spruce things up.

36. I'm feelin' pine.

37. You snow the drill.

38. Let's take an elfie.

39. Say it ain't snow.

40. You're sleigh-in' it.

41. This is snow laughing matter!

42. I'm elf-taught.

43. Have your elf a merry little Christmas.

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 06/12/2020

why being married is good

Hey readers,

Sometimes married life can be mundane especially with kids involved, you can lose sight of the person. So, today I am going to celebrate why being married is good.

I can be myself, warts and all without feeling a numpty because I can be a numpty in my hubby's eyes and still be loved.

You don't have to do all the whole dating thing and put on this pretence idea of someone who you are not.

Provides safety and knowing that I have the support and someone else who helps with the childcare.

I can fart and it is acceptable.

I can be relaxed and have a laff now and again ;)

You have the company together and can watch something you both enjoy.

Having someone to make you tea.

Having someone help when you are too anxious to deal with a situation.

Having a different perspective to yours.

Learning things from them that you would never think of.

Feeling less lonely.

Having the option to say to the children, 'go and ask daddy' when you can't be arsed to answer the 2345 question that day.

Having deep and meaningful conversations.

Experiencing things with that person.

My hubby is someone I can rant, swear and let it all out.

Having a soundboard to listen to my whacky ideas.

Someone I can trust who is reliable.

Having a ying to your yang.

Being allowed to have a cheeky sleep now and again whilst they look after the kids makes a huge difference.

Someone who can help me understand forms and how to fill the fuckers out.

Someone to look after me when I am full of sickness.

Feel like a team that can handle the matter rather then just me tackling it and totally screwing it up.

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 29/11/2020

13 ways to get free stuff on your birthday

Hey readers, 

Birthdays are a wonderful celebrate because you can get loads of free stuff from different companies. 

I have listed 13 places that give you something free simply because it is your birthday. 

1. Greggs. 

You need to sign up to Greggs Rewards via its free app. 

When it is your birthday you will instantly get a voucher for a free treat of your choice such a doughnut or yum yum. 

2. Brewer's Fayre. 

If you are part of the Brewers Fayre Bonus Club you get a free main for your birthday. 

You get a voucher sent to you by email which you can print the voucher off or show the voucher on your phone and redeem at the restaurant. 

3. Krispy Kreme. 

If you have joined Friends of Krispy Kreme Reward Scheme online you will automatically get points to claim a free Krispy Kreme doughnut which can be used on any doughnut in store.  

4. The Body Shop. 

Sign up to The Body Shop Loyalty Scheme called Love Your Body Club and you will instantly get £5.00 on your birthday to use in-store.

5. Pizza Express.

For this birthday reward, you need to set up a free account online. When it is your birthday you can get a free bottle of prosecco worth up to £25.00, as long as you buy two meals. 

If wine is not your thing you can choose beer instead. 

6. Ed's Easy Diner. 

Simply install the Ed's Easy Diner app on your phone, register for the loyalty card and you can get a free milkshake worth £5.00 (I can confirm there thick shakes are to die for!). 

7. Ikea.

If you have signed up to the Ikea Family Card on your birthday they will send out a £5.00 voucher via email and you can claim a free hot drink. 

8. M&S.

M&S have a loyalty scheme called Sparks, which is free to join and on your birthday you get a free £5.00 voucher you can use in M&S stores.

9. Paperchase.

If you love stationery then you need to sign up to Paperchase loyalty scheme called Treat Me, Loyalty Card. 

Being a member of this scheme enables you to receive a £5.00 gift voucher on your birthday. 

The voucher is automatically added on to your card and you have 28 days to use your points instore or online. 

10. Matalan. 

Sign up to Matalan Rewards and get a free biethday voucher sent out to you. 

11. Hobby Craft.

Make sure to sign up to Hobby Craft Club then you will be qualified to have a £5.00 voucher for your birthday via email. 

To redeem your voucher you will need the email and your Hobby Craft member card and present it out the till. 

Most importantly you will need to sign up to receive Hobby Craft emails to receive your birthday voucher.

To sign up to the Hobby Craft you will need to set up an account online. 

You have 14 days of the date of your birthday to redeem your voucher. 

12. Frankie and Benny's. 

Register with Frankie and Benny's rewards to get one free meal around your birthday. 

The voucher will be emailed to you a month before your birthday which you can print or show a member of staff the email with the voucher on. 

13. Table Table.

Join Table Table loyalty card called Tasty Reward Scheme. With being a member of the loyalty scheme entitles you to have a free birthday main meal around the time of your birthday. 

You will receive an email with the voucher which you present to a member of staff at the resturant. 

Cheers for reading X