Thursday, 31 December 2020

30 jokes to get you smiling for New Year 2021.

Hey readers,

It is a bit depressing at the moment with the whole of 75% of the UK in Tier 4 (including me boo!). SO let's take moment to smile and have a laugh with 30 of these New Year jokes, enjoy!

30 jokes to get you smiling for New Year 2021.

1. Where can you go to practice maths at new year's eve? Times square.

2. What is a New Year's resolution?  Something that goes in one year and out the other.


3. What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve? Chill out.


4. What did the ghost say on January 1st? Happy Boo Year.


5. What’s a digital camera’s New Year’s resolution? 1080p.


6. "I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year." — A dad on New Year's Eve.


7. If 2020 was a person, I'd sue him for pain, suffering and lose of wages.


8. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.


9. Where can you find comedians on New Year's Eve? Waiting for the punchline. 


10. What was 6 afraid of 9 on New Year's Eve? Because 9 ate 7.


11. I love it when they drop the ball in Times Square... It reminds me of what I did all year.


12. My resolutions was to read more so I put the subtitles on the TV.


13. Knock knock? who is there? Abby? Abby who? Abby New Year.


14. My New Year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka or whiskey.


15. Don’t shoplift a calendar or you’ll get twelve months.


16. My resolution was to lose some weight, so I got a divorce and I’m feeling much lighter.


17. Why shouldn’t you start jogging on New Year’s? You’ll spill your beverage


18. What’s a couch potato’s New Year’s resolution? To cancel their gym membership from last year.


19.  What do cats say on January 1st? Happy Mew Year


20.What does the baker do on New Year’s Eve? He gets ready for a toast.


21. Dracula is famous for his “count down.


22. What did the barista say in January? Happy brew year.


23. What did the New Year’s champagne bottle say to its father? “Pop!”


24. What do you say when saying goodbye on New Year’s Eve? See you next year!


25. What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve? Social Security.


26. New Year? I just got used to this last one!


27. Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve. December 31st.


28. My new year's resolution was to finally lose 50 pounds. It's going alright! 3 weeks in and I've only got 55 left to lose.


29.  My internet is slow but hopefully this posts quickly...HAPPY NEW YEAR! Have a great 2021!


30. My new year’s resolution is to procrastinate. But I will wait till tomorrow to start.


Happy New Year lets hope 2021 is a lot better than 2020!

Cheers for reading X


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