Friday 26 October 2018


Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

Lovely word of the week

This week has been fun having not the stress of raving our in the morning and relaxing. We went out for the day to Birmingham National sea life centre which the boys loved seeing all the fishes and penguins. Hubby and I were really impressed with how well the day turned out with no meltdowns which are a refreshing change.

We also had picnics and spent time outdoors in parks this week as we could be more flexible with time therefore not having to stress about time and have options to go to different places.

Overall this week has been lovely for my boys and myself as we have all really benefited from some downtime. Although not shew the will be happy next week with being introduced with the getting up early in the morning.

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Tuesday 23 October 2018

What now.

I'm frustrated,
angry l,
and not in control.
the dread keeps me awake.
my eyes pinged,
on edge, I stay,
not knowing
but just waiting.

Friday 19 October 2018

More harm then good.

There are times when I want to walk out the door, run away and vanish.
I don't have the strength and it hurts is not good enough.
I suck at living and sometimes I don't want to be here.
I want to hide away somewhere dark,
 quiet where no one can reach me.
It feels like an ongoing battle which constantly I need to fight.
It tires me out and I feel so alone and feel like I the only one.
This is my reality I have to live day in day out and it is exhausting.
Sometimes, I just want to die because I cause more harm than good.


Hey readers

My word of the week is:

I just had one of them weeks when things have been testing me and make me think what is the whole point of it all really.

I went the other day to a place further afield from where I live so had to get the bus which is stressful for me in its self. When I get to the place this was on a Wednesday morning post 9 am and oh my gosh the place was heaving full of oaps. 

I am not used to this environment so really struggled to navigate and manage the noise.  Typical I picked the busiest day of the week. 

Then I go do a bit shopping for odds and sods and then get to the till and find I have not got my bank card it is at home. I then panic at the to and have a panic attack. So that was frustrating because it took time to go there and come back.

The next thing that annoyed me was instructions and people making them clear meaning that was is expected is not being reached.

Anyway, it's a half-term holiday so we can have a jolly good rest from it all.

I hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Friday 12 October 2018


Hey readers,

My word of the week is :

This is because my eldest has been really pushing mine and my husband's buttons. 

Something about the weekend and he goes ballistic and one of the reasons could be that he has been suppressing a lot of how he feels from school. 

He mentioned early this week that he had a headache all the time from the top down to the bottom of his head. He said he feels scared all the time and I think it is down to anxiety that is causing it. Not sure if he is saying that because at the moment his emotions are high or if this is actually 100 % true. 

Of course, the school are pretty useless and any time they see my son after school have a meltdown they turn the other way because they don't want to acknowledge it because let's face it getting help = money.

Anyhow enough politics there I had my flu jab this week and my arm has a cracking brush, fingers crossed it protects me through the winter.
Hope hope you have had a good week.

cheers for reading X


Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

because my emotions have been very up-down. I have felt frustrated with the school regarding my son and feeling like I am fighting a battle. I have been struggling with depression (but won't depress you with that).

 I have also had some happy moments because depression is not always a straight line and mental health is very messy.

I was proud of my son this week as he received marvellous reader award from school. He hadn't needed to be asked to read this week because he has been really loving Roald Dhal Revolting rhymes, he was hooked. I also dug out Dirty Beasts by Roald Dhal this week and he was hooked. He loves the funny dark side of tales, which is a very good choice in my

Also, this week I and hubby had a checky date night during a school night, haha. We went to see Simon Evans at Loughborough. It was a good night and just h tonic needed for both of us.
Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday 7 October 2018

My Sunsay Photo 07/10/2018