My Sunday photo 31/05/2020

Periods after pregnancy.

Hey readers,

I am on my period and it sucks physically and mentally every single month. It feels like hell! I know it is like this for a lot of women.

 However, since I gave birth something happened to my biology I think. I have noticed that post-postnatal changes have occurred and one thing that has happened is changing in my periods which has impacted me emotionally each month when I have my period.

I feel like it is a battle mentally. I am washed with dread a few days before my period arrives. I am terrified and on edge. I feel like I am literally on eggshells, I break down at the slightest thing. I feel fragile and terrified.

 My adrenalin is so high and I can't sleep which doesn't add to the mix because we all know lack of sleep can cause you to be irritable.

I am raging and want someone to give me concrete answers to such grey questions. I feel like I will always be like this and I get so angry because I want to run away from myself but I am stuck with me. 

I hate it and I get so jealous of the husband who is so carefree and relaxed. I hate anxiety, the way it torments me and makes my thoughts go into a fast racing mode. Why do I have to be like this, every fucking month?

 I hate it and I feel rubbish. I am non-stop shaking inside and out. I know the mood swings have gotten worse since I entered motherhood. Every month I am like this, there are times when I wish I could just rip out of my womb!

If the emotional side of having a period was enough to deal with there is the pain that comes along with it too and again it is considerably worse. Before my first pregnancy, I would suffer mild cramps that I could manage with some paracetamol.

 Now, I want to cry from the pain in my stomach. I feel like someone has punched me in the vagina and every time I have a poo it reminds me of being in labour and pushing out a baby. 

I can't lift my sons up as my back during the time of the month is so achy and feels like I have spent all day bending over when in reality I have done sod all.

I just needed to rant as I have had these for years and it sucks being female sometimes.

Have you experienced differences after giving birth in terms of changes associated with your period? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

Why social media is good.

Hey readers,

We all get bogged down in the negative side of social media. So lets for today celebrate all the good aspects of social media because I am a firm believer that there is bad and good in everything if you look close enough.

The internet is a good way to express yourself. I know for me I find verbal communication really, really difficult due to being autistic. Therefore, writing things down on my blog has really helped and it is a therapeutic process in getting my thoughts in order. 

There is also a great autistic community on twitter for example where you can openly discuss topics, it is great to get responses back. It can help other people understand you and help get more personal awareness out on specific topics.

As a parent and someone who struggles with mental health, loneliness is a feeling that has occurred over the years. I find the internet fantastic to connect with other similar people, whether it be through blogging, reading other people's experience, tweeting or even discussing worries/feelings in forums.

 Also,the internet can be a useful way to distract yourself from focusing on negativity. It really has helped me get out of that funk.

The internet can be used to speak to people far away or even close which is vital in helping with mental health. An example of this would be the current situation we are dealing with regarding coronavirus and social distancing. Using communicational platforms such as Facebook messenger and WhatsApp helps us connect to people where otherwise it is difficult. Not to mention it is much cheaper compared to phoning someone up. 

The internet is a splendid place if you want to get lost. With so much information out there, it is great to enhance your learning. You can even find scholarly type materials on google or good old YouTube.

The internet is definitely one way to get free entertainment and to do stuff without breaking the bank balance.  There is so many options, some examples are; watching YouTube videos, listening to radio, using social media and evening writing blogs ;)

If we look at recent events from this year especially in politics it demonstrates that the internet has a powerful voice. The cyber-world can influence for the good and make positive changes.

 A example of this would be with the way the internet has evolved politics with such matters of politicians being more transparency, though it is a slow process, it is something that is being taken seriously, especially with the way that majority of people get their information from the internet. 

Gone were the days when it was a two leadership battle, with having the internet it opens doors for more choice. Therefore, politicians have to work harder to get them likes and ultimately the power to change the lives of the ordinary public.

The internet is a great source of information where you can educate on all sorts of stuff. Whether be learning a new skill or finding some information for your child's homework there is a wealth of knowledge on the net that can be beneficial with helping your learn. 

What positives do you find in social media? Love to hear your comments in the comment section below.

Cheers for reading X

Getting kids out the front door.

Hey readers,

Why are children super fast when they want to be but as soon as a parent is desperate to get out the front door the same child does not comply with the urgency.

Here are some thoughts and conversations I have when trying to get kids ready and out the sodding door which you may or may nor relate to but keeping it real nonetheless.

1. Please get ready, we need to get to school on time before the gates closed. This comment generally occurs four times out of five on a school week *sigh*!

2. I hate you hubby for giving me the task of getting the boys ready, you absolute tool especially on a school day where the task of the little darlings to get there shoes on leaves me flustered and red-faced. 

3. If you don't get ready fast then I am going to turn off the TV. However soon after you need to turn the TV to get the kid's hair done without tears and tantrums. Not to mention that it gets the job done quicker and means that we get out of the door quicker

4. If you don't get ready I will phone your dad and you will be in serious trouble. (Let's face it no one wants to hear your daddy yell at you, even mummy gets scared with the decibels used).

5. When it gets close to birthday/Christmas or any special event that is important to your little darlings, it is the ultimate blackmail to get them ready and out the door promote. If parenting gets so bad it will be threatening every single day.

6. Shall I ask your teacher if you are like this at school? seems my son fears this one because he is so angelic he doesn't want the illusion to vanish from the teacher's eyes. Works a treat to kick his bottom into gear.

7. Threats about no pudding go down a treat (yes pun intended). Because it is common knowledge in the parent world that bribes are key to keeping everything nice and calm *wink, wink*!

8. If in doubt and you desperate bribes can be used to keep your own sanity intact. If ANYONE disagrees then they could bloody well come round at 7am and deal with the problem for me, no problem with that I tell you.

9) Stare at your child, it gives them the willies that the arguments must stop or mummy is going to lose her sh*t big time. This normally occurs when on a Friday because we all tired and about had enough of having to go through this drama for the fifth time this week.

10. If your child loves school as much as mine threatens that if they don't get dressed won't go to the school that day and do nothing all day at home. 

11. Now is not the time to look for that Fungus and Mungus as we need to be somewhere in ten minutes. 

Amazing how effective that is and they comply with your need of them getting their socks on.

Cheers for reading X

my Sunday photo 24/05/2020

24 gradiutation quotes to get you inspired!

Hey readers, 

It soon is coming to the end of the university year and final year students will be successful in completing their degree. 

Now due to the Coronavirus, a lot of summer graduations are cancelled for obvious reasons. However, you can still celebrate with a few celebration words on a card or photo on Instagram.

Sometimes it is hard to find the words but a good quote always goes down well. So, here are 24 graduation quotes to inspire you to celebrate the success of completing a degree or someone else achieving getting a degree. 

       1. “Do all the other things, the ambitious things—travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes…but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness.” - George Saunders.

2. “There is nothing more beautiful than finding your course as you believe you bob aimlessly in the current. Wouldn’t you know that your path was there all along, waiting for you to knock, waiting for you to become? This path does not belong to your parents, your teachers, your leaders, or your lovers. Your path is your character defining itself more and more every day like a photograph coming into focus.” - Jodie Foster.

3. “You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world.” - Tom Brokaw.

4. “Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive: easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.”- Henry Peter Brougham. 

5. “What we learn with pleasure we never forget.”- Alfred Mercier.

6. “Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honours!” - Louisa May Alcott.

7. “Instruction ends in the schoolroom, but education ends only with life.” - Frederick W. Robertson.

8. “An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”- Benjamin Franklin.

9. “Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” - Les Brown.

10. “Your life is your story, and the adventure ahead of you is the journey to fulfil your own purpose and potential.”- Kerry Washington.

11. “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Gandhi.

12. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” -Will Rogers.

13.  My favourite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out. There are going to be times in your life when you’re going to have to stick your neck out. There will be challenges and instead of hiding in a shell, you have to go out and meet them.” - Ruth Westheimer.

14. "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go."- Dr. Seuss.

15.  List your strengths and don't be shy. Celebrate the things you do well. Trust your decisions. Take action. - Erica Hudson.

16.  You are graduating, but don't think school is over, the school of life is just beginning. Keep learning! - Catherine Pulsifer.

17. Don't make excuses, don't blame the past. The rest of your life can be the best of your life! - Joel Osteen.

18. "Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference." - Arie Pencovici.

19.  "Never doubt you were born to do great things!" - Catherine Pulsifer.

20. "The secret of unleashing your true power is setting goals that are exciting enough that they truly inspire your creativity and ignite your passion." - Anthony Robbins.

21. "Make each day your masterpiece." - John Wooden.

22.  "Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience." - Paulo Coelho. 

23. "If we all did the things that we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." - Thomas Edison.

24.  "You'll never achieve real success unless you like what you're doing." - Dale Carnegie.

Cheers for reading X 

If You Love Me (Book Review)

Hey readers,

 If You Love Me by Alice Keale is a brilliant book to question trust and what extend you would go to prove your love for someone.

The story is based on the relationship between Alice and her boyfriend called Joe. Alice as an individual you feel really sorry for as she is portrayed to have low self-esteem and is seeking approval regardless and would go to great lengths to get that approval. 

The sad thing is that she is quite vulnerable and attracts not very good men who would treat her right.

It looks at the relationship between Alice and Joe and how it unravels to lead to horrific emotional and physical abuse Joe buts on Alice.

 What gets me is the friends and family seem to accept it even though they come looking for Alice and then I don’t know just vanish again, even though the horrific treatment from Joe towards Alice.

 It is a pretty awful situation as you can only do so much but clearly, power has a huge influence. It starts off with small things then spirals into a total loss of control.

Alice, in the end, loses everything and is left scared of life. Ok, Alice was not totally truthful with who she was meeting, who happened to be one of her ex’s, but she thought it was best because she felt she needed to end the affair with this man. She felt that past being dumped herself by her previous partner by phone was awful so she felt it was best to deliver the news face-to-face.

Therefore, you get the feeling she is just trying to do the decedent thing.

 Problem is Joe is untrustworthy. Leading him to find out and go to extreme lengths to manipulate Alice and even at one point getting Alice admitted into a psychiatric ward. The sad thing is that psychologists they saw Alice said that the reaction to Joe was extreme and over the top and that Alice clearly does not need to be in a psychiatric setting.

The whole over the reaction from Joe may be down to the fact that Joe’s mum relationship broke down with his father at a young age due to an affair that his father committed.

But here is the thing Alice did nothing wrong, she never cheated on anyone, she never slept with Anthony after she met Joe. 

So, the extreme abuse was uncalled for and any level headed person can see that. But with low self-esteem and sleep deprivation resulted in Alice thinking illogically causing her to accept Joe’s behaviour and doing whatever he asked of her.

Then one day out of the blue Joe tells Alice to go to her parents’ house in Devon as he needs a rest and time alone. He then calls Alice at a later date and ends the relationship abruptly, again always having the control right to the end.

Then things turned worse for Alice she lost all her money, her home, job and life in London. She spends weeks in bed and basically went through a similar experience of people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.

She has not been to the police which is sad because of the threads of power Joe has over her. She has to change job because Joe is in a similar job environment.

The sad thing really is the injustice of Joe getting away with it and potentially treated another person in a similar way.

Alice has to totally rebuild her life whilst Joe is doing well and moving further up in his career. Alice now has to change her job and start at the bottom.

With help from friends and family, she is slowly rebuilding her life. But due to NHS waiting list as she now cannot afford private therapy she has to battle for months with the mental torture that has been inflicted by Joe.

After reading this you feel angry but afraid for the next victim of Joe’s. You hope that justice is met and does get you thinking politically about the rules within criminal justice. 

It is a really emotional read and a page-turner but be warned it is not for the light-hearted.

Cheers for reading X  

50 perfect questions for a lockdown quiz

Hey readers,

A great way to spend time with family and friends with your household or zoom etc is to have a quiz. A quiz is a fun activity that can help relax you and have fun together. 

I have complied 50 questions and answers (further down so keep scrolling down) so you can just enjoy the quiz. 

The Questions to the quiz.

1. How many teeth does an adult human have?

2. What is the largest bird of prey in the world?

3. In which sport would you use a shuttlecock?

4. Who is fifth in line to the British throne?

5. What is the biggest state in America?

6. Who wrote Snow White And The Seven Dwarves?

7. What is the capital of Hawaii?

8. Enchiladas originated in which country?

9. In Dirty Dancing, what is Baby's first name?

10. How many eggs does the average chicken lay per year?

11. What is the capital of Australia?

12. What do invertebrates lack?

13. What type of pastry is used to make profiteroles?

14. Who won Love Island 2020? (One point for both people and you don't have to name their last names to get a point).

15. What is the longest river in the world?

16. In Bingo, if a caller says Knock at the door, what does he mean?

17. Which parts of the human body have half of the bones?

18. Which James Bond theme tune did Sir Tom Jones sing?

19. What is James Corden's character called in Gavin & Stacey?

20. True or false: Bananas grow on trees?

21. How old is Queen Elizabeth II?

22. What was the best selling single of 2019?

23. When did World War I end?

24. Who I sang - "I should be so lucky"?

25. How many Oscars has Meryl Streep won?

26. How much does the average male hippo weigh (in kg)?

27. How many legs does a crab have?

28. What is the chemical symbol for gold?

29. Which fictional wizard said: "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live?"

30. Who wrote the Jungle Book?

31. How tall is a basketball hoop (in ft)?

32. What is used to measure the severity of earthquakes?

33. What is the title of the film featuring John Travolta as Tony Manero?

34. Finish the Martin Luther King Jr quote: "I have a..."

35. What's the fastest animal in the world?

36. Blue Planet is a nature documentary narrated by who?

37. Who plays Sophie in Mamma Mia?

38. What is the most venomous creature on earth?

39. What movie did Cher win an Oscar for?

40. What percentage of the human body is water?

41. What hunts most, the male or female lion?

42. What is the national sport of Japan?

43. Who was Henry VIII's last wife?

44. What the main character in a Disney film never speaks?

45. What national team won the first-ever football World Cup in 1930?

46. Why is Kopi Luwak the most famous/infamous coffee in the world?

47. What is a baby elephant called?

48. What is the main ingredient in black pudding?

49. Before marrying into the Royal Family, what was Meghan Markle most famous for?

50. Who became the first black manager of a Premiership football club in 1996?

Answers to the questions.

1. 32.

2. Andean Condor.

3. Badminton.

4. Prince Louis.

5. Alaska.

6. The Brothers Grimm.

7. Honolulu.

8. Mexico.

9. Frances.

10. 260.

11. Canberra.

12. A backbone.

13. Choux (we're not being strict on spelling, but make sure you let us know if anyone had a funny/different way of spelling it).

14. Finn Tapp and Paige Turley.

15. River Nile.

16. Number four.... BINGO.

17. The hands and feet. There are 27 in each hand and 26 in each foot.

18. Thunderball.

19. Smithy.

20. It is actually false. People often assume they grow on trees, however, they grow on a herbaceous plant or a 'herb'. It is not a tree because the stem does not contain true woody tissue.

21. 94-years-old.

22. Someone You Loved, Lewis Capaldi.

23. November 11, 1981.

24. Kylie Minogue.

25. Three.

26. 1,500-1,800kg.

27. 10.

28. Chimpanze or Bonobo. 

29. Albus Dumbledore.

30. Rudyard Kipling.

31. 10 feet.

32. The Richter scale.

33. Saturday Night Fever.

34. Dream.

35. Cheetah.

36. David Attenborough.

37. Amanda Seyfried.

38. Box jellyfish.

39. Moonstruck. 

40. 60 per cent.

41. The female lion hunts the most

42. Sumo wrestling

43. Catherine Parr

44. Dumbo

45. Uruguay

46. This type of coffee is famous in Indonesia and Asia because the coffee beans used in the drink have been partially digested and defecated by a civet (a type of cat) and then removed from the droppings and made into coffee... lovely

7. A baby elephant is called a calf

8. Pork blood

49. She was an actress, most famously in the US TV series, Suits

50. Ruud Gullit for Chelsea

Do you enjoy quizzes at home love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below? 

Cheers for reading X 

Printsfield Personlised sock review *AD*

Hey readers,

I just love quicky items that are just so fun and the internet is an amazing place to find different shops that can cater to your needs. 

I was lucky enough to be asked to review some socks by Printsfield, of course, I said yes because of one socks and two there quicky what's not to love.

 Below is my design with a picture of my beloved cat who sadly passed away so it is a great memory to have to wear close to me when I am feeling low. 

 Now let me tell you some information about Printsfield because you may not have heard about them and want to know what the deal is. 

Well, Printsfield is an excellent online shop that provides may different personalised goodies ranging from socks, pants and laptop sleeves. You can add a personalised touch with a photo of your choice to add on the product. 

It easy to complete an order as all you need to do is when completing your order download your photo onto the form and the rest is dealt with. 

I know Coronavirus is impacting delivery so bear that in mind. Still pretty pleased with the delivery service which took roughly three weeks considering it was delivered from another country (Poland). 

The detail on the socks is ace and really good visually with the picture added onto the socks. I chose the galaxy print to go with my picture on my socks which I like a lot. Of course, there are different patterns you can incorporate with your product. The material is really good quality and I can't fault it to be honest. 

The price of the socks is £16.95 and they are currently on sale so go grab a hot deal. There is also a 20% code on all items if you use the code thisiswhereitisat20. 

One last thing to mention with the personalised socks or any other of the personalised items as there is many to choose from they would make a perfect gift especially with Father's day around the corner. 

The unique and fun factor make a perfect combination of giving someone you know something different for a special occasion. 

Cheers for reading X

This is an ad  Printsfield in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are entirely my own. 

My Sunday Photo 17/05/2020

hair pulling and autism

Hey readers,

Pulling hair out is one of my issues because of my autism and depression.

 I relate it to my senses because there are moments when I want to hurt myself or feel something. 

I have been knowing to pull and yank my hair when I am very distressed. 

When I am having a meltdown or am extremely angry, I have torn out large clumps of hair because I do not always have the communication skills to express myself. 

I sometimes think that because I am a bad parent, I should punish myself.

 Because I am disabled and can not always give my kids the opportunities other parents can, I despise myself and worry that I am ruining my kids for life.

I am aware that this is not the "normal" method of self-harm that has gained popularity over time.

 Because of my low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy brought on by my autism, I get really frustrated and hurt myself.

  I realise this is a depressing situation, but it is what it is.

I have always had difficulty with my autism, most likely as a result of previous reactions from parents or carers when I was younger, who either said I was not good enough or rejected my diagnosis as an adult. I still struggle with the thoughts a lot to this day.

I have discussed in a vlog before about skin picking but I haven't mentioned hair pulling because I was in a bit of denial. 

I feel through the autism community is good online in accepting and promoting praise for the disability. 

I feel that if you were to pipe up and say actually sometimes I don't like being autistic, that you might get abuse and people won't like you. 

I guess I am not yet that strong to always speak out and be honest about how I am feeling. 

I think it is something with time and with my confidence in blogging writing it will come out.

Cheers for reading X