Monday, 25 May 2020

Getting kids out the front door.

Hey readers,

Why are children super fast when they want to be but as soon as a parent is desperate to get out the front door the same child does not comply with the urgency.

Here are some thoughts and conversations I have when trying to get kids ready and out the sodding door which you may or may nor relate to but keeping it real nonetheless.

1. Please get ready, we need to get to school on time before the gates closed. This comment generally occurs four times out of five on a school week *sigh*!

2. I hate you hubby for giving me the task of getting the boys ready, you absolute tool especially on a school day where the task of the little darlings to get there shoes on leaves me flustered and red-faced. 

3. If you don't get ready fast then I am going to turn off the TV. However soon after you need to turn the TV to get the kid's hair done without tears and tantrums. Not to mention that it gets the job done quicker and means that we get out of the door quicker

4. If you don't get ready I will phone your dad and you will be in serious trouble. (Let's face it no one wants to hear your daddy yell at you, even mummy gets scared with the decibels used).

5. When it gets close to birthday/Christmas or any special event that is important to your little darlings, it is the ultimate blackmail to get them ready and out the door promote. If parenting gets so bad it will be threatening every single day.

6. Shall I ask your teacher if you are like this at school? seems my son fears this one because he is so angelic he doesn't want the illusion to vanish from the teacher's eyes. Works a treat to kick his bottom into gear.

7. Threats about no pudding go down a treat (yes pun intended). Because it is common knowledge in the parent world that bribes are key to keeping everything nice and calm *wink, wink*!

8. If in doubt and you desperate bribes can be used to keep your own sanity intact. If ANYONE disagrees then they could bloody well come round at 7am and deal with the problem for me, no problem with that I tell you.

9) Stare at your child, it gives them the willies that the arguments must stop or mummy is going to lose her sh*t big time. This normally occurs when on a Friday because we all tired and about had enough of having to go through this drama for the fifth time this week.

10. If your child loves school as much as mine threatens that if they don't get dressed won't go to the school that day and do nothing all day at home. 

11. Now is not the time to look for that Fungus and Mungus as we need to be somewhere in ten minutes. 

Amazing how effective that is and they comply with your need of them getting their socks on.

Cheers for reading X


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