Friday 30 October 2015


Hey readers,
My word of the week is:


I chose the word noise as I have a lot of.internal chatter going on. However, I feel so good not having to run around like a headless chicken this week with not having to drop and pick up my son from nursery. It is lovely to see my son not so tired from nursery and not going to speech therapy this week. It gave my son the time to spend with his brother and just generally chill out.
The downfall of not being so structured and having less time is falling back on blog admin. I am the type of person to feel  guilty with not catching up on comments, commenting on linkies and so for. I don't know why I just think I am too conscientious at times and put too much pressure on myself. I am like that with everything though, if someone wants me to do something I immediately jump up like lightening to do it.  So, I feel guilty when I have been a bit slow, but it is silly really. I am sure I am not alone but I tend to over analyse like I am now and I really hate that about my personality. But sometimes it can come in handy, so really swings in roundabouts.
Anyhow I will be looking forward to carving our pumpkins as I love arts and craft type stuff with the sproglets. So happy Halloween readers and hope you have some spooktacular fun ;)
Cheers for reading X

First Child Vs Second Child

Hey readers,

I am writing this post to tell you my experience of what it is like to have a first and second baby and the differences between them. Trust me no child is the same but also you are neither the same. As experience and life shape, you and we are always moving forward whether we like it or not it, fact!
I digress, Here is my top ten list of the differences of having a first and second child.

1. When I first had my baby boy I was a nervous wreck about everything. My anxiety was flying off the radar. The change was so overwhelming and the feeling of not being in control because I have never done this whole parent business before emerged. I wanted to be perfect but I learnt fast that was an unrealistic expectation and unreachable! The second baby was a bit more relaxed (I always have anxiety) but felt more aware and knowledgeable second time round. Didn't fear labour as most of my fear first time round was based around the unknown.

2. First-time child  I could pay attention wholly on my darling and was a lot easier to have a focus on one child. Second time round was intense and very difficult for me as I am not good at multi-tasking. I am autistic I Iike to pay attention to one thing at one time. Trust me with an inquisitive and excitable toddler that ain't going happen. My two year old was mental with energy and was bouncing all over the place therefore found it very challenging. I think for both of us in reflection was a difficult transactional period. Now two years on I love it more as my boys are friends sometimes and my youngest can copy my eldest. His speech is better and faster and picks up on things from his brother.

3. My eldest had one cold in a two year period. Then he attended school and has a several cold/flu type illnesses. Whereas my second has had several illnesses pre school years old due to my eldest sharing his lovely germs.

4. With the first baby time was a lot more readily available therefore it was easier going out shopping and the like. Soon as the second one came along it was very, very stressful and struggle for me to manage when out and about. OK, lot easier now my son has kissed goodbye to the buggy for good. I don't have to worry about crashing the double buggy everywhere and running over peoples as much now! It is more manageable now though still don't do it frequently with two together as I get meltdowns due to being autistic. Luckily I am in a place where I don't have to worry too much about having to take them both out at the time. Like I said previously I really struggle to multi-task and then add social situations I am diabolical. Second time round I have less time to focus on each boy. However, I have to manage a routine after time and have adapted within my means. I am very lucky that my eldest picked up potty training in a week and that includes at night. So when it is nappy changing I just focus on including my son as a little helper so he doesn't feel left out.

5. With my first child I learnt the hard way with to make sure that everything was out of reach as soon as he could walk. In contrast, the second child is a breeze with safety as I had prior experience with it and already got a lot of safety features in the home.

6. When I was weaning my first child I was advised to baby-led weaning which as typical me I took as Gospel. I went to the group and followed the rules to the book. The downfall was I took everything literal therefore when they said the child had to use their hand I did just that. I didn't use any utensils as they said they had to experiment and learn for themselves. Being autistic common sense lacks and finding a medium ground is something that I fail badly with. No one explains instructions clearly therefore I find these periods of learning extremely stressful and it can really get me down. 

Second time around with weaning  I said fuck the rules and the stress. With weaning the first time round taught me to do with what I wanted to do. OK, the child was more compliant which made it a hell of a lot easier but I was more relaxed and I believe that influences parenting experience for all. 

7. When I had my first child I sterilised everything and had a panic attack if the lid of the bottle fell on the fall. Compare this to the second where the three-second rule applies right?! My thoughts are germs will help build his immune system and playing in mud is part of sensory play right ;)

8. As a new mum you want to try EVERYthing and get so absorbed in trying to be a perfect mother so therefore.o attended the dreaded baby group. The most boring thing in the world was attended by the groups. They nearly killed me with the stress of it and the social situations. I just found them so boring and the chat well was beyond tedious. I am just not one of the mums and certainly prefer structure play and not to be around small talk. Second time round I attended the baby groups and decided enough was enough. I am going to go to a dance group and the library group as I enjoy them as they are structured and love stories and songs over messy play ;) the pressure is not on so much and feels much more laidback about the issues around making sure my baby interacts properly. He has an older sibling so he is not going miss out. lol. 

9. When settling my eldest to sleep we cuddled him to sleep and then put him into his cot. where he would sleep soundly most through the night. In sharp contrast with having two children we put them together in their own bed in the same room and often leave them to get on with it. As they share a bedroom this impacted on them. Once we dropped the side of the cot for my youngest he would not settle at first. This impacted both my boys sleep settling as my youngest found it at first a novelty. So we had to stay there sitting with both boys fell asleep. However, one would wake up and crawl into the others bed. Normally my youngest as he is very affectionate and they would most of the time sleep together in one bed cramped together. Now, though it is more of a morning ritual for the boys to cuddle in bed at least us parents can have five minutes of peace before the mayhem begins.

10. When documenting baby's development you covered it and monitored intensely compared to the second child and you have some prints hitten away. But at least with the second time around you are not on tenterhooks as you know roughly what to expect. The major valuable lesson is that each child is different and will do what they want in their own time. Even if it is not what you expected most time you will find a way of muddling through.
Cheers for reading X

Friday 23 October 2015


Hey readers,

My word of the week is


Knowing that we are coming to a half term and a breakis well needed here. I break from the mayhem of getting the my little boy to nursery is making me want to punch the air . I didn't think it be so tiring picking up and dropping off.but then for someone who struggles socially and the fact that their is no social order with people wondering everywhere Inn the building causes me to panic. Put anxiety is very high knowing I have to go in the building each day and face the chaos to not have to think about it for a week sounds amazingly blissful.
 I think that I am not the exception everyone in our household could do with a break and chill out. Everyone seems a bit more tired especially me and I  am not looking forward to the clocks going back. Though I do like the darkness and candle light. God I feel old when all I think about is sleep.I have two important meetings next week and so a break just to get through them would help my autistic mind.l aching bones.
I am finding it difficult with lots of new things happening that this October break with less pressure will do me the world.

Cheers for reading X

Thursday 15 October 2015

A Bit Of This, A Bit Of That

Hey readers,
I have gathered even more chat over the last couple of weeks from the boys for you to enjoy:
So my son turned his arms out and spis around and apparently this is 'me being an electric windmill'. He has been obsessed with windmills ever since we went on holiday this year to Norfolk.
I love my sons replies whenever he realises he gets something wrong or mistaken he says "silly me mummy".
When daddy was sorting out DS1 breakfast one morning he was having toast and he said, " want honey on my toast daddy as it will make me super strong".
Daddy said to DS1 that he was really hot and my eldest responded by blowing him down with spit to call him down, lovely.
Anytime mummy is panicking or nervous my eldest reassurances me by saying "don't worry mummy".
My youngest is still making sounds and can say " ooth, Mr Oom" (Mr Bloom if you were wondering).

None other than Mr Bloom
We have a chilli plant in the kitchen and we have finally grown a chilli and it has now changed a red colour. My son told my husband, "daddy chilli plant red now you can eat it now".
Daddy had a shandy homemade and he was telling mummy that he did not the strength of his drink and my son said matter of factly, " my brain knows how strong it is, it's a little bit strong".
Thanks for reading X

Little Hearts, Big Love


Hey reader,
My word of the week is:-
I chose this word because I feel I have loads of energy this week. I don't know why, maybe it was because I have been relaxing the week before due to poorlyness. But I feel really motivated right now and actually feel inspired to do them jobs that you but off because you just can't be arsed.
Also, I hace signed up for a music class which has taken me awhile to have the courage to do due to slef dealting. But I took the pulge and signed up this week we shall see on the day how that goes.
I feel more motivated and good in myself which will always be a battle with my depression as I am always swinging that arrow from one mood to the next. The lesson I have leant when living with depression is that you appreciate the good days when I feel good and not so self doubting as a parent.
I've been calmer around the kiddos too and being more patient. I have been really working hard on my communication skills. I have had some good news with having a date set for a specialist parenting class as i have some difficults due to my autism. So I am feeling a bit more optimistic and when you finally see some good it makes you feel more positive to face the days. Lets hope it stays this way.
Cheers for reading X

Monday 5 October 2015

Ftmob 05/10/2015

Hey readers,
Hope your keeping well, I have some great snippets this week so here goes:-

  1. On the bus with my eldest and he says REALLY loadly "where's daddy's muppet'. This comment is in reference to my husband the day before in the car calling a driver a Muppet as they did not indicate ands pull straight of a junction.
  2. When we are in the lift (we live in tower block) and a really tall man gets in and my son repeatedly says "that man is really tall, why is that man really tall!" Yes this made me cringe and kids are far too honest sometimes, haha!
  3. When we were having paella the other week my son tells hubby "I like peas now daddy".  
  4. Now if we tell my eldest we haven't got the money for something my son responds and says, "I've got money in my piggy bank mummy". I can confirm that yes there is money in the piggy bank but sadly only full of twos/ones and five pees. Lol!
  5. My youngest saw a fly come through the window and he says "buzzzzzz"
  6. My hubby has two different songs connected to two different alarm times on his phone each being the music artist Moby. So I put a Moby video on YouTube for my son as he requested so sweetly and he comments and obsesses for days and asked a lot, "why is Moby bauld like you Daddy". Haha!
  7. When I state anything my DS1 things he already knows he replies, "yeah I know". Very little Britain style ;)
  8. My son refers to anything star shape as " twinkle twinkle little star ".
Cheers for reading X

Sunday 4 October 2015


Hey readers,
Hope you are keeping well!
My word of the week is:
I chose mirgraine as my word as it had dominated my week and a huge influence in my mood. It has stopped me from doing my normal days and been a general pain in the arse! But then again it is a excuse to do sod all so every silver lining!
I was dubious to write this as I feel really paranoid about what I write at the moment. I don't know why I just really conscious of what I write about. I don't know if I am the only one who feels like this. Obviously I don't write about personal stuff to me. However, I do try to be authentic even though sometimes I sound like a d**k!
I worry I moan too much but on the other hand this is my space and it is good to moan on here and use as a vent rather then maybe more.negative ways like eating chocolate, haha.
Anyhow sorry about the ramble. I just tend to write  about the first things that pop into my brain.
Thank you for reading and hope you have a good week X

Thursday 1 October 2015


Hey readers,
My word of the week is:
This is because we have been out.and about and just generally having fun with my boys.
As you are probably aware we have been blessed with a few days of sunshine and warmth. Obviously, being British weather you have to cease the moment.
Therefore we have been exploring local parks, including a new one which was refreshing to have new scenery. We also had lovely crisp walks crunching the leaves and  even having the odd ice cream.
We also ventured out to Button Dassett country park which is brillant for little kids as it allows them to be free to walk about without worrying about cars. We also got to watch the sunset setting on top of a hill which was lovely do as a family.
That pretty sums up my week, hope you have had a good week.
Cheers for reading X