Friday, 1 May 2020

Silly things my mind has told me.

Hey readers,

I have anxiety and depression and one of the problems with these conditions is that I suffer from intrusive thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are frightening, they are exhausting (for me).

They feel real and can potentially turn into a cycle where the thoughts can come quickly. They may be thoughts that are fear-induced or down to lack of control. Control is a big trigger for me and my anxiety.

So, now I am going to share with you some of the kind of silly things my brain tries to tell me and trick me into believing.

* Husband is going to call social services because I have the TV on therefore I am not a good parent.

* Such and such a teacher is watching my every move I make, see if I am capable. They are taking notes and discussing me in a negative light with their colleagues. 

* They are taking the piss out of me because I stutter, I am shaking and crying. 

*They are watching me and judging me because I am fat, I can't engage.

* They think I am not a good parent and I shouldn't look after my kids.

* My husband is going to die, he is out and won't come back. He hates me and blames me for everything.

* My husband when out shopping with the boys, I get fearful especially for long periods that they have died in the car. I am petrified and shaking. I am having very dark imagery thoughts about how the bodies are dismantled in the car, the process of imagining them dying in the car.

* A parent in the playground is looking at me, talking about how ugly I am. How rubbish parent I am. How socially awkward I am. How retarded my children are.
The examples I have given are just a handful of examples, that have happened in the last couple of days. 

I wanted to share how horrible the thoughts can be and they are so scary. People assume anxiety is something a bit mandy pandy but it is a struggle. It is a battle every day for me. 

Sometimes I have better days, sometimes I have worse days. But the anxiety is always there ready and waiting.

Cheers for reading X


  1. Sending big hugs. It must be hard to have these thoughts. I sometimes think some of the same. x