Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts

Impossible

It's impossible,

Impossible to live,

Impassive to hide


Impossible to do anything right.

Lost

I've lost my way,
I'm alone,
Sitting in the dark,
With no words to be found.

who am I

Who am I,
I have lost my identity,
I feel I am replaced,
by a robot,
everything seems to function,
but emotionless.

broken

Get up and go,
but what happens
if there is no go
where do I go,
who can help me
when society is broken.

Reality

Everything is falling apart,

I want to hide, 

But reflections of reality 

Are at every corner I turn. 

Stuck in a thought.

Don't go hating me,

It is just in my mind, 

My thoughts

Want to lie to me,

Destroy me,

One thought at a time.

Unknown to me.

I didn't sign up to this,

There was no contact,

So, how am I supposed to know,

How to perform,

The way you want me to be.

What's Up.

Don't come around here,

knocking on my door,

 like I'm the same person,

 I have no idea where I'm going.
Why is it that I don't have the tools,

To parent the way I am meant to.

People assume I know,

Most of the time,

I am floating,

Going nowhere,

Feeling lost,

Abandoned,

Isolated and scared,

No one ever,

Tells you this is reality,

But guilt reminds me,

Everyday!

Social Anxiety.

Why do I screw it up,

Words are there.

But they don't come out.

Now I am left with doubt,

Paranoia to the max,

Over analysing,

All the things I could say,

But the anxiety cripes me,

Now I am sad,

Because yet again I have messed up.

Nothing to you

I see you,
Looking at me,
Not knowing how
To work me out.
Again I end up
Nothing,
insignificant. 
I go back to hating
myself. 
I go lower,
Hating me,
Dreading, 
Feeling sick. 
I am nothing, 
Less value, 
No one wants.

Enough

Don't feel good enough,

Hate me,

Silent tears,

Watching life go on,

Thoughts go back,

Haunting me,

Killing me,

I hope today will pass.

Linger

I'm in a room,
Present,
Then bang I am transported,
Back to the time,
When I was little,
Powerless,
No control,
No voice,
The memories linger on.

Emotions


Slip in the moment


Twist

I see the light, 
you thought 
you owned me,
turns out
I am smarter than you 
think. 
You forget 
I have a brain,
you try,
twist it around, 
controller, 
not now, 
I have seen the light 
for what you are. 

I am not worthy

I feel I am not worthy, 

I ask myself how,
I ended up here,
Doing this,
When I am clearly 
I am not enough. 
I am a fake!
I am a fraud!
Hide me,
I am not worthy.

The fear

I hear it,
I feel it,
It's coming
To get me,
The fear,
So real,
Haunting my every move. 
I awake with that 
Familiar feeling,
It creeps up, 
Till I am 
Scared to death. 

More harm then good.

There are times when I want to walk out the door, run away and vanish.
I don't have the strength and it hurts is not good enough.
I suck at living and sometimes I don't want to be here.
I want to hide away somewhere dark,
 quiet where no one can reach me.
It feels like an ongoing battle which constantly I need to fight.
It tires me out and I feel so alone and feel like I the only one.
This is my reality I have to live day in day out and it is exhausting.
Sometimes, I just want to die because I cause more harm than good.

Slippy Mess.

Why do I always slip up,
Every step I take,
I gravitate back,
It's hard to get out,
Of this slippery mess,

One day I may overcome.