Autism and personal space.

Hey readers, 

You have probably gathered from reading some of my posts on my blog that I am autistic. 

One of the major things, when I think about something that is important to me and on my autistic life is personal space. 

I put a huge emphasis on this because it has a big influence on my mindset and how I respond to day to day life. 

When I refer to space it could mean when people get to close to me which I am not a fan of espeically with people I do not know.

 I only have a few selective people that make me feel comfortable when they come into my space.

 I get very distressed for example when I accidentally touch a stranger on the bus, or someone who sits very close to me who I  do not know. 

It feels like my whole skin is crawling and my body tenses up. I am not a touchy-feely person.

 I don't trust and sometimes there are days when I limit physical contact as I may be feeling not well with my anxiety or I am over stimulated with everything that is currently happening to me in my environment.

I know there is more prominence to autistic individuals who are space invaders but some of us like me are people who are distant when it comes to getting close to people.

When I think MY space I think of one place in my home which belongs to me. I identify this place as safe and somewhere I go to when I am stressed having a meltdown or need a time out from the business of my environment. 

It is important to me because I rely on that safety feeling associated with my safe space and that calms me down when I am anxious. 

Not much of my home belongs purely to me naturally having children a lot of toys and stuff around. 

That is fine I accept that but if my small area gets obstructed or my husband makes a mess of the room this makes me stressed and very angry. 

I struggle to see beyond that moment so feel like the situation when my space gets messed up feels like it will be forever.

Of course, it is not and when I am calm I can think logically. However, when you are anxious and have to deal with change this is a struggle. Not to mention navigating to a new plan to help when you're already in an emotional state it is difficult to see any other solution then my whole world is falling apart.

 I guess this why people who have a lack of knowledge about autism will just see me as having a 'strope' or being a diva. 

It is isn't the materialistic space it is the knowledge that I have my safe space that I can rely on at times of distress that comfort me knowing that it is quiet and somewhere I can trust. 

Along with the physical space I have my sensory items that bring comfort to me such as a heated blanket and lying under a lot of weight to make me feel secure and safe. 

I also can use my noise canelling headphones and soft lighting all help calm me down when I am distressed or dealing with a meltdown or shutdown. 

All the little things add up and once they get taken down I feel broken because they are my  coping mechanisms. They're the things that help me deal with day to day life.

 Likewise, if I have the safety net of my safe place it can help me calm down. It provides a sense of control and reduces me having emotional outbursts because I know that I have a backup plan when things go wrong. It is the small things that make a huge difference. 

Cheers for reading X 

6 reasons to avoid Black Friday.

Hey readers,

Soon it will be Black Friday (29th November).

If you didn't know Black Friday is a tradition that started in America the day after Thanks Giving (which is the fourth Thursday in November).

On Black Friday stores offer high sales and open their stores early on the day. 

The popularity has reached the UK as well though even though we don't celebrate Thanks Giving. 

 I have an issue with black Friday and here are my reasons below. 

1. Rage. 

I can not stand the greed of some people where they go absolutely berserk in shopping rage in order to get a bloody TV or something similar and even more so when they get violent.

 It saddens me that something material makes people act so negative and nasty way. 

2. Overspending. 

The problem with Black Friday is that most people can often be found to be spontaneous and buy things maybe they don't need or overspend on a budget they don't have. 

The buzz is in the air whereas if you have a plan and work on your budget I think you get a better deal in the long run. 

 The black Friday idea is actually to lure the customer in to spend loads on impulse because the deals are short term, don't last long and make you feel that they are brilliant deals with all the promotion in the media. 

3. Crowded. 

Yuk, too many crowds of sweaty people in a state of urgency in a cramped space really is not my cup of tea! 

Why would you wait for hours to get a deal, the thought makes me feel depressed. Yes, it is lovely to get a deal but is it really worth it when it is just such a miserable experience, it just makes me associate the item with frustration and anger. 

4. Real deal?

Do you really get a good offer on Black Friday as it has been found that dynamic pricing happens? 

Dynamic pricing is when the prices rise during the early weeks of November then on the day are reduced to its original price so where is the saving? For example, the £50 bag you wanted was most likely to be £50 earlier this year. Therefore your not really saving at all because it is just tricks to lure you into the idea that you are getting a bargain when you are not. 

5. Hype.

Is Black Friday really good for people who are into saving or are we just believing the hype that we are getting good deals? 

Black Friday again feeds into this pretend idea of getting a bargain when really your most likely not!

The best thing to do is if you are frugal then to avoid shops on Black Friday, save your money and budget instead. This will save you a few quid when you're not going on an impulse splurge which can easily be done in the moment of mayhem. 

6. Thankful.

I know I am from the UK so don't celebrate Thanksgiving but I am questioning the idea of Black Friday being the day after Thanksgiving. 

This is because Thanksgiving is meant to be a time of being thankful for what you have and then the next day people go on a mad spree to get material objects. It is utter madness and does goes against the whole notion of Thanksgiving surely?!

What is your view on Black Friday? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 10/11/2019

**AD** #FriendshipFriday

Hey readers, 

Did you know today is the 8th November which means #FriendshipFriday that coincides with anti-bullying week which happens every year in November. 

This post is all about the SockShop campaign about bullying and self-harm. 

Sockshop is working together with Kidscape who work with children and want to see children grow in a world without bullying and harm.

 They provide advice, training and practical tools for children, families, professionals, and carers to prevent bullying and protect young lives. 

So, for this campaign, the wonderful people of Sockshop designed a very special edition od Elmer the  Patchwork Elephant socks to celebrate the famous children's book character's 30th birthday. 

Below are pictures of me trying out the Elmer socks which have the distinctive patchwork rainbow trademark pattern on the socks. 

I found the socks super soft and made from bamboo which is great for me as an autistic person who appreciates soft material. 

They also when wearing the socks all day don't get sweaty and are super comfortable perfect for keeping your skin soft and protected. 

Also, the socks have a smooth hand-linked toe seam which is fabulous for sensory issues.

 The socks come in men, women and children's sizes. I want to find out more information about the socks click here.

For every purchase of these socks, 10% will go to Kidscape which will help support which is important charity work. 

Cheers for reading X 

I have been gifted a pair of Elmer Sockshop socks in order for a review and raise awareness for the charity. However, all opinions expressed are entirely my own.

Why is it that I don't have the tools,

To parent the way I am meant to.

People assume I know,

Most of the time,

I am floating,

Going nowhere,

Feeling lost,

Abandoned,

Isolated and scared,

No one ever,

Tells you this is reality,

But guilt reminds me,

Everyday!

My Sunday photo 03/11/2019

5 ways to tell you that your cat loves you

Hey readers,

We all know cats rule ;) *ok that's it's just my opinion*. So many people assume that cats are cold creatures which beg the question of how do you know if a cat loves you?

Well, below I have outlined 5 ways your cat loves you.

1. Headbutts.

You know your cat likes you by the way they come over and rub against your leg. This shows that they are really very happy to have you in there space and like to be close to their owners.

Also when cats are rubbing up against your legs they are rubbing their sent onto you as a way to say you are accepted to them and they are happy to have you in their home.

2. Sleep.

One of the loveliest things is when cats come over and sleep on you or close by. They clearly want your company and feel safe with you around them. They can be vulnerable when they are asleep so if they do sleep near you this demonstrates that they are happy and contented to sleep in your presence.

3. Cat tail. 

Though there are different meanings as to what a cattail means and how the cat is feeling. One positive sign is when your cat's tail is twitching at the tip of the tail. This is an indication that the cat is happy and feeling blissful around you.

4 Blink. 

Do you notice when your cat moves their paws up and down while purring at you?  well this is called kneading - when the cat was a kitten they would knead against their mother to stimulate milk production. Now that the cat is an adult they still hold on to these behaviours to show their affection.

5. Greetings. 

When I come home from a long day out my cat greets me with his tail up and this is another positive sign that they are happy to see you.

It also shows that they have missed you and want some love from you as well.

Do you have cats? What ways does your cat show you love? Love ot hear your comments down below in the comment section. 

Cheers for reading X