Hey readers,
My word of the week is
Happy
Knowing that we are coming to a half term and a breakis well needed here. I break from the mayhem of getting the my little boy to nursery is making me want to punch the air . I didn't think it be so tiring picking up and dropping off.but then for someone who struggles socially and the fact that their is no social order with people wondering everywhere Inn the building causes me to panic. Put anxiety is very high knowing I have to go in the building each day and face the chaos to not have to think about it for a week sounds amazingly blissful.
I think that I am not the exception everyone in our household could do with a break and chill out. Everyone seems a bit more tired especially me and I am not looking forward to the clocks going back. Though I do like the darkness and candle light. God I feel old when all I think about is sleep.I have two important meetings next week and so a break just to get through them would help my autistic mind.l and.my aching bones.
I am finding it difficult with lots of new things happening that this October break with less pressure will do me the world.
Cheers for reading X
Friday 23 October 2015
Happy
Thursday 15 October 2015
A Bit Of This, A Bit Of That
Hey readers,
I have gathered even more chat over the last couple of weeks from the boys for you to enjoy:
So my son turned his arms out and spis around and apparently this is 'me being an electric windmill'. He has been obsessed with windmills ever since we went on holiday this year to Norfolk.
I love my sons replies whenever he realises he gets something wrong or mistaken he says "silly me mummy".
When daddy was sorting out DS1 breakfast one morning he was having toast and he said, " want honey on my toast daddy as it will make me super strong".
Daddy said to DS1 that he was really hot and my eldest responded by blowing him down with spit to call him down, lovely.
Anytime mummy is panicking or nervous my eldest reassurances me by saying "don't worry mummy".
My youngest is still making sounds and can say " ooth, Mr Oom" (Mr Bloom if you were wondering).
Daddy had a shandy homemade and he was telling mummy that he did not the strength of his drink and my son said matter of factly, " my brain knows how strong it is, it's a little bit strong".
Thanks for reading X
Energetic
Also, I hace signed up for a music class which has taken me awhile to have the courage to do due to slef dealting. But I took the pulge and signed up this week we shall see on the day how that goes.
I feel more motivated and good in myself which will always be a battle with my depression as I am always swinging that arrow from one mood to the next. The lesson I have leant when living with depression is that you appreciate the good days when I feel good and not so self doubting as a parent.
I've been calmer around the kiddos too and being more patient. I have been really working hard on my communication skills. I have had some good news with having a date set for a specialist parenting class as i have some difficults due to my autism. So I am feeling a bit more optimistic and when you finally see some good it makes you feel more positive to face the days. Lets hope it stays this way.
Monday 5 October 2015
Ftmob 05/10/2015
Hey readers,
Hope your keeping well, I have some great snippets this week so here goes:-
- On the bus with my eldest and he says REALLY loadly "where's daddy's muppet'. This comment is in reference to my husband the day before in the car calling a driver a Muppet as they did not indicate ands pull straight of a junction.
- When we are in the lift (we live in tower block) and a really tall man gets in and my son repeatedly says "that man is really tall, why is that man really tall!" Yes this made me cringe and kids are far too honest sometimes, haha!
- When we were having paella the other week my son tells hubby "I like peas now daddy".
- Now if we tell my eldest we haven't got the money for something my son responds and says, "I've got money in my piggy bank mummy". I can confirm that yes there is money in the piggy bank but sadly only full of twos/ones and five pees. Lol!
- My youngest saw a fly come through the window and he says "buzzzzzz"
- My hubby has two different songs connected to two different alarm times on his phone each being the music artist Moby. So I put a Moby video on YouTube for my son as he requested so sweetly and he comments and obsesses for days and asked a lot, "why is Moby bauld like you Daddy". Haha!
- When I state anything my DS1 things he already knows he replies, "yeah I know". Very little Britain style ;)
- My son refers to anything star shape as " twinkle twinkle little star ".
Sunday 4 October 2015
Migraine
I was dubious to write this as I feel really paranoid about what I write at the moment. I don't know why I just really conscious of what I write about. I don't know if I am the only one who feels like this. Obviously I don't write about personal stuff to me. However, I do try to be authentic even though sometimes I sound like a d**k!
I worry I moan too much but on the other hand this is my space and it is good to moan on here and use as a vent rather then maybe more.negative ways like eating chocolate, haha.
Anyhow sorry about the ramble. I just tend to write about the first things that pop into my brain.
Thank you for reading and hope you have a good week X
Thursday 1 October 2015
Outdoors
As you are probably aware we have been blessed with a few days of sunshine and warmth. Obviously, being British weather you have to cease the moment.
Therefore we have been exploring local parks, including a new one which was refreshing to have new scenery. We also had lovely crisp walks crunching the leaves and even having the odd ice cream.
Thursday 24 September 2015
Upheaval
My boy had his birthday and just feel like time is going to fast. I want to stop it but I need to accept that is.the nature of life. I keep reminding myself that it is what it is and that somethings are out of my control and that what is important to mu health is tocalm down and just enjoy the moment. This is always probably going to be a big challenge to me. It is so hard to relax as a parent especially when there is so much noise goqong on in your head.
Some days I don't know whether I am coming or going and other days run smoothly. It is hard work being a parent and trying to get it right and not screw it up too much. Argh.
Anyhow, I feel hormonal tight now so that makes a bit more tricky. Hopefully with some quiet time at the weekend things will pan out more better for me. Sorry for the chaoticness in my writing but this is how I have been feeling this week. Fingers crossed next week I will be a bit more calmer.
Wednesday 23 September 2015
Selection of chat with the boys
Hey readers,
Gathered up a selection of the finest chat with the toddlers, haha. Here goes:-
- My son running around like a helicopter pretending and saying 'emergency, emergency, crash'. You can imagine it arms out doing this down isles, parks anywhere really. You got love kids imagination!
- I ask my eldest how old will he be when he has his birthday? 'Mummy I will be four next' so cute and so proud to inform me that, bless.
- My eldest informs me with such urgency, 'mummy, my shoes don't fit anymore and i need to get my feet measured as they are way too big'. Now I shall inform you that he made this decision when he overheard me talking to daddy and discussing the fact that we need to get the boys feet measured soon.
- I asked my eldest what he wants to do for the day and he responded by saying that he 'wants to go on a bouncealine'. Got to love the made up words kids create.
- My youngest son can now say a handful of words which include ballon, me please, book, shoes. Today was the first time he waved and said goodbye.
- My youngest is also in between babble and chat and loves making sounds. He has a geko cuddly toy and learnt from his older brother the sound of a dinosaur. He now is fixated with making this sound a lot which is ever so cute as it is such a gentle noice.
- My eldest has learnt the word YouTube and asks if he can a video on YouTube all nthe time. must be a very popular word for tots or I am a very bad parent, haha.
- My son spontaneously told me speed bumps go up and down and demonstrated with jumping up and down like a kangaroo.
- My youngest son pushes his play pushchair into living room and I followed him behind and my son turns around and says stop with his hand out, checky monkey!
Thursday 17 September 2015
Change
Friday 11 September 2015
Nursery
I am currently on a parentimg course to help mange the way I parent better. So I have incorporated a few changes such as putting less stimuli available for my eldest. This is because he finds it hard to wind down and therefore needs fewer distractions at night when he struggles the worst.
I have started with putting calming music on, toys away at a certain time, speaking whispers etc. We shall see how that goes as it is early days and I've honest it is hard work changing and trying to improve a situation especially have cognitive imparenments myself. Some days I wish there was a manual as it can be quite overwhelming for me.
I could not forget a big event happening in my life this week with my youngest going to nursery this week. He previously went to a different nursery before the summer hoildays but did not get the funding. This time we have found some funding which is great. He absolutely loves it and has settled in really well with no tears or anything. He used to the building as brother goes there and has already been in a similar setting which is a Bonus. I just caught him today without his knowledge and it is lovely to watch and see how independent and how happy he is.
Cheers for reading X
Friday 4 September 2015
Greedy
Half term
Thursday 3 September 2015
Relaxing
This week was the return for my son to nursery and at first he was really down. This is because it is kinda new for him as he is in a new room with different children and workers. However. that did not last long as when I went to collect him he found his spring which I don't think it was influenced by being able to do tons of painting ;)
I love September as I feel this time of year has a sense of calm maybe because it is cooler time of year, people feel more relaxed. Alternatively, I may just associate these feelings with my childhood or maybe I don't have to completely intensively have to look after my child. Not that don't love my child but it is bloody hard work when they are young and don't get a break
Cold
Hey readers,
My word of the week is:
Cold
It just seems to be me but in my household I am freezing even when the sunshine is out. Though can't moan too much as it has been beautiful and I have enjoyed getting out and snapping some beautiful sunsets. Which is probably good as hubby is rearranging wires and moving furniture around . The kitchen and living room is chaos. I hate mess and disruption. I dont know how other people copy with it but it leaves me feeling irritated and powerless. I think I am a control freak and like order. I hate it when things are not in order and a mess. Though I have been colouring more as a result to help distress me and take my mind away from the sawdust floor. On a positive note we had a Chinese and oh my word have not had one for a long time but it was amazing and thr added benefit of not having to worry about cooking.
I have also joined a course to teach me the skills to be mindfu. I can't promise I will be chilled and less anxious . still I am willing to learn anything that might help me be more relaxed.
Hope you have a good week!
Cheers for reading X
Monday 31 August 2015
Under my nose
Friday 21 August 2015
Sleepy
I think this because of returning from holiday and being blessed with a cold, boo!
I find it so hard to get back into a routine especially when you have double the amount of washing. Not to mention having to prepare dinners. How irritating and I already miss being on holiday. As when we were away we went out most of the time or opted for really easy meals. God I hate cooking when it is something I have to do. The rebel inside me says Nooooo and feel.so confined with it feeling like a chore!
Still at least I got to catch up on admin with my blog, which is always blessing.
Another celebration is getting through the fifth week of summer holidays. Can you believe it, it has gone so fast. Reflecting back just before my sons broke up from nursery I dreaded how I was going to get through the intense period. But some how you just get into the routine and things juss fly past.
I am a bit sad though as just found found out today my son will not be returning to nursery. This is because they could not have the funding for my youngest nursery placement but I am not dwelling on it too much as he will start in January as he will be.entitled to his two year funding. However, part of me is happy as I get to spend more one on one time with my boy. This gives me a change to explore different places with him without being restricted to getting him to nursery and collecting him.
Now all I can think of is my bed and sleep: D
Wednesday 12 August 2015
Wednesday 5 August 2015
Light
The responsibility has gone,I feel lighter,Knowing it is out,now I weight,With nothing else,To do.