Hey readers,
My word of the week is
Happy
Knowing that we are coming to a half term and a breakis well needed here. I break from the mayhem of getting the my little boy to nursery is making me want to punch the air . I didn't think it be so tiring picking up and dropping off.but then for someone who struggles socially and the fact that their is no social order with people wondering everywhere Inn the building causes me to panic. Put anxiety is very high knowing I have to go in the building each day and face the chaos to not have to think about it for a week sounds amazingly blissful.
I think that I am not the exception everyone in our household could do with a break and chill out. Everyone seems a bit more tired especially me and I am not looking forward to the clocks going back. Though I do like the darkness and candle light. God I feel old when all I think about is sleep.I have two important meetings next week and so a break just to get through them would help my autistic mind.l and.my aching bones.
I am finding it difficult with lots of new things happening that this October break with less pressure will do me the world.
Cheers for reading X
Friday 23 October 2015
Happy
Thursday 15 October 2015
A Bit Of This, A Bit Of That
Hey readers,
I have gathered even more chat over the last couple of weeks from the boys for you to enjoy:
So my son turned his arms out and spis around and apparently this is 'me being an electric windmill'. He has been obsessed with windmills ever since we went on holiday this year to Norfolk.
I love my sons replies whenever he realises he gets something wrong or mistaken he says "silly me mummy".
When daddy was sorting out DS1 breakfast one morning he was having toast and he said, " want honey on my toast daddy as it will make me super strong".
Daddy said to DS1 that he was really hot and my eldest responded by blowing him down with spit to call him down, lovely.
Anytime mummy is panicking or nervous my eldest reassurances me by saying "don't worry mummy".
My youngest is still making sounds and can say " ooth, Mr Oom" (Mr Bloom if you were wondering).
Daddy had a shandy homemade and he was telling mummy that he did not the strength of his drink and my son said matter of factly, " my brain knows how strong it is, it's a little bit strong".
Thanks for reading X
Energetic
Also, I hace signed up for a music class which has taken me awhile to have the courage to do due to slef dealting. But I took the pulge and signed up this week we shall see on the day how that goes.
I feel more motivated and good in myself which will always be a battle with my depression as I am always swinging that arrow from one mood to the next. The lesson I have leant when living with depression is that you appreciate the good days when I feel good and not so self doubting as a parent.
I've been calmer around the kiddos too and being more patient. I have been really working hard on my communication skills. I have had some good news with having a date set for a specialist parenting class as i have some difficults due to my autism. So I am feeling a bit more optimistic and when you finally see some good it makes you feel more positive to face the days. Lets hope it stays this way.
Monday 5 October 2015
Ftmob 05/10/2015
Hey readers,
Hope your keeping well, I have some great snippets this week so here goes:-
- On the bus with my eldest and he says REALLY loadly "where's daddy's muppet'. This comment is in reference to my husband the day before in the car calling a driver a Muppet as they did not indicate ands pull straight of a junction.
- When we are in the lift (we live in tower block) and a really tall man gets in and my son repeatedly says "that man is really tall, why is that man really tall!" Yes this made me cringe and kids are far too honest sometimes, haha!
- When we were having paella the other week my son tells hubby "I like peas now daddy".
- Now if we tell my eldest we haven't got the money for something my son responds and says, "I've got money in my piggy bank mummy". I can confirm that yes there is money in the piggy bank but sadly only full of twos/ones and five pees. Lol!
- My youngest saw a fly come through the window and he says "buzzzzzz"
- My hubby has two different songs connected to two different alarm times on his phone each being the music artist Moby. So I put a Moby video on YouTube for my son as he requested so sweetly and he comments and obsesses for days and asked a lot, "why is Moby bauld like you Daddy". Haha!
- When I state anything my DS1 things he already knows he replies, "yeah I know". Very little Britain style ;)
- My son refers to anything star shape as " twinkle twinkle little star ".
Sunday 4 October 2015
Migraine
I was dubious to write this as I feel really paranoid about what I write at the moment. I don't know why I just really conscious of what I write about. I don't know if I am the only one who feels like this. Obviously I don't write about personal stuff to me. However, I do try to be authentic even though sometimes I sound like a d**k!
I worry I moan too much but on the other hand this is my space and it is good to moan on here and use as a vent rather then maybe more.negative ways like eating chocolate, haha.
Anyhow sorry about the ramble. I just tend to write about the first things that pop into my brain.
Thank you for reading and hope you have a good week X
Thursday 1 October 2015
Outdoors
As you are probably aware we have been blessed with a few days of sunshine and warmth. Obviously, being British weather you have to cease the moment.
Therefore we have been exploring local parks, including a new one which was refreshing to have new scenery. We also had lovely crisp walks crunching the leaves and even having the odd ice cream.
Thursday 24 September 2015
Upheaval
My boy had his birthday and just feel like time is going to fast. I want to stop it but I need to accept that is.the nature of life. I keep reminding myself that it is what it is and that somethings are out of my control and that what is important to mu health is tocalm down and just enjoy the moment. This is always probably going to be a big challenge to me. It is so hard to relax as a parent especially when there is so much noise goqong on in your head.
Some days I don't know whether I am coming or going and other days run smoothly. It is hard work being a parent and trying to get it right and not screw it up too much. Argh.
Anyhow, I feel hormonal tight now so that makes a bit more tricky. Hopefully with some quiet time at the weekend things will pan out more better for me. Sorry for the chaoticness in my writing but this is how I have been feeling this week. Fingers crossed next week I will be a bit more calmer.
Wednesday 23 September 2015
Selection of chat with the boys
Hey readers,
Gathered up a selection of the finest chat with the toddlers, haha. Here goes:-
- My son running around like a helicopter pretending and saying 'emergency, emergency, crash'. You can imagine it arms out doing this down isles, parks anywhere really. You got love kids imagination!
- I ask my eldest how old will he be when he has his birthday? 'Mummy I will be four next' so cute and so proud to inform me that, bless.
- My eldest informs me with such urgency, 'mummy, my shoes don't fit anymore and i need to get my feet measured as they are way too big'. Now I shall inform you that he made this decision when he overheard me talking to daddy and discussing the fact that we need to get the boys feet measured soon.
- I asked my eldest what he wants to do for the day and he responded by saying that he 'wants to go on a bouncealine'. Got to love the made up words kids create.
- My youngest son can now say a handful of words which include ballon, me please, book, shoes. Today was the first time he waved and said goodbye.
- My youngest is also in between babble and chat and loves making sounds. He has a geko cuddly toy and learnt from his older brother the sound of a dinosaur. He now is fixated with making this sound a lot which is ever so cute as it is such a gentle noice.
- My eldest has learnt the word YouTube and asks if he can a video on YouTube all nthe time. must be a very popular word for tots or I am a very bad parent, haha.
- My son spontaneously told me speed bumps go up and down and demonstrated with jumping up and down like a kangaroo.
- My youngest son pushes his play pushchair into living room and I followed him behind and my son turns around and says stop with his hand out, checky monkey!
Thursday 17 September 2015
Change
Friday 11 September 2015
Nursery
I am currently on a parentimg course to help mange the way I parent better. So I have incorporated a few changes such as putting less stimuli available for my eldest. This is because he finds it hard to wind down and therefore needs fewer distractions at night when he struggles the worst.
I have started with putting calming music on, toys away at a certain time, speaking whispers etc. We shall see how that goes as it is early days and I've honest it is hard work changing and trying to improve a situation especially have cognitive imparenments myself. Some days I wish there was a manual as it can be quite overwhelming for me.
I could not forget a big event happening in my life this week with my youngest going to nursery this week. He previously went to a different nursery before the summer hoildays but did not get the funding. This time we have found some funding which is great. He absolutely loves it and has settled in really well with no tears or anything. He used to the building as brother goes there and has already been in a similar setting which is a Bonus. I just caught him today without his knowledge and it is lovely to watch and see how independent and how happy he is.
Cheers for reading X
Friday 4 September 2015
Greedy
Half term
Thursday 3 September 2015
Relaxing
This week was the return for my son to nursery and at first he was really down. This is because it is kinda new for him as he is in a new room with different children and workers. However. that did not last long as when I went to collect him he found his spring which I don't think it was influenced by being able to do tons of painting ;)
I love September as I feel this time of year has a sense of calm maybe because it is cooler time of year, people feel more relaxed. Alternatively, I may just associate these feelings with my childhood or maybe I don't have to completely intensively have to look after my child. Not that don't love my child but it is bloody hard work when they are young and don't get a break
Cold
Hey readers,
My word of the week is:
Cold
It just seems to be me but in my household I am freezing even when the sunshine is out. Though can't moan too much as it has been beautiful and I have enjoyed getting out and snapping some beautiful sunsets. Which is probably good as hubby is rearranging wires and moving furniture around . The kitchen and living room is chaos. I hate mess and disruption. I dont know how other people copy with it but it leaves me feeling irritated and powerless. I think I am a control freak and like order. I hate it when things are not in order and a mess. Though I have been colouring more as a result to help distress me and take my mind away from the sawdust floor. On a positive note we had a Chinese and oh my word have not had one for a long time but it was amazing and thr added benefit of not having to worry about cooking.
I have also joined a course to teach me the skills to be mindfu. I can't promise I will be chilled and less anxious . still I am willing to learn anything that might help me be more relaxed.
Hope you have a good week!
Cheers for reading X
Monday 31 August 2015
Under my nose
Friday 21 August 2015
Sleepy
I think this because of returning from holiday and being blessed with a cold, boo!
I find it so hard to get back into a routine especially when you have double the amount of washing. Not to mention having to prepare dinners. How irritating and I already miss being on holiday. As when we were away we went out most of the time or opted for really easy meals. God I hate cooking when it is something I have to do. The rebel inside me says Nooooo and feel.so confined with it feeling like a chore!
Still at least I got to catch up on admin with my blog, which is always blessing.
Another celebration is getting through the fifth week of summer holidays. Can you believe it, it has gone so fast. Reflecting back just before my sons broke up from nursery I dreaded how I was going to get through the intense period. But some how you just get into the routine and things juss fly past.
I am a bit sad though as just found found out today my son will not be returning to nursery. This is because they could not have the funding for my youngest nursery placement but I am not dwelling on it too much as he will start in January as he will be.entitled to his two year funding. However, part of me is happy as I get to spend more one on one time with my boy. This gives me a change to explore different places with him without being restricted to getting him to nursery and collecting him.
Now all I can think of is my bed and sleep: D
Wednesday 12 August 2015
Wednesday 5 August 2015
Light
The responsibility has gone,I feel lighter,Knowing it is out,now I weight,With nothing else,To do.
Tuesday 4 August 2015
Chat from the boys
Hey readers,
It's a new week and here is my recent collection of funny chat from my son or milestone regarding speech.
- When my support worked comes to see me my eldest instantly knows it relates to me and my well being. He makes it very clear that 'I'm going look after mummy'.
- When my eldest does not like something or does not want to do the requests from other he says 'no,no,no,no,no,no' cue x10000 times!
- Every time we tell my eldest something he responds by saying 'yeah I know' in a very typical Little Britain style or like a three year old going on on 13 with an attitude.
- The other day when we come back from shopping and walking home my son stubbornly says to to me 'I can carry my owl, umbrella and the cheese for daddy '. Refusing any help even though he is blatantly struggling. When did kids Get so independent hey!
- So I am drawing around the silhouette of my son's thumb and he responds very grown up saying 'that is perfect mummy', I feel proud because I have my son's seal of approval, I'm winning!
- On the bus full of people and the bus driver drives past Ikea and my son shouts out mega loud 'mummmmmy, I want to go to Ikea'. Honest I don't own him ;)
- When my son finishes his meal I say to him are you full and he responds by saying 'all my food in my tummy and it is going to make me be very big and strong'.
- When I was out with my sons at the park I let my youngest be free to wonder and he runs straight to the ice cream van, turns to me smiles and points and says 'meeeeeeeeeee' clearly letting me know he wants one thing and one thing only!
- With my eldest when we were chatting he says mummy you not got a Willy and then he pretends to magically provide me with one and says I give you a willy on your tummy'. Thanks son just what I have always wanted.
- Finally my youngest has now managed to say mummy but not to sure how I feel mixed with loriud and omg that's it now I am going hear two lkoads of mummmmmy, haha!
Thursday 23 July 2015
chaos
Hope your enjoying or surviving the first week of summer holidays. My week I feel is chaos. As much as I love spending time with my children it can be quite difficult managing intense periods of togetherness. I'm lucky though that my son can spend periods of time playing by himself but my youngest is quite clingy plus my hubby is working long hours to fix our car as the clutch is going. So, it feels more tiring especially now that the routine has been pulled away. It is hard for me to replace a new schedule into our lives in the beginning. I am autistic and therefore this is one thing that as a parent i should manage but for me personally it is the biggest challenge to deal with change. But slowly getting to grips of adapting though I never thought shopping would take as long with a toddler that toddles behind! When I feel dread over some aspact if parenting I also try to remember to take baby steps and try not to focus on the bigger picture. But on the positive we have more free time to explore days out without having to rely on structure and we can be a bit more impulse or have the odd late night. That is the fun side of sumner holidayd and creating memories.
Have a great week X
Tuesday 14 July 2015
ftmob 14/07/2015
Hey readers,
So here is some snipets of quotes delivered by my sons this week but bear in mind my youngest is more one worded jargon at the moment!
So, I everyday as an activity with my DS1 complete a weather chart and we go through what the day is, date, month and what the weather has to bring during the day. So on Monday I try to motivate my son to take part in this activity and with his toy in one hand whilst walking away from me replies "sorry mummy I am too busy". He is getting such a checky humour later I just can't help myself from laughing out loud. He certainly does make me smile!
At nursery my son has been learning all about caterpillars and how they transform into beautiful butterflies, yes we have read the hungry caterpillar several times. My son finds this subject very interesting as he demonstrates this phenomenon to me by telling me that, "caterpillars turn into flutterbyes". He further demonstrates this to me by getting his hands flat and spread out together and flutters therm vastly like your typical butterfly does.
When at nursery a member of staff asked what does my son not like and he responded by saying, "potatoes". This is interesting as he loves chips and roast potatoes, haha!
Now moving on to my DS2 and when wanting him to give me the toy from his hand the refused and even directly asking him, "please may mummy have that toy?" In response as crystical clear says "no!!!!". He has started to form such a big personslity for someone sdo small and has totally transforming especially now that he is less jargon like and moving on to sounds and even the odd word. There will be trouble soon as I can see augments between both my sons trying to get the first word in, eek!
Thanks for reading my round up of the week X
Friday 10 July 2015
Acceptasnce
Hey readers,
Hope your keeping well. This week has gone so fast that I have only noticed that today is Friday, where does time go, I'm getting old!
Anyhow, to sum up my week in a word would be
Tuesday 7 July 2015
Secondary Primary Caregiver
Friday 3 July 2015
slow
Hey readers,
My word of the week is slow.
This heat is making me go sloooooow but been enjoying my relaxed state of mood. I have just been really happy sitting on the balcony catching sone rays whilst the boys argue over who's turn it is to go on the scooter, teehee. And generally not having lot of energy to much other then lick a couple!e of twisters!
This sunshine has made me walk that little bit slower and just take in the moment around me and even though I live in the city of concrete I am surrounded by beauty, yes I did say that. It is good to not be a hurry from to time and just be one with ambience which has been much more chilled amoungst the hustle and hustle of city life!
I havs also enjoyed the cooler evenings as I get to spend time with my hubby and try to use the internet less and not get stuck in a cycle. I will reduce that now as I have just got my new phone in in the post, whoop. Meaning I can spread my useage out during the day and not so much rushing around in the evening.
Thursday 2 July 2015
From the words of my son
Hey readers,
Hope your enjoying the heat wave and not melting away too much.
I love the concept of asking questions and only seen the idea on the internet a few weeks ago and why didn't think of it earlier I do not know. I definately recommend asking questions to your little ones as it really is insightful to understand their psyche. I also found asking questions has shown me the progress of my son's journey with hid speech. My son has got a speech delay and has already completed three rounds of speech therapy. I have to say we have seen massive improvements so asking questions has made me so proud of my little boy. Not just that but how far he has come in constructing sentences cohesively and well thought out answer when asking the more the in depth ones he doesn't immediately reply but takes time out to think about the question and what it means for him. There was a time in his younger days where he would just give you the answer you want and yeah he sometimes does that when he is tired or lazy still now. Asking quedtions has shown me that he is being his own little person with his own personality. He also can think for himself on his own two feet. That my readers makes me feel so proud and kinda emotional in a good way to see his transformation. It only feels like yesterday when he was born and struggling to breathe by himself. Now in 2015 I see a funny and strong minded little boy that I can call mine.
Anyhows that is enough of the mush here are the questions and answers, enjoy.
What is your favourite colour? Blue
What is your favourite toy? Nee- nor (his fire engine toy).
What is your favourite fruit? Apple or banana
What is your favourite TV show? Naughty man walk the blank (AKA swashbuckle)
What us your favourite thing to eat at lunchtime? Chips and brown sauce
What is your favourite thing piece of clothing? Fireman Sam tee-shirt
What is your favourite game? nee-nors (racing cars round his road map rug)
What is your favourite animal? Oink oink
What is your favourite song? Twinkle twinkle little star chocolate bar
What is your favourite book? That is not my robot
What is your favourite drunk? Mummy bubbles (on the odd occasion)
What do you cuddle at night? Miffy, care bear and Lilly (his pink bear be got from hospital)
What is your favourite thing to do outside? Skipping
What is your favourite sport? Skipping
What do you want to be when you grow up? An adult
What is the best thing about being a kid? Playing on my scooter
What makes you happy? Daddy
What do you like to Gert when you go to Sainsbury's? Ice cream, I like ice cream, ice cream is my favourite!
How old is daddy? 62
How old is mummy? 68 (cheers son!)
How old are you? 3
How old is your brother? 1
Are you a girl or boy? Boy
Is daddy a girl or boy? Boy
Is your brother a girl or boy? Boy
Is mummy a girl or boy? Boy (says with a checky smile and changes it for girl)
Fearless, strong, independent son
Thank you for reading X
Thursday 18 June 2015
Busy
Friday 5 June 2015
Pain
Wednesday 20 May 2015
Autumn
Thursday 14 May 2015
heart ache
Monday 11 May 2015
I'm wide awake.
Tuesday 28 April 2015
Friday 24 April 2015
Waiting
Tuesday 21 April 2015
checking
Tuesday 7 April 2015
my heart aches
Sunday 31 August 2014
Waiting, wanting
Tuesday 26 August 2014
shouty mummy
Monday 21 July 2014
where to begin
Tuesday 8 July 2014
waiting
Tuesday 1 July 2014
My Moment
Monday 16 June 2014
i wonder where
Tuesday 3 June 2014
physical attraction
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