Ways to improve your mental health

Hey readers,

I have spent a large proportion of my life living and battling mental health problems.

 I have experienced anxiety, depression, and OCD. 

So, I for one know how hard it is to manage and get on with living your life when you have hurdles to overcome.

 Here are some of the ways in which I try to help improve my mental health and as I am writing this may be helpful to you the reader.

Learn to be kinder to yourself.

This one is an ongoing problem that I struggle with putting into place, as over the years I have learnt to put myself down therefore it is much harder job to be nice to myself. I understand that this takes time so stick with it! 

 It is easy to batter yourself with the negativity especially when you're dealing with trauma. 

That said one of the ways you can do something positive in your life is to learn to be kinder to yourself. 

I bet if the situation was turned to a loved one I bet you wouldn't speak to them the way you speak to yourself. 

You can change behaviour though it takes time but needs to be practising to do so.

Take time out.

One of the best things for me when I am struggling is having time out to myself. 

 For me, I like to go for a walk with my headphones on. It makes me switch off from what is happening and just go somewhere else other than the situation I am in.

Set realistic goals. 

Goals are brilliant - they help give focus and something to aim for. 

However, the one thing that can occur for people is making goals that are too unrealistic and less likely over time to struggle to stay focused and reach their goal.

 So, when you do consider making goals have a big goal but then make micro-goals to help along the way to achieve that big goal.

 Another thing to take on board to reward yourself with something when you have reached a small goal.

 This will make you feel good and make you want to continue to the next level of achieving that goal.

See the positives. 

As a person who sees the world with an empty cup of water, it can be so hard to see the positives, sometimes you got to wing it until you make it.

 What I mean by that statement is that you have to force yourself to see the positives, write them down and find something even if it is getting out of the bed in the morning, that is progress.

 Habits are hard to break so get into forcing yourself to write down three positives a day, over time this will become easier to do.

Break up the monotony. 

Life can be boring at times so that is why it is important to do something now again that breaks that samey samey up. 

You don't have to spend a fortune you could go to the local park and have a picnic. 

It is refreshing to do something different now and again as it allows you to have something to look forward to.

What things have helped improve your mental health?

Cheers for reading X

my Sunday photo 26/01/2020

Stuck in a thought.

Don't go hating me,

It is just in my mind, 

My thoughts

Want to lie to me,

Destroy me,

One thought at a time.

2 Easy ways to clean a microwave.

Hey readers,

I know in my home the microwave gets used a lot and mainly for warming up coffee, the joys of parenthood. 

Anyways it can be quite hard if you don't know how to clean a microwave. So here are some easy ways to clean up your microwave whilst not making too much of an effort but still getting a good result at the end of the day.

 Plus these cleaning hacks are really quick as I myself haven't got all the time to clean and nor do I want to, so this is a great time-saving idea.

1. White distilled vinegar and boiled water. 

 This first method does not only get tough food to soften and wipe down easily but also helps to sterilise your microwave and get rid of bad smells. 

* You will need microwave bowl, 1/2 distilled white vinegar and 1 cup of water.

* Add the vinegar and water into the bowl and place it into the microwave. 

* Heat on a high temperature for 2.5 minutes - or until you see the bowl boiling and the mixture giving off steam. 

* Best to live the mixture in the microwave for 15-20 minutes giving the bowl of the mixture to cool down. 

* Carefully take out the mixture and glass plate (you can clean this separately in the kitchen sink and return it to the microwave once dried). 

* Then get a clean, damp cloth to wipe over the microwave and with using the cleaning mixture means that you won't have to scrub to get the leftover remnants in the microwave making the job of cleaning the microwave a lot easier for you. 

2. Lemon.

Another cheap way to clean the microwave is to simply use a lemon (you don't have to spend an arm and a leg on expensive cleaning products as they tell you on Instagram).

* You will need a microwave bowl and put in 1/2 a cup of measuring water into the bowl. 

* Next slice the lemon, squeeze the juice into the water and place the two halves of lemon into the bowl. 

* Place the bowl in the centre of the microwave and put it on for 3 minutes. 

* Let that stand for a good five minutes to allow the solution to cool down. Plus this will give the food in the microwave time to soften down with the steam from the solution. 

* Take the microwave plate in the sink to clean.

* Then get a cloth and wipe down the insides of the microwave and also the door and outside area of the microwave.

* If there are some stubborn spots then what you can do is take the cloth dip it into the solution to help scrub and break down the stubborn food. 

* Replace the glass plate back into the microwave. 

This trick with cleaning with lemon does not only clean and smell amazing after but it is environmentally friendly too but so win-win all round. 

What do you think about these microwave cleaning hacks? Do you use them or do you have a good hack that I haven't shared? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below. 

Cheers for reading X 

my Sunday photo 19/01/2020

My eldest was super happy to take his friend to the cinema to watch Star Wars. 

Age is a wonderful thing

Hey readers,

People knock being old, for fear mainly. However, age happens to everyone. So, let's celebrate it because it can be wonderful for many reasons and here is why.

With age, you become more confident because you have lived on this planet longer and you know what the crack is. 

You know most people put up a front and you learn to not give a s**t in some respects. 

You change and you learn to grow into a different person, with different needs. With age you slowly don't give a monkey's about peer pressure, you can wear what you want, listen to what you want and it doesn't matter who you know because you can do your own thing.

Now that I have become older I care less about materialistic things that were much more important when I was younger. Not because of money more the fact I put more meaning on to them.

You are wiser with age and have learnt more so you have that experience. Which comes in handy sometimes as we all know knowledge is power.

I think we age certainly with myself I am less likely to judge. I am much more understanding and flexible with my thinking, understanding that people are different.

Let's celebrate wrinkles as positive because they indicate that we have lived, experienced and still here to tell the tale.

 If we stopped worrying so much about looking younger then the messages would slowly stop with trying to get us to buy wrinkle cream and botox which incidentally doesn't work but make most people look awful and permanently in shock.

The fewer people buy into this stuff that is trying to sell some crap message about looking youthful the better. The less demand for a product the less likely a need to sell it. 

I like the fact I can get to see my children grow as I get older. I don't fear it or get sad but happy and feel blessed that they are alive. As so many parents don't get this opportunity.

What reasons do you have to why ageing is good?

Cheers for reading X

Tiredness and autism

Hey readers,

Did I ever tell you that I like order? if you have previously read my blog then you will know I am a lover of control.

I am not the spontaneous type. I like planning and knowing what to expect. Which is ironic as my husband is the complete opposite and yes there are heated arguments at times.

 No one wins, I just go to bed and say f*ck it! I have little energy. Unless my autistic brain goes into overdrive when my husband will be treated to a full-on meltdown. joy!

I sometimes see parents and I know we shouldn't compare but I do believe that it is innate from our ancestors as a technique to help stay on top of survival. 

However, in this day and age, it is now used overboard, yes that does includes me too.

I see people have days packed with things to do with the family. 

Someone I know even when to a country park for 5 hours, me I couldn't do it. My autistic brain gets tired with so many stimuli I am exhausted and mentally and physically after an hour or two.

 Hats of to parents who can keep kids entertained but most mornings I can't get my body to move as I am so tired. It doesn't help that I am on medication that makes me very groggy.

I yet again feel rubbish about myself, yep it is a common theme where I batter myself with nasties because in my head I am not enough to be a parent.

I know this is ridiculousness but when you are in the moment and your anxiety is sky high your brain will trick you into believing it. 

It feels real and that takes up a hell of a lot of energy. I spend most of the time cursing and wishing I didn't have autism.

I try to do crafts with the boy, I can barely reach the first instruction without me failing. I am rubbish at instructions and if they are not basic and when I say basic I mean it. It is something about reading and processing the information that gets muddles up in my messy mind. 

Guess what here we go again I beat myself up because I can't do the simplest of things at times. My intentions are good but sometimes I just get fed up with myself that I wonder why do I bother because I love my son and what to do things for him.

So yeah it is another whingeing post but this is my life as an autistic parent (a parent with autism) and the struggles are very real. It may only be small but they soon stack up and it takes its toll on you. 

It can grind you down day in day out faced with challenges and how to overcome the challenges. So, you can understand why I get so worn out, it is hard work trying to navigate through a neurotypical world with autism. 

This is especially true for an adult with autism as people assume you have grown out of autism when you reach adulthood. By the way yes that is a true story and that comment has been said to me before

Cheers for reading X

65 Instagram captions to fall in love with this Febuary.

Hey readers,

February is the month of love so what better way to show someone affection with words. Here I have picked 65 amount of February themed captions to help you with making that post extra special on Instagram.

Full quotes.

1. "He was Christmas morning, crimson fireworks, and birthday wishes." — Raquel Franco.

2. "I feel there is nothing more artistic than to love people." — Vincent van Gogh.

3. "We loved with a love that was more than love." — Edgar Allen Poe.

4. "Life's a journey, to find the people weird like you." — Atticus.

5.  "What is done in love, is done well." — Vincent van Gogh.

6.  "That's who you really like. The people you can think out loud in front of." — John Green.

7. "Some people are worth melting for." — Olaf, Frozen.

8. "The real lover is the man that can thrill you by kissing your forehead." — Marilyn Monroe.

9. "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." — Winnie the Pooh.

10. "Where there is love, there is life." — Mahatma Gandhi.

11. "If you only have one smile in you, give it to the people you love." — Maya Angelou.

12. "You can't blame gravity for falling in love." — Albert Einstein.

Cute captions. 

13. I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend.

14. Cupid called, he wants his arrow back.

15. I love to love you.

16. You make my heart smile.

17. Pretty sure I love you more.

18. You're still the one.

19. You feel like home.

Single person captions. 

20. Happy Valentine's Day to me. I love you.

21. If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something.

 22. Happy Drink-Wine-and-Eat-Chocolate-Alone Day!

23. Thank u, next.

24. Reminder: All candy will be 50% off tomorrow.

25. Dear Cupid: Forget the guy, just send the candy.

26. Here's to my true love: Pizza.

27. Being single on Valentine's Day is so much better than dating someone who would buy you a drugstore teddy bear.

28. All of me...loves all of me.

Funny captions.

    29.  [Employee]'s favourite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch ... S/he calls it lunch.

30. I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.

       31. We tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of our lives!

32. There are 16-year-olds competing at the Olympics and some of us still push on "pull" doors.

33. Namast'ay in bed.

34. That awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and you can't do it.

35. I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a cupcake.

36. What if we told you ... you can eat without posting it on Instagram?

37. We know the voices in our heads aren't real, but sometimes their ideas are just too good to ignore.

38. We don't know what's tighter: Our jeans or our company culture.

39. Friday ... Our second-favorite F word. 

40. We don't care what people think of us. Unless they're our customers. We definitely care what customers think of us.

41. All you need is love ... and investors. All you need is love and investors.

42. Hi, we're [company name]. We build amazing apps and eat amazing apps.

Clever captions.

43. Patience -- what you have when there are too many witnesses.

    44. Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's the Clarendon filter.

    45. "Life is short." False -- it's the longest thing you do.

          

     46. Happy Sunday! There may be no excuse

 for laziness, but [I'm/we're] still looking.

47. Rejection is just redirection.

48. Better an "oops" than a "what if."

49. You have stolen a pizza our hearts.

       50. The world is changed by your example, not your opinion.

          51. Seven billion smiles and these are our favourites.

52. Stop working hard and start working smart.

       53. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When [company name] gives you [type of product], you make money.

        54. Imposter complex is just a byproduct of success.

55. Life is simple. It's just not easy.

         56. The best times begin at the end of your comfort zone.

57. When nothing goes right, go left.

  Sassy captions.

         58. What's a queen without her king? Historically speaking, more powerful.

               59. We're an acquired taste. If you don't like us, acquire some taste. 

    60. Well-behaved people don't make it into history books.

61. Be sunshine mixed with a little hurricane 

        62. We got 99 problems, but an awesome marketing team ain't one.

        63. Sometimes you just need to do a thing called "what you want."

     64. You can't do epic stuff with lame people. And we got the best in the biz. 

      65. It's not called being bossy, it's called having leadership skills.

Cheers for reading X 

My Sunday photo 12/01/2020

why I am against smacking children

Hey readers,

The Association of Educational Psychologists said that they want to ban parents from smacking children at home.

Smacking is banned in schools however parents can smack their child at home as long as it is deemed reasonable.

I 100% agree that smacking anywhere should be banned because it is physical violence regardless of the amount of strength you do it. 

I don't see how children learn from being smacked by their parents, all it does is make them lie better. To me, that is not good for anyone.

I don't think children learn from smacking if anything I think it can have an impact on their mental health and increase the chances of anxiety. This is because they will be scared in the case at any moment the risk of doing anything wrong and that to have negative consequences.

Having this form of violence (in my eyes) can make a child feel really sad. This can make their home life feel crap because of knowing that if they do anything wrong regardless of it was intentionally an accident there is the risk they get hit.

I think hitting is a negative way to parent and it doesn't solve any problems. It is much better to have other ways to teach the child right from wrong.

If children learn from their parents then they will believe that it is ok to hit someone and then there is the risk that they too may one day hit another person.

I don't think it is fair that someone bigger then the child can go along and imitate and inflict pain on another. When will it stop, how will it end if it continues where do parents draw the line? 

How do you know if the parent gets fed up and thinks well got to hit the child harder to get the message through? 

This situation can escalate in a very toxic homelife impacting on the child's mental health and other areas such as education.

I think if you want to earn respect from a child it doesn't work if you hit them if anything it could result in the child-hating the parent.

 It certainly wouldn't want them to come to the parent and talk about any concerns they may have, as they don't know how the parent will respond. Then this may cause a negative relationship between the child and parent, that can be damaging for the child.

I myself have been in similar situations and there is nothing worse as a child when you are petrified of going home to the horrible environment. You literally are scared and anxious at school. 

The anxiety gets worse closer to the end of the day. For me, I couldn't probably concentrate on my school work because I was filled with dread and worried if I had done anything wrong therefore leading to being hit. 

It is the most horrible feeling in the world. The anxiety doesn't just stop there it carries on all the time constant in the background. It is horrible to live like that and that is why I want smacking banned in the home.

What are your views on smacking? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below. 

Cheers for reading X

50 things to do on a no spend weekend.

Hey readers,

If you haven't heard of no spend weekend it is basically what it says in the name where you set the challenge of the weekend to not spend a penny other then going for a wee ;). 

There are several different noes spend challenges ranging from one day, weekend, a whole month and if your feeling a brave a whole year (hats of to you people who have achieved a no spend for a whole year not sure I could stick it out that long). 

The idea of the no spend is to stop you from spending money basically automatic times and it really does make you stop and think about your consumptions. It also reminds life doesn't always have to be about money. You can also save money and get you thinking in that frameset. 

In this post, I have put down 50 ideas of things you can do on a no spend.
Jo

1) Organise and plan your future money. 

2) Volunteer your time.

3) Watch movies.

4) Help your kid/s with their homework.

5) Start a blog.

6) Try geocaching.

7) Try a board game.

8) Draw and paint. 

9) Make greeting cards.

10) Visit local free museums.

11) Read.

12) Visit a park.

13) Clean the house.

14) Do some baking.

15) Cook something new.

16) Spend some quality time with a partner. 

17) Assess your goals.

18) Start a diary.

19) Catch up on the news.

20) Colour in.

21) Read.

22) Sleep. 

23) Make a to-do list. 

24) Have a bath.

25) Organise your wardrobe.

26) Sell stuff on eBay.

27) Teach yourself origami.

28) Watch a ted talk. 

29) Go for a walk. 

30) Go to the library.

31) Write a  letter to a friend from far away.

32) Make a vision board.

33) Go for a picnic. 

34) People watch.

35) Listen to some podcasts. 

36) Play Pokemon Go.

37) Stargaze.

38) Cloud watching. 

39) Scrapbooking. 

40) Host a dinner party.

41) Attend a free community festival. 

42) Practice yoga.

43) Have a cup of coffee and relax.

44) Think about ways to earn extra income. 

45) Go fly a kite.

46) Collect rocks, paint them and hide them for someone else to find. 

47) Reorganise cd/DVD collection. 

48) Declutter your wardrobe. 

49) Check out trending videos on youtube. 

50) Built a fort with the kids. 

What free activities do you like to do? I love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

my Sunday photo 05/01/2020

How to wait patiently.

Hey readers,

Let's face it there will be many a time where we will have to face waiting patiently, whether we like it or not sometimes it has to be done. So, here are my tips to help manage the frustration of waiting and how you can get through the waiting process.

1. Distractions. 

Of course with modern technology, most people will have a smartphone on them in some form of the description. What better way to kill some time whether it be playing a game, checking your email or watching small youtube your smartphone is a great companion when waiting around for some time to kill. 

2. Others. 

Another great time killer is having someone you know to wait with you to keep you company and you can talk before you know it your time is up. 

3. Breathing.

If you're really feeling frustrated and unpaitient then try some deep breaths and focus on your breathing and using all your lungs is key whilst waiting. This can help calm your mind and reduce the tension from having to wait around. 

4. Imagination. 

Sometimes it is good to stop whatever you're doing and just let go. Allow your imagination to take hold and get lost in your thoughts you will be amazed at how fast time goes when you emerge your self in your own thoughts.

5. Mindfulness. 

Mindfulness is a great tool to master as it can help reduce stress by focusing on things other than the stress or frustration you are under such as waiting in a queue. By having that free time allows you to focus on your environment - whether it be listening to the noises, focusing on the colours or even paying attention to your feet how they feel against your footwear, are they tired do they feel heavy. Making sure you spend some time on each aspect can be rather relaxing and help reduce the frustration of having to wait in a queue. 

6. Acceptance. 

Sometimes accepting the situation for what it is and knowing that it will end with time is allowing the situation to happen and not get stressed about. Letting go of the anger or annoyance can actually be more beneficial and you can feel ready to stand in the queue because it has a purpose and that you are mentally ready to take on the challenge. By viewing the situation as something that you can control and seeing it a more positive light will mean attracting happier thoughts, therefore, in turn making the situation much more manageable. 

7. Delayed gratification. 

Whilst waiting in a queue is frustrating changing your thought patterns of thinking queuing is a pain in the bum to thinking off queuing in terms of delayed gratification and that with the time you will benefit the situation of frustration to be lead on to the positive reward. 

What are your thoughts of queuing? How do you manage to deal with queing? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below. 

Cheers for reading X