Tiredness and autism

Hey readers,

Did I ever tell you that I like order? if you have previously read my blog then you will know I am a lover of control.

I am not the spontaneous type. I like planning and knowing what to expect. Which is ironic as my husband is the complete opposite and yes there are heated arguments at times.

 No one wins, I just go to bed and say f*ck it! I have little energy. Unless my autistic brain goes into overdrive when my husband will be treated to a full-on meltdown. joy!



I sometimes see parents and I know we shouldn't compare but I do believe that it is innate from our ancestors as a technique to help stay on top of survival. 

However, in this day and age, it is now used overboard, yes that does includes me too.
I see people have days packed with things to do with the family. 

Someone I know even when to a country park for 5 hours, me I couldn't do it. My autistic brain gets tired with so many stimuli I am exhausted and mentally and physically after an hour or two.

 Hats of to parents who can keep kids entertained but most mornings I can't get my body to move as I am so tired. It doesn't help that I am on medication that makes me very groggy.

I yet again feel rubbish about myself, yep it is a common theme where I batter myself with nasties because in my head I am not enough to be a parent.

I know this is ridiculousness but when you are in the moment and your anxiety is sky high your brain will trick you into believing it. 

It feels real and that takes up a hell of a lot of energy. I spend most of the time cursing and wishing I didn't have autism.

I try to do crafts with the boy, I can barely reach the first instruction without me failing. I am rubbish at instructions and if they are not basic and when I say basic I mean it. It is something about reading and processing the information that gets muddles up in my messy mind. 

Guess what here we go again I beat myself up because I can't do the simplest of things at times. My intentions are good but sometimes I just get fed up with myself that I wonder why do I bother because I love my son and what to do things for him.

So yeah it is another whingeing post but this is my life as an autistic parent (a parent with autism) and the struggles are very real. It may only be small but they soon stack up and it takes its toll on you. 

It can grind you down day in day out faced with challenges and how to overcome the challenges. So, you can understand why I get so worn out, it is hard work trying to navigate through a neurotypical world with autism. 

This is especially true for an adult with autism as people assume you have grown out of autism when you reach adulthood. By the way yes that is a true story and that comment has been said to me before

Cheers for reading X

3 Little Buttons

4 comments

  1. You have to do what's best for you and your family and I'm sure your kids love spending time with you. They don't need a Country Park or crafts to enjoy your company. #TwinklyTuesday

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  2. Empathise on many fronts. My situation is made worse as expected to home educate and don't seem to be able to engage my son and daughter in that regard and then I worry about their futures and beat myself up. We are so good at that. It is vital to not compare of course but then again so very hard to do. You help me and I am sure others. I just wish you gave yourself an easier time of it along the way #TwinklyTuesday

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  3. It is so hard feeling like you can't do things but remember you are different so the things you can do are different as well. Whilst a day out at the country park might be too much how about a quiet day out at a beach or in the woods (your favourite places)? As for instructions if they don't work for you try and find things that have video instructions or watch someone else first. I find when I am struggling it is easy to forget all the stuff you are good at. Having said that when tired life is very hard (my kiddo had me up for hours last night) #DreamTeam

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  4. As parents we all have things we can't do with our children, for whatever reason. please don't beat yourself up over it. Having CFS/fibro means that I'm constantly tired but I've started to make a joke of it with the kids now. I'm also no good in summer, if its hot I tend to stay inside (so spending all day at a country park would be a no from me too!). Thanks for linking up #twinklytuesday

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