50 Terribly British Quirks.

Hey readers,

Do you know that people who live outside the UK would look at some of the behaviour we do and think what the F? Where we would not bad an eyelid. So here are some fun things we do that are perfectly reasonable.

1. Using the term poorly. 
2. The weather is one of the main topics of conversation. 
3. Saying sorry to something that has happened even though you haven't even done something wrong.
4. Eating beans on toast.
5. Shouting your welcome when someone doesn't thank you for something you have done for them.
6. Finding a trolley in the supermarket you don't have to put a pound in.
7. Rearranging cups with letters in the store to form a swear word such as twat.
8. Complaining about how much Freddo chocolate costs.
9. Fish and chips at the seaside.
10. Dunking biscuits into your cup of tea.
11. Eating after eights before eight.
12. Exclaiming the idolism, "keep your hair on" with A strong accent.
13. Crisp sandwiches.
14. Clotted cream on a scone.
15. Marmite.
16. Biting the top of a walnut whip.
17. Sitting upstairs at the front of a double-decker bus.
18. Come dine with me on channel 4.
19. Being annoyed at someone posh on The Antique Roadshow and finding out the item is worth thousands of pounds.
20. Fish finger sandwiches.
21. Arguing over the correct pronunciation of scone.
22. A soggy bottom.
23. Arguing over how tea should be done correctly.
24. Grabbing a bargain.
25. Chip butty.
26. Overjoyed when the car park ticket machine is broke and the car park ticket is free.
27. Warming your socks on the radiator before putting them on. 
28. Listening to the weather forecast.
29. Socks with sandals. 
30. Queuing.
31. Staying in your pyjamas all day.
32. Stealing toiletries from the hotel you are staying at. 
33. Having hot chocolate with all the extras.
34. Sneaking your favourite chocolate bar out of the tin before anyone else does at Christmas.
35. A 99 ice cream.
36. Eating Nutella out of the jar. 
37. Buying yourself flowers. 
38. Weird celebrity crushes. 
39. Doing multiple Buzzfeed quizzes.
40. Eating the stash of sweets/chocolate that was Meant to be for the kids. 
41. Drinking juice directly from the carton. 
42. Watching Only Fools and Horses episode for the 1000th time. 
43. Watching dog and cat videos on youtube.
44. chips and gravy.
45. Ordering takeaway because you can't be bothered to cook.
46. Proving your partner wrong about something. 
47. Eating cereal for dinner. 
48. Listening to cheesy pop. 
49. Watching day time tv when your ill such as This Morning, Bargain Hunt or Homes Under the Hammer. 
50. Having breakfast in bed. 

Can you relate to any of these British quirks? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

my Sunday Photo 04/10/2020

 

50 items to flip

 Hey readers,

Looking for a way to earn a few quid on the side especially with Christmas around the corner then a good way to do this is by a method called flip. 

What does Flip mean?

It is a term originated from America but to but it simply you buy something at a small cost and go on to sell it for a profit. 

Types of places to buy goods are:

• Chruch sales
• Auctions
• Charity shops 
• Library/university sales
• Car boots
• Markets
• Wholesalers.

Then what you do is simply place the item on money selling app such as eBay, Facebook market, gum tree etc and then increase value for its worth. 

Make sure photos are crisp, getting loads of photos so the buyer and clearly see the product. Give information about the product if it is used or new etc can help get a good sale. 

Of course, if you are doing this long term which some people do. I don't personally just the odd thing here and there but you will need to think about buying items in bulk such as bubble wrap, paper, sellotape, envelopes and even the best deal with delivery. 

It is important to do your research if you want to do this long time. Nonetheless, you chose what you want to put in of course it could be the odd item.  

You definitely need time as it is work to put all the information together, making sure the item is a good condition and getting items posted. 

Anyhow, I have come up with 50 items which are brilliant for getting a good sell and it helps to have something in mind to look for when out in a charity shop or similar.

 

50 top-selling items to flip on selling sites to make a profit. 

1. Vintage VHS horror. 
2. Cashmere anything.
3. New and used shoes. 
4. Old gaming systems. 
5. Car parts. 
6. Bicycles.
7. Textbooks.
8. Disney stuff.
9. Furniture.
10. Power tools. 
11. Designer watches. 
12. Antiques.
13. Basthtubs / proclein sinks.
14. Ceramic decorations that are rare to find. 
15. Concert t-shirts.
16. Canvas painting. 
17. Limited edition trainers.
18. Baby and kid gear.
19. Vintage eyewear. 
20. Vinyl.
21. Books. 
22. Sports memorabilia.
23. Old canning jars.
24. Wine.
25. Houses.
26. Trailers.
27. Websites.
28. Vintage board games.
29. Vintage toys.
30. Anything related to Star Wars.
31. Lego sets.
32. Nutcrackers.
33. Collectables.
34. Outdoor furniture.
35. Snow globes.
36. Vintage cups.
37. Glassware.
38. Remote controls.
39. Small antiques.
40. Sterling silver.
41. Mobile phones.
42. Barbies.
43. Pyrex.
44. Power washing equipment.
45. Record players.
46. Vintage video games. 
47. Appliances.
48. Photography gear. 
49. Scrap metal.
50. Commercial equipment.

Have you ever flipped any items to resell? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

How sensory helps me relax.

Hey readers,

Autism is hard at times to manage and I feel crap recently because I seem to be having frequent meltdowns due to added pressure socially. Plus additional important information I need process and adapt to new changes. 

So I have tried new ways to incorporate relation techniques into my daily life to help make me relax a bit more.

I know Asperger affects me in a way where I like doing physical hand movement type things as oppose to say thinking/meditating type things. I find some sensory activities can cause stress but others can create relaxation for me and stop me to obsessively checking of thinking  (as I also have OCD).

1) Firstly I absolutely love colouring. I have found it really helpful in giving me something to focus on and just being in the moment without constantly having several thoughts rushing through my head. It helps make me more relaxed so I can face challenges better too.

2) Planning something whether be a day out or activity with the kiddos I get pleasure from. Especially when it goes smoothly. I find it detracts me away from stress as again I focus on the here and now without worrying about things that I don't necessarily need too.

3) Personally for me there is something amazing about putting your head on a cold pillow.  Maybe because going into my bedroom (which is not often a lot cooler than other places in my home) can calm me down. I have several trips throughout the day to my room for 'timeout'. I found my temperatures get really hot when I'm anxious and faffing therefore feeling something cool can soothe me.

4) I have social anxiety, I do go out now but I tend to feel very anxious and on edge. So when I am using public transport I use a stress ball to help relax me when I get overwhelmed. It distracts me and I get to get rid of all that pend up energy and frustration.

5) This sounds weird when writing this down but brushing my hair helps relieve stress and I love the feeling after.

I know a lot of this stuff is a hands-on or sensory element but I am not one for sitting still I struggle sitting at the Dinner table for five minutes.

Cheers for reading X

10 misconceptions about depression

Hey readers,

I have lived with depression for years, though some days are better than others it is hard to live with. There is always that one person who makes a snap judgement when really they are quite ignorant and have no idea of what a battle it is to live with depression. 

Here are my top ten misconceptions about depression that I have met over the years.

1. A golden oldie, all you need to do is snap right out of it. yeah, if it was that simple to just click my fingers and it the depression would disappear. At my darkest episode, I was healthy, eating well, exercising a lot and going out but I still felt shit. I did everything to make these dreading feeling and fear go away with no avail.

2. Drugs don't work, well actually that may be so and it may be down to thoughts but then thoughts are in the mind. Drugs have worked successfully for some people including myself and I have seen evidence of it impacting my quality of life. It does not erase everything but it reduces the immediate effects and helps lift you up to help you think more clearly and logically.

3. Depression is attention-seeking, maybe so for some people but when I had depression, in the beginning, I was ashamed and didn't tell anyone and hid away in my deep dark world behind closed doors.

4. Depression means your weak, far from it as you are living will this illness and having to deal with all the extra work it brings. It is very trying and you really lose your motivation to just do anything. Getting through it is pure hard work more then anyone would know.

5. Depression is the same as sadness, wrong sadness is short-lived with feelings of low. Compare that to depression which sucks all your energy, self-destructive at times suicidal battle for long periods all day and night is a hell of a different story.

6. You don't have depression if you are happy, well I disagree as I can have spiked up and down and all over the place. Sometimes I don't know whether I am coming or going

7. Depression is a result of stressful events, well that can be the case in some situations as we can't rule out the environmental factors. But you have to hear in mind that hormones, brain activity and genes also play a role in depression.

8. It's not really an illness, there has been evidence showing differences between areas of the brain that have less activity in contrast with brains of non-depressives.

9. It's all in the mind, sometimes yes but like point 6 there many factors that can not be ruled at as well when debating about where depression comes from.

10.  Talking about it only makes it worse, yes it can stir up bad emotions but it can help some people talk about feelings can help bring stuff to the surface and work through the emotions attached to issues. What you have to bear in mind is we are all different and what works for one does not necessarily work for another.

Cheers for reading X

Ikeas magical charm.

Hey readers,

As a parent, some of the things I look for is activities to keep little ones occupied whether that be indoors or out. 

Nothing beats having time out from the home to get a break from the role of being an entertainer. One of the simple but very effective family days out for me personally is that big grey, blue and yellow striking building commonly know as IKEA!!!! 



It is one of my eldest sons favourite days out so much so that he begs me to take him there and goes ape s**t when we go past the building.

I had a brain wave and thought why not write right down reasons why I love this magnetically enchanted kingdom that young children gravitate towards. Therefore I have listed my top reasons why Ikea is simply the best.

★ Let's start with food, very essential criteria on any family day out and what is there not to love about cheap hot dogs, meatballs and ice cream where you can use a machine to release the lid of fatty yumminess. 

★ If you did not get an Ikea family card then you must as not only do you get discounts but also free coffee and tea, win-win!

★ The whole atmosphere wreaks of families as you get the sense of child-friendly ness with the layout being bright, playful with its tunnels for kids to run around or the fact you can get a complimentary nappy for FREE for young 'uns speaks volumes.

★ It is great for kids to be free in a magical area where they can play kitchens, jump on beds and pretend to work in an office or like my son imitating his daddy using the computers. 

★ There is free family fun on during the holiday times whether that be making bird boxes or at Christmas seeing Santa Claus, that will make a child's day, therefore, meaning you a top parent!

★ Baby care room is excellent thinking with the decor being fun and playful, little and large toilets, hop hops and the like. Makes any parent with a child go to the toilet or changing a nappy a lot lot easier. And as parents like anything making a task smooth and less stress.

★ There is four-hour free parking that is family-friendly again making it an easier enjoyable experience for everyone.

★ Essentially it is a cheap day out and everyone is happy what more could you want.

Now you have heard all these wonderfulness go explore and have fun.

Cheers for reading X

my Sunday photo 27/09/2020

You know you are a mum...

Hey readers,

There is something strange about becoming a mum not only does your whole world change but you get this universal unitedness shared with other mums. 

This happened even though you don't know the

the person but you can relate and understand.

I am not your average mummy as I am autistic which can bring up an array of challenges as an individual and as a mum. 

Sometimes regardless of my disability I can listen, read or hear situations that I can identify with and feel the same way as that parent feels. 

OK, it can be very lonely being a parent but sometimes when you hear similar stories of motherhood that you identify you get this sense of solidarity. It can be uplifting to know your not the only one experiencing these situations. 

Therefore I thought I would make a list that is a general experience that other parents can identify with.

  
1. No!

Having to say NO a million and one times. I have never used a word so much until I had kids and used this word. 

2. The smell of little one's hair.

Smelling your little one's hair straight after having a bath. There is nothing that smells that amazing and I would even go as far as saying that I could almost lick the hair, haha!

3. Mum bag.

Why is that most common item in my bag is a dozen or so fruit shoot tops gathered up at the bottom?

4. Alone time.

That when you finally get time alone you still end up thinking about your child.

5. CBeebies.

You know the whole song to Cbeebies goodnight tune.

6. Referee.

If you have two children you are automatically promoted to a referee.

7. Bribery is key.

You are qualified in negotiating skills and bribe making.

8. silence is golden unless...

You have a panic when you hear silence and you think to yourself,  's**t what is it that is up to '.

9. Sleep.

Sleep becomes a hell of a lot sexier and you have never fantasised about anything as much as sleep.

10. Alone.

Being alone feels weird and you feel as if something is missing.

Cheers for reading X

9 mummy secrets

 Hey readers,

Now I will state firstly say I love my Bambinos to the earth and back. But it is OK to be selfish and have some things for yourself. That I have learnt through motherhood that you need some things that you can claim as your own or you will slowly lose a part of you.

1. Pen and pad.

My funky pad and pen are mine and not for little pinkies. I need my lists and order to keep me sane. They are the little luxury that belongs to me. 

Though my kids do try to get my pad and pen it ain't happening on my watch. They are secretly placed so that they are not at risk of being scribbled on and destroyed. H

ave no fear though that my sons do have all different types of pens, crayons, colouring pencils, paper etc. So, therefore they are not losing out and mummy feels happy having something special that's ALL MINE.

2. Toilet.

Going to the toilet is my time out and some peace - so much so that I have a lock on my door and I will not open it until I have done my wee without the tornado of destruction entering my tertiary.

3. Chocolate.

Secretly having a full bar of chocolate to myself without sharing it. OK, so I am secretly hiding around the corner trying to be the quiet son they can listen to rich American kids play Roblox on Youtube, *AHEM*!

4. Kids cartoons.

That secretly I hate the majority of children's programmes (though I secretly love Nanny Plum and her sarcasm). 

I shall name one in particular that gets right on my nerves and that be TOPSY AND TIM. (More Tim mind as he such a miserable so and so and always carries that look of being slapped with a wet fish). Not to mention when are they ever going to actually move into that new home which looks identical to the one that they live in now. Yep, I know motherhood really comes with random thoughts such as above. 

5.  Window.

My decision who gets to sit near the window - END.OF.CONVERSATION.

6. Messy play.

I hate messy play and only do it for the selfless reasons as I know you boys love it so much but it does make my skin crawl. 

7. Space.

I may intentionally accidentally have thrown out a few of your drawings that are so alike it seems wasted to keep them all. I still need to save space for all your other work/reports/cards/memorabilia to store

8. Notes.

When I want to tell daddy something that I don't want your kiddies to know I may spell out the word or scribble a secret note to my beloved that I would like a beer and chocolate tonight.

9. Countdown.

When both mummy and daddy count to five we have no idea exactly what will happen after. So far we have only gone to 4!

You know it makes sense to keep somethings a secret to make family life run smoothly.

Do you have secrets that you have that you don't tell your children? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

Reasons why I love autumn.

Hey readers,

We have reached September where the evenings are getting darker and that little bit cooler as we are fast approaching Autumn (22 September).

 So I am going to celebrate why I love Autumn and why it trumps over other seasons.

1) Woolie jumpers to get cosy and snug.

2) Hot chocolate to warm off that coldness.

3) crunchy leaves to jump and walk-in is the best.

4) The air feels fresher and crisper.

5) Walking in the park is much more pleasurable watching the different colours changing.

6) The smell of cinnamon makes my nose twitch with joy.

7) Hot drinks and putting your hands around the cup is so comforting.

8) candles and wanting to stay in with blankets and books is a real joy.

9) I really like it when there is dense fog and I can't see anything. It feels closed in and secures.

10) Fluffy socks keeping your toes lovely and toasty!

Happy Autumn,

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 20/09/2020

 

How to improve your mobile battery.

Hey readers,

Do you suck the energy dry form your phone? Let me give you some tips to help extend the amount of battery phone.

Firstly, turning down the brightness can help reduce the amount of battery.

When using wallpaper as a background for your mobile chose a darker theme as less light is used and can help reduce your battery usage.

Turning off vibrate can increase talk time for an extra 10 minutes, If you go into the settings of your phone it is very simple to switch over.

Turn off additional settings such a GPS, location and anything else that might not be used.

One of the easiest ways to help reduce battery time is to turn down the brightness as this contribute to your battery life. 

This is one of the most popular and effective ways used by people.

Looking through the apps on your phone and work out which ones are using up more battery than others, then turn off the irrelevant ones.

Now again go through a clear out of apps on your phone that you do not use anymore, this will help with reducing battery.

If you are not worried about constantly getting notifications with emails and any other notification form apps. 

Then my suggestion is to turn off them notifications will be a big help in increasing your battery life.

I have found that being on Android that using apps constantly comes with updates that never seem to stop. 

Well, a way to deal with this is the turn off your notifications. Therefore saves a lot of battery and if you need to update an app it is easy to do manual through the app store.

All these tips may seem little improvements but when achieving all these actions then they soon add up to longer battery life, making you get more out of your mobile during the day.

Cheers for reading X

It's OK to bottle feed

Hey readers,

One of the main areas of things that you think about when you have a child is feeding them. I originally tried brest feeding and failed within five days as I was in pain, could not co-ordinate and triggered postnatal depression.

As a mother you want to do your best for your child. The one thing for me as a mother in the begining was trying to br this ideal perfect mother. I had to be able to breastfeed my baby or else I was doomed to failure.

 I felt this kind of message was reinforced everywhere I looked. There were posters on the hospital walls about the whole breast is best and the feeling that I had to do it succeed. 

No one teaches you about formula and that you as an individual can make the choice. I went to pre baby classes and the breast brigade forced this ideas of the importance of breast in a very dominated and unhelpful way.

 The effect of this was damaging and it triggered deep depression and self hatred way I was not successful with breast feeding.

I felt very depressed and felt like I was not what you would call a 'real women'. I could not co-ordinate no matter how many 'professionals' came and shoverd my arms here and there. 

I could not line up things the right way. I tried every position possible and the only way I would be successful is if someone did it for me.

I felt anger that no one talks to you about the emotional impact of the guilt. I hated myself and the world. Not to mention the emotional impact on the bond I had with my boy. 

I cut off feelings and attachment towards my son because I could not provide then there was no point connecting as I was damaged. I would just further complicate the situation. 

I felt I screwed up his development and he was going be retarded and not develop in the correct way.

I was a mess and lack of sleep combined nearly threw me over the edge. Thankfully after seeing my health visitor who said to me give him formula it doesn't matter as its 90% athe same closeness with the nutrient elements. 

She said.she formula feed all her children and they are grown u and fine. I can not tell you how relieved and reassured it made me feel. It also gave me confidence and helped build a proper bond with my child.

Now reflecting back I am glad I chose formula because for me it was the right decision. I accept that breast is obviously the natural way. But it is not the only option. We are lucky to have a place where we can provide health and alternatives that are just as good as breast milk.

Everyone is different, we all have our journey and battles to face. Some of us are successful and take breast feeding straight away. But that does not mean your failure if you don't. What the most important thing to remember is you do what is right for you and your child.

Thank you for reading X

A letter to guilt.

Hey guilt,

We don't need introductions we already know each other fairly well, as you are always there permanent 24/7 hiding in the background waiting to pounce.

I am just writing this letter to let you know that I seriously mother f****** hate you. you know this, you know when am weak and you can manipulate me. You think I will listen but I will put up a fight. 

There are days when there are constant internal squabbles between me and you. It is tiring and no one comes out.winning in this war. But I still put up a fight most days, while you hoover in the background.

I try to be a good mother,  I really do. I don't get it always right but please stop with the pestering, knocking at my door every corner of the way through motherhood. 

No one provides a manual with this parenting malarkey so how am I supposed to know. Sometimes I am so scared that I don't know what to do. 

All you can do is hope for the best. I am constantly learning through trial and error. Sometimes I win, other times I fail dramatically so.

I know you love the control over my weak mind, especially when I'm not certain but I'm sick of this battle between you and me. I have had enough of this constant battering me down with your mental torture.

You take advantage of all the information available, whether that be online, TV or whatever to make a stronger argument and bring me down. I am sick of this punishment! 

You dampen my mood and make me feel miserable. I shouldn't have to feel like this. I have a right to be happy just like anyone else.

Ok, I lose my shit from time to time and shout mum makes an appearance. I let the kids watch TV, sometimes I look at my phone a little bit too much but give me a goddamn break it is hard work.

I know people are going to criticise me for making the comment but parenting is a full-time job but no-one recognises what you do. Apart from your guilt, you are there waiting at every opportunity to put me down and make me feel like I'm the worst parent in the whole entire world.

Sometimes you mess with my brain so much that I lie awake in the early hours of the morning reflecting and where it all went wrong.

Right now I don't care anymore and no I'm not 100% perfect but I'll give it a good try. We all have to learn from my mistakes or how else do I grow as a parent.

I work my ass off, I try to do all the things that you should do as a parent I feed them a clear of them I love them but now and again I make mistakes I am only human after all.
so on a final note to your guilt, I want to say f*** you.

yours,

A tired mother dealing with this guilt trip!

Messy play, ugh!

Hey readers,

SO the other day I thought I know what would be fun and creative on Sunday morning, pre-9am getting the paints out to some messy play. I know what you are thinking already.

I am absolutely insane because it appears that I have some sort of long term memory with forgetting all about the crappy attempts last time and all the stress it caused.

But as per usual 'mummy expectations' put on me through reading too many ideologies through social media, this sodding technological world we live in. 

I respect the fact that no one ever put a gun against my head, it is just having low self-confidence in anything and parenting I worry about everything. 

I do I am not going lie, I don't need pity it just a fact of life.

But just remind me any time I think it is a good idea to go solo with a three year with paints, just step away. 

Seriously, I appreciate art but I don't really rate a Pollock style rug, nor walls, nor table, nor sofa, nor bath, basically any fucking where the child decides to put the paint.

I am nervous wreck anyway because I am lucky enough to have a disposition to anxiety type A  personality shall we say.

Why, is it so important to paint, it consists of the child painting a grand total of five minutes whilst muggings here spends a good old forty minutes to clean up. 

I spend more time doing the work then the actual child, surely that is not right.

I will be honest I am not very good with the mess, and disorder with no logic to it. 

I REALLY, REALLY should leave this type of activity to the professional's AKA school. He has a good three hours, five times a week to lose his shit with the paint then all I need to do is bath him in the brown mess every single day and constantly add to the pile of washing.  

I am down with that, they can guide him to be an outstanding artist, teachers are trained and expert in this field, hence why they have so many teacher training days to deal with such skills.

So, the moral of the story is don't ever let your child loose with paint until they are at an age where they can clean up after themselves. I shall just embrace painting app on the table and leave the important stuff to the professionals!

What do you think about messy play? Is a dream or is it hell for you? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 13/09/2020

Stuck in Roblox world 😂! 

Ways to improve your mental health.

Hey readers,

I suffer from anxiety/depression and sometimes it is hard to get on with life when you are sucked into the vicious cycle of self-hatred. 

Sometimes doing the smallest of things to make life nicer for yourself can make a huge difference. Here are some ways that I will discuss in this post that has helped me.

First one is being kind to yourself, easier said than done but sometimes we can be our own worst critic. We beat ourselves up and if anyone in the same situation came to us I bet we wouldn't speak to them the way we speak to ourselves.

 Be kinder and accept that some things are out of control. We are doing the best or doing what we can in that situation.

I have noticed that life particularly as a parent can feel like a wheel that constantly goes around and around, doing the same thing in and out each day without any change. 

Sometimes, change is good and what better way to do it then breaking the monotony up of your day. It could be something simple like going for a walk to a coffee shop, can make a huge difference to your day because it is a change of scenery.

Another way to make you feel better about yourself is by doing some volunteer, as you get the sense that you are valued for your time and services. 

Not to mention the feeling that you as a person are giving something valuable like your time for the better goodwill bring a feel-good factor. It could potentially help build your self-confidence in making you more worthwhile doing something positive and taking action.

A really productive way to help with your mental health is when you can ask for help and don't feel ashamed as no man is an island. I have always found this one different myself as I have been brought to not ask for help but now and again I do ask and you no what it makes a massive difference. 

You also shouldn't feel ashamed but proud of doing something that can make your situation better. Your not weak because of asking but strong for recognising that you need help, no one can do it all by themselves.

Sometimes, we can get caught up in our thoughts and just sit there ruminating on them causing us to be in a worse mood. I find that taking time out for yourself and doing something that you enjoy is really beneficial. 

It doesn't have to be something grand it could be just going for a walk, taking photos or even colouring but it has the benefits of helping you relax and distract yourself away from the negative thoughts.

This is so cliche but I am going to throw it in as I read a lot recently that blogging is really positive for your mental wellbeing.

 Firstly, you have a platform to write your feelings which can bring real cathartic. 

Secondly, your helping others who may be similar situations feel less alone and you never you may make friends.

Cheers for reading X

What does depression look like.

Hey readers,

Below is a picture of myself taken today.

You could say I just look a normal everyday person minus her eyes being shut. You don't think oh my God she looks like she has depression because you know what I do.

People always assume that if you are smiley or cheery then somehow you can not possibly experience depression.

 Well, news flash you can and furthermore, it can strike at any age, background or social mobility status because depression doesn't pick who it wants to cause this nightmare mess inside your brain.

Anyone can experience it, at any time in their life. It can last weeks or years and definitely something that you can not physically measure, much to the disapproval of the government.

My point being is that some days I laugh, I cry, I hate and dread and all the other messy emotions that life has to bring. But also I have this mental battle, some days are OK and I manage. 

Other periods are short spells and then if there is too much stress in my life then can be several months where the black dog doesn't sod off. 

He creeps around like a stalker catching me every time I am venerable or exposed to stresses in life. It sucks and there is nothing I can do but plot on. 

For me, it is a chemical imbalance mixed with stress and managing with my autism. It sucks and yes I smile but please be aware that I can mask like the rest of them.

We need to stop presuming that depression only affects certain people and that it is more grey than black with how it is presenting to the outside world. 

So just be mindful that there may be someone smiling but deep down they are internally dying and hating everything that their life is.

what is your experience of depression? Does this resonate with you? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X