Wednesday, 24 April 2019

Apps I use everyday

Hey readers, 

Today I thought I would share with you my top 10 apps that I use every day, if you are like me and love a noisy then this post is for. 


1. Pinterest

Kicking off with firstly with Pinterest, such a great place to share my content from my youtube and blog channels, not only that but great for finding inspiration on a whole host of ideas. I also am attracted to this app as it is a visual base.


2. Facebook. 

If I am honest with you I only use Facebook for finding details about blog opportunities and blog support otherwise I would delete this app as I don't algorithm and definitely not what it was when it was in its heyday. 

3. Twitter.

I love a bit of Twitter especially when I am watching a live programme and you can look under the hashtag and see other peoples thoughts, I think this is a really fun way of viewing programmes. I find it also helpful for me as an autistic to look and see other peoples experiences on their journey with autism. It makes me feel less isolated even though I don't know these people, to know that you don't feel alone is comforting, to say the least. 

4. Google. 



Let's face first port of call for asking questions from finding a certain come dine with me an episode to trying to find out when McDonald's sell milkshake from. Yes, I have done both these searches recently, lol. 

5. Youtube.

YouTube the hub of entertainment - well for me anyway it is mostly where I watch something. There are documentaries, vlogs, music, interviews, how-tos, it is quite frankly amazing what you can find nowadays on YouTube. 

6. Facebook.


I know niches are all the rage now and again like Facebook all about the algorithm. That being said I still enjoy Instagram, I just which it was in the right order plus so many great memes which let's be honest saves lives. 

7. Shopmium.


If you like free sh*t (hell yeah) then check this app out as you can buy items from the list of available products, scan the receipt in and get the money back, sometimes all of it and others it will be a percentage. One of the best frugal apps out there in my option. 

8. O2 Moments.

Again, another money-related app and I am on 02, therefore, can apply for the rewards such as a free hot drink on a Wednesday from Cafe Nero, yes, please. 

9. Gmail. 



Got to check out all the emails from pr companies emails of junk companies, else they do build up and that is a ball ache to sort out in the long term. So once a day check on emails and clear out the rubbish. 

10. Sarcasm Quotes. 

Finally a fun little app with memes and funny photos to put a smile on your face. 

What apps do you like using? Any on my list that you also enjoy? Love to hear your thoughts. 

Cheers for reading X 




Tuesday, 23 April 2019

10 reasons why i love carbs

Hey readers,

Is it just me or over recent years carbohydrates are frowned upon. In some cases, some people even fear them due to this myth that carbs make you put on at least 3 stone if you dare eat a portion of mashed potato or a bowl of pasta.




So, instead of fearing carbs in this post I am going to tell you reasons why you need carbs in your life. I have selected my top 10 reasons why I love carbs.

1. Exercise

 Carbohydrates are good because they provide energy which is fantastic especially if you want to do exercise. 
Nothing is worse when you have a plummet in low energy. I for one have experienced this and it has led actually to me to binge eat which then turns into a cycle of self-sabotage.

2.  Delicious.

I eat carbohydrate because of the simple fact that they are delicious. I think is whenever it comes to food is moderation is must and it is ok to have carbs as part of a healthy diet.

3. Lose Weight. 

 It is funny because actually, carbs can help you lose weight if you eat the right carbs correctly such as brown bread, pasta, and bread along with vegetables and nuts.

4. Full up.

 Carbohydrates fill you up and leave you filling fuller for longer.

5. Type 2 Diabetes. 

Carbohydrates control your blood sugar level and help reduce the risk of getting type 2 diabetes therefore even more reason to tuck into them and enjoy. 

6. Diet. 

 I have in the past tried out the Atkins diet but in all honesty, it made me feel super miserable. I  just love carbs and what is even better is carbs makes me feel so good. So, now I am not going to sacrifice them to lose a few pounds. I would rather be fat and happy any day of the week. 

7. Versatile. 

 Carbs are so versatile that you can fry them, boil mash, grill and even oven cook them. This makes cooking with carbs so appealing to use them when adding to meals to make them interesting. 

8. Brain Fuel. 

Carbs provide fuel and brain power so key to helping if your studying and need help to working out information out.

9.  Full up. 

Carbs name your belly feel happy as they provide fibre which helps keep the bowels moving and lower the chances of constipation. The focus should be on using wholemeal grains as they have the best qualities in the food and better for your digestive health. 

10.  Vitamins. 

Wholegrain carbs provide vitamins such as vitamin B and iron which helps with keeping the blood flowing around in your body. Also, carbs help with keeping your immune system strong therefore fighting off any germs and keeping your body healthy.

Do you love carbs?  Or are you scared to even look at them? Love to hear your thoughts below.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 21 April 2019

Small spaces and autism

Hey readers,

When it comes to small spaces and my autism in some instances I like to be in small spaces. Other times small spaces make me feel really claustrophobic making me feel like I  want to run away and be free. 


Therefore in this post, I'm going to split up for reasons why I like small spaces and reasons why I don't small spaces. 

So why do I love small spaces as an autistic person? 

I think one of the reasons I like small spaces, in particular, is when I'm having a meltdown I feel like I need to curl up in a fetal position. I want to hide away in a small space where no one can get me that is dark and secure and safe.

 I identify my bedroom as my safe place and that is where I go to escape the emotional situation that can cause me to a breakdown of sorts. 

when I am in a small space I find that there are fewer stimuli for me to concentrate on. Therefore it calms me down a lot more quickly than when I am in a very stimulating environment where there is a lot going on. The type of stimuli that affects me is noise from the TV, bright lights, someone touching me. So, shutting out that noise helps calm me down and dispenses the meltdown. 

When I go into a small space it helps me to stop the overthinking and fast thoughts that occur in my mind. Small spaces give me a chance to reduce my feelings of being overwhelmed and trying to process this information when I'm deeply anxious. 

when I am in a small space it's normally deep within a quilt on a quilt on a quilt so that I am warm and secure in my small space. The small space and being closed in helps me feel safe again.  

Looking back and evaluating how I respond to small spaces I think one of the reasons that I see small spaces at times positive for me because they are comforting when I'm distress or when I'm anxious. Going to a safe and small space gives me that time to hideaway. 


Reasons why I do not like small spaces? 

I guess like most things the way I think about things is black or white and this the small spaces. Sometimes I deeply enjoy them and other times I detest them, there is no in-between for me. 

I don't like small spaces when I am in a busy place or I am not coping well with my anxiety. I feel trapped and find it hard to think of solutions, therefore, have felt that this is going to be forever. 

I need to feel in control and when I am not it causes upsets and meltdowns. Another time I don't like small spaces is at bus stops waiting for the bus. 

I feel really paranoid when there are others provided the space. I have been knowing to stand in the pouring rain because I don't like the entrapment. 

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 21/04/2019



Wednesday, 17 April 2019

75 Simple pleasures that give you complete satisfaction

Hey readers,

Today I am writing a list of all things simple pleasures. I have come up with 75 of my favourite simple things that happen in my life that I very much enjoy. 




1. Blowing bubbles with kids.



2. Hearing your favorite song come on and singing your heart out.



3. Cracking the yolk of a boiled egg.



4. A morning stretch.



5. Getting into bed with the heated blanket.



6. Being lazy on a Sunday. 



7. The smell of fresh cut grass.



8. When you do a deep clean and the room is tidy.


9. Getting to the bottom of the washing pile.



10. Having hot tea after hours of not having one.


11. Freshly baked bread.



12. Helping someone in need.



13. Making someone laugh. 



14. A crossed of to-do-list.



15. Making someone smile.



16. Laughing till your belly hurts.



17. Lying in bed listening to the rain.



18. Having a picnic.



19. Finding money.



20. Kindness from a stranger.



21. Walking barefoot through the sea.



22. Clean sheets.



23. Planting a seed.



24. Hearing a cat purr.



25. Dancing with no care in the world.


26. A warm drink on a cold day.



27. At night closing the curtains and hiding the world away.


28. Taking a cat nap.



29. Snuggling under the quilt.



30. A long hot bath.



31. When a website loads really fast.  



32. Making shapes out of clouds. 



33. Finding a relaxing place to sit. 



34. When you hike and reach the top of the hill.


35. Sitting down in a coffee shop and watching the world go by.


36. Going to sleep when you're exhausted.

37. When I accomplish something that someone told me I could not do. 


38. Sunsets.


39. Peeling an orange in one go.


40. Having a wee after a long time. 


41. Having freshly cleaned laundry.



42. The smell of a new book.



43. Using a new notebook for the first time.


44. Wrapping in a blanket straight after it has been in the dryer.


45. Seeing a squirrel bounching about.



46. Being outside.



47. The smell of rain. 



48. The first minute of a hot shower.



49. Changing into my pajarmas after a long day. 



50. Drawing a perfect circle with a compass. 



51. When you find a yellow sticker.



52. Reading a good book.



53. Having a lie in.



54. Discovering a new song that you love.



55. Sitting near the sea eating fish and chips. 



56. Eating strawberries and cream in the summer.



57. Fairy lights twinkling at night. 



58. New socks.



59. Watching children giggle and play. 



60. The smell of a burning candle.



61. Falling asleep in a sunbeam.


62. Being the first person to open the coffee jar.

63. The smell of coffee is emerge.


64. Watching a lightning storm. 


65. Waking up in a warm bed feeling all fuzzy.


66. When it is a cold and dreary day.



67. Taking your bra off after a long day. 



68. Silence. 



69. Thunderstorms at night. 



70. Waking up without an alarm clock. 



71. Tasty food. 


72. A cold drink when you have walked for ages. 

73. Peeling the plastic off a new phone cover.

74. Freshly shaven legs.  



75. Sitting in the park in the summer and the sun is shining. 

What simple pleasures do you enjoy? Love to hear your comments below. 

Cheers for reading X 

Tuesday, 16 April 2019

Why I love lists

Hey readers,

If you didn't know I love a list, every day I write one for general and also if you are a regular reader we will know that I am fond of the old listicle post. Let me tell you why I love lists so much. 

1. Clear cut. 

I am a black and white thinker as I have autism so therefore it is something I find comforting. I find lists are clear cut and I know exactly what I want to do and how to get it done. 

2. Organise thoughts. 

I have lots of thoughts buzzing round in my head and find that lists are an excellent way to organise my thoughts. 

3. Visual.

The lists I do are handwritten on a pad and they are visual than for me to look at. I can see them and I can look back on the list to know where I am going. 

3. They feel less taxing on the brain. 

I feel much calmer when I write my lists out as they get all my thoughts out, things I need to do and physically writing down the things I need to shuts out the noise in my mind.

4. Rewarding. 

One of the greatest feelings in the world is to tick off the items on your list because you can visually see that you have done the task you aimed for and it feels rewarding and like you achieved something, it doesn't matter how small the task you still have that buzz. 

5. Control.

I will admit I am a control freak and like to know exactly what is happening. When I write out lists I feel more comfortable with my day as I am in control and know what I am doing. I like structure and lists fit with my personality. 

6. Plan.

Lists allow me to plan my day so I know exactly what I am doing and I can focus on achieving the goals. Which, in turn, makes me feel much happier in life. 

7. Time.

Lists save time because you can write down your tasks and then you can work from there meaning you are focused on the tasks. In comparison, if I don't do lists, I feel confused and not sure what to do. 

8. Goal achievement.  

Lists can be overwhelming depending on how much information you put on the list. That is why it is important, well for me anyway to not feel overwhelmed breaking down the lists into chunks. What I can do next is split the list down into smaller chunks so it is not so overwhelming. 

Lists are a great way to see goals you have yet been done and completed whilst ticking them off the list is satisfactory in its self. 

Do you like lists are you laid back and just go with the flow? Love to hear your comments below. 

Cheers for reading X 

Sunday, 14 April 2019

My Sunday Photo 14/04/2019


Friday, 12 April 2019

New

Hey reader,

This weeks word of the week is:



because I have treated myself after saving up for a couple of months to a NOW TV stick and is the Best. Thing. Ever!

We also went to Mcdonalds this week and I won a  free 6 month NOW TV kids pass. So, the kids have been fully enjoying checking out new cartoons. I be honest with you it is a breath of fresh air watching something new instead of watching the same old same old.

In other news, I have been to both my son's parents evening and they've been doing really well and making progress, which is really good.

I am also really thankful that the sun has decided to come back again. This makes a pleasant change to not feel cold and to get rid of the coat for a bit because I bloody hate wearing a coat but sometimes it's necessary really, isn't it?!

I hope you've had a good week. 

Cheers for reading X

Thursday, 11 April 2019

My top 10 money saving tips.

Hey readers, 

Who doesn't love to save a bit of cash when? you can with my top money saving tips.

1. Supermarket closing. 

Check out your supermarket before closing time. Grab them yellow stickers, don't worry they won't hurt you. You can freeze them, did you know you can freeze bread and milk, amazing how much you save by just doing that.


Shopping Cart, Shopping, Supermarket

2. Online coupons.

Before buying anything that you need to check online for coupons and discounts. simply just type in the item and see where the cheapest price is if you say you want a specific TV you can save a couple hundred if you look around carefully. don't just go someone, it is always important to do your research beforehand.

3.  My supermarket app. 

Download my supermarket app it is amazing to compare food from leading supermarkets and see where the cheapest price is to get that item. 

4. Hotdeals Uk.

Another great app is Hot Deals UK. On the app, you can see each product and the different prices from the major retailers on one page You can also get notifications when new deals come in.


5. Electricity. 

To save money on your electricity bill one easy way is to simply turn off your tv from the socket to save money. Why have the TV  on when you are not using it? You will be amazed at just doing that one trick will save you money.


Light Bulb, Idea, Self Employed

6. Travel Mugs.

Invest in a travel mug so you can take your own hot drink when you are going out, saves so much instead of going to Starbucks. There are some really cool designs in travel mugs and you are not wasting it on cups so helping the environment too win-win. 

7. Cash. 

If you do plan to go to supermarket or shop then take a set amount of hard cash and leave your money card at home, therefore you are forced to budget and not be tempted to impulsive buy items that you may not need. 

Five Pound Note, Cash, Money, Pound

8. No Spend.

 Make it a habit to have one day a week where you do not spend anything, you will be amazed at how easy it is to once you start doing it. I have also found that I am more likely to do productivity things that I need to do that I normally put off as I have that free time to use up.

9. Emails.  

 How many emails have you got that you receive from companies trying to entice you to spend? They like to remind you of what they have to try to seduce you. Don't fall for it and unsubscribe then there less junk and you can get on with saving.

Email, Newsletter, Marketing, Online

10. Packed lunch.

Instead of eating out or buying lunch at work invest the time to make your own lunch, plus it is much healthier for your instead of eating high fat processed food. 

What is your favourite money saving tip, I would love to hear in the comments?

Cheers for reading X 





   

Monday, 8 April 2019

How to do Easter on a budget


Hey readers,



With social media being a big influence on most it can be hard not to be persuaded do things to extremes. But let's be honest most of us haven't the money to splash about. So, here are some of my tips on how to stick to a budget but still having a lovely time for Eater. 





1. set a budget. 

Sometimes it is good to plan especially when you need to budget. So, be realistic in working out what your disposable income is for Easter then stick to that amount. Sometimes, working out and writing it down is more concrete and can help keep our focus and stick to our budget. 

2. Latest deals. 

One of the best ways to save money on things that you want is to check out the latest deals online before spending the cash impulsively. There are many fab websites that can give you information on the latest deals such as Martin Lewis site or my supermarket.com which compares the prices of products with the leading supermarkets (Asda, Sainsbury's, Waitrose, Tesco, Iceland, Morrisons etc). 

3. Cash. 

Another brilliant tip to keep you reined in when out shopping for Easter stuff is to take cash out and leave the bank card at home. Therefore you definitely won't overspend and you can relax knowing that you are in control and staying within your budget. 

4. Plan. 

Planning is key to winning when it comes to your budget. Before dashing about on impulse plan head and what you want to do and how much you need plus the money that you can afford to spend on items such as Easter eggs or craft. 

5. Pressure.
Don't get sucked up in the hype, I know it can be hard with pressure on people outperforming one another on social media. However, in the end, what matters is you are happy and do what is right for you. Everyone is different so don't put the expectations on as long as you have a good time and relax surely that is the most important thing. Remember Easter is only a couple of days and before you know it to be forgotten and moved on to the next thing, such is the society that we live in. 

How do you budget for Easter? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below. 

Cheers for reading X 

How a Fitbit helps me and my mental health.

Hey readers,

Only recently have I invested in a Fitbit and it has really been a real motivator for me to get up and move.

 As a person who has mental health problems, I find that having something like counting steps every day to reach a goal has helped me feel a bit better about myself. 



Even though it is a small positive change, it really has helped me a great day in my mental health journey. 

Waking up every day and knowing I want to achieve something as a realistic goal gets me moving, gets me out of the bed and doing something for me which has helped.

 Especially when talking about mental health getting out of the house is something good, getting away from the same four walls can be a breath of fresh air.

 Doing something productive is a biggy for me instead of brewing on the negativity and my thoughts that just go round and round. 

Having a Fitbit has provided me with a focus and a distraction from the feelings of giving up and feeling like what is the point. 

Having a reason to leave my home is a big help. I have a purpose though it is just numbers it is more than that to me. 

I have a goal that I know I can aim for, it allows me to focus on walking, getting exercise helps release them feel good hormones.

 Doing something for me gives me a lift in my mood, knowing I am taking action when I force myself out of the home and doing exercise.  

Improving my health and stamina with fitness has made me feel better about myself because I have regained that control because I AM doing it, I am getting out in the world and exciting. 

I know I am not perfect but seeing progress with pushing myself and getting out of the home is a step closer in improving my mental health. 

Getting out in the fresh air allows me to clear my head of the thoughts, it allows me to think of new things because I have a different scenery allowing me to think of new ideas instead of staying at home festering on the negativity. 

Alongside going out for walks to increase my step count there is another element to Fitbit where is a target to walk 250 steps each hour between 9am and 5pm and it is a visual cue to get up. 

It gives you the competitive motivator to move every hour so instead of sitting down for hours on end. 

Seeing the many visual aids to help you stay motivated on the fitness app really does give a feel-good buzz. 

You want to get up and move because you can see the result. You can see the rewards and trophies that you can get via Fitbit app which again boasts your mood because you know you are doing something for you and you growing in strength not only physically but mentally. 

Therefore, I am glad that I chose to purchase and Fitbit. Yes, there are bad days of course but baby steps are key and a Fitbit helps with that for me and my mental health journey.

Cheers for reading X 

Sunday, 7 April 2019

My Sunday photo 07/04/2019


I told the boys to shake their tic tacs. Their face makes me laugh so much. :) 

Thursday, 4 April 2019

9 ways to help a child be resilient.

Hey readers,

How can we help make our children resilient when faced with stress and adversity, below are my top tips. 



1. Independent Learning.

It is easy to give in to a child but sometimes allowing the child to be independent. However, allowing a child to do things for themselves, without first jumping in is a great way to build their confidence and learn. 

girl eating cereal in white ceramic bowl on table

2. Support. 

Give the child support when they need but let them come to you rather than the other way around. Believe me, they will as long as they know the support is there without judgement. 

3. Self-Discovery. 

Don't constantly answer the questions that the child asks you, get the child to explore for themselves. It is easy to take the quick root and answer but actually the best way sometimes to grow as an individual is to test out and learn through your own self-discovery. 

4. Mistakes. 

Teach your child that mistakes happen and not everyone gets it right. Let's face it no one is perfect and we can't be good at everything as that would be boring. We need diversity and it is important to focus on the strengths that the person can bring to the table. 

selective focus photo of woman lifting child during daytime

5.Risk Taking.

It is important to not get in the mindset of trying to cotton wool our children as sometimes you need to allow risks so that they can learn and understand the boundaries. The more you child to shield a child, the temptation for them to do that thing will be greater. 

6. Delayed Gratification. 

Teach a child delayed gratification - where you have to wait before you can enjoy the rewards you have reaped. This will make them appreciate the reward much more than getting the reward straight away. 

7. Problem-Solving. 

Let your child learn to problem solve, don't just go for the easy answer but allow them to explore the problem and find their own solutions, they will be thankful in the long run. 

woman and girl walking on road surrounded by green grass

8. Catastrophic Thinking. 

Don't go down the catastrophic root with a problem a child is facing. It can be easy to think about all the gloom but it is important to get a well-balanced view of the situation and think positive about something new. Your child wants to explore, instead of being negative with saying that is ok if you can't do that but instead opt for a positive approach with saying how fun it will be and you can make friends say if you go on a camp trip as an example of being positive. 

9. Selective.

Don't give your child everything they ask for (toys, trips etc) even though everyone else has it. They need to learn that they don't need everything and that you can enjoy the things you do have even though you don't have everything because at the end of the day it is just materialistic item. It is much better to be a good person in my eyes anyway. 

What techniques have you used to help a child to be resilient? 

Cheers for reading X 

Wednesday, 3 April 2019

March favourites

Hey readers,

It is now the fourth month of the year that we are in. So, I am going to reflect over the past month (March) of things that I have been loving. 



1. Fleabag. 

Regarding television programmes that I have been watching in March, I have been really enjoying Fleabag on BBC one. It is the second series and still carrying on brilliantly. It is about the life of a woman called Claire living in London dealing with the tragedy of losing her friend. It is dark, it is funny and really well timed as well with the observations and comments. 

2. Blossom.

Now that the horrific wind from storm Gareth has left, the sunshine has been shining high and allowing growth in nature. There is blossom growing everywhere on trees and it is just a breath of fresh air to see the new season working its magic. 

3. Clocks. 

Of course, only the other day the clocks went forward an hour which though on the day we lost an hours sleep *boo** means that the days are getting brighter and more change of warmer weather and opportunities for going outside and soaking in the sunshine. 

4. Selling on Facebook. 

I have been really enjoying selling odd bits of stuff that we don't really need any more on Facebook. Not only is someone getting a bargain and we are getting some cash back but also means more space, less clutter about. 

5. Hot showers. 

Only recently hubby treated us to out rainfall type shower head and I can confirm it absolutely bliss to have a hot shower with the rainfall head above you. My boys love the new shower and love the idea of the fact it feels like rain. 

What have you been loving over the past month of March? Love to hear your comments down below. 

Cheers for reading X 

Tuesday, 2 April 2019

How to deal with the feelings of FOMO.

Hey readers,

As a person who has experienced feelings of FOMO due to the increasing social media presence of this idea of a perfect mother, I know how tough it can be. Of course, there is no perfect life but when you are bombarded with constant images of happy families constantly doing something and you’re at home not doing a great deal you can feel like you are missing out.


I know the FOMO (feelings of missing out) is a common problem with the internet generation as there is always something going on and it natural to compare but where do we draw the line.
The dictionary definition of FOMO is:
Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.
Here are some ways have helped me come to accept my life and know it is ok not to be perfect.

Be kind to yourself.

apartment bed carpet chair

I think there is this need in society to have the next best thing, to constantly be doing amazing things on social media but sometimes you know what it is good to stay in and do nothing. Don't beat yourself up for this, your allow to not do anything or go anywhere doesn't mean you are not living, embrace and actually let go and enjoy it. I now do this and I cut that pressure off and it feels amazing. I slow down and just unwind and it really does the world of good for your mental health.

You’re not alone.

This may sound obvious but believe me when you are engrossed in the feelings of FOMO you lose your ability to rationalise, you assume everyone is doing something other than you. You get intrusive thoughts that you should be doing what everyone is doing and that social pressure feels very strong and the urge to comply is there. I found that actually not looking at some of the individuals who for whatever reason have much cooler life than I helps. 

I remind myself I am not alone and I also look around on the old social media to see that others doing similar stuff to me and that it is ok to be that. It is all about putting things into perspective realising that most people that you check out on Instagram are just one-sided and you don't see all their lives. Try to unfollow people that make you feel inferior - ignorance is bliss. Find other accounts that are similar to you and you can relate to. It will make you feel so much better and also contribute in helping come to accept your life in a more positive way.

Distractions.

apple applications apps cell phone

Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed with all the online information that is out there. The constant notifications that sometimes the best thing to do is mute the distractions, turn your phone on aeroplane mode or even better still turning your phone completely off. Even if it is just for an hour you will be amazed at how much better you will feel.

What things have helped you deal with FOMO?

Cheers for reading X

Monday, 1 April 2019

5 Ways to stop over apologising.

Hey readers, 

I think it is a British problem where I myself often apologise even though I have done nothing wrong. It is like I am in autopilot and I want to keep the peace even though the other person doesn't care, it's hard-wired in my head. So, trying to learn how to get out of this habit which I have been doing for a number of years I have got some ideas on trying to overcome this problem. I thought I would share them as someone else may find this useful if they are in the same boat as me with over apologising. 


1. Pause.

When you feel the need to apologise for a good habit to get into is passing before you apologise. Allowing yourself time to think before acting can maybe kick in other ideas and make you think whether apologising is worthwhile. 

2. Triggers. 

Sometimes, it is good to reflect and think why you feel the need to apologise, is it because you have anxiety and you are worried about what people think? or you don't like confrontation. A task you can do is write out some situations where you feel you apologise and instead write out a different outcome such as, instead of saying, sorry you could swap it with can you please help me understand better? This allows you to communicate and be direct but being assertive with your words.

3. Silence. 

I think one of the reasons that I feel the need to apologise is because of that awkward silence when you really not sure what to do after an incident. I have learned to embrace the silence and yes at times it is uncomfortable but pushing myself in the comfort zone teaches me to accept and stand tall. 

4. Swap. 

Often we say sorry when someone gives us a compliment but instead of brushing that compliment under the carpet accepting it and saying thank you is a much better way of dealing with the situation, You are expressing gratitude and it is ok to be happy when something good is talked about you, your not big headed but allowing the compliment to happen and taking it on board.

5. Empathy. 

Instead of opting to say sorry for a response to show empathy why not swap with an empathetic response because it is giving the person the feeling that you want to understand. You could say something like, 'that sounds really difficult for you'. Not only does it give the individual sense that you are listening but it allows the conversation to be opened up and explored more instead of sorry which is a closed off reply to a conversation. 

5. Feedback. 

It can be convenient to just apologise in a situation but this can give you low self-esteem or make you feel anxious. It is far better if you ask for feedback from the person such as, 'can you tell me a way I can make this situation better?' this then can make you feel more positive and take control over the situation as you are coming with ideas to improve and wanting to change. 

Have you overcome over apologising? What ways help you to stop saying sorry? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below. 

Cheers for reading X