Anxiety

Hey readers,

As a long-term sufferer from anxiety, I have learned a lot on the way from experiencing anxiety. For one thing, anxiety is the pits!

 At times when feeling anxious, it feels very real especially when your heart is pounding so hard you feel that it may feel out of your body.

Over the years anxiety scared me ironically. I wanted to run away and try to hide from it but if you have ever suffered from anxiety then it will find you and you will be sure made aware of it. If anything running away from the anxiety actually makes it worse in my opinion and the experience I have had of anxiety.

Over the years I have come to one conclusion with anxiety is to accept it for what it is. Ok, it is a regular visitor but it is definitely not a friend because it is not very nice. But accepting it and feeling the feelings is ok, it doesn't make me a failure, which I believed for a very long time.

Accepting the anxiety and knowing that the anxious thoughts are not always true and sometimes my behaviour is just learned from all the years of fear. It is a warped way of protecting myself. 

Now I embrace it, I allow it to come. If I have a panic attack or breakdown in tears I let it come. It is ok and actually, it is so much more manageable than before. 

This mindset has helped. Likewise, with feelings of failure, I know that anxiety is something that may be with me all my life but it doesn't mean I am weak or I give in. I accept it and work with it the best I can at that time.

You have to ride with the anxiety like the waves of the sea. Sometimes I experience anxiety and it can be only a day where I am cribbled with intense dread. 

Other times I go through periods of total exhaustion, tearfulness, panic attacks etc. That is ok. It is ok not to be ok. It is ok not to be superhuman and it is ok to have anxiety. It doesn't make me less of a person. I am not anxiety, anxiety is part of me but there are many more layers to me.

I am still learning about my mental health, it is not easy especially when you are vulnerable and prone to the negativity it can catch you out, anxiety is a bugger like that. 

 But I am with wisdom moving on with anxiety, if it is there it is there but I am not going to run away from it or be scared of it anymore. I think this is one of the most valuable lessons that I have learned in life. I am not superhuman but I can feel and appreciate the feelings. 

They belong to me and I can respond to them anyway I chose. It is my life and the anxiety does not control me, I am the controller of anxiety.

Cheers for reading X

Enough

Don't feel good enough,

Hate me,

Silent tears,

Watching life go on,

Thoughts go back,

Haunting me,

Killing me,

I hope today will pass.

Linger

I'm in a room,

Present,

Then bang I am transported,

Back to the time,

When I was little,

Powerless,

No control,

No voice,

The memories linger on.

Emotions

My Sunday photo 28/07/2019

Book recommendations August 2019 **AD**

Hey readers,

I have been kindly gifted some books to review from Carlton. 

They have an extensive range of fiction and non-fiction books to keep any child entertained. I have some cracking ones that may be of interest to you.  

1. Youtube World Records.

What child doesn't like Youtube and combined with amazing world records this book is a hit. 

My eldest loves facts and non-fiction book so this went down well. Especially as the records are amazing covering human feats right through to nature and machinery this book has it covered to blow your mind.  

What I like about this book is on each page there is a QR code which you can scan on your phone and it will come up with the related to the video of that record, which is great to add to modern books. 

There is no age recommendation as there is something for all and family-friendly content. 

The book cost £16.99 and will be released on 8th August 2019. 

2. We Love Sonic. 

I used to love Sonic when I was a child so this book brings some happy memories whilst reading it with the kiddos.
  

If you want to know everything there is to Sonic the Hedgehog then this book is for you. 

The book covers each character of the game whether a friend or foe you will get to know who they are. 

Plus not only does the book discuss all things gaming but also includes discussion about Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon and the upcoming movie soon to be released at the cinema. 

Also, the book covers Sonic's tricks and help you learn more about how to improve playing Sonic. 

This book is recommended for 7+.

The book cost £7.99 and will be released on the 8 August 2019. 

3. How To Be A Pro Gamer. 

Gaming is very popular with children and if you're looking for a book to help as a guide to be a pro-gamer then this is the one. 

This book is a step-to-step guide on everything you need to know when it comes to gaming. It explains what you need to play, how to play it and even how to get signed up to a pro team to start your own streaming channel. 

The age recommendation for this book is 11+. 

The book cost £7.99 and will be released on the 8 August 2019. 

4. Roald Dahl's Beastly Brutes & Heroic Human Beans. 

This is both my boy's favourite book as they are fans of Roald Dhal. It is a beautiful book full of the classic illustrations from Quentin Blake. 

The book is all about the famous characters from Roald Dhal's stories, there are the likes of Charlie and Grandpa Joe from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, Matilda and the BFG to name a few.  

The pages contain die-cut pages let the work come alive and it is simple to press out the parts of the page to reveal the characters. It is a fun way to get kids imagination going and bring the characters alive. 

There is also an envelope at the back of the book to keep your cut out characters safe and to continue to use them at a later date. 

The age recommendation for this book is 6+. 

The price of the book is £14.99 and the release day of the book is 8 august 2019. 

5. You Can Code. 

Coding is ever growing with the times of the technology world that we live in and they even learn it at reception age at school. 

A lot of children really enjoy learning about coding so this next book is brilliant information. The pictures are clear on how to go about coding whether it is making your own game or app then this book ticks all the boxes. 

It is clearly written and it is suitable for complete beginners. It is easy to learn with the fun step-to-step guides this will go down a treat. 

The age recommendation is for 9+. 

The book cost £8.99 and the book will be released on the 8 August 2019. 

Cheers for reading X 

This is an AD for Carlton. I was kindly gifted the books discussed above in exchange for a review. All opinions expressed are entirely my own. 

With or without anxiety

Hey readers,

I am struggling with my anxiety at the moment. One moment I feel like I am doing alright with life and then the next thing bang the darkness appears. I swear at times anxiety hates me, it is on 24-hour alert to catch me, especially when I am most venerable. 

It hates the fact that I am doing OK and hates to see me managing and getting on with life. My brain needs anxiety I feel, I can't relax and that is the biggest downfall. 

As I have experienced anxiety for so long where it is not there I worry about worrying if you know what I mean.

I have this inability to relax. I like the adrenaline at times, feeling alert and it almost feels like a way to clarify that I am alive and living.

I have had anxiety for most of my life that when I am not having anxiety I think it is my problem adapting to change. It feels weird to not have the anxiety around.

I am learning to try and let go, allow that anxiety to come and to try not to shy away from it. it is what it is, fear brings it on and that's not healthy either.

 I think being present at the moment with the anxiety is one of my biggest challenges. I can't believe how hard it is to just be and face the anxiety head-on.

 I am on alert, my body is tight, my muscles and mind hurt. Every night I have a splitting headache due to fighting this anxiety.

It feels like I am doing a mental workout, it is exhausting but with being anxiety warrior you can't deny resilience is there. 

Good or bad resilience it is in me and I keep on fighting when at times I just want to hide under a fort, but sadly I need to get up and go, with or without anxiety.

However, that being said I have spent years trying to get rid of this anxiety. Now, I am trying a new approach where I allow it to come, greet it with open arms. 

I don't want to be scared of anxiety anymore. I have autism as well and anxiety is a common trait for a lot of people on the spectrum including me. So, instead of trying to change it, I am going to acknowledge the anxiety.

 Sometimes the anxiety can be good, it might make me think twice about what I am doing. it may be anxiety cause let's face it not all anxiety is bad. 

I think the media portray it with negative connotations but you can use to your advantage.

The main line of this anxiety post is that I am trying to learn to live with the anxiety, accept it for what it is.

I don't put everything I have one then anxiety and know that it is the only sort of me. it doesn't define me and that actually in control of my life.

Cheers for reading X