Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Sunday, 28 June 2020

8 Things not to say to someone who is dealing with anxiety.

Hey readers,

As an individual who suffers from anxiety for a number of years, I have had my fair share of experiences involving people saying things to me that is not really helpful when you're trying to deal with anxiety.

So here is my 10 popular comments people have said that should not be said to someone who is suffering from anxiety.

1. Trendy.

Social media is a great tool in raising awareness of mental health. The downside is that some people may not be genuine in saying they have a mental health condition. 

They may say they have mental health issues to help with social media engagement or as an excuse for behaviour. Sadly the genuine people who suffer from anxiety get tarnished with the same brush.  

I know people use Google to self-diagnosis and in some cases the may be genuine. It is OK to talk about anxiety because how else are we going to raise awareness.

I think most people who say they suffer from anxiety are genuine suffers but sadly only takes a bad apple to affect a community. I didn't talk about my mental health for a long time to anyone or the odd person who I trusted.

 It takes a lot of courage for people who genuinely suffer from mental health. Trust me I do not see it as trendy. It is an ongoing battle and something if I could wave a magic wand make it disappear.

Sadly I can't make my anxiety vanish away and therefore have to focus on managing it rather than focus on a way of getting rid of it. 

I still get feelings at times of being ashamed if I am honest maybe because of past experiences of people turning a blind eye or not willing to talk about it has had an influence on me.

I am learning like everyone that talking helps and if you do suffer from mental health conditions then do be afraid of speaking up snout how it affects you.

2. Get over it. 

The amount of times I have been told to simply just get over it is unreal. Yeah sure mate I'll just click my fingers and get over it. It takes a lot of hard work to manage anxiety and you don't really know what is going on so don't assume that someone can just get over it!

3. Everything will be fine.

I know when people say this they mean it with good intention. However, anxiety is a devious little bugger and can really make you believe what you are feeling is real. Sometimes just listening to the anxieties helps a lot more helpful to say.

4. Calm down.

There is nothing more infuriating than someone telling you to calm down when you're in the grips of anxiety. 

It almost feels like when someone says calm down like they are not taking your feelings seriously. If anything saying calm down just triggers me and makes me angry which is not good either.

5. It's all in your head.

Of course, it is in my head, anxiety occurs in the mind right? One thing is for sure it is real, though some of the thoughts are maybe questionable in regards to the truth in relation to how the anxiety makes me feel.

6. Your such a weirdo.

There is nothing more encouraging than someone knocking you for suffering from anxiety. Just because it is different from the way you think or act does not make it OK calling someone a weirdo.

7. Have a drink you will feel better.

OK having a drink can be a relaxant however, we all know too much alcohol is a depressant. If drinking alcohol becomes a regular coping mechanism for dealing with anxiety it can actually hinder your mental health. 

Once the effects of feeling relaxed and letting go wear off alcohol tend to cause more anxiety which defeats the point anyway.

8. Other people are suffering much worse conditions then you are. 

This does not really help to compare a person to another person. We are all different and on our own journeys. Comments like this make you feel rubbish and reduce the likelihood of wanting to talk to you again about how you feel.

Have you experienced any of these observations? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

Navigating Baby

Wednesday, 31 July 2019


Hey readers,

As a long-term sufferer from anxiety, I have learned a lot on the way from experiencing anxiety. For one thing, anxiety is the pits!

 At times when feeling anxious, it feels very real especially when your heart is pounding so hard you feel that it may feel out of your body.

Over the years anxiety scared me ironically. I wanted to run away and try to hide from it but if you have ever suffered from anxiety then it will find you and you will be sure made aware of it. If anything running away from the anxiety actually makes it worse in my opinion and the experience I have had of anxiety.

Over the years I have come to one conclusion with anxiety is to accept it for what it is. Ok, it is a regular visitor but it is definitely not a friend because it is not very nice. But accepting it and feeling the feelings is ok, it doesn't make me a failure, which I believed for a very long time.

Accepting the anxiety and knowing that the anxious thoughts are not always true and sometimes my behaviour is just learned from all the years of fear. It is a warped way of protecting myself. 

Now I embrace it, I allow it to come. If I have a panic attack or breakdown in tears I let it come. It is ok and actually, it is so much more manageable than before. 

This mindset has helped. Likewise, with feelings of failure, I know that anxiety is something that may be with me all my life but it doesn't mean I am weak or I give in. I accept it and work with it the best I can at that time.

You have to ride with the anxiety like the waves of the sea. Sometimes I experience anxiety and it can be only a day where I am cribbled with intense dread. 

Other times I go through periods of total exhaustion, tearfulness, panic attacks etc. That is ok. It is ok not to be ok. It is ok not to be superhuman and it is ok to have anxiety. It doesn't make me less of a person. I am not anxiety, anxiety is part of me but there are many more layers to me.

I am still learning about my mental health, it is not easy especially when you are vulnerable and prone to the negativity it can catch you out, anxiety is a bugger like that. 

 But I am with wisdom moving on with anxiety, if it is there it is there but I am not going to run away from it or be scared of it anymore. I think this is one of the most valuable lessons that I have learned in life. I am not superhuman but I can feel and appreciate the feelings. 

They belong to me and I can respond to them anyway I chose. It is my life and the anxiety does not control me, I am the controller of anxiety.

Cheers for reading X

Friday, 26 July 2019

With or without anxiety

Hey readers,

I am struggling with my anxiety at the moment. One moment I feel like I am doing alright with life and then the next thing bang the darkness appears. I swear at times anxiety hates me, it is on 24-hour alert to catch me, especially when I am most venerable. 

It hates the fact that I am doing OK and hates to see me managing and getting on with life. My brain needs anxiety I feel, I can't relax and that is the biggest downfall. 

As I have experienced anxiety for so long where it is not there I worry about worrying if you know what I mean.

I have this inability to relax. I like the adrenaline at times, feeling alert and it almost feels like a way to clarify that I am alive and living.

I have had anxiety for most of my life that when I am not having anxiety I think it is my problem adapting to change. It feels weird to not have the anxiety around.

I am learning to try and let go, allow that anxiety to come and to try not to shy away from it. it is what it is, fear brings it on and that's not healthy either.

 I think being present at the moment with the anxiety is one of my biggest challenges. I can't believe how hard it is to just be and face the anxiety head-on.

 I am on alert, my body is tight, my muscles and mind hurt. Every night I have a splitting headache due to fighting this anxiety.

It feels like I am doing a mental workout, it is exhausting but with being anxiety warrior you can't deny resilience is there. 

Good or bad resilience it is in me and I keep on fighting when at times I just want to hide under a fort, but sadly I need to get up and go, with or without anxiety.

However, that being said I have spent years trying to get rid of this anxiety. Now, I am trying a new approach where I allow it to come, greet it with open arms. 

I don't want to be scared of anxiety anymore. I have autism as well and anxiety is a common trait for a lot of people on the spectrum including me. So, instead of trying to change it, I am going to acknowledge the anxiety.

 Sometimes the anxiety can be good, it might make me think twice about what I am doing. it may be anxiety cause let's face it not all anxiety is bad. 

I think the media portray it with negative connotations but you can use to your advantage.
The main line of this anxiety post is that I am trying to learn to live with the anxiety, accept it for what it is.

I don't put everything I have one then anxiety and know that it is the only sort of me. it doesn't define me and that actually in control of my life.

Cheers for reading X

Monday, 13 May 2019

5 things to remember when you feeling anxious.

Hey readers,

When in the depths of anxiety it can feel like aq turmoil in your brain. It can be hard to get past the feelings of anxiety. So here are five things to remember when you are feeling anxious.

1. It will pass. 

I know this probably obvious to people however when you are experiencing anxiety it is hard to see anything else. But remember it will pass as time goes on and they feels will end. Hold on to this thought and if you can reflect back to previous feelings of anxiety and remember that they passed.

2. Facts. 

Remember that anxiety thoughts are not facts but feelings. You don't have to believe them as they are just thoughts. There are millions of thoughts going through your mind and you have the choice to listen to them or not put any value on them, It is amazing when you let go the anxiety thoughts will disperse, however, it holds work so stick with it be worth it in the end. 

3. Change.

Sometimes it is easy to opt to stay in one place and feeding them anxious thoughts. A good way to help think about something else is to change the scenery, it does not have to be complicated it could simply be a walk down the road or around your local park. Changing the scenery is great for the mind especially getting fresh air makes a big difference. 

4. You are not alone. 

When going through an anxious time it can help so lonely and like you are the only one person suffering from anxiety, however, that is not true and there are many people who suffer from anxiety and from all walks of life. It doesn't matter what your age, wealth or background anyone could experience in anxiety. It is a known fact that people in the UK 1 in 4 people experience mental health problems each year. 

5. It is ok. 

It is ok not to be ok. It is ok to have anxiety and sometimes just accepting the anxiety can help reduce the stress and pressure that builds up from the stress of worrying about it all.  

Cheers for reading X

Tuesday, 1 January 2019

how to deal with Impostor Syndrome

Hey readers,

Do you feel a fraud by your achievements? that you somehow you are not worthy of the work that you have achieved? Well, this phenomenon is called Impostor syndrome and it is very common indeed. But how do you deal with this? well, let me give you some ways to help deal with imposter syndrome below.


Like everything I guess the starter point would be to acknowledge how you are feeling and that these feelings are a result of Impostor Syndrome. Awareness is a valuable skill in recognising the way you respond to your achievements, so the first step in dealing with Impostor Syndrome.

scenic view of forest during night time


Being open and upfront about how you feel towards your achievements with others can be valuable because you can connect with other people who feel similar. You can also seek out help and knowledge from others who have experienced Impostor syndrome and how they have overcome the feelings that they once felt.


One way of facing Impostor Syndrome is accepting the achievements you have achieved and appreciate the work that you have put in. Challenge the thoughts even writing down the original thought and replacing it with a positive can help change that faulty thinking pattern.

Focus on yourself.

With Impostor Syndrome comes low confidence in yourself and one of the worst things you can do is compare yourself to others. You need to let go of thinking why you couldn't reach the level of success that so and so has achieved. Acknowledging that your success is good enough, no one is perfect and you worked dame hard to get where you have reached. Let's face it we are all on our own journey.

brown wooden dock over body of water


One of the things that I have noticed through my own experience of Impostor Syndrome is that I downplay any positive praise that I receive. I instantly reply with a negative and the one way to help grow your confidence and kick Impostor Syndrome is to accept praise for what it is. You don't justify it but say thank you. You don't need to deny the feedback, own it, it is yours.


Mindfulness is a way to train your brain to appreciate the moment and not focus on what you do not have. It is kind of like focusing on the positives as it can be very easy to notice the negatives that have occurred.


Remember you have the power to choose what you want to listen to and take it on board. It is only relevant if you put that importance on to it. You can choose to take it or leave it, you are in control of your thoughts.

brown wooden dock over body of water


Get into the habit of praising yourself - be your own personal supporter, write down the positives. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel good about your achievements. It is ok to feel good about the work you have achieved it doesn't make you big headed because at the end of the day you worked hard to achieve your success so why not celebrate it.

Cheers for reading X