Tuesday, 12 March 2019

10 signs of a mombie

Hey readers,

Even heard of the term mombie or do you think you may be one yourself, well I have 10 telltale tales below. 

1. Caffeine. 

You only function when you have coffee in the morning and let's face it has to be about three cups of stone cold coffee. 

2 Bedtime.

Never has the thought about going to bed been so sexy. It appears that the mombies fantasize about bedtime rather frequently during the day and she doesn't care about getting the latest trendy clothing oh no sleep rules fact. 

3. Dishes.

You thought as you sat on the sofa half dead that evening that, sod it! I don't need to wash the dishes this evening because I am too tired. The dishes can be done in the morning. Turns at the following morning you are extremely miffed about the idea of doing the dishes in the morning. *Doh, hand me my cold cofffee*. 

4. Forgetfulness.

Due to suffering from mombie, it appears that you are forgetful 90% of the day. Many times has the mombie walked into a room and just completely forgot what the hell she is doing in here. 

5. Tip.

Looking at your home it is a tip because let's face it mombies are too tired at this point to even give a sh*t what Kim and Aggie would make of it, that is what cupboards are for hiding the mess ;). 

6. Fashion. 

The ultimate conundrum is whether it's worth getting changed or just hang out in your pj's with no bra on all day long looking like Waynette Slob and actually not giving a f*ck.

7. Sleepyhead. 

When a mombie looks in the mirror she will resemble a panda with your dark black circles around your eyes, hell she could fit right in at the zoo.

8. Zone out. 

When you see a mombie she will look vacant in the face as almost as if mentally she is not here and you would be right. Zoning out is an art form that a mombie will have perfected during her time being a mum. 

9. Snooze. 

Mombies where ever possible will seek the opportunity to have some shut eye. One competition a mombie has to face is being stealth mode in trying to not get the child to see the mombie shut her eyes. She loves kids telly for only one reason and that is for her to get the change to have a snooze when the child is not looking. 

10. Emotional.

With a mombie you get exhaustion which causes havoc on the old emotion. One minute the mombie maybe in a jolly mood the next she may be rocking in the corner as she has only realised that it is only 9 am in the sodding morning.

 Also, mombie has a predator 'the husband' who can not be tamed with passive aggressive comments to attack the target with, unless he supplies mombie with a hot coffee then all is forgiven. 

Do you identify with a mombie? love to hear your thoughts below. 

Cheers for  reading X 


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