Sunday, 30 December 2018

Review of Legoland Discovery Centre Birmingham.

Hey readers,

The other day we went on a family day out to Legoland discovery centre in Birmingham.


The attraction is located.
LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Birmingham will be based at Arena Birmingham (opposite The National SEA LIFE Centre Birmingham).
King Edwards Rd, Birmingham B1 2AA

Opening times.
Weekends: 10am - 7pm (last admission to the attraction at 5pm).
Weekdays: 10am - 5pm (Last admission to the attraction at 3pm).

Cost of attraction.
£15 pp online or £20 pp pay at the desk.

After you sort out tickets at the reception desk you then go into the area near the lift, you will then get photos which are put onto a Lego background which when you go further into the centre you have the option to buy them if you want to.

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Kingdom Quest.

Next, you go into the lift and down a level where you begin the fun. The first thing to do if you want to the ride where you go on a boat around an area where you have to play guns where you can hit targets to win points. This was really fun and we all really enjoyed taken part in that. The ride last for approximately five minutes.

Miniland.

Once you follow down the aisle and then you enter another room which is amazing lego build display covering all the Iconic Birmingham buildings such as The Bull Ring, Cadbury's world and Aston Villa football stadium to name a few. There are also interactive sections where you can spin the wheel and race the boats down the canal.

We went at Christmas time and we had a sheet where we had to find x amount of elves and all the different reindeers dotted about the room - that was good fun to go hunting for them.

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The Ultimate Lego Playground.

After exploring that room we moved on to the next room which is the main activity hub. There is a section on the left and focuses on the Lego friend characters with the female friends dotted about the section. There were sections where you can build at the table your own creations or add onto other peoples work that has been left behind.

Of course, no great child attraction would be complete with the soft play which is based on Lego city with the theme of the construction, fire and police centre. Lots of soft padded floor to run around, climb and slide down the slide.

There is a bigger section between the soft play and Lego friends with loads of bricks to make your own creations.

There is an area in the room next to the soft play that has lockers where you can store your items (cost £1) to lock it up. Also, a place where you can leave your pushchairs.

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4D cinema.

There is also the 4D cinema with a Lego film based and there are water, air, wind, snow and the feeling of figures coming out of the screen all good fun if you like to feel the experience.
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Duplo farm.

There is a section for toddlers to freely play without the fear of them bumping to older children. There are bigger blocks for smaller hands (Duplo), a slide, and a small section where the child can climb and go down a slide safely. There is a big friendly cow that they can sit on and play with.
At the back of the room is another ride where you peddle to make it go up and down - which is a great thrilling ride.
There is also a section where you can build your own lego cars and test them out on the lego tracks with slops that make them go down fast.
There is a table with bricks where you can build buildings and test them out on the wobble board - where you press the button to make the square of land wobble.

Cafe.

There is a cafe in the activity centre area where you can buy cold drinks and Costa hot drinks such as hot chocolate and coffee. There is also lunch sandwich meals if you wish.

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There are also toilets in the area to access plus disabled toilets and baby changing section.

Overall.

I was surprised at how long we stayed here - there was plenty to see in different formats. My 5 and 7 year old really enjoyed it especially the mini land and the interaction element.

Of course, they loved running around together in the soft play and also experimenting with the bricks to come up with their own creations. In actual fact, my eldest took part in the festive build to come up with your own design which was a Santa sleigh and won which my eldest was so proud about and he won the reindeer set as a price.

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The staff were friendly and helpful. The places were in top form, clean and plenty of bins which I think is a good thing and doesn't make the place look messy.

I definitely recommend it for any child who likes bricks and likes to explore and create.

Cheers of reading X

i have accepted I am on anti-depressants for the rest of my life.

Hey readers,

Let me tell you a little secret about me, I take anti-depressants. I have on and off them for years. I have been on my present pills since 2010.

I have to accept the fact that I am going to be on them for the rest of my life and that is ok, I have no shame. It is ok to be on anti-depressants if you want them, don't feel bad because they are viewed as a quick exit. Of course, they don't cure my mental health problems but they give me a breather to think more clearly and make better decisions which impact my life on a whole for the better.

bunch of white oval medication tablets and white medication capsules

I have tried to come off them because I was better but wasn't turned out to be more crippling and forgot what them nasty feelings were like. I don't like them, I don't want to live and I go to a very dark place, which is horrible to experience. I don't want that in my life and if there is something that can help then I will grab it happily now with two hands.

Let's be frank anti-depressants don't remove the mental health. They are a quick solution because they in a short space of time have an impact and you can see improvement. Of course, tablets aren't the be-all and end-all but they help.

Talking also helps and all the other therapies that you can access. That too is ok to do and you have to do what is right for you. People are quick to judge if you dare say you are on anti-depressants, you can often get the mentality of some people who assume you are a drama queen and just taking them because they are trendy. Maybe more people take them and be honest about it means that people actually do suffer from mental health problems and not just physical health. I don't see anyone having a go out a person with cancer taking their medication - if anything more sympathy and understanding.

I think some people assume that if you take antidepressants somehow you are weak because you can't sort out your life and you rely on something other then yourself to get out of the situation. This is not true, having the courage to step up, go to the doctors and seek help is much braver then most people think.

person holding medication pill and capsules

I felt ashamed for years and forced myself off medication when really I should have been on it. It would have improved my quality of life. I fell down the hole of despair of feeling rubbish to take some pills to help my state of mind

Not any more, I now lucky have to come to the realisation that doesn't matter what people think about pills. My happiness is more important and doing the best to help me should be a priority. Accepting tablets are absolutely fine and if I have to take them the rest of my life so be it, no biggy it is ok to take medication to help improve your health.

Cheers for reading X

Pinterest trends that are going to be popular in 2019.

Hey readers,

Do you wonder what is going to be trendy in 2019? Well, apparently Pinterest can make predictions of trends for 2019. So I have selected some popular trend predictions for 2019 below.

Lilac hair.

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Lilac locks are in with lots of people enjoying creating a pastel colour in the hair. It is steadily becoming really popular.

Women’s grey hair.

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This trend I am rooting for because women should celebrate their hair going grey and embracing it and why not? Men can and the more we celebrate the normal and natural features of women the better.
Apparently, it is becoming increasingly popular to not go on holiday during the summer time but opting to check out places during the Autumn period (let’s face it is a lot cheaper when it is out of season).

Abandoned castles.

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I like this trend very much because one it is cheaper as it tends not to be a tourist attraction, therefore, there is no prices normally and no gift shop = saving you money whilst still having a jolly good day out, whoop!

Bus travel.

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This trend is becoming more popular for people trying to live a more frugal live and that is choosing to travel by bus instead of getting a car. It also has the added benefit of being a more environmentally friendly style to travel.

Bold walls.

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When researching the interior trends of 2019 one thing that stood out was the trend of bold walls in the home. There has been a 45 per cent increase in people searching for the colour mustard on Pinterest. Other types of styles are tropical wallpaper and geometric paint.

Painted floor tiles.

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Until researching Pinterest trends I have never heard of the term painted floor tiles. If you haven’t heard of it either then in a short summary it is paint that you can use on tiles to give your floor a more update. This saves money because you don’t need to spend a fortune on flooring just the paint and a brush to do it yourself.

Making bread.

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It seems making stuff for yourself in the kitchen is a firm favourite to return especially with making things like bread.

Foil pack dinners.

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This is now a thing where it means less prep and less mess. Where you stick your food into a foil and then you can open it up and not bother with plates either, result.

Doughnut display.

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Do not worry doughnuts are not just for eating but also decorative party interior with their fun design what is not to love.

What 2019 trends have you spotted that look interesting? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 30/12/2018

5 things I have in my bag

Hey readers,

When I go outside of my home I always feel the need to, have a bag with me. of course, now and again there are times when I do such as popping down the road for something quick. However, most of the time I will carry a bag, it feels part of my outfit and if I don't have a bag on me I feel lost without.

Anyhow, in this post, I am going to open my bag and tell you the five things that are essential items to have in my bag.

1. keys.

I think having keys is one of the most important items to have if you have a home and take responsibility in looking after it. There is nothing worse than feeling like you have lost your keys. I make sure my keys are secure in a separate department in my bag from security.

2. purse.

Having a purse in my bag is important not only to hold my money and the piles of receipts in it but about I reckon 10,000 loyalty cards also. My special loyalty card has to be my Ikea family card because during the week it allows you to have free tea, whoop. Life is much better when you have a cup of tea when shopping.

3. Tissues.

Someone somehow needs a tissue although to be fair it is normally my husband who uses most of my tissues. Though when your parent the number of colds and constant snot dribbles when they start school is also important to keep an emergency supply of tissues in my bag. I really should have shares in Kleenex.

3. Lip balm.

For years now I have had lip balm in my bag. I have quite dry lips and often get quite thirsty so to help I whack a bit of lip moisture on the old lips to keep them from cracking especially during in winter grrrrr.

4. Hairbrush.

I have a handy pocket hairbrush that when you push one side the bristles pop out and on the side is a handy mirror to check your hair is neat and give it a brush over especially during the winter weather when my hair at times can resemble a birds nest, haha.

5. Bus pass.

My bus pass helps me with my autism and trying to live more independently. I can use my bus pass when I need to escape a stressful situation. It provides me with access to all the buses.  I have lost my bus pass several times as I am clumsy or get anxious and can sort of forget everything else that is happening. I have learnt to keep my bus pass next to my keys in the secure pocket of my bag. This is because my bus pass is really important to me and if I lose it I feel like poop.

What things do you have in your bag and that toy can't live without?

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 16 December 2018

Christmas Gift Guide Part 2 2018 *AD*

Hey readers,

I am sure we all know that Christmas is less than 5 weeks away, eek. So here are some items that I liked that would make great Christmas presents this year.

First I have this beautiful solar system bracelet. It has all the solar systems on the bracelet and thinks it is amazing. It is hand made from Leviko Designs and you can buy the item on her Etsy store.

 This is a lovely gift if you’re looking to give something a bit unusual for someone who is into science.
 I like the fact it is handmade and made on order, just makes it feel that bit more special. When receiving the bracelet it came in a beautiful box. The bracelet was tied to ribbon inside of the box to make it secure.
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The solar system beads themselves are matte labradorite for Mercury, picture jasper for Venus, chrysocolla for Earth, matte red jasper for Mars, tiger's eye stone for Jupiter, coffee striped agate with a silver-tone bead frame for Saturn, and blue striped agate for Uranus and Neptune.

The beads themselves are volcanic lava beads and semi-precious gemstones. It has a silver clasp to secure the bracelet around the wrist so it is safe and secure to wear about. It would give character to your outfit and is a unisex item that could be suitable for anyone looking for something a bit different.

I am a lover of books and luckily so are my boys so the next item is right up their street with the adaption of Tim Burton’s classic A Nightmare before Christmas. 

It is a 48-page book and it is a story about Jack Skellington's adventure when he stumbles into Christmas and how he has taken it upon himself to replace Santa. However, this does not go well and all hell breaks loose. A very good story to keep you on edge.

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It is a story that is engaging and full of rhythm to keep children wanting to carry on reading right till the end. Both my boys love reading books with a slight dark edge to them. Of course, not only children will like this story but adults too would love to receive this item if they are a fan of Disney or Tim Burton's film.

That is why is this personalised Nightmare before Christmas book is perfect as it is beautifully illustrated.

 You can get the book from The Gift Experience. The books come in a box to make it super special and you can also get names placed on the book to give it that personal touch - not only that each page has the name at the top.

The book is black-bound and with gold writing to make it feel luxurious. The book also comes in a Disney Timeless gift box making it a beautifully designed item to give someone special at Christmas.

Another beautiful book is The Christmas Next door by T.A. Creaser. If you are doing Christmas Eve boxes then this would make an excellent book choice for your child. You can buy the book here by Owlet press.

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The story tells an important message about consumerism and that it is important to share time with loved ones and being nice to one another. 

Sometimes, you can't always get what you want or something goes wrong. Such as the oven breaking down, which happened in this story and though it is hard taking the good things can make you still enjoy the time together.

At the end of the day happy memories are more valuable than whether you have received the latest gadgets. It really is a beautiful story that brings home a happy and positive message. 

There is also a side story regarding the loss of grandad's wife and it talks about feels with death and I feel it is done in a very sensitive way for young children.

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It is a good way to help discuss the loss to children and my son really was engaged and wanted to know more regarding Grandad why he felt sadness and how he moved forward with the grief of losing a special person in his life.

Cheers for reading X

This is an advertisement feature. I was given all the items in the post for free in exchange for a review. All opinions expressed are entirely my own. 

Tuesday, 11 December 2018

Update your kitchen with Kitchen Warehouse UK

Hey readers,

Sometimes, our home space needs updating. I know mine sure does and with money, I definitely would start in my kitchen.

  A good online company that is a kitchen manufacturer is Kitchen Warehouse UK, who is a company that is based in North Yorkshire and have been running their business for 14 years. The focus is on making bespoke kitchen designs that meet your needs and wants. They have a good repetition and someone that you can trust as a business to do good customer service for you.

Having a browse on Kitchen Warehouse UK   there are many kitchen products I would love to consider if I update my kitchen.
The first area that I think is important to consider when thinking of updating your kitchen would be the kitchen units - as they tend to be the kitchen item that would take up a large of a portion of space overall.

Kitchen Warehouse UK over a variety of different bespoke kitchen units. I really like the idea of the solid wood I just think it looks very versatile and can go with different colours.l Not to mention that it is a sturdy material.

Wakefield solid wood kitchen units offer a solid wood finish to the kitchen units. They have the traditional with the oak wood finish however they have a modern element to it.



The colour is a rich one that isn't too bold or dark that would draw light to the kitchen. The drawers inside the cupboards have roomy space which is what you need essentially in the kitchen with all the utensils and food that you need to store.

The finish to the cupboards is used with simple lines that give a sense of cleanness and modern feel to it. The colour of the kitchen units is an oak effect.

The Wakefield solid oak cupboards use the highest grade - A* so you know you are getting quality material that will last and look good too.

The delivery of the cupboards come as flat packs, however, do not fear as the instructions are clear and easy to follow the step by step guide to building up the wooden cupboards.

Also, not to forget to mention that all the cupboards and doors used in Wakefield's oak wood range kitchen furniture come with Hettich soft closing hinges and drawer boxes with the necessary mechanisms required such as height adjustable legs, hanging brackets and wall mounting plates.

With regards to delivery, an order can take between seven to ten working days. You can qualify for free UK mainland delivery if you have an order that is over £1000. Free brushed steel 220mm T-Bar handle. The prices Inc. VAT.

The door/drawer frontages are included in with the overall price given.  The Wakefield comes with German soft close hinges/drawers.
High Gloss Handleless Wakefield Unit & Door

There is a variety of different kitchen cupboard styles that you can choose on the website that suits your style or how the layout of your kitchen is. The type of style of kitchen cupboards is fridge freezer unit or a wall unit. This provides plenty of option so that you can get the best fit for you and your kitchen.
Cheers for reading X

This is an advertorial feature. I was sponsored for this post, however, all opinions expressed are entirely my own.

Monday, 10 December 2018

Cycles

Hey readers,

I am writing this whilst I go through a hyper-focus period. I can't sleep, my mind is so wired. Instead, I am writing this post whilst listening to old David Bowie interviews - just off the record such a good interviewee and has really interesting thoughts.



Anyhow, I feel like I go through periods in my life where I experience different types of emotions and states of minds. I guess we all do but for me and my autism, it feels stronger and less diluted in the intensity.

When I get to the start of by an obsession of me and it causes me to be I go in lockdown and want to know everything there is regarding that obsession I have. The types of obsession I experience is fact-based such as a person like David Bowie or the Victorian era is my current recent one. I fixate on a person more the mechanisms of the history of their legacy as it were. I watch and read loads until I get something else stuck in my head to obsess. However, this period is short lived until I have exhausted myself out of all the information possible that I can find or I get bored and move onto another obsession. I also notice when I start my obsession I tend to have a lot of uncertainties around me, it feels like comfort and something to focus on that is solid rather the very uncertainties of my life.
However, there comes a point where I lose sleep because I have too much energy that I basically need to burn off in order to get back the equilibrium in mind settings. Which again is very common for someone with autism I have found when reading about other peoples experiences on the topic of obsessions and autism.

After I have allowed myself to be recuperated I get a send of under-stimulation - which personally is worse than over stumbled because I feel more alive when I am wired then bored and need something to focus on.

This pattern repeats itself unless I am depressed or suicidal (don't worry this has happened a handful of times) I tend to be more of a moper and feel sorry for myself. It takes a lot of energy to keep on top of my emotional health. 
The energy supply can only last so long. It is something I have to keep on check or else I get burnt out or have a meltdown, the latter is worse because it is emotionally drained. At least with a shut down I literally do that and not use any energy to do anything else but hide away for a while in my room until I have the energy to get back up and carry on again. 


So, that is where I am at. I get frustrated at times because I see people who are bobbing along Inn the middle.i just feel I am fighting between two extremes. I guess that is just the way that my brain is wired with the either all or nothing. I just got to ride it out.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 9 December 2018

Alternative Christmas present guide (2018) **AD**

Hey readers,

This guide is to help people who don't want something traditional but a little bit different to get excited about this Christmas.

DNA testing Kit.

I will kick off with this interesting idea called Find my past DNA sampling kit. If someone that you know is interested in learning about your past history and relatives then this is the present for them.

It is basically you will receive a kit that includes activation code to set up an online account and this will be where you find out about your results. In the kit that will be sent directly via post in a box and inside, there is a testing kit. 

You can't drink for one hour after that time you swipe your mouth with the swab around anti-clockwise for about 45 seconds giving that enough time to collect some check cells. This then gets closed up ceiled in a bag and then you place it into the prepaid envelope to get your details tested.

Once the test sample is received you will be given details on your online account about information about past relatives, where they are from, what parts of the country they are from. Great if you want to find more about your family tree.

 Really simple to do and clear instructions on each step. The kits themselves are dispatched between 5-7 working days.

IMG_1431 What the sampling kit looks like when received in the post.

dna sample 1 Inside the kit instructions, sealed envelope, swab, and pre-paid envelope.

IMG_1444 Taking a swab of my inside cell checks to send off to get tested.
pre paid envelope This is what the sealed envelope looks like.

Mystery box.

Mystery Boxes
Next on the list is the very popular trend that has occurred on Youtube and that is a mystery box.

 You get to send a box of random items through on Firebox you can select the kind of items you want such as gadget, unusual, foodie etc. 

It is great fun because there is that thrill of not knowing what to expect and opening up is a big surprise. It can either go two ways - really amazing stuff or absolutely pants. But hey the surprise and not knowing is what it is about.

Frefall Abseil at The ArcelorMittal Orbit.


This idea is for the person in your life who is an adrenaline junkie and gets their kicks out of risking their own life. I present you freefall abseil at the ArcelorMittal Orbit in London. You can buy this experience from Red Letter Days

You can't say this is not unique. What it comprises of abseiling down the tallest sculpture in the United Kingdom. It is located in Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park and showcases a stunning 115 metres in height. You can see iconic places such as the London Olympics. 

It is also a freefall abseil. Ascend to a platform on 80 metres up and take in the sky-high views of London. whilst being attached to the specially-designed safety system by expert Wire and Sky staff.

 Then take a deep breath, lean back and abseil down without touching anything until the ground is reached. Relish the scary yet exhilarating feeling of being mid-air and marvel at views of the Gherkin, St. Paul's, the O2 Arena and more on the way down. The duration of the experience lasts for two hours of pure excitement.

Cheers for reading X

This is an advertisement feature. I was given a Living DNA kit for free in exchange for a review. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.

Saturday, 8 December 2018

Sensory Overload

Hey readers,

Today is a wet and miserable Saturday. I took the boys to go and see Santa because it was the best day for us with everything else that's happening in the run-up to Christmas. Also, like to mention husband was here as well so I had that support him.

I thought it would be a good time to take my eldest who is potentially autistic though we are in the process of getting him assessed.

I thought if he has a less busy day he may be able to manage better. However, that did not seem to be the case. He struggled with the experience. I don't know why but husband commented on the fact that his heart was racing and he was asking million and one questions. Overall, he was just generally really anxious and agitated.

Anyway, we decided to go to Sainsbury's which is just across the road from where we have been to see Santa in town. I wish I could stay outside with the boys because I hate going to the supermarket with other people, especially at a really busy supermarket.

 Of course, it was absolutely pouring it down. Why is it when it pours down and you feel meh it just makes it feel much worse.

I haven't been to a supermarket on a Saturday for a very long time and safe to say I still hate it with a passion, now I understand why I avoid it at all costs.

Not only was I struggles but also both boys were too. I don't think it helped that they were tired after walking about and with all the excitement of seeing Santa.

My eldest who decided to kick off in the supermarket and just say no to everything, however, we did give him a toy to help keep his mind occupied rather than focus on the anxiety.

 At this point, I was slowly beginning to crack up because I was really struggling with so many different factors I was on the brink of having a meltdown.

I generally forgot how bright the lights in the ceiling really affects my vision. Not to mention the noise was so loud, people were here and there with no order. My boys were arguing and demanding for this and that.

I had anxiety already as I knew my son could potentially kick off at any minute.

I needed to get out and I did I think at the right time. I feel a failure now because I just can't cope. Why did I have children? these type of questions circler my head because I am rubbish and still can't believe my husband allowed me to have children.

Yes, this is in the moment but these feelings are strong and they are hard to leave them behind. I am feeling yet again like an inadequate parent. I know that is the difficult part of having autism as a parent with having to face many a challenge. 

Somedays I can manage where others all I want to do is break down in a crumble and hideaway. So, I decided to write down my feelings in this blog post to help me accept the situation and not let it eat away internally.

Cheers for reading X

Tuesday, 4 December 2018

Seeing Santa at Coventry Transport museum.

Hey readers,

On Saturday I took both my boys to see the big man (Santa) locally to where we live. The Santa's grotto is held in Coventry Transport Museum which is in a perfect location to travel to as it is in the city centre - so very well easy to get to if you live locally or want to come and visit Coventry.

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Going to visit is not like any other typical Santa's grotto - oh no you start of entering the room full of Christmas decorations, twinkly lights and Christmas songs blasting out of the speakers. It is great visual festive decor to get you feeling reading for Christmas.

Once you have gone through the line to the reception at the front you pay for tickets at the desk. You then depending on who is before you go through the door where you go take a seat on the sleigh.

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The price of tickets and times. 

• The Santa vintage sleigh ride is open right up to Sunday 23 December. However, I would recommend going early as it gets very popular closer to Christmas and you could be waiting a long time in the queues.

• Monday - Friday - 11am till 5pm (last ride 4:30pm).

• Weekends - 9 am till 5 pm (Lat right at 4:30 pm).

• Children £6 / accompanying adult (up to three adults per child) £1.50. Entry fee includes a gift per child.

• Adult £5 (Individuals or where groups of adults exceed the three adults per child limit).

The sleigh is a mechanical moving transporter - it has a beautiful decoration with reindeers at the front, sparkling twinkly lights on the ceiling and Christmas decorations with tinsel etc. 

It is dark so bear that in mind but you can see with the low lights and the violet lighting that glows the reindeers of nicely.

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Once you have reached the North Pole, takes approximately maybe three or four minutes. The sleigh door is open at the back for you and your family to step out into the festive corridor. You probably have to wait may a couple of minutes. That is ok as they have activities such as finding the words in the word search on the chalk walk. Plenty of things to see whilst waiting to meet Father Christmas.

When it is your turn you hand your ticket to the Elf and then you can go into the room to see Santa. Bear in mind it will be just family that are in the room with Elf and Santa and it is private as the door frame has a fabric sheet that closes you off t others. Therefore, if you do have a shy child then they only have to worry about Santa.

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Now Santa is sitting on the chair waiting to hear about whether your child has been good this year. He is very friendly and makes you feel welcome. Both my boys were fine talking to him and Santa asked the odd question such as whether you are going to leave a mince pie out on Christmas Eve. 

Then they give out a present to each child which is wrapped in a bag so they have fun with the surprise of guesses what they get. The presents are what you can Santa grotto will have, both my boys received a dinosaur which is good because then there is no squabbling about the other one getting something different.

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The meeting lasted a max of 5 minutes. We were then lead over to the exit door by the Elf which takes you back to the beginning in the waiting area. You just go out to the door on the right and you are right back at Coventry Transport museum entrance. So, there is no panics about getting lost if you are unfamiliar with where you are going.

Overall, it is a good experience as you get the sleigh ride as well. I am quite attached to it personally because I did the same thing as a child bar the fact that Santa grotto was in a completely different location.

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It is a lovely festive treat if you're into that then do go check it out.

Cheers for reading X

Sensory Overload

Hey readers,

Today is a wet and miserable Saturday. I took the boys to go and see Santa because it was the best day for us with everything else that's happening in the run-up to Christmas. Also, like to mention husband was here as well so I had that support him.

I thought it would be a good time to take my eldest who is potentially autistic though we are in the process of getting him assessed.

I thought if he has a less busy day he may be able to manage better. However, that did not seem to be the case. He struggled with the experience. I don't know why but husband commented on the fact that his heart was racing and he was asking million and one questions. Overall, he was just generally really anxious and agitated.

Anyway, we decided to go to Sainsbury's which is just across the road from where we have been to see Santa in town. I wish I could stay outside with the boys because I hate going to the supermarket with other people, especially at a really busy supermarket. Of course, it was absolutely pouring it down. Why is it when it pours down and you feel meh it just makes it feel much worse.

I haven't been in a supermarket on a Saturday for a very long time and safe to say I still hate it with a passion, now I understand why I avoid it at all costs.

Not only was I struggles but also both boys were too. I don't think it helped that they were tired after walking about and with all the excitement of seeing Santa.

My eldest who decided to kick off in the supermarket and just say no to everything, however, we did give him a toy to help keep his mind occupied rather than focus on the anxiety. At this point, I was slowly beginning to crack up because I was really struggling with so many different factors I was on the brink of having a meltdown.

I generally forgot how bright the lights in the ceiling really affects my vision. Not to mention the noise was so loud, people were here and there with no order. My boys were arguing and demanding for this and that.

I had anxiety already as I knew my son could potentially kick off at any minute.
I needed to get out and I did I think at the right time. I feel a failure now because I just can't cope. Why did I have children? these type of questions circler my head because I am rubbish and still can't believe my husband allowed me to have children.

Yes, this is in the moment but these feelings are strong and they are hard to leave them behind. I am feeling yet again like an inadequate parent. I know that is the difficult part of having autism as a parent with having to face many a challenge. Somedays I can manage where others all I want to do is break down in a crumble and hideaway. So, I decided to write down my feelings in this blog post to help me accept the situation and not let it eat away internally.

Cheers for reading X

Thursday, 22 November 2018

Hey readers,

This week's word of the week is:

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As you are aware my son goes to beavers and each week one of the beavers gets to take home the cuddly beaver for a week. Well, this week it was my eldest turn, though it could have been my youngest as he too is a beaver now. So, at the weekend we have been carrying him about and on Saturday we took the beaver on a nature work to get some photos in. The beaver was so lucky he even got to go down the slide....Haha!

My boys share a bed together and of course, beaver had been taking part in a sleepover. I went into the bedroom the other night to see beaver the beaver tucked right in the middle between my two boys, cuteness overload.

I think the hardest part of having beaver is that my son gets very attached to him, so when we have to return the beaver he gets distraught. We have been telling him that he need let other children have a go because it is important to share and that if he is good then he may come back another week. This has helped him understand and feel a bit calmer.
Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 18 November 2018

My Sunday photo 18/11/2018