Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts

Monday, 16 November 2020

Quiet is good because...

Hey readers,

The world we live in feels noisy, we have constant buzzing everywhere you look. In some cases, it is good to have a noise for distraction or entertainment.

Quiet is good because...

 However, I believe that there is a time for everything and sometimes it is good to be quiet.

Sometimes, when it is quiet you can think more clearly and listen to your internal monologue. You can listen to the thoughts clearer and given them more order.

During times of quiet, it is a great opportunity for productivity with no distractions around allows you to focus and concentration on the job in hand.

 It means a better quality as your main goal is the one thing rather than having lots of noise in your head.

Being quiet when listening to others is really helpful giving the speaker a chance to express themselves and feeling that they are being heard can make all the difference to the outcome at the end. 

EVIEWHY calm zen eviewhy composure GIF

Even if they have no solutions giving the person that time to communicate without interruptions makes them feel as if something positive has been done and that they are heard.

It is good to be just in the moment and being mindful of everything around you, taking it all and accepting what life has to offer and taking that time to disconnect.

"The quieter you become 
the more 
you can hear.” — Baba

When there are fewer distractions it gives you the chance to take your environment in. That is why meditation is good because it slows everything right down and allowing you to relax. 

It is important to focus on the present and slow down. It can help your health both physically or mentally because you are less tense and more in control. 

There is less noise which equates to less thinking due to a reduction in the information that gets into your brain.

The Videobook art coffee ocean calm GIF

Even if you do five minutes a day of quiet time it can give you the change to slow down and enjoy that moment.

What do you think about the idea of quiet? What are your experiences? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

Wednesday, 4 November 2020

Ways to help deal with anxiety

Hey readers,

I have autism and what accompanies that is anxiety. I don’t think you can permanently get rid of it, sadly it interlinks with the condition. That being said you can help reduce the anxiety with finding ways that can help minimise the anxiety.

One of the things that I really struggle with my anxiety is really badly shaking especially with my hands. They literally cannot stop moving, it is normally triggered in social situations. It is hard to hold a cup – and yes I have dropped a fair few in my time.

Therefore, I have spent much time working ways to reduce shaking hands because it really annoys me. I get so frustrated and embarrassed.

ways to help deal with anxiety

The first technique to help reduce shaky hands is to focus on my breathing, keeping my attention on the basic principles with breathing in and out. 

Making sure I am aware of my lungs up and down and making sure that all the thoughts are put aside, even if it is just constantly reminding myself to focus on the breathing. 

At first, it is really hard because it is training your brain to think different but stick with it as it does get easier with practice and time. However, it is a great tool as it gives you time to slow down with your thoughts and think about breathing. This in turns slows down the fight or flight response.

If my anxiety is triggered by having to wait around distraction techniques are really good. For me, this may include writing poetry in a book or colouring in. Both types of distraction help stop me from thinking about the anxiety and feeding into it.

Reducing caffeine can help, as caffeine is a stimulant and can cause an increase in anxiety and heart racing.

Hand stretching has helped with trying to reduce the amount of adrenaline in my hand. Stretching out the fingers and pushing all my energy out. I focus on each finger at a time and notice the reactions that are occurring when doing it. 

This exercise can help once again in slowing down the anxiety and focusing on something other than the intrusive thoughts.

Is there anything that has helped you with anxiety, I would love to hear your thoughts?

Cheers for reading X

Monday, 26 October 2020

Parenting is hard at times

Hey readers,

Today I just want to curl up in a ball and hide away from the world. I have had a really difficult day looking after a really energetic child.

 It didn’t help that when walking into town my son decided all he wanted to do was just scream most of the way and chanting that he wants daddy. It is unbelievably exhausting especially as I am so sensitive to hearing because of my autism.

Then in the afternoon I just constantly had to deal with this mental battle in my head that if I am not entertaining my child 24/7 then somehow I am a rubbish parent. It is a constant battle that occurs in my own head and the sad thing is, is that it is all made by me.

 No one has told me that I am rubbish, it is just me putting so much pressure on myself, probably some guilt around being autistic and having shortfalls that other parents don't have to deal with. 

However, today my anxiety is so high that I am left with a killer headache because I am so tense from my self-inflicted anxiety. 

I have already had a panic attack and sometimes when so bad I am fearful social services will come and take my child of me simply because I had the TV on to much or I am a bit rubbish at communicating.

  It sounds silly writing this down but at the time the fears are real and frightening.

Why is it so hard to find a middle ground, I suppose this is always my problem never really reaching that right balance of moderation. I have always been extreme because that is just simply the way my brain is wired. I am all or nothing, so naturally, it would seem down into my parenting. 

I think because a lot of things is down to not communicating and no 'rules' as such I find it difficult to manage. All the things that I am good at are structure-based and have a step-to-step system, it is what I excel at. 

I am not good at ambiguous. I never have and I don't think I will ever have the skills no matter how many times I try. SO, basically, I need to accept me for who I am and instead of putting me down, embrace the skills and use them to my advantage,. I think this is one of the biggest learning curves for me as an autistic parent to master.

But I will say truthfully with having such an energetic child who will not sit still or does not want to engage in anything longer than five minutes is tough. 

Especially, when at times where I am by myself and feel like constantly breaking down with fear of how am I going to get past the next three hours?

I hope this stage gets easier and that I can relax and enjoy parenting a bit more and less of a pain in the arse chore that I have to get through.

I feel awful for writing this but this is the truth, this is how I feel at times. Don’t get me wrong other times parenting feels like a breeze especially when there is another parent to help out.

Cheers for reading X

Wednesday, 7 October 2020

6 ways to deal with rejection.

Hey readers,

Sometimes I just want to throw the towel in because I feel like a pile of shit. I am particularly venerable in feeling down because my confidence is at rock bottom.

 It can be really mentally draining when you are rejected all the time, it can be so disheartened especially when you have so much hope in that one thing.  So, how do you overcome rejection, well here my tops to cope with such a horrible feeling?

1. Cry.

 First of it is ok to grieve in a sense and have a  good old cry. I feel it is good to mope for a short period as it gives you more time to come round to the decision.

2. It will pass.

Reminding yourself that this feeling will pass and it will get better.

3. Distraction.

 A great way to try not to pay all your attention to the feelings of rejection is to keep yourself distracted. This will make you not feed into the downward spiral of a downer instead you can do something practical and deal with the feelings at a later date when you are calmer.

4. Acceptance.

Accepting the rejection and moving on. It may help to acknowledge that you are not the only person in the world to have experienced rejection. At some point in life, everyone will experience rejection even the most successful people can't run away from it either.

5. Think of the positives.

 Rejection may be a good thing for you. For example, if you attended a job interview you could ask the interviewer the reasons behind their decision to not employ you. This could potentially help you learn and help make changes to improve if needed.

6. Appreciation.

 Finally, I feel it is important to praise yourself as it is an indication that you are living your life and taking that risk by putting yourself out there.  It takes courage to put yourself in a venerable situation so take time to appreciate the work you have achieved.

What ways help you deal with rejection? how do you deal with rejection? Love to hear your thoughts in the comments down below. 

Cheers for reading X

Thursday, 1 October 2020

10 misconceptions about depression

Hey readers,

I have lived with depression for years, though some days are better than others it is hard to live with. There is always that one person who makes a snap judgement when really they are quite ignorant and have no idea of what a battle it is to live with depression. 

Here are my top ten misconceptions about depression that I have met over the years.

1. A golden oldie, all you need to do is snap right out of it. yeah, if it was that simple to just click my fingers and it the depression would disappear. At my darkest episode, I was healthy, eating well, exercising a lot and going out but I still felt shit. I did everything to make these dreading feeling and fear go away with no avail.

2. Drugs don't work, well actually that may be so and it may be down to thoughts but then thoughts are in the mind. Drugs have worked successfully for some people including myself and I have seen evidence of it impacting my quality of life. It does not erase everything but it reduces the immediate effects and helps lift you up to help you think more clearly and logically.

3. Depression is attention-seeking, maybe so for some people but when I had depression, in the beginning, I was ashamed and didn't tell anyone and hid away in my deep dark world behind closed doors.

4. Depression means your weak, far from it as you are living will this illness and having to deal with all the extra work it brings. It is very trying and you really lose your motivation to just do anything. Getting through it is pure hard work more then anyone would know.

5. Depression is the same as sadness, wrong sadness is short-lived with feelings of low. Compare that to depression which sucks all your energy, self-destructive at times suicidal battle for long periods all day and night is a hell of a different story.

6. You don't have depression if you are happy, well I disagree as I can have spiked up and down and all over the place. Sometimes I don't know whether I am coming or going

7. Depression is a result of stressful events, well that can be the case in some situations as we can't rule out the environmental factors. But you have to hear in mind that hormones, brain activity and genes also play a role in depression.

8. It's not really an illness, there has been evidence showing differences between areas of the brain that have less activity in contrast with brains of non-depressives.

9. It's all in the mind, sometimes yes but like point 6 there many factors that can not be ruled at as well when debating about where depression comes from.

10.  Talking about it only makes it worse, yes it can stir up bad emotions but it can help some people talk about feelings can help bring stuff to the surface and work through the emotions attached to issues. What you have to bear in mind is we are all different and what works for one does not necessarily work for another.

Cheers for reading X

Friday, 11 September 2020

Ways to improve your mental health.

Hey readers,

I suffer from anxiety/depression and sometimes it is hard to get on with life when you are sucked into the vicious cycle of self-hatred. 

Sometimes doing the smallest of things to make life nicer for yourself can make a huge difference. Here are some ways that I will discuss in this post that has helped me.

First one is being kind to yourself, easier said than done but sometimes we can be our own worst critic. We beat ourselves up and if anyone in the same situation came to us I bet we wouldn't speak to them the way we speak to ourselves.

 Be kinder and accept that some things are out of control. We are doing the best or doing what we can in that situation.

I have noticed that life particularly as a parent can feel like a wheel that constantly goes around and around, doing the same thing in and out each day without any change. 

Sometimes, change is good and what better way to do it then breaking the monotony up of your day. It could be something simple like going for a walk to a coffee shop, can make a huge difference to your day because it is a change of scenery.

Another way to make you feel better about yourself is by doing some volunteer, as you get the sense that you are valued for your time and services. 

Not to mention the feeling that you as a person are giving something valuable like your time for the better goodwill bring a feel-good factor. It could potentially help build your self-confidence in making you more worthwhile doing something positive and taking action.

A really productive way to help with your mental health is when you can ask for help and don't feel ashamed as no man is an island. I have always found this one different myself as I have been brought to not ask for help but now and again I do ask and you no what it makes a massive difference. 

You also shouldn't feel ashamed but proud of doing something that can make your situation better. Your not weak because of asking but strong for recognising that you need help, no one can do it all by themselves.

Sometimes, we can get caught up in our thoughts and just sit there ruminating on them causing us to be in a worse mood. I find that taking time out for yourself and doing something that you enjoy is really beneficial. 

It doesn't have to be something grand it could be just going for a walk, taking photos or even colouring but it has the benefits of helping you relax and distract yourself away from the negative thoughts.

This is so cliche but I am going to throw it in as I read a lot recently that blogging is really positive for your mental wellbeing.

 Firstly, you have a platform to write your feelings which can bring real cathartic. 

Secondly, your helping others who may be similar situations feel less alone and you never you may make friends.

Cheers for reading X

Wednesday, 9 September 2020

Preventing burnout

Hey readers,

It is the end of the week, yet again I am pooped, my body is aching and I feel like I can do the bare minimum. I can only come to the conclusion that I am suffering from burnout. 

As an autistic person, I don't have as much energy as a neurotypical person because It takes a lot more energy to deal with the difficulties that I to face throughout the day. 

So, I am have been searching recently on ways to try and help ease the burnout and thought maybe others would like to hear on what has worked for me.

Make sure that during the day I have time out, where I don't have to think but just be. This is not a time where I learn anything or have to remember certain cues, it's a time to allow my brain to switch off and relax.

Being kind to myself - so easy to say but putting it into to practice is hard, especially if you are a perfectionist and give yourself a hard time. Looking at the small positive things that you have done during the day is a reminder that you’re doing ok.

Accepting that I cannot be superhuman and my energy is limited. The major thing that I struggle to do is ask for help or accept that it is ok for another person to do something, it does not mean you are a failure.

Being realistic with what you can achieve and focusing on sectioning out the important stuff and not so important. Learning the art of negotiating and leaving somethings for another time helps me make the day not so overwhelming.

Having a list and writing them in order of importance, plus giving those time frames helps me feel less overwhelmed and feel more comfortable about how my day is going to pan out.

What ways help you in dealing with burnout? Love to hear what you think in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X


Monday, 27 July 2020

How to be content.

Hey readers,

In this day and age, it is hard not to compare yourself.  I for one am guilty of this, it is so easy to assume that one has it all whilst you feel like you are floating above the water.

We can forget that what you see with your eyes on the surface may not be the actual truth. How can possibly know everything about someone when we only see a glimpse.

That is why it is important to look for content within and not on unrealistic ideas that assume make others happy.

Sometimes you can fall under the trap of negativity, where all you see is the bad stuff. That is why it is important to take stock of what is good in life. No one has it all but I am a true believer in that there is one good thing in life even if it is small.

Today I felt sad as if my life is going anyway. I could continue down the negative spiral but won't get me anywhere, it will just make me feel ten times worse.

The things I have succeeded in is getting up and making sure my children are well and happy. I have read a book and even writing this post is productive.

I think it is important to accept the things you do have and not dwell. Being content with yourself so a hard thing to achieve when there are so many messages everywhere telling us to be like this or that. You feel like you are questioning everything.

I think the main that I have learnt in my adult life is meaning and the value you put on something. I think that is a powerful thing. If you let go of connecting to something you would be amazed at how little impact it has on you.

I think the thing that is key in being content is questioning everything and working out what it means to you. Deep down is it really important to you?

What do you think about being content? Love to hear your views down below. 

Cheers for reading X

Shank You Very Much
3 Little Buttons

Monday, 20 July 2020

In the evening light

Hey readers,

I am sat here all alone with no noise bar me typing away on the laptop. I like this time as it is my time, quite with no need to think or understand silly little rules.

 It is time to wind down and relax before I panic again how am I going to get through the next day.
One thing for sure is that I have made it through the day and nothing particularly bad has happened.

Both my boys are happily snoring their little heads off without any worry so I take that as a good day.
My body feels relaxed as I am watching the sunset and the colour of the sky brightens my eyes. I feel safe without any threat, which I am forever grateful.

There have been times when I have been really scared of the unknown, decisions that were out of control. Lies and deceit form people who were meant to be honest.

But all that does not matter now as we have moved on, like the earth continuing to spin on regardless of what life throws at us.

I suppose my favourite thing about the evening is getting the opportunity to slip into bed where it is warm and safe. Knowing that I may not have everything but what I do have is love from my husband and children. 

You can get so bogged down and confused with all the messages everywhere that you can forget what is in front of you. I am no means perfect for starters

 I am autistic but am grateful right now and feel blessed for what I do have. I have been knowing to moan and even cry myself to sleep with feelings of self dealt, confusion and hurt with life.

 Some days I feel absolutely terrified to get up in the morning, I put so much thought into the detail that you forget the basics of putting one foot in front of the next.

 Today is a different story, I take how to feel and to own it. I am learning more about myself through motherhood and just plodding along like the rest of us.

Cheers for reading X

Wednesday, 1 July 2020

Reading and mental health.

Hey readers,

I have found reading to be beneficial for me and my mental health. Even though I have some really crappy days I still try to read because I find it helps in a small way, it might not be much but it is powerful. 

So in this post, I am going to get explore some reasons why reading can help with improving your mental health.

1. Escapism.

There is nothing worse than the feeling of not being able to escape your own thoughts that are constantly blasting at you. 

It can be easy to focus on them because they are so loud for attention but sometimes what I find helpful is a distraction and in this case reading. 

Reading for me is escapism from my thoughts because I am focusing on something else therefore not giving my thoughts the attention but focusing on reading can give me a break for a bit. 

 I read psychological thrillers and the escapism from the ‘real world’ is what is appealing. I like to get into the mind of someone else's story, this helps a lot when I am feeling particularly down and need something to give my mind a break from my life stresses.

2.  Reduces stress.

Reading can reduce stress because when you read for fun it is pleasurable and something that you enjoy.

 There is nothing better to read a good book where you can’t put it down and that is real enjoyment that is a positive effect on your mind. 

The story capturing your attention therefore you reduce stress levels by relaxing your tensed muscles, giving yourself that feel good chemicals when pleasure is activated in the brain.

3. Mental stimulation.

Reading can help with giving our brain some stimulation by keeping it working through reading and creating scenarios in our head of the plot of the story. These are great to keep your mind active and functioning and engaging in areas of the mind.

4. Memory.

Reading helps with your memory because for example with a story you need to remember each character what they are like and key events that has happened to make sense of the future story that you are reading. 

Again it comes back to the point about having to focus on something other than your own thoughts. This is refreshing because it gives you that break for the distress which can help reduce mental stress in the long term.

5. Sleep.

Reading before bed is a perfect ritual you should master as it helps increase the quality of your sleep. Reading before sleep allows yourself to relax your body and get it in sleep mode. 

Reading can also help you switch off from your own thoughts allowing quicker time to get to sleep. 

Overall with reading at night focusing on the book reduces the negative thoughts because you’re focusing on the reading meaningless likely to wake up if you are relaxed.

Have you found reading has helped you with your mental health? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

Musings Of A Tired Mummy