Friday 30 April 2021

guilt over every moment.

Hey readers, 

 I have a kind of confession to make and that is when someone says, time goes fast embrace every moment of your child or similar times of things. 

But the whole idea was that I should embrace that moment. Maybe I find it difficult because I am autistic and I take every word literally. I feel stressed or guilty because I don't embrace every moment.

 I might be selfish may be preoccupied. I just feel suffocated with this feeling of trying to encapsulate and treasure every moment.

 This is the side of social media that I found not helpful for parents and truth be told adds more pressure/guilt. It really can drag your mood right down and feel not good enough.

guilt over every moment.
 I bet if I weren't around in the social media time it would be a lot less stressful and less pressure to be perfect and enjoy every moment of my child. 

 The thing is life gets in the way, and sometimes I really can't wait for my kids to go to bed, does this make me a bad mother? Of course, I love my children dearly but life isn't always peachy.

 I just get so bogged down with the guilt about not enjoying every moment or not fully occupying my time with my child. 

But when I reflect I don't miss it. I don't miss the times I had. There are fun times, sad times, anxious times

It is an experience and something I am glad that I have experienced but would I seriously want to encapsulate that if I had the magic powers to make time stop? 

Honestly no I wouldn't. I am trying to let go of the guilt, I make mistakes and coming to terms with that and accept I am only human. 

I can't stop time or my children growing up that is just the nature of the beast. I do weirdly actually like seeing the change and growth in my child's development. 

Seeing them grow and become their own person in their own right. 

 Motherhood is tiring and challenging and all the other emotions are attached to it. 

I am trying not to be hard on myself and just take each day as it comes. 

As long as my children are happy, healthy, and achieving the best they can that is the goal for me. I need to accept my best is enough. 

 Cheers for reading X

14 comments:

  1. I don't think it is anything to do with your Autism. I think you are right about social media putting pressure on to us. Sometimes I just want some time to myself, away from the kids and sometimes they don't want to spend time with me.
    Try not to be too hard on yourself. x

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  2. I think that we all feel like guilt as parents #mischiefandmemories@_karendennis

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  3. Keeping it real is so much more powerful than focusing on those random phrases. I certainly do not enjoy the meltdowns and school struggles! #KCACOLS

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  4. Mother's Guilt is a waste of time, tbh. It gets harder and the problems get bigger so you need the energy for that. As long as your a doing the best with what you knew at the time, then be happy with that. Anything else is just tiring you out.

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  5. Mum guilt really takes over sometimes doesn't it. I agree social media doesn't help as we are all comparing ourselves to a fake reality. #KCACOLS

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  6. This really resonated with me and I am also an autistic mother. I also find myself feeling guilty because I don't feel I'm enjoying motherhood as much as I should, and like you I do think a lot of that pressure comes from social media. Thank you so much for linking up with #KCACOLS.

    Katrina x

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  7. Social media doesn't help with this kind of thing. I think it might help instead to recognise when you are having a great moment with your kids and then see you are enjoying it and be there for it. Maybe that's a way to start? #kcacols

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  8. I think this is something that we all go through from time to time. Its important to be able to learn how to let go of things and give yourself a break. xxx #kcacols

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  9. I definitely do feel a touch of guilt if I'm not playing with my daughter or paying her attention for every moment she is home. But how on earth would we get anything done if we did that? #MischiefAndMemories

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  10. Oh no, you shouldn't feel guilty about not embracing every second. I don't think it's realistically even possible. There's much more joy in noticing when you're all having a brilliant time, and allowing yourself to be present and fully engaged in that specific moment. Thank you for joining us for #mischiefandmemories

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  11. I think socially media has a lot to answer for and parenting would be much easier without it! #mischiefandmemories

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  12. Being a parent is exhausting and being told that we should be loving every second is unreasonable and provokes guilt and shame. Becoming a parent does not stop you being a person in your own right and having an entitlement to a little time to yourself. Thanks for linking up with #MischiefAndMemories

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  13. I defo want my kids to go to bed every night! Everyone needs downtime. I want my husband to be in a different room sometimes too. It doesn’t mean I love them any less 😉. #mischiefandmemories

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  14. Parenting is tough and it’s important not to be too hard on yourself. As you say, if the kids are happy and healthy then you are doing a great job.
    I took a long break from social media recently and can’t say I really missed it!
    #KCACOLS

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