Fed is best

Hey readers,

So you probably heard of the news story today regarding midwives been told to respect the decision by the mother if she decides not to breastfeed her baby.


This is such good news to hear because when I could not breastfeed my baby I was devasted and thought that was it I am officially the world's sh*test parent. Even though I tried my hardest I just didn't have the co-ordination due to my spatial awareness difficulties due to being autistic.

I remember going to a breastfeeding group pre-baby and the sheer pressure from the group was scary. I felt like if I didn't do this then I would be such a bad person.

After my eldest was born I tried for two/three days to breastfeed. I was in the hospital for the two days due to complications. Every single time I needed help. I could not do it myself. Even after when I returned home I had my husband do it for me. Again it made me feel like a massive failure and it stopped me bonding with my son. I felt so angry with myself and feel that I was not adequate in being a mum.

I think the guilt of not being able to breastfeed was one of the things that triggered postnatal depression sadly.

Luckily, however, I saw a brilliant midwife who told me to just bottle feed, I was baffled but then I thought well actually yeah why not. She told me she bottle fed her children and it made me feel so much better knowing that it was OK to formula feed. Having that support was a big deal. Just knowing it was OK to do so and nothing bad was going to happen helped make me feel relief like I have never felt before.

So to hear the changes is such a positive step forward. I am not knocking breastfeeding but I think it is important to be mindful that not every woman can do it and that is OK. As long as the baby is the feed that is much more important.
Cheers for reading X

11 comments

  1. Even though I breast fed all four of my kids, I would be among the first to say that it was NOT easy, and pushing a mum to do so (especially if things aren't going well) can be harmful to her AND to her child.

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  2. I breastfed my youngest two, but not my first. I was happy with my decision to breastfeed, but it should definitely be pushed on a woman. each mother should be able to make her own decision without pressure.

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  3. I've five kids, three I breastfed and after the initial difficulty it was fine. My first born I had an emergency C-section and I couldn't get to grips with BF, I gave it a try but it didn't work out and I felt so guilty. With my fith, I had already decided that after the first week I was switching to bottle feeding, and it was my decision and I felt comfortable with it. It is such a very personal choice and no-one should be told what to do.

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  4. There is so much pressure for mums to be and new mums to breastfeed. I was pressured into it and I think that's half the reason why it didn't work out with my eldest. I didn't try with my youngest and stood up for myself when they asked if I wanted to!
    It really doesn't matter how a baby is fed as long as it is fed!!

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  5. People are always so quick to judge others. How each person chooses to feed their baby, like pretty much every other decision they make, is their business. If the people who shame mums for not breast feeding put that energy into something useful, the world could be a much better place!
    Debbie #ablogginggoodtime

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  6. I agree with you. I so desperately wanted to breastfeed my premature twins but it just wasn't meant to be - not for the want of trying I might add. I was made to feel like a failure. Fed is best regardless of how it's done. Thanks for joining in with #ThatFridayLinky

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  7. Fed is best is right! #abitofeverything xoxo

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  8. You have to do what works best for you and your family. If bottle means happy baby and happy mummy then that is best, if breastfeeding means happy baby and happy mummy then that's great too! #ThatFridayLinky

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  9. This is the best news! I could not agree more, there is nothing worse than already struggling with BF or making a choice not to and the being so harshly judged. I could go on forever as my struggle to BF brings up a lot of painful memories for me. #ABloggingGoodTime

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  10. I breastfed my three and have just recently stopped - luckily it came 'easily' to me (although it was jolly hard work!) #ablogginggoodtime

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  11. It must be one of the hardest things in the world to be made to feel you're not doing the best for your baby, when you're right, fed is definitely best. Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo

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