Parenting is hard at times

Hey readers,

Today I just want to curl up in a ball and hide away from the world. I have had a really difficult day looking after a really energetic child.

 It didn’t help that when walking into town my son decided all he wanted to do was just scream most of the way and chanting that he wants daddy. It is unbelievably exhausting especially as I am so sensitive to hearing because of my autism.

Then in the afternoon I just constantly had to deal with this mental battle in my head that if I am not entertaining my child 24/7 then somehow I am a rubbish parent. It is a constant battle that occurs in my own head and the sad thing is, is that it is all made by me.

 No one has told me that I am rubbish, it is just me putting so much pressure on myself, probably some guilt around being autistic and having shortfalls that other parents don't have to deal with. 

However, today my anxiety is so high that I am left with a killer headache because I am so tense from my self-inflicted anxiety. 

I have already had a panic attack and sometimes when so bad I am fearful social services will come and take my child of me simply because I had the TV on to much or I am a bit rubbish at communicating.

  It sounds silly writing this down but at the time the fears are real and frightening.

Why is it so hard to find a middle ground, I suppose this is always my problem never really reaching that right balance of moderation. I have always been extreme because that is just simply the way my brain is wired. I am all or nothing, so naturally, it would seem down into my parenting. 

I think because a lot of things is down to not communicating and no 'rules' as such I find it difficult to manage. All the things that I am good at are structure-based and have a step-to-step system, it is what I excel at. 

I am not good at ambiguous. I never have and I don't think I will ever have the skills no matter how many times I try. SO, basically, I need to accept me for who I am and instead of putting me down, embrace the skills and use them to my advantage,. I think this is one of the biggest learning curves for me as an autistic parent to master.

But I will say truthfully with having such an energetic child who will not sit still or does not want to engage in anything longer than five minutes is tough. 

Especially, when at times where I am by myself and feel like constantly breaking down with fear of how am I going to get past the next three hours?

I hope this stage gets easier and that I can relax and enjoy parenting a bit more and less of a pain in the arse chore that I have to get through.

I feel awful for writing this but this is the truth, this is how I feel at times. Don’t get me wrong other times parenting feels like a breeze especially when there is another parent to help out.

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 25/10/2020

10 things to do during october half term 2020

 Hey readers, 

This year is a funny old year where a lot has happened coronavirus and you may be dreading half term as it is not like other times when there is a lot more available and socially you could do more i.e. stay over at grandparents house. 

It is all different this year and you may want to find some activities that you can do safely this half term holiday. so, here are 10 ideas that won't break the bank but keep you sane.

1. Slime. 

Kids love slime and my boys especially love slime and baths, So this is perfect. I picked up these pots of slime in Poundland for a quid and it is going to be an afternoon/rainy situation where it will come out and keep them amused for a little bit. 

2. Scavenger hunt.

There is a million and one on Pinterest and similar search engines that you pick one that suits you and your family. It is a great way to hunt for items out in the wild while keeping kids entertained.

3. Colour in.

A lovely activity to do with children is doing some colouring - is not only for children but for adults as well. There are loads of printouts and if your feeling seasonal there are Halloween wants to choose from.

4. Zoom calls.

If you cant see someone in person to keep contact with friends and family good old zoom meeting will safe the day. 

 
5. Carve a pumpkin.

Had to be including with Halloween falling in half term grabbing a pumpkin (doesn't have to be expensive you can pick up big ones from Aldi for a couple of quid. Carving a pumpkin is a fun and sensory activity and looks really effective when you light it with tea lights in the evening giving you that spooky ambience.

6. Film afternoon.

There is a good range of films on the telly during the half-term holiday for kids or you could stream, I like Hotel Transylvania and Scoob perfect for the family. 

7. Baking. 

Kids love baking in the kitchen and you can do some simple recipes so you don't have to feel overwhelmed in your confident like me. A good recipe is chocolate chip cookies not too complicated but always a hit.

8. Science experiment.

If you are feeling adventurous you could try a science experiment such as making slime or a bath bomb. 

 9. Go for a bike ride. 

A free activity you can do is go on your bike for a ride, you don't have to go far it could be local but at least you get out of seeing the four walls. 

10. Check out the local park.

Parks are an excellent way of burning kids energy off and if it is mild you could even take a picnic with you. 

Have I missed anything off the list that you think would make a great idea for entertaining kids during this coming half term? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X 

My Sunday photo 18/10/2020

What to do when you are a blogger insomniac

Hey readers,

Sometimes I struggle to sleep. I have had sleeping problems all my life. However, I am now on medication. 

However, last week I messed up my medication so I ended up not taking. Because it was late and if I did take my medication it would result in me feeling dead the next day. 

Which would not be cool when you have two kids under five and you need to have the energy of superwomen. 

So when I am bored in the late hours wondering what the fuck to do here is the list of my ideas to keep you amused. Thank God I do blogging as well as it sure does kill time, haha!

1. Organised.

As a blogger, you can never be too organised. One idea is to catch up on all the blog posts that need to be done for the week.

2. Pinterest.

Pinterest kills time in an instant. Any old shit that you can think of can be found on this social media platform. It is great mind fantasying and activating your creative skills even if you are just dreaming that you can do, still fun to make boards with ideas/inspiration. That is the place to be my friend and at least it can save you money compared to going on eBay ;).

3. Brain dump. 

 Get writing and do a brain dump of potential blog ideas. This point can also be linked to number three as there is a host of information about ideas or prompts to get your moving in the right direction.

4. Youtube. 

 If all else fails then that don't fear as there is always old faithful YouTube to help take your blues away.

Do you blog? How do you find blogging and has it been helpful for insomnia?

Cheers for reading X

10 reasons to love Pinterest!

Hey readers, 

The past fortnight I have fully emerged myself in Pinterest. I used it previously sporadically but this time I got stuck right in. Went a bit crazy with pinning and now would say I am fully Fletched pinner! I have written my case for why I love Pinterest.

1. Escapism - it is a place where I can get lost in beautiful stuff or ideas and not have to go anywhere.

2. Don't have to spend a penny even though you have put loads of ideas together. Cheaper then visiting eBay.

3. You feel connected in an unusual way with random people. You don't have to get too personal but you feel a sense of online community.

4. Let's face it is a great source of inspiration for ideas.

5. Instead of instantly going to Google I hit Pinterest.

6. It is a place to learn something new and stumble on something that you may not necessarily think off.

7. When I am depressed I go there to look at funny pictures, bad parent fails or Pinterest fails and honest it can make me feel so much better.

8. It is a great distraction to eating.

9. It's great for writer's block and there are loads of boards or pins to get your creative juices flowing.

10. It can get you excited the endless possibilities and can help you think in a different direction.

Do you use Pinterest? Do you find it helpful? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

Anti- Homework

Hey readers,

One of the things that pisses me off about school is sending children home with homework.

 Firstly, I believe we should stop homework because kids have a long day at school learning, why then come home to do even more work. 

Let's give children a break and allow them to play and let them wind down. I think if the child has to constantly be meeting deadlines to get work completed then it could lead to loss of enthusiasm to learn. 

I know that people are more willing to learn when they are less under pressure.

There is the risk of cheating by copying each other work in order to get the work done. Therefore getting rewarded for falsework which really doesn't help anyone in the long term.

How many arguments are met through parents having to deal with the additional responsibility of getting the kids motivated to complete their work? 

There is not enough time in the evening and it can cause potential friction between child and parent. Homework reduces the amount of family time spent together, it is important to have quality time with the family and to socialise.

A different reason for being against homework is the child for a large. A portion of the school day is sedentary. So, to come home and then be made to sit down for even more time is not really good when instead they could be having fun and doing some physical exercise.

There is no real link that homework increases learning or grades*. Causing unnecessary pressure and frustration for child and parent. There is no real cleat link to say that homework increases the chances of a child gaining better grades.

My child is exhausted from coming home from school as he uses all his energy to learn, concentrate and listen to instructions. To then try to get him to complete his homework is pretty pointless. 

He is halfhearted and not really concentrating because of being so tired. I feel it is important that when he is at home that there is that time to relax. So, there is a clear and definite break from education. 

Children need to have time to wind down and relax. It helps them sleep and not be overactive with keeping their brain wired for long periods. Not to mention the fact that if they are calmer in the evening they will sleep better and feeling fresh in the morning to be more motivated to work on education at school.

I am all about learning but I think there should be a balance between learning and play. I think with homework included in the mix of a school day it is unevenly balanced. I don't really feel it is healthy nor necessarily to include homework in the curriculum.

 Sometimes you get the feeling that it is more about meeting targets then the actual child's development and health.

What do you think about homework? Do you like it or not? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

*"What research says about the value of homework: Research review." The Center for Public Education, web. 17th February 2007.