How to stop self gaslighting.

 Hey readers,

The manipulative technique known as gaslighting refers to someone who challenges your perception of reality. 

It often serves as a means of exerting control over a person or circumstance since the result confuses and destabilises you, making you question your abilities. 

Self-gaslighting is a closely comparable term and idea that may not be as widely known but has the same potential for harm.

Self-gaslighting occurs when you start to doubt your reality and discount your emotions due to internalised doubt and a critical external voice. Some famous self-gaslighting words are "Maybe it wasn't that bad," "Maybe she didn't mean to hurt me," and "I am being overly emotional." 

So why do we act in this manner?

Discover the reasons why self-gaslighting occurs, as well as a method to stop it and replace it with self-trust, below.

Why do we tend to self-gaslight?

The external "voice" that might direct your self-gaslighting behaviour could be from someone you repeatedly heard, such as a carer or an authority figure who was interested in keeping control over you.

 Because we depend on our parents and other authority figures to survive as children, it is not in our best interests to question them.

 We lack the ability or desire to criticise or hold them accountable. In such cases, rage must be channelled within.

To maintain reliance on our carers, we may grow a self-critical voice and focus unpleasant emotions towards ourselves.

 When a problem isn't caused by the environment or the people around us, the developing brain tells us that "the problem must be me." This causes us to doubt our knowledge.

Additionally, the voice of scepticism could come from social sources rather than just one individual. One term for this is "collective gaslighting."

 In this country, for instance, the idea that white people are more critical and valuable than people of colour has been perpetuated via messaging, deeds, and legislation. 

Consequently, a person of colour may assume as they age that they are lacking and undeserving of something.

But regardless of who you are or what your internal story is, you can regain control and stop any self-gaslighting that is taking place.

1. Consider whose viewpoint this is.

These contradicting beliefs frequently don't appear out of thin air. They have become embedded in your mind since you have heard them before. 

There's usually someone who persuades you to think this way about yourself.

It can have been a parent, boss, sibling, ex, or acquaintance. Even if the individual had good intentions at the time, you should discover the source of these beliefs to distance yourself from them.

2. Find out who has this opinion by digging deep.

Do some personal history digging to see if you have unwittingly become accustomed to gaslighting yourself?

Who has taught you that you shouldn't rely on your judgements, preferences, experiences, and memories?

Did it begin in infancy and feel "natural" in your marriage?

Did your parents discourage you from having confidence in yourself because they didn't like who you were or what you did?

Did your husband criticise your thoughts, actions, demands, and grievances? Or did he gradually reduce your feeling of self to serve his interests by chipping away at it?

Stop claiming ownership of things that are not yours!

3. You Hold Responsibility for Your Illness.

Another method you gaslight yourself is by blaming yourself.

 You blame yourself for your symptoms even if you know you have an invisible illness and have no control over it. 

You punish yourself if you get flare-ups. And you think unfavourable, destructive ideas.

Society is quite good at making someone responsible for their illness.

 It is your job to recover if you are ill; if you don't, you aren't working hard enough. 

For those of us with a chronic, invisible illness, however, this is not true. 

We often have no control over these ailments, and no matter what we do, they won't go away. Therefore, it is useless to blame yourself for a situation out of your control.

4. Remain rooted. 

Keep as much of your awareness in the present as possible because reality doesn't always feel stable. 

We have power over the present, but we cannot change the past. Take part in enjoyable and relaxing activities.

Remember that your past does not define who you are today, and validate your work that counts.

5. Combat Self-Negative Talk.

Have you ever made the mistake of criticising and calling yourself a failure after it? 

It's time to combat those instances of negative self-talk. Replace negative thoughts with positive and self-compassionate affirmations rather than allowing them to rule your mind.

 Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and they present chances for growth and learning.

What do you think about self-gaslighting? Have you ever experienced it? I love you. Hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

Cheers for reading X