Sunday, 14 June 2020

My Sunday Photo 14/06/2020

Friday, 12 June 2020

Reasons to love Youtube

Hey readers,

We are now in the internet age and where better place to explore than good old YouTube especially as we are spending more time at home due to the Coronavirus.

 I love YouTube I will be honest and it has saved many a boring day or dealing with the awkward questions my eldest asks me. 

Not to mention the vast amount of variety of video available on Youtube from tutorials and reviews on products to name a couple (though there are many more).

 I would otherwise be clueless with things that I know thanks tog good old Youtube so let's celebrate all things YouTube!

1. Cost.

Most of the videos that you can watch on Youtube are free apart from the premium level but let's face it most people don't opt for that service.

2.  24/7.

Youtube is accessible to anyone in the world 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year.

3. Variety.

On Youtube the variety of information is amazing. There is so much out there from tutorials to free films. You can even get 30-minute type shows so there is definitely something on Youtube for everyone to enjoy.

4. Knowledge. 

YouTube is a platform where you can get a lot of information to help with learning. For me personally, an obvious example where I have learnt something off Youtube is navigating around Blogger.

It has helped me tremendously as a blogger to help me feel more confident in working around the Blogger website. 

Also, you can take your time,  stop and pause. You can even come back and do little bits making it more manageable to fit around you and your needs.

5. Accessible for all. 

Anyone regardless of background or experience cam upload a video and there are little restrictions on what can post (apart from the obvious). Giving people the free rains over the material.

6. Unedited.

It can be unedited and what you see is what you get.  I will be honest I love really dodgy amateur videos just for the comedy purposes alone.

7.  Individual. 

You can learn about someone's life and get to know the vloggers better on a social level. Because the individual is doing the recording and you get a sense of authenticity. 

Vlogging world is very popular with people because it is not like traditional TV shows because it is about someone's life and they are recording it for you to view.

8. Playlists.

You can create your own playlist on Youtube tailored to your taste.  Remember in the 90s making mixtapes and the effort with stop and starting again with the tape recorder. 

Well, using personalised YouTube playlists is the modern way to tailor your needs. You can also pick the videos without the ads so playing right through without skipping even so often, win!

Do you relate to any of these positive aspects of liking Youtube? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

Wednesday, 10 June 2020

Never Alone by Elizabeth Haynes (book review)

Hey readers,

Today I am going to do a book review of Never Alone by Elizabeth Haynes. It is an adult thriller fiction book.

Never Alone by Elizabeth Haynes
The main plot is about a woman called Sarah who was married to Jim but he died in a car crash.
Sarah is struggling with debt in her home up in the Yorkshire Dales. She had a visit from a university friend of Sarah and Jim’s called Aiden. 

He needs a place to stay and Sarah offers him a room her home. He insists on paying rent which is an incentive as she really needs the money and the fact that she is struggling with loneliness.
Sarah and Aiden get friendly and after getting close after a night out at the local pub and the end of the night having sex together.
Over time feelings between Sarah and Aiden grow for each other.
There is one problem with the situation between Sarah and Aiden is that everyone other than Sarah knows that Aiden is a masseur and provides organisms for women as a job.
They have fallen out and it progresses that it is purely a job for him. He has been honest with every question Sarah says. However, over time Sarah accepts this and trusts him.
There is another friend called Sophie who is having relationship problems with her husband and gets to know a friend of Sarah's called Will.
Sophie and Will have a fling but Sophie wants to continue it further. However, this point will I'd obsessed.
He gets threatening towards Sarah because she had a one night stand a whole back causing him to blackmail Sarah.
Sarah has two older children called Louis and Kitty. Kitty is at university and comes to stay over the holidays at Sarah's.
Louis has fallen out with his mum due to his dad's death, blaming Sarah for not driving when the night his dad died.
Sophie at this point has told George about will and his obsessive behaviour. He tells her to vanish for a while to try and make it cool down. However, this only leads the will to lead on to darker plans.
I won't spoil the ending but with the weather turning for the worst with heavy snow and we find out the lengths people will go for the one they get attached too.
I loved Elizabeth Haynes previous work and so naturally was delighted to see another title that I had not read yet. I found the book a real page-turner and engaging. I like the fact that it wasn’t dragged out but there was enough balance for the beginning, middle and end section. Definitely worth a read if you enjoy a good thriller that keeps you guessing.
I give it 5 stars out of five.
Cheers for reading X

Monday, 8 June 2020

7 ways to be happy everyday.

Hey readers,

Sometimes we can forget to find the joy in the simplest of things and life can drag us down.

 But we can do something about that and gain some control back. I have got seven ways that aren't difficult to help find happiness in ordinary stuff. I hope you find this helpful.

1. Time out.

Take the time out of your day to do something that you love doing, whether it be listening to music, reading whatever it is do it make some time to do it! Even if it is just for ten minutes a day it will be worth it in the long term for your wellbeing because you are doing something for you and giving you some time for self-care.

2. Write it down.

 A good habit to take up is to write down something that you are thankful for each day. It doesn't have too big it could be as simple as hearing the birds. This is a way to train your brain to look at the positives in your life and appreciate the small things in life that you have access too. 

3. Outdoors.

Take yourself outside and connect with nature. Go for a walk and just be, take time to notice the environment that you are, look at the different flowers or trees, look up at the sky because we live in a beautiful world and it has a lot to offer.

4. Laugh.

As the saying goes laughter is the best medicine. Laughing produces chemicals in the brain to make you feel good naturally and laughing is also brilliant at offering healing properties as well.

5. Time out.

Take some time out of your day to be mindful and present. All you need to do is it and be and just stop with the business of the world.

 The world goes by so fast that you may miss out and just sitting and slowing down can really be beneficial to your health.

6. Kindness.

Do something for someone else and spread happiness on. Some suggestions are making a hot drink, taking time to listen to the person and what they are saying.

7. Positives.

Write down your feelings and work out how you can help reduce the negative and increase the positive. This allows you to understand and think about how you feel. 

It also gives you some control because you're acting on how your feeling and finding solutions to some problems if you can. 

Have I missed any techniques to help make you feel happy every day? What do you do that helps you find happiness? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 7 June 2020

My Sunday photo 07/06/2020

Saturday, 6 June 2020

Little Miss Muffet (A Paraody).

Little Miss Muffet went off in a fuffet,

Swearing and huffing the day away,

Along came a numpty,

Who tried to woe her,

Only to get slapped away.

Friday, 5 June 2020

Mad Girl by Bryony Gordon (book review).

Hey readers,

I love a book that you can lose yourself totally in and can't wait for every opportunity to sit and flick through the pages. 

This book did just that. It is a biography of Bryony Gordon who is a journalist for several years. She writes openly and honestly about her first-hand experience of living with OCD and clinical depression.

As a suffer from both clinical depression and OCD I felt I could really identify with how Bryony expressed her experiences clearly, how out of nowhere something triggered causing the panic and obsession. Almost like someone flicking on a switch.

I feel that this is an honest reflection of OCD. It is also not your typical cleaning OCD but a main focus on the thoughts and how they influence behaviour.

As a mother, I also found the area about motherhood particularly around pregnancy interesting and relatable. 

Especially when it is your first-time pregnancy can be very stressful. The early period of motherhood made me feel very paranoid especially with the debate about whether or not you should or should not take anti-depressants and the effect that it will have on your newborn.

I think it is an interesting observation mentioned in the book about the fact that Bryony comes from a middle-class family that was fairly stable with not a lot of trigger to cause mental illness. It goes to show that money can't pay for everything and that mental health affects all walks of life.  

The only good thinks about being wealthy is getting better care privately. The reason Bryony and her mum chose private over NHS is shockingly poor and a long waiting list to boot. 

Mad Girl: Gordon, Bryony: 9781472232083: Books

Though she chats openly that it doesn't matter as you still have to work hard to get a good therapist that understands you to help with your recovery.
It is a brilliant account of how OCD can feed off you when you are mentally low such as being in an abusive relationship can trigger OCD behaviour.

Even if you don't suffer from OCD it is a fantastic way to help you understand better about the condition and help increase awareness for mental illness. Also how hard it is to find the right help and that if the Doctors dealt with it sooner then it would possibly be not as bad as the thoughts are not been long lasted for years as a way to cope with life stresses.

The best advice  Bryony concludes is cutting back on alcohol/exercise/eating healthy and just making sure that every area of your life is catered for can help reduce the OCD.

Bryony also reflects on her experience of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and the power of thought. 

 How CBT  worked for her and now accepts that slips happen, OCD thoughts will always be there but accepting them as just that but not taking them as the gospel is the biggest progress to live a better more fulfilled life.

A powerful message is that mental illness is not on the same level of importance of physical health. If you had a broken leg you would get it plastered. But mental health is still a taboo that is not talked about and at times shamed upon with stigma or being blasé with comments about being a bit OCD with putting clothing straight. 

It is much more than complex and intrusive than simply having things in a certain way.

Bryony set up a group called mental health mates where strangers meet up in London to walk and talk about mental illness.

There is no demand to change just a place to not feel so alone and isolated. I think it is a brilliant idea and I wish there were more groups around in the UK.

In my personal opinion, I think this is one of the best books I have read of a first account of living with OCD. It is not pretentious or glamorised,  just trying to get the message out that whatever background shit happens. 

It is great to help get the message about what it is really like to live with OCD. I definitely recommend it.

Cheers for reading X

Wednesday, 3 June 2020

Mummy will you play with me?

Hey readers, 

Them words.... "mummy, will you play with me?" I dread.


Specifically, imaginary play, the thought of it gives me the shudders. Even after 8 years of being a mother, I hate it. I get so on edge thinking will my child ask me. 

Now I suppose one the struggles is I am not good at thinking outside of the box as it were. I am autistic and just coming up with random ideas is a big bloody struggle truth be told. 

I don't enjoy this type of play. I think the worst bit of it all is the guilt that I have created myself inside my own head that I must be good at imaginary play if I want to be a good mother. 

I know it sounds ridiculous but when you have been observed in playing with your children from professionals you get a bit paranoid. 

Now I am good at constructive play such as colouring in, writing on windows with window pens, reading books etc. 

My kids can come to me and talk to me about anything and I will listen and answer, no problems there. 

I just can't deal with doing things without order or structure and this falls back to being autistic. I walked out once a couple of times when I have been to live performances when they are improvising. 

The thought of being on the spot and having to come up with something is really tricky. It's like my mind goes blank the moment I am under pressure, I just can not think of what to do or say at that moment.

So coming back to play I am trying to be accepting of what I can and can not do. Opening up on this platform makes me feel scared of the judgement I guess but I am going to tell my husband as well.

 I'm scared of being open and saying look I struggle, I don't like it and it fills me with dread. There are some days when I am so anxious about it I will stay up so I am too tired the next day to feel anything. 

I think I am more conscious of my own behaviour due to the intensity of staying at home more. It is tough, really tough. I know I am not alone but it is almost a taboo topic saying you hate the imaginary play. 

I think if I was to accept it more it would relax me better and have a better time. 

I know my boys are looked after and are fine. It is just dealing with the intrusive thoughts in my mind. 

Let's focus a little bit of the positives about not playing imaginary play and letting my little darlings be free to play. 

It teaches them to be independent which isn't a bad thing, it means there more creative when they are bored because they are looking for ways to entertain themselves. 

So in the grand schemes of things not that bad really. Just need to be kinder to myself because we are different and we can't all be good at everything right?

Cheers for reading X 

Tuesday, 2 June 2020


Hey readers,

my word of the week is:


What I mean to say about this is lack of time due to the fact that it is half term. As lovely as half term is it leaves me lacking time. I feel like I don't have enough of it this week and feel a bit tired. It is exhausting work trying to entertain children whilst trying desperately holding on to your sanity.

I attempt to do a fun activity such as playing with Plasticine, a nice little relaxing activity for my boys. Don't be silly, I have never been so God dame frustrated in my life. I have to supervise to make sure everyone has got an equal amount, the same colours and sit in the middle making sure that it does not kick-off. 

I don't need to say anymore then my patience can run very thin.

This has what most of it has been like, seriously sometimes I question why I bother. Sometimes, it is much to turn the telly on and deal with the crippling guilt of being the 'slummy mummy'.

Roll on Monday where I can breathe and enjoy the silence without thinking that boys are next door planning on taking over the world.

Cheers for reading X

Monday, 1 June 2020

8 ways to help your child sleep during a heatwave

Hey readers,

We are in the midst of a heatwave and it so hot in the evenings. It can be a real struggle for kids to settle and get to sleep. 

There is nothing worse than a miserable child that has not had a good night sleep. There are ways to help cool your child and make it a more of a breeze to settle them for the night.

Below I have come up with some suggestions to help keep kids cool and to sleep at night during a heatwave.

1. Clothing. 

Get rid of all the layers and just have pants or nappies - whatever is appropriate for the age of the child.

2. Bedding. 

Make sure you use the right bedding - either a light tog quilt or what I do with my boys simply uses a thin sheet. They enjoy the comfort but the sheet won't be heavy to make them, even more, hot then they need to be.

3. Bath.

Giving a cold lukewarm shower or bath before bed can help reduce temperature but it is important to make the time in the shower or bath quick because you don't want them to get too cold. I have found that covering your child in talc is a good way to keep the child cool.

4. Blinds. 

I find blackout blinds brilliant at keeping the light out as we are now getting dark nights a lot later. 

With having the windows open before bedtime can keep the room cool and if you can keeping them open during the night helps keep the temperature low. 

5. Fan.

Also, if your child is not distracted by the noise then it might be worth considering a fan to add that extra coolness in the room. 

During the day you can also keep the whole of your home ventilated by having doors and windows open to keep the air following and making the rooms cool. 

Another trick to keep rooms cool is to have the curtains pulled two thirds away to keep that sun from making the room boiling hot.

6. Thermometer. 

If you are like me having a temperature thermometer that accurately measures the room temperature is useful as it gives me that peace of mind to know I can get the room right.

7. Drink. 

Before putting your child to bed a good suggestion is swapping the usual hot milky drink that they have before bed and swapping it for a cold milk drink. 

This way then they will help keep your child's body temperature cool. In addition, you could consider putting the bottle or cup into the fridge to keep it at a cool temperature.

8. Chillout. 

It is important to keep the child calm before bed because if they get too excitable that can also increase the child's temperature.

 Making sure you do activities that are calming for the child such as watching a relaxing tv show, having some quiet time and reading a book can all help keep things calm and settled.

What things help you keep your child cool during the night of a heatwave? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Thank you for reading. X

Sunday, 31 May 2020

My Sunday photo 31/05/2020

Friday, 29 May 2020

Periods after pregnancy.

Hey readers,

I am on my period and it sucks physically and mentally every single month. It feels like hell! I know it is like this for a lot of women.

 However, since I gave birth something happened to my biology I think. I have noticed that post postnatal changes have occurred and one thing that has happened is changing in my periods which has impacted me emotionally each month when I have my period.

I feel like it is a battle mentally. I am a washed with dread a few days before my period arrives. I am terrified and on edge. I feel like I am literally on eggshells, I break down at the slightest thing. I feel fragile and terrified.

 My adrenalin is so high and I can't sleep which doesn't add to the mix because we all know lack of sleep can cause you to be irritable.

I am raging and want someone to give me concrete answers to such grey questions. I feel like I will always be like this and I get so angry because I want to run away from myself but I am stuck with me. 

I hate it and I get so jealous of the husband who is so carefree and relaxed. I hate anxiety, the way it torments me and makes my thoughts going into a fast racing mode. Why do I have to be like this, every fucking month?

 I hate it and I feel rubbish. I am non-stop shaking inside and out. I know the mood swings have got worse since I entered motherhood. Every month I am like this, there are times when I wish I could just rip out my womb!

If the emotional side of having a period was enough to deal with there is the pain that comes along with it too and again it is considerably worse. Before my first pregnancy, I would suffer mild cramps that I could manage with some paracetamol.

 Now, I want to cry from the pain in my stomach. I feel like someone has punched me in the vagina and every time I have a poo it reminds me of being in labour and pushing out a baby. 

I can't lift my sons up as my back during the time of the month is so achy and feels like I have spent all day bend over when in reality I have done sod all.

I just needed to rant as I have had these for years and if sucks being female sometimes.

Have you experienced differences after given birth in terms of changes associated with your period? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

Wednesday, 27 May 2020

Why social media is good.

Hey readers,

We all get bogged down in the negative side of social media. So lets for today celebrate all the good aspects of social media because I am a firm believer that there is bad and good in everything if you look close enough.

The internet is a good way to express yourself. I know for me I find verbal communication really, really difficult due to being autistic. Therefore, writing things down on my blog has really helped and it is a therapeutic process in getting my thoughts in order. 

There is also a great autistic community on twitter for example where you can openly discuss topics, it is great to get responses back. It can help other people understand you and help get more personal awareness out on specific topics.

As a parent and someone who struggles with mental health, loneliness is a feeling that has occurred over the years. I find the internet fantastic to connect with other similar people, whether it be through blogging, reading other people's experience, tweeting or even discussing worries/feelings in forums.

 Also,the internet can be a useful way to distract yourself from focusing on negativity. It really has helped me get out of that funk.

The internet can be used to speak to people far away or even close which is vital in helping with mental health. An example of this would be the current situation we are dealing with regarding coronavirus and social distancing. Using communicational platforms such as Facebook messenger and WhatsApp helps us connect to people where otherwise it is difficult. Not to mention it is much cheaper compared to phoning someone up. 

The internet is a splendid place if you want to get lost. With so much information out there, it is great to enhance your learning. You can even find scholarly type materials on google or good old YouTube.

The internet is definitely one way to get free entertainment and to do stuff without breaking the bank balance.  There is so many options, some examples are; watching YouTube videos, listening to radio, using social media and evening writing blogs ;)

If we look at recent events from this year especially in politics it demonstrates that the internet has a powerful voice. The cyber-world can influence for the good and make positive changes.

 A example of this would be with the way the internet has evolved politics with such matters of politicians being more transparency, though it is a slow process, it is something that is being taken seriously, especially with the way that majority of people get their information from the internet. 

Gone were the days when it was a two leadership battle, with having the internet it opens doors for more choice. Therefore, politicians have to work harder to get them likes and ultimately the power to change the lives of the ordinary public.

The internet is a great source of information where you can educate on all sorts of stuff. Whether be learning a new skill or finding some information for your child's homework there is a wealth of knowledge on the net that can be beneficial with helping your learn. 

What positives do you find in social media? Love to hear your comments in the comment section below.

Cheers for reading X

Monday, 25 May 2020

Getting kids out the front door.

Hey readers,

Why are children super fast when they want to be but as soon as a parent is desperate to get out the front door the same child does not comply with the urgency.

Here are some thoughts and conversations I have when trying to get kids ready and out the sodding door which you may or may nor relate to but keeping it real nonetheless.

1. Please get ready, we need to get to school on time before the gates closed. This comment generally occurs four times out of five on a school week *sigh*!

2. I hate you hubby for giving me the task of getting the boys ready, you absolute tool especially on a school day where the task of the little darlings to get there shoes on leaves me flustered and red-faced. 

3. If you don't get ready fast then I am going to turn off the TV. However soon after you need to turn the TV to get the kid's hair done without tears and tantrums. Not to mention that it gets the job done quicker and means that we get out of the door quicker

4. If you don't get ready I will phone your dad and you will be in serious trouble. (Let's face it no one wants to hear your daddy yell at you, even mummy gets scared with the decibels used).

5. When it gets close to birthday/Christmas or any special event that is important to your little darlings, it is the ultimate blackmail to get them ready and out the door promote. If parenting gets so bad it will be threatening every single day.

6. Shall I ask your teacher if you are like this at school? seems my son fears this one because he is so angelic he doesn't want the illusion to vanish from the teacher's eyes. Works a treat to kick his bottom into gear.

7. Threats about no pudding go down a treat (yes pun intended). Because it is common knowledge in the parent world that bribes are key to keeping everything nice and calm *wink, wink*!

8. If in doubt and you desperate bribes can be used to keep your own sanity intact. If ANYONE disagrees then they could bloody well come round at 7am and deal with the problem for me, no problem with that I tell you.

9) Stare at your child, it gives them the willies that the arguments must stop or mummy is going to lose her sh*t big time. This normally occurs when on a Friday because we all tired and about had enough of having to go through this drama for the fifth time this week.

10. If your child loves school as much as mine threatens that if they don't get dressed won't go to the school that day and do nothing all day at home. 

11. Now is not the time to look for that Fungus and Mungus as we need to be somewhere in ten minutes. 

Amazing how effective that is and they comply with your need of them getting their socks on.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 24 May 2020

my Sunday photo 24/05/2020

Friday, 22 May 2020

24 gradiutation quotes to get you inspired!

Hey readers, 

It soon is coming to the end of the university year and final year students will be successful in completing their degree. 

Now due to the Coronavirus, a lot of summer graduations are cancelled for obvious reasons. However, you can still celebrate with a few celebration words on a card or photo on Instagram.

Sometimes it is hard to find the words but a good quote always goes down well. So, here are 24 graduation quotes to inspire you to celebrate the success of completing a degree or someone else achieving getting a degree. 

       1. “Do all the other things, the ambitious things—travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes…but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness.” - George Saunders.

2. “There is nothing more beautiful than finding your course as you believe you bob aimlessly in the current. Wouldn’t you know that your path was there all along, waiting for you to knock, waiting for you to become? This path does not belong to your parents, your teachers, your leaders, or your lovers. Your path is your character defining itself more and more every day like a photograph coming into focus.” - Jodie Foster.

3. “You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world.” - Tom Brokaw.

4. “Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive: easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.”- Henry Peter Brougham. 

5. “What we learn with pleasure we never forget.”- Alfred Mercier.

6. “Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honours!” - Louisa May Alcott.

7. “Instruction ends in the schoolroom, but education ends only with life.” - Frederick W. Robertson.

8. “An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”- Benjamin Franklin.

9. “Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” - Les Brown.

10. “Your life is your story, and the adventure ahead of you is the journey to fulfil your own purpose and potential.”- Kerry Washington.

11. “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Gandhi.

12. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” -Will Rogers.

13.  My favourite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out. There are going to be times in your life when you’re going to have to stick your neck out. There will be challenges and instead of hiding in a shell, you have to go out and meet them.” - Ruth Westheimer.

14. "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go."- Dr. Seuss.

15.  List your strengths and don't be shy. Celebrate the things you do well. Trust your decisions. Take action. - Erica Hudson.

16.  You are graduating, but don't think school is over, the school of life is just beginning. Keep learning! - Catherine Pulsifer.

17. Don't make excuses, don't blame the past. The rest of your life can be the best of your life! - Joel Osteen.

18. "Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference." - Arie Pencovici.

19.  "Never doubt you were born to do great things!" - Catherine Pulsifer.

20. "The secret of unleashing your true power is setting goals that are exciting enough that they truly inspire your creativity and ignite your passion." - Anthony Robbins.

21. "Make each day your masterpiece." - John Wooden.

22.  "Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience." - Paulo Coelho. 

23. "If we all did the things that we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." - Thomas Edison.

24.  "You'll never achieve real success unless you like what you're doing." - Dale Carnegie.

Cheers for reading X 

Thursday, 21 May 2020

If You Love Me (Book Review)

Hey readers,

 If You Love Me by Alice Keale is a brilliant book to question trust and what extend you would go to prove your love for someone.

The story is based on the relationship between Alice and her boyfriend called Joe. Alice as an individual you feel really sorry for as she is portrayed to have low self-esteem and is seeking approval regardless and would go to great lengths to get that approval. 

The sad thing is that she is quite vulnerable and attracts not very good men who would treat her right.

It looks at the relationship between Alice and Joe and how it unravels to lead to horrific emotional and physical abuse Joe buts on Alice.

 What gets me is the friends and family seem to accept it even though they come looking for Alice and then I don’t know just vanish again, even though the horrific treatment from Joe towards Alice.

 It is a pretty awful situation as you can only do so much but clearly, power has a huge influence. It starts off with small things then spirals into a total loss of control.

Alice, in the end, loses everything and is left scared of life. Ok, Alice was not totally truthful with who she was meeting, who happened to be one of her ex’s, but she thought it was best because she felt she needed to end the affair with this man. She felt that past being dumped herself by her previous partner by phone was awful so she felt it was best to deliver the news face-to-face.
Therefore, you get the feeling she is just trying to do the decedent thing.

 Problem is Joe is untrustworthy. Leading him to find out and go to extreme lengths to manipulate Alice and even at one point getting Alice admitted into a psychiatric ward. The sad thing is that psychologists they saw Alice said that the reaction to Joe was extreme and over the top and that Alice clearly does not need to be in a psychiatric setting.

The whole over the reaction from Joe may be down to the fact that Joe’s mum relationship broke down with his father at a young age due to an affair that his father committed.

But here is the thing Alice did nothing wrong, she never cheated on anyone, she never slept with Anthony after she met Joe. 

So, the extreme abuse was uncalled for and any level headed person can see that. But with low self-esteem and sleep deprivation resulted in Alice thinking illogically causing her to accept Joe’s behaviour and doing whatever he asked of her.

Then one day out of the blue Joe tells Alice to go to her parents’ house in Devon as he needs a rest and time alone. He then calls Alice at a later date and ends the relationship abruptly, again always having the control right to the end.

Then things turned worse for Alice she lost all her money, her home, job and life in London. She spends weeks in bed and basically went through a similar experience of people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.

She has not been to the police which is sad because of the threads of power Joe has over her. She has to change job because Joe is in a similar job environment.

The sad thing really is the injustice of Joe getting away with it and potentially treated another person in a similar way.

Alice has to totally rebuild her life whilst Joe is doing well and moving further up in his career. Alice now has to change her job and start at the bottom.

With help from friends and family, she is slowly rebuilding her life. But due to NHS waiting list as she now cannot afford private therapy she has to battle for months with the mental torture that has been inflicted by Joe.

After reading this you feel angry but afraid for the next victim of Joe’s. You hope that justice is met and does get you thinking politically about the rules within criminal justice. 

It is a really emotional read and a page-turner but be warned it is not for the light-hearted.

Cheers for reading X