How to Find Time for Yourself as a Mum.

Hey readers, 

As a mother, it can be challenging to find time for yourself.

 Between taking care of your children, managing the household, and possibly working outside the home, it can feel like there are not enough hours in the day. 

However, it is important to prioritise self-care and find ways to carve out time for yourself. 

Here are some tips on how to find time for yourself as a mum.

1. Schedule it in.

One of the best ways to ensure that you have time for yourself is to schedule it. 

Just like you would schedule a doctor's appointment or a meeting, make an appointment with yourself. 

Choose a time that works for you, whether it is early in the morning before the kids wake up, during nap time, or in the evening after the kids have gone to bed. 

Put it on your calendar and treat it like any other appointment.

2. Ask for help.

It can be challenging to ask for help, but it is essential to get the support you need. 

Reach out to family members, friends, or neighbours and ask if they can watch your children for an hour or two.

 If you have a partner, discuss the importance of self-care and see if they can take on some additional responsibilities to give you some time to yourself.

3. Practice self-care.

Self-care means taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

This can include things like exercise, meditation, reading a book, or taking a relaxing bath. 

Find activities that make you feel good and prioritise them.

 Even if you only have a few minutes, use that time to do something that brings you joy.

4. Let go of perfection.

As a mum, it can be easy to fall into the trap of wanting everything to be perfect. 

However, this can lead to burnout and exhaustion. Let go of the idea of perfection and focus on what is most important.

 It is okay to let the dishes sit in the sink for a little longer or to order takeout instead of cooking a homemade meal. 

Prioritise your well-being over the idea of perfection.

5. Find support.

Connecting with other mums can be a great way to find support and understanding. 

Join a local mothers' group, attend a parenting class, or connect with other mums online.

 Having a support system can help you feel less alone and provide valuable advice and encouragement.

In conclusion, finding time for yourself as a mum is essential for your well-being. 

By scheduling time for yourself, asking for help, practising self-care, letting go of perfection, and finding support, you can prioritise your own needs and feel more fulfilled as a mum. 

Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish, it is necessary.

Cheers for reading X 

My Sunday photo 07/01/2024

 

We took the boys out yesterday to a music sensory centre and they absolutely loved it! 

Protecting my autistic kids from their grandparent!

Hey readers, 

Parenting comes with its own set of challenges, and when you add the complexities of raising children with autism into the mix, the journey becomes even more nuanced.

One of the tough decisions I've had to make is restricting my autistic kids' interaction with their grandparents due to concerns of physical and emotional abuse stemming from a lack of understanding about autism.

Autism is a spectrum, and each child's experience with it is unique. 

Unfortunately, not everyone comprehends the intricacies of autism, and, in the case of my children's grandparents, their disbelief in the condition has created an environment that I deem unsafe for my kids.

The disbelief in autism isn't merely a difference of opinion; it translates into a lack of acceptance and understanding of my children's challenges.

 This lack of acknowledgement can lead to harmful situations where my kids are subjected to treatment that doesn't accommodate their needs.

 Whether it's disregarding sensory sensitivities or misinterpreting communication struggles, the potential for physical and emotional harm is a constant worry.

Autistic individuals often require specialised support and understanding. 

Grandparents who don't believe in autism might unintentionally dismiss or trivialise the challenges my kids face.

 

This dismissal can manifest in frustration, impatience, or even disciplinary actions that aren't tailored to the unique needs of neurodivergent children.

Protecting my children's emotional well-being is paramount. Exposing them to an environment where they are not understood or accepted can lead to profound emotional distress. 

Children with autism can be more vulnerable to anxiety and depression, and subjecting them to situations where their needs are invalidated can exacerbate these challenges. 

As a parent, my responsibility is to create a safe and supportive environment that fosters their emotional growth and resilience.

The decision to limit contact with grandparents isn't taken lightly. It's a painful choice that stems from a deep concern for my children's safety and well-being. 

While I recognise the significance of the grandparent-grandchild relationship, prioritising my kids' needs and protecting them from potential harm takes precedence.

Communication has been a pivotal component in navigating this delicate situation.

 I've attempted to engage in open and honest conversations with the grandparents, hoping to bridge the gap of understanding. 

Unfortunately, if the foundational belief in autism's legitimacy is absent, it becomes challenging to foster a dialogue that can lead to positive change.

It's essential to highlight that this decision is not about withholding love or creating divisions within the family. 

Rather, it's a strategy born out of a parent's responsibility to shield their children from harm. 

As a parent, advocating for my children's well-being sometimes means making tough choices that others may not fully comprehend.

In conclusion, the decision to limit my autistic kids' interaction with their grandparents is a painful but necessary step to protect them from potential physical and emotional harm. 

Autism is a reality that demands acknowledgement and understanding, and when these foundations are absent, it becomes crucial to prioritise the safety and emotional well-being of my children. 

While challenging, this decision stems from a deep commitment to creating an environment that supports and uplifts my kids as they navigate the unique complexities of autism.

Cheers for reading X

10 Hilarious Signs You're Absolutely Skint in January!

Hey readers, 

As the remnants of tinsel cling desperately to lamp posts and the echoes of Auld Lang Syne fade into the distance, January arrives like a stern headmistress ready to teach us all a lesson in frugality.

If your wallet is feeling lighter than a soggy crumpet, fear not you're not alone in the land of the financially challenged. 

Here are 10 unmistakable signs that you're skint in January, British style:

1. The 15p Bag Dilemma.

   You find yourself standing at the supermarket checkout, clutching a basketful of essentials, and the cashier asks, "Do you need a bag?" Suddenly, a profound sense of existential crisis hits you.

 The internal debate begins: "Do I shell out 15p for a bag, or do I stuff my pockets and attempt a precarious balancing act on the way home?" Welcome to the 15p bag dilemma, the epitome of January thriftiness.

2. The Bargain Aisle Odyssey.   

   Forget the glamorous end-of-aisle displays; your destination is the hallowed ground of the bargain aisle.

 You've become a scavenger of discounted goods, proudly emerging with a trolley full of random items that would make even the most experienced bargain hunter raise an eyebrow.

 Who knew you could survive on tinned sardines and reduced-price custard?

3. DIY Central Heating.

   The thermostat becomes your mortal enemy as you embark on a mission to lower heating bills.

 Suddenly, you're wrapped in layers that would make an onion jealous, and your living room is lit only by the warm glow of nostalgia for the days when central heating was a given.

 You've become a living embodiment of the saying, "It's not cold; it's character-building."

4. The 'Free Trial' Connoisseur.

   You've mastered the art of the 'free trial' hustle. From streaming services to fitness apps, you're the maestro of exploiting trial periods with different email addresses. 

The goal? To binge-watch every series and get fit for free before the trial runs out. It's a delicate dance of email aliases and a celebration of your inner digital gymnast.

5. The Tea Bag Recycling Program.

   When it comes to tea, every bag counts. You've implemented a strict tea bag recycling program, stretching the life of a single bag to unprecedented lengths. 

The words "weak tea" are no longer an insult but a badge of honour, and the teapot has become your ally in the fight against January financial woes.

6. The Busker Applause Dilemma.

   You find yourself applauding street performers with unparalleled enthusiasm, not out of genuine appreciation for their craft but as a subtle apology for not contributing any loose change.

 You've become a connoisseur of awkward applause, the unsung hero of the cash-strapped masses.

7. Meal Prep Olympics.

   Forget about gourmet meals; you're now competing in the Meal Prep Olympics.

 Your culinary prowess revolves around creating a week's worth of meals from the remnants of your cupboard, and suddenly, tinned beans become a versatile ingredient worthy of a Michelin-starred chef.

8. The Sales Rack Scavenger Hunt.

   Retail therapy takes a frugal twist as you embark on a sales rack scavenger hunt.

 Armed with a magnifying glass and a Sherlock Holmes hat, you navigate through crowded stores in search of the elusive 90% off sticker. 

Who cares if it's a size too big or in a colour that clashes with your complexion? It's a bargain, and bargains know no fashion rules.

9. Mastering the Art of Rain Dodging.

   Umbrellas are for the financially stable. You, on the other hand, have become a rain-dodging ninja, strategically timing your dashes between awnings and shop entrances. 

Suddenly, a light drizzle feels like a personal financial attack, and you've become a maestro of dodging droplets without a waterproof shield.

10. The Mobile Data Tightrope Act.

    Your mobile data plan is a precarious tightrope, and you walk it with the grace of a circus performer. 

Every Instagram scroll, every YouTube video it's a high-stakes game of financial brinkmanship. 

You've become a data-saving wizard, mastering the art of Wi-Fi mooching and strategic airplane mode activations.

In conclusion, being skint in January is practically a national pastime, and if you resonate with these signs, welcome to the club of thrifty Brits navigating the post-holiday financial maze with a stiff upper lip and a pocketful of coppers. 

Remember, it's just a temporary state of financial acrobatics, and with a splash of  humour, you'll survive the month with your sense of humour intact.

 Here's to laughing in the face of January fiscal challenges and embracing the absurdity of it all! Cheers, guv'nor!

Cheers for reading x 

My Sunday photo 31/12/2023

 

Wishing all my readers a happy new year for 2024! I hope it is filled with peace and joy  ☺ 

Compulsive Online Spending: Breaking the Cycle

Hey readers, 

In today's digital age, the convenience of online shopping has revolutionised the way we shop. 

With a few clicks, we can have our favourite products delivered to our doorstep, making shopping easier than ever before. 

However, this convenience has also given rise to a concerning phenomenon: compulsive online spending. 

In this blog post, we will explore the causes, consequences, and strategies to break the cycle of compulsive online spending.

The Allure of Online Shopping.

Online shopping offers a plethora of benefits that make it irresistible for many. 

The convenience of browsing and purchasing products from the comfort of your home, a wide variety of options, and the ability to compare prices with ease are just a few of the advantages.

 Furthermore, online retailers often use persuasive techniques, such as personalised recommendations and limited-time offers, to encourage purchases.

The Causes of Compulsive Online Spending.

Compulsive online spending, often referred to as compulsive buying disorder (CBD), is characterised by an uncontrollable urge to shop online, even when it leads to financial, emotional, or social problems. 

Several factors contribute to the development of this disorder:

1. Emotional Triggers: Stress, anxiety, loneliness, or boredom can trigger compulsive online spending as individuals seek comfort or distraction through shopping.

2. Easy Access: The internet is always accessible, making it easy to shop impulsively whenever the mood strikes.

3. Social Comparison: Social media platforms often showcase others' lifestyles and possessions, creating a sense of inadequacy that can drive excessive spending to keep up with perceived standards.

4. Lack of Awareness: Some individuals may not even realise they have a problem until they are faced with mounting debt or financial crises.

The Consequences of Compulsive Online Spending.

Compulsive online spending can have devastating consequences on an individual's life:

1. Financial Distress:  Overspending can lead to debt, financial instability, and even bankruptcy.

2. Emotional Impact: Feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety often accompany compulsive online spending, worsening the cycle.

3. Relationship Strain: Financial issues can strain relationships with family and friends, leading to isolation.

4. Decline in Well-being: Over time, the pursuit of material possessions may overshadow other aspects of life, resulting in reduced overall well-being.

 Strategies to Break the Cycle.

Overcoming compulsive online spending is not easy, but it is possible with the right strategies:

1. Self-awareness: Recognise the problem and acknowledge the emotional triggers that lead to compulsive spending.

2. Set Limits: Establish a budget and stick to it. Avoid using credit cards or saving them for emergencies only.

3. Delete Shopping Apps: Remove shopping apps from your devices to reduce the ease of making impulse purchases.

4. Find Alternatives: Seek healthier ways to cope with stress and negative emotions, such as exercise, meditation, or talking to a therapist.

5. Accountability: Share your goals with a trusted friend or family member who can help keep you on track.  

6. Unsubscribe and Unfollow: Reduce exposure to online retailers and influencers who encourage excessive spending.

7. Delay Gratification: Implement a "waiting period" before making non-essential purchases. This can help break impulsive buying habits.

8. Professional Help: If compulsive online spending continues to be a problem, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counsellor who specialises in addiction and impulse control.

Compulsive online spending can be a challenging issue to overcome, but it is possible with awareness, self-control, and support. 

By understanding the causes, and consequences, and implementing strategies to break the cycle, individuals can regain control of their finances and overall well-being.

 Remember that seeking professional help is a valid and effective option for those struggling with compulsive buying disorder. 

Breaking free from compulsive online spending is a journey toward financial stability and emotional health, and it is worth every effort.

Cheers for reading X

Beating the Christmas blues.

Hey readers, 

While twinkling lights, festive music, and the cheerful moods filling every space promise a magical holiday season...the reality often feels far from picture-perfect.

 

Financial strains, demanding social obligations, sadness over lost loved ones, and impossible-to-meet expectations contribute to what experts call the “Christmas blues."

Up to 1 in 12 people battle mild to more serious symptoms of anxiety, depression, and loneliness during the holidays.

 You are not alone or imagining things if your most wonderful time of the year is leaving you overwhelmed and down. 

Arm yourself with coping strategies, support, perspective shifts, and self-care habits to prevail over the Christmas blues this year.  

Where Do the Holiday Blues Stem From?  

Christmas cheer seems to fill every space from November through New Year’s Eve.

 The stark contrast between the ever-playing holiday music and the actual internal mood makes feelings of grief, frustration and disconnect more apparent during the season of joy.  

Additionally, no holiday inflates expectations and stresses tied to money, family, food and hosting more than Christmas.

 The pressure to create perfect memories despite not having the time, budget or relationships to fulfil idealised visions leaves many feeling inadequate. 

Finding Relief from Holiday Blues

If you feel crushed under the weight of Christmas letdowns or harbour bitterness over all that remains unfulfilled, purposefully incorporate these strategies:

• Set Realistic Expectations: Aim for connection over perfection so you feel less disappointed. 

• Reflect on Highlights vs Shortcomings: Recognise this season held beauty despite struggles. 

 

• Make Time for Self-Care: Don’t abandon healthy habits that bolster mental health. 

• Limit Social Media Use: Reduce comparisons to unrealistic portrayals flooding feeds. 

• Seek Out Community Support Groups: You are not alone in this struggle. 

• Practice Gratitude: Appreciate current blessings rather than fixate on deficits. 

• Prioritise Sleep, Diet and Exercise: Caring for your body stabilises emotions. 

• Embrace Your Feelings: Allow yourself to grieve, wrestle, and process without shame. 

Christmas won’t Always Feel This Blue. 

By permitting yourself to feel, strategically caring for your whole self, embracing support, and centring connection over commercialised visions of full holiday happiness, you can lessen 

the intensity of Christmas blues. 

Reframe your expectations while proactively caring for your emotional needs amid this chaotic season. 

Gift yourself grace, space to process honestly, and the comfort of community. 

You’ll make it through to the fresh start a new year provides!

Cheers for reading X