34 things to do when sad

Hey readers,

I suffer from depression and sometimes it can be easy to get stuck in feeding into the negative thoughts. What I sometimes find helpful is to stop and do something productive. 

So I have written a list of helpful things (also I go to when complete forget everything).

1.  Read a newspaper.

2. Colour in.

3. Meditation.

4. Go for coffee.

5. Practice handwriting.

6. Go to the shop and buy a magazine.

7. Read a book.

8. Clean (wash up, hoover, put clothes away etc).

9. Shower.

10. Take a walk.

11. Doodle.

12. Mind map - blog ideas etc.

13. A hot cup of tea.

14. Wear a chunky jumper.

15. Cook a recipe.

16. Brush hair/plait hair.

17. Watch mindful videos.

18. Watch something funny.

19. Write some poetry.

20. Play with clay - get creative.

21. Take some photos.

22. Paint nails.

23. Sing a song.

24. Dance your heart out.

25. Walkthrough woodlands.

26. Watch the sun setting.

28. Stroke a furry animal.

30. Light a candle.

31. Watch clouds.

32. Deep breathing.

33. Squeeze a stress ball.

34. Write down three positive things in your life.

Is there something you enjoy that is a great distraction? Love to hear your comments in the comment section. 

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 11/08/2019

The struggle is within

Hey readers,

I don't often discuss my parenting issues in relation to my autism, mainly because I am embarrassed and quite frankly ashamed.

I am going to be straight up and honest and say that I struggle with this parenting thing. 

Let's be more specific as I am aware that actually, I am good at some bits. 

Depression would argue but that it is the truth. However, the one area I do struggle with is mainly with my boys and trying to entertain him for long periods. 

I feel guilty if I can't entertain my children but stuck in a dilemma where I can't concentrate on people for long periods of time, it totally exhausted me. 

I am also an introvert so therefore need time alone to store back my energy. I find interacting exhausting as a lot of the time I am thinking beforehand about how to communicate.

 The times when I am not thinking are when I am being impulsive due to anxiety therefore not censoring and not always saying the right. 

Not really rude, just random and repetitive. Kinda overlaps with ADHD/OCD traits I have learned. I don't have ADHD but with Aspergers there many overlapping traits from other conditions that are apparent. I digress (a major trait of mine right there).

I find it hard to entertain as there are many thought processes that occur and that is tiring. 9 times out of 10 after ten minutes of play I am exhausted mentally.

 I need to do nothing and shut down as I have used all my energy up focusing on that one action that takes many different social rules.

I think one area that is really tough for like me as an autistic living in a technological world (though most of the time it is the dream) I do get sucked into the whole idea of perfect parenting with this idea that you have to entertain your children all the time.

I am one of the few or many not many other autistic people have spoken out in actually I do care what people think and I am very aware of me. 

I am not dissing autistic people that don't give a dame, in actual fact, I admire you and wish I was bloody like that, hell it would so liberating. But I have not reached that acceptance of me.

I wish I could just be laid back, but it seems I am a worrier and feel that because I am an autistic parent I need to make up for my inadequacies.

Cheers for reading X

Introverted parents

Hey readers,

Sometimes I worry that I am not good enough parent simply because I am an introvert. 

I accept I am an introvert and there are some really good qualities that come with that type of personality.

When I look back as a child I saw people judge me because I didn't always have a voice or couldn't find the words to say what I needed to say. I believe that this was a mix of my personality and having autism.

 Communication is not my strongest point. However, I remember feeling bad because it kept getting mentioned. You see some points in my childhood I lived in the care system and there really was a lot of loud children that wanted to be heard.

 I was judged because I was not the status quo and then it made me question am I good enough?! I used to think that because I was quiet and philosophical in the sense I liked to reflect and ponder over things. 

People notice loud people, that is fine it takes all sorts to make the world go round. The problem is at such a young age I interpreted the messages that I was not good enough. Being quiet wasn't good, I wouldn't get anywhere in life because I couldn't form friendships. 

To me communication meant opportunity. I still believe that to some extent. Nonetheless, I have come to accept who I am and that world needs both quiet and loud as they both in their own right carry brilliant attributes.

Sadly, there is also a downside, like everything I guess. Sadly, you can't change who you are, I love quiet time and crave time alone where I can just be left alone to think. When I have time alone it gives me the opportunity to not have to think about the socialising which coincidently my husband thrives off it.

I am lucky in the sense I have a supportive husband that understands my needs and that yes it is selfish but selfish can be good, especially when it keeps the family home life calm.

I find social interaction exhausting with my children at times. I am not saying I hate my children most of the time I enjoy it and find it really fun and amusing. However, it can be really mentally draining for me. 

I suppose it doesn't help that I am autistic as well so uses up a lot more energy trying to read the social situation. I feel like I am constantly trying to work out how to respond correctly. Not to mention my eldest is also autistic and has his own needs on top of everything else.

I think it takes a lot more energy for introverted parents like myself as I spend more time processing emotional stuff and probably overthinking things a bit too much too. 

This can be good but also can be exhausted as it takes it out of you, let's face it generally parenting is hard work so there is not much energy left for much more.

One good aspect of being an introverted parent is the fact that it can be a positive role model in the sense that shows that it is ok to have quiet time and do your own thing. 

It can also teach children that not every moment someone wants noise and that sometimes people need space.

Cheers for reading X

Reasons to consider acupuncture

Hey readers,

If you have never come across acupuncture then I found a brilliant definition cited form the NHS website that I have copied and pasted below to give you an understanding of what acupuncture is. 

Acupuncture is a treatment derived from ancient Chinese medicine. Fine needles are inserted into certain sites of the body for therapeutic and preventative purposes. Acupuncture is often seen as a form of complementary or alternative medicine. Western medical acupuncture is the use of acupuncture following a medical diagnosis. Ir involved stimulating sensory nerves under the skin of the muscles of the body. This results in the body producing natural substances, such as pain-relieving endorphins. It's likely that these naturally released substances are responsible for the beneficial effects experienced with acupuncture. A course of acupuncture usually creates longer-lasting pain relief than when a single treatment is used. 

So, why should you consider giving acupuncture a go? 

Don't be scared to try something new, though it may be deemed not a traditional form of medicine in the Western world does not mean to say it does not work.

practicers that perform acupuncture are often found in GPs surgeries and other places. 

They are trained and have the right qualifications to perform the procedure.

 However, if you are unsure then you can check out the qualifications of a practitioner online at The British Acupuncture Society where the database of qualified practitioners found.

Try it. 

A lot of people say it works, some say it doesn't but at the end of the day you have to try it to see if it is for you. 

People do not respond all in the same way hence why the different treatment works for some and not others. 

Personal. 

Practitioners view individuals personally and see their situation on an individual case, therefore, they will listen to your needs and wants. 

Feel revitalised. 

 Acupuncture has been described by some to help make them feel more revitalised and in a more relaxed state of mind. 

Addictions.

Accuputre has been successful in helping people with addiction issues such as alcohol and drugs. It has helped some people ease their struggle with withdrawal from their addiction.

Cost. 

Acupuncture is affordable when compared to some other treatment such as talking therapy and can have a significant difference in seeing the benefits which can boost your motivation. 

Insomnia. 

Acupuncture has been known to help people improve their sleep and others who struggle with insomnia. 

Acupuncture can help deal with pain management. It can help relax the mind say if someone is suffering from anxiety can induce deeper sleep and less likely to wake up during the night. 

Energy.

Acupuncture has helped people with pain management, given an increase in endorphins which has lifted peoples mood.

 They say that using acupuncture helps give back the energy flow that may be blocked with some diseases, therefore improving peoples health.

Have you tried acupuncture? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section.

Cheers for reading X 

My Sunday photo 04/08/2019

Anxiety

Hey readers,

As a long-term sufferer from anxiety, I have learned a lot on the way from experiencing anxiety. For one thing, anxiety is the pits!

 At times when feeling anxious, it feels very real especially when your heart is pounding so hard you feel that it may feel out of your body.

Over the years anxiety scared me ironically. I wanted to run away and try to hide from it but if you have ever suffered from anxiety then it will find you and you will be sure made aware of it. If anything running away from the anxiety actually makes it worse in my opinion and the experience I have had of anxiety.

Over the years I have come to one conclusion with anxiety is to accept it for what it is. Ok, it is a regular visitor but it is definitely not a friend because it is not very nice. But accepting it and feeling the feelings is ok, it doesn't make me a failure, which I believed for a very long time.

Accepting the anxiety and knowing that the anxious thoughts are not always true and sometimes my behaviour is just learned from all the years of fear. It is a warped way of protecting myself. 

Now I embrace it, I allow it to come. If I have a panic attack or breakdown in tears I let it come. It is ok and actually, it is so much more manageable than before. 

This mindset has helped. Likewise, with feelings of failure, I know that anxiety is something that may be with me all my life but it doesn't mean I am weak or I give in. I accept it and work with it the best I can at that time.

You have to ride with the anxiety like the waves of the sea. Sometimes I experience anxiety and it can be only a day where I am cribbled with intense dread. 

Other times I go through periods of total exhaustion, tearfulness, panic attacks etc. That is ok. It is ok not to be ok. It is ok not to be superhuman and it is ok to have anxiety. It doesn't make me less of a person. I am not anxiety, anxiety is part of me but there are many more layers to me.

I am still learning about my mental health, it is not easy especially when you are vulnerable and prone to the negativity it can catch you out, anxiety is a bugger like that. 

 But I am with wisdom moving on with anxiety, if it is there it is there but I am not going to run away from it or be scared of it anymore. I think this is one of the most valuable lessons that I have learned in life. I am not superhuman but I can feel and appreciate the feelings. 

They belong to me and I can respond to them anyway I chose. It is my life and the anxiety does not control me, I am the controller of anxiety.

Cheers for reading X