Being an autistic mum at school.

Hey readers,

Today I feel defeated once again. Once again I feel like I have let my children down in the fact that I can't perform as good as the other parents. I have decided to say no to going to school assembly because it is too much for me and my autism. 

I will confess that I hate my children's assembly which is held every Friday morning. I have done it for over two years and now I admit defeat. It is getting more crowded with classes and my senses are getting worked up. 

I get sensory overload as a result of being autistic. I get it really bad and sadly attending assembly is just unbearable. I feel rubbish because I wanted to be this perfect parent but I am not. It is making me feel physically sick from being exposed to the bright lights, the noise, the anxiety and the general chaos of kids coming and going. 

It appears I suffer from motion sickness, only recently has been bothering me. Therefore when kids run to take a sit and go past to go back to their class my head is in a spin. Don't get me wrong nothing personal, I think kids are great and much prefer them to adults - simple and you know what you are getting. 

Sadly, I don't mix well and occasional can be found to put my foot in it. I notice now that parents in cliches and chat. It hurts me because I feel rejected and the black sheep. Ok, my husband is here but I full well know next week when I am not he will be one of them. Yes, I am envious that he can jel and be a normal person, where I will always struggle. 

With having a disability that affects my parenting and stops me from doing things I am constantly trying to compensate for this as a way to balance it out. I don't know why because to be honest my kids love me, they understand and we discuss my autism. 

My eldest completely emphasises and never says a bad word. He has potential autism and that is the one good thing in a way is that with my autism I have inside knowledge and can help him in some areas. Just don't expect me to deal with emotions and relationships because that is not my area of expertise. I am practical-minded, I can come up with things to do that can distract him but if it is grey then I fail yet again. 

It is non stop guilt for me not being good enough. I know it is only me and I put this pressure on, maybe I care too much and have high expectations. I just wish I could drop them because I love my children and I am very proud of them with whatever they do. But we all have our limits and I am designed differently to most parents. Maybe one day I will find a way to drop this horrible guilt when I can't do something. 

Cheers for reading X 

7 tips limiting child's screen time

Hey readers,

Do you struggle with trying to manage screen time then here are some ways you can help get a balance? Let's face it technology is important and a big part of our lives but it is about controlling their lives and not dominating it.

1. Meals.

When you have meals a ban on technology is the best, you will be amazed at how they can adapt. It is a good thing to have as a firm rule as this helps and it means more change of you know talking with one another instead of looking at screens.

 I think it is a much more pleasant way to have dinner together. Also, it allows your child to be mindful of eating instead of rushing. Your child can, therefore, enjoy the simple pleasure of eating their food because when they are on screens they are so preoccupied that they are aware of what is happening to the food when they are eating it.

2. Time.

Set about how much you think realistically a child should use a tablet/computer or whatever and make sure you set a timer and also don't get in on the tech they are using. As children are crafty and can turn it off as I myself have learnt in the past.

3. Ban.

Personally, I think not having technology in a child's room is best whether it is TV or whatever. They then don't get distracted and it definitely improves their sleep without wanting to play games or watch all the cartoons or night long. 

If you have technology in the bedtime you can not monitor it or see what the child is doing, having technology-free zones allows you to monitor what the child is doing online.

4. Hobbies.

Try introducing a new hobby for when they are bored like learning a musical instrument or putting stickers in books anything that keeps their mind busy without having to think about technology.

5. Parental controls.

Make sure when they do use the tablet, for example, make sure that there is parental control especially on things like Google Play because children can easily spend a million pounds on your account if they access in one click. The best way to stay safe is to set a password. 

6. Talk to your child.

Discussing the dangers with your child is really beneficial for them to understand what it means and why you respond to technology the way you do. The more child understands the better chance they will comply with you in working together as a family, instead of fighting and arguing over the technology.

7. Age appropriateness.

Being aware of what your child is doing is key in making sure that what they do on the interest is appropriate for their age. 

My child is 7 and he desperately wants to play Fortnite. There is no way I or his dad would let him, as we feel it is not appropriate even though no one dies in the game. We feel it is too graphic and it is not appropriate, it would not benefit at this time in his life and may trigger him quite badly at this age. It is important to do your research and read or talk to others on their experiences with their children.

What things do you do to help protect your child with screen time?

Cheers for reading X

top 10 reasons to move your body more

Hey readers,

It's January which means we know all about the frequent messages about improving your health. So, why do we need to move more, well let me tell you the benefits of increased activity in your life?

1. Move. 

When you move more you feel so much better physically and mentally to help enhance your quality overall. Hopefully being in better physical health can also have a knock-on effect with general life and the way you respond to it.

2. Doctors. 

Keeping fit can actually reduce the risk of needing to go and see the doctor for help. It produces lowering the risk of developing health conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure.

3. Reminder. 

 If you set your alarm every 20-30 minutes as a reminder to get up and move more can help your spine and allow it to get stressed by just moving around can be a big help towards your posture.

4. Calories. 

 Of course, when you are moving about it helps speed up your metabolism which then means you are burning more calories which is all good in keeping fit and well.

5. Circulation.  

 When you are moving about it helps you with circulation by working your heart and getting vital nutrients and oxygen to the cells. This then helps the body be more efficient and getting the body to work quicker.

6. Warmth. 

When you are moving more it means you are naturally getting more heat to your body and this is really important during the colder months.

 Using exercise is a great technique if you are struggling with the cold even if it is just moving from one room to the other you are working your body and getting warm by working your muscles. Not only is moving good for circulation but also when you walk more, you sweat more which is a natural way for the body to get rid of nasty toxins from the body meaning a more healthy you.

7. Hormones. 

When you are walking the body is producing the feel-good chemical endorphins that help improve your mood but also it is a natural pain reliever which apparently can help reduce the risk of tiny tears in muscles and tendons. Being more active has helped severe suffer from arthritis as overtime keeping active help with reducing stiffness in the body.

8. Metabolism.

Not only does exercise help with your metabolism it also helps with your immune system making it stronger and reducing the risks of getting a cold or any other gem related illnesses.

9. Sleep. 

Exercise helps you get a better quality night sleep which will also work with again improving your immune system and metabolism making your body be even more efficient.

10.Energy. 

 Regularly excising can help improve your energy levels meaning you have the energy to do more stuff which will again it will make you feel better because you are getting stuff done and will enhance your mood.

Do you do exercise and does it help your health?  Love to hear your thoughts.

Cheers for reading X

Sensory autism wish list.

Hey readers,

I am autistic (if you didn't know, I just put it out there!). One thing that helps me is some sensory depending on what the item is. I find sensory items really beneficial and can be a real comfort especially when I am feeling really anxious. So, here are some products that if I had the money I would definitely buy them, till then I just wish for them.

1. Weighted blankets.

Can't start without mentioning the ever popular their ever so popular weighted blanket. I love the feeling of heavy material (I sleep most nights with a quilt, a throw and two sleeping bags, I sh*t you not). I just feel secure when I feel that entrapment on my body, I feel like I am in my own little bubble, especially when I am going through a meltdown a weighted blanket would benefit me a lot. I picked this one because it looked well made. The fabric looks super soft and comforting.

2. Sensory light explosion prism.

I respond very well to low, soft lighting. I am very hypersensitive to lights so it works for me. I really love this sensory light explosion, it looks amazing and the colours are subtle which I appreciate a lot. I don't like really bright lights as they trigger headaches and make me quite stressed due to the sensory of it. This explosion light is 3D and it also changes colour. This light would be a great distraction especially when I go through obsessive thinking and it could help calm me down when I am anxious.

3. Massage Mat.

Basically, this item is a massage mat with Five 12v motors inside a padded mat. Choose different combinations of speeds with the hand-held controller. I like the idea that you can control the strength and there are different settings depending on performance. Personally, I am not a fan of soft tough so I would 100% be hitting the hardest speed because I respond well to really strong and firm movements.

4. Large liquid filled sensory floor tiles.

Now if you have even been to a soft play then you may have come across these sensory floor tiles. I have been lucky too and love them. I think they are amazing to play with, lovely colour arrangement and just all round great tactile product.

5. Giant bubble tube.

I have wanted a bubble tube for so long now. I think they are stunning with colour movement and so calming. They would really help especially if you had a sensory room (that would be the dream right there). The tube has different soothing colours along with bubbles to relax anyone. It absolutely transfixes me for hours as I love light shows to calm me when I am hypo anxiety and would definitely benefit along with my eldest - which  I could imagine both of us together sitting watching it.

Cheers for reading X

10 ways to reduce chronic pain.

Hey readers, 

As a person who suffers from chronic pain, I can totally relate to with wanting to find ways that can help manage my pain. Here are some ways that I have found beneficial in helping me manage pain day today. 

1. Distraction. 

Anything that can take your mind away from the pain can really help, because you can only focus on one thing at a time and if you are focusing on something else then you not putting the emphasis on the pain and that can help a great deal. 

2. Exercise. 

I have suffered during my period week with really bad back pain and the one thing that has helped me is to do exercise and move the muscles. Even if it is just walking and being active can really help over the long period. It is important to take your time and don't push yourself as it is something you can progress when the time is right for and your body. 

3. Counselling. 

If your chronic pain affects you emotionally whether it grieves or a loss or even the feelings of frustrating and not achieving because of your help, something you can consider is counselling to talk someone confidentially about your feelings and getting the emotions out there. 

4. Avoid alcohol. 

I know for some people drinking is a form of escapism and can make you numb the pain but in the long run, it really is not good for your health. Try reducing or avoiding it because though the pain is tough going it can help in the long run with not having the lasting effects after drinking and being in even more pain. 

5. Quit Smoking. 

Research has shown that people in chronic pain are more likely to smoke larger amounts than the general public. I think some people use smoking as a form of pain management but in actual fact can make it worse with circulation and breathing difficulties causing the pain to intensify. Opting to not smoke will help a great deal with making the heart work better and making you're breathing a lot more cleaner. 

6.  Relation techniques. 

Great pain management is taking up relaxation techniques such as progressive muscular relaxation when you work through the body and focus on one muscle at a time. Such as the back consciously letting your muscles relax because when your anxious one of the symptoms is your tense your muscles and that causes pain if it occurs during long periods of time. Allowing time to learn to relax every day can really help give your body time out and relax. 

7. Hot bath.

Hot baths using Epsalt salt (which you can get cheap from Home Bargains) can help with the pain and help with allowing the body to relax and stimulate the blood flow with frozen or stiff joints.  it can also be a safe place to do stretching to help with the muscles that ache. 

What helps you with pain management? 

Cheers for reading X 

Top 8 useful Amazon Alexa skills.

Hey readers,

I assume most people know of the electronic device called an Alexa that can pretty much do any requirement other than say kill or punch someone. So what are the best things you can ask and get off Alexa....Well, let's go exploring as I reveal the top ten useful things Alexa can do for you. 

1. Laugh a minute.

If you need lightening up then look no further as Alexa can give you a joke, a one-liner or even a funny question such as what happens if I stand on Lego or Alexa are you, my father? this will guarantee to put a smile on your face. 

2. Factoid. 

Who doesn't love a good fact then you need to ask Alexa the question of the day where she can provide you with some trivia information. You have to answer the question and you can gain points if you answer correctly. The topics vary from art to news so there so something for everyone. 

3. Play that funky music. 

Want to listen to something and can not be bothered to look? well not anymore with Alexa in your life you can ask her to play any song you like and with seconds you be sure that song will be playing in your speaker. 

4. Two can play that game. 

Got some spare time to kill then why not play a game with Alexa. You can play bingo where Alexa calls out the numbers. If worried about the number cards to tick of the numbers don't worry as you can download them at lovemyecho.com. Alternatively, there is a song quiz where you have to listen to the clues relating to the answer and guess the artist and song title. If that doesn't tickle your fancy then there is the fake news where you have to guess if the headlines are true or not. There are many more but these are some of the types of games you can play with  Alexa. 

5. Get fit.

Did you know that Alexa has workouts for you to do? She can do the 7-minute work out that can be tailored to your needs so it can be easy medium or hard intensity. A great way to do a quick workout and help get fit.

6. Lost something. 

Don't you just hate it when you lose your phone, well not anymore as Alexa can help you find your phone or you need to do is ask, "Alexa, find my phone" and she will ring it for you to help locate where your phone is.  

7. Something cooking?

It can be quite stressful cooking and getting everything together but Alexa can take the pressure off as she can set the timer to help you cook your food and not only that but she can talk you through instructions so you know what you are doing when it comes to cooking the food. 

8. Give you the news headlines and weather.

Who watches the news nowadays, not anymore as Alexa can give you a quick fire-round of the headlines and tell you what the weather is going to be like. Perfect if you want to multi-task in the morning with getting breakfast ready or your bag whilst listening to Alexa. 

Cheers for reading X 

My Sunday Photo 20/01/2019