Disorder

Hey readers,

My word of the week is

DISORDER

Because my home is basically pretty much looks like a drugs den and I would not dare decorate when I have a hubby who's experienced in decorating (not to mention a perfectionist). The downside to this is he is lazy so for months we have walls with blobs of paint to see which we want.

Then suddenly, hubby decides to get his shit together and go ape in the space of three days sanding all the walls and buying paint and painting.

Everything is covered in dust and nothing is rightfully in order, OMG  I  hate it with a passion, why has he always got to be an extremist, grrrrr.

I suppose on a brighter note the walls do not look smother, haha.

Also, had both sets of grandparents different times during the week which instantly means the kids go loopy. But it was nice to have a chance for them and they were so excited telling them about every single thing in detail like we don't need to know about how much poo you have done today, lol!

Cheers for reading X

Mindful

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

MINDFUL

because as a person I am anxious and neurotic at the best times, I am autistic and always self-conscious about how I communicate whether that be verbal or non-verbal. 

I have a lot of self-doubts and I am on edge a lot as a parent. But this week when I have had really high levels of anxiety, I have embraced and gone with it. 

This is something that I am not very good at because it is scary, generally, with my anxiety I get a LOT of intrusive thoughts. 

It has really been really effective, not all the time but a small-time. For me, that is progress because I am a firm believer in baby steps and anxiety is something I have to live with. 

But this week I felt quite proud of my work, it takes a lot of courage to change especially when you are not feeling 100%.

So, I am going to take this opportunity to big myself up because no one else will. You know what I can get stuck perfectionist ways so it is good to see the positive.

Cheers for reading X

Hayfever

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

HAYFEVER

because I am really suffering badly with hayfever. My sinuses keep getting blocked and causing headaches and dizziness. 

I find it really hard to think or make decisions, I don't know it could potentially just being my odd self.

But I am enjoying the breeze this week (when it happens), it is really refreshing. I particularly one of those people who love watching washing dance about on the line, I don't why but I just find it really calming, simple pleasures and all that!

I am glad to be getting this week over with I have had to do a bit of wrapping, which I don't particularly enjoy and may at one point have hurdled the sellotape across the room because it was really annoying me getting caught up and twisted with the tape.

In other news been really glued to the news with regards to the election, I thought 2016 could not top it for an 'interesting' political time, but wooooo, it is getting fierce now.

Cheers for reading X

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

GRUMPY

because sometimes life sucks, especially during the week before your period, which affects me emotionally the worst. Seriously, the smallest things are triggers and I get SO irritated, breathe and I may snap, lol!

It doesn't help that I have a stinking cold courtesy of my boys, cheers lads I love you too ;) So I have been accumulating piles of snot rags with this constant stream of snot, when will it end, boohoo! It sucks too because as a mum you are expected to just get on with it regardless if you feel like hell. I mean my arm could be dangling off and I would still have to get up and wipe my son's arse! Parenting sometimes lovely other times well quite frankly it is pants!

I will be honest I spend most of my time mopping at home, in the most comfortest clothes as I am so bloated. But I am entitled to that because I am a woman and that my friends are a fact!

Hope you have had lovely week readers,

Cheers for reading X

Relax

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

RELAX

I feel really relaxed this week, I think one of the reasons is because I have been embracing laziness, but in a good way ;)

What I am trying to get at is the fact that sometimes it is hard to relax when you feel like you constantly need to be doing something, otherwise, you feel guilty. 

So, this week I have been trying to forget all about them messy thoughts in my head and just relax. Amazing the difference but, it could also be down to the fact it was a bank holiday, therefore less tired form doing the school run.

 I know strangely it is just one day but, one day less than five in my eyes.

I have enjoyed being outside surrounded by nature and snapping away, it is when I am at my happiest and been loving seeing all the different spring flowers blossoming, particularly the tulip.

Cheers for reading X

Engage

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

ENGAGE

I haven't done a word of the week linky for a while because I just wanted a break from all the linkies. 

But truth be told I miss linking up my blog to linkies because it pushes me to engage socially, which is always a positive for an autistic person like myself.

Also, I have learnt it is my blog and I can choose whether I want to participate or not, I don't always have to do it every week. I have learnt not so strict and irritable.

I am not going lie it helps to link up with my stats and I love numbers so always a bonus for me.

Also, I struggle as I tend to get so overwhelmed with blogs that joining in with linkups helps me learn about new content, good or bad, it is food for thought.

 It can provide inspiration or give different avenues for blog ideas

.

Sometimes, you just got to try and see what works for you, I never stop learning and that is one major thing I love about being a blogger.

Cheers for reading X

Half term tiredness

Hey readers,

Today I slept for so long, it was what I body so needed, time to rest my brain and body.  I feel like I need to have a break every now again and shut down to help me compensate for all the pain and work that I put it through.

I think during half-term school holiday I am working harder to socialise and be with others for longer periods of time. Don't get me wrong I adore my children but being autistic it is challenging to spend so long with individuals.

I feel us autistic folk need time to hibernate and re-charge our batteries more than neurotypical people. I think one of the reasons is because I am working that harder to apply social skills that may not necessarily come naturally to me.

Then there is the emotional side where I beat myself up over my shortfalls to a ridiculous amount. One of the reasons because you can’t help but compare yourself to other random people, even though you don’t know through social media.

I always view my autism as a battle, something I have to get up and deal with every single day. On top of that, I have to deal with the internal battle of low self-esteem and dealing myself as a parent.

Most of the time I feel like I am blagging this whole parenting thing and I put so much energy into trying to function like everyone else that I burn myself out, hence the breaks and shutdown.

So, that is one of the many struggles I have as an autistic parent, it is never easy but I am thankful for my blog. It is true what they say that writing things down may not cure my situation but it is a place to clear my mind of the many thoughts that are buzzing around in my head.

Cheers for reading X