Festive

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

FESTIVE

Because it is all about finishing of all the presents to get ready without the children around. On Friday both boys will break up for the Christmas period and it is amazing how extra long it takes to do anything with a kid in tow. So, I am making the most of my childfree time.

In other news, we finally got out lovely glittery Christmas tree up that covers everything in glitter, joy! 

To help me get Christmassy I listened to a bit of Frank Sinatra Christmas songs whilst decorating the tree. I am so glad I didn't buy any more cards, as when the box of Christmas stuff came down I forgot all the purchases during January sales I got, all I say I love a good bargain!

On Tuesday hubby, ds2 and I got to see my eldest perform as a snowman in his Christmas performance at school. Was so lovely to see him dance and sing. He looked adorable in his snowman suit.

Cheers for reading X

Hibernating

Hey readers,

 

My word of the week is:

Hibernating

This is because I am just so tired this week due to the weather being meh and sucking all my energy out. It's so dark and grey that I just can't muster the motivation to get a single thing done. If it weren't for the responsibilities of having children I would spend my time drinking copious amounts of tea and reading the kindle in bed. One can dream though hey, but in reality I am mere a bouncing trampoline for my sons!

On a more positive note I have finally worked out how to use the reward chart properly for the boys albeit with help form a professional. Now it is a lot more cleared to understand and better to manage. I definately have seen an improvement in the boys behaviour since we have introduced the reward chart.  More so in my eldest but that is understandable as my youngest is not fully aware what the heck is happening other then shinny stickers!  Luckily however my youngest likes to copy my eldest so he is pretty much well behaved in the grand scheme of things.

Now on to more pressing matters in my household: POTTY TRAINING!!!

We have started to do some potty training in a relaxed way so that my youngest gets used it the whole idea. He is now aware when he needs a wee and loves washing his hands. That is his favourite thing to do at nursery, haha! He also promptly tells me when he has done a poo, announcing ewwwww and then points to his bottom!

He did his first poo in his potty this week which we all celebrated and danced to. I never thought that I would ever get so excited about poo. My youngest does love to explore his potty. I am very proud of him as he is so good and helpful which  makes the job a lot easier to tackle.

 

Cheers for reading X

fool

I'm stood like a fool,

the outcast that I am,

no one knows

the mask I hold.

forever trying to be

something I am not.

I never will reach,

I am just not good,

I wish was

then maybe life

would be much better.

instead I am stuck,

with my brain fu*ked.

Singing

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

This is because my eldest has been practising all his new songs and singing every night. He has a Christmas performance next week and is really authentic about it. 

He is super excited to be performing so I have to spend a lot of my evenings hearing him singing away at a very high pitch ;)

In other news, we got our tree up and that was fun decorating it with the boys. Although, shhh, me and hubby later in the evening re-arranged the decorations or else it would look somewhat uneven. Which is fine but at top looks so bare, haha!

I have also nearly done all the Christmas present shopping, whoop. We need to get the main present which is a doll's house from Asda. Which I am super excited as hubby finally caved in and we are going to be getting it. It is massive but luckily we have found a suitable for it to live.

Cheers for reading X

FTMOB - November

Hey readers,

My five year old son never stops rabbiting. Seriously, I mean am not an outgoing and suffer with social anxiety. His dad is friendly and can talk to random people. My son however is on another level. 

He is non-stop chat from the moment he wakes till he hits his head on the pillow. He get's very exhausted and just don't know how he hasn't suffered from jaw ache yet! 

Anyone lets get cracking on some conversations shall we:

I live on sixteen floor tower block and my ds1 said to me today, "mummy, we live in a really tall tower block today". 

I can't really capture it through words but just the relavation and astonishment really cracked me up.

Yesterday we went out to a local cafe for some lunch and my youngest has been poorly from a sickness bug. It has resulted in him losing his appetite and suffering from constipation. 

Which is very usual for him as a regular poo deliver. Daddy earlier said to my ds1 we needed to get some orange juice to help make his brother feel better. So when my ds1 was choosing a drink he said, "I gave him orange juice because I know he is not well and it would help me feel better". 

Seriously my son can really push my buttons and we do clash as we are so alike.  However, ds1 is so caring and thoughtful it really does melt your heart.

Close by near our home there is a single tree with a box around it  but it has gaps where the kids walk into it. My eldest loves calling it 'jail'.

On the bus today I and my eldest were discussing Father Christmas. This is how the conversation unravelled so funny and logical really. Him - "Father Christmas on Christmas Eve travels all AROUND the world to deliver presents to EVERYONE. When he has finished he is so tired that he needs to rest all day". 

Honestly, I pissed myself laughing, it was such a brilliant thought.

Finally, my youngest earlier was playing with our cat with the cat teaser stick. He was bending round to see him and calling him,'Monty, Monty'. Which I think is just adorable.

Cheers for reading X

Wet

Hey readers,

My word of the week is :

WET

This is because this weather we have been experiencing recently has been wet and dame right miserable.

I hate leaving the house when it is bitterly cold but still I have to do the school run, boo. I  look like a drowned rat, I am so cold after getting drenched in the wet.

It has dampened my mood, I feel a bit meh, maybe because it a time of the month to boot.

Right now, I have no motivation, other than to snuggle down in a blanket and close all the blinds and forget about the world.

One thing I do love when it is so grim outside is comfort food. We have a pork joint and I am overly excited about that being cooked in the oven. I can't wait to have gravy and mash. 

To me, that is the ultimate in-home comforts. Well, and fluffy socks is the second winner.

Cheers for reading X

Unknown Territory

Hey readers,

One of the big issues with my Autism is anxiety particularly when I go to a new place. So I shall tell you about such an incident so you can get a feel want it is like for me personally.

I took my boys to the zoo this week and as much as I love the outdoors/wildlife the new situation caused me to feel very anxious.

When we went to the zoo it was half term so it was super busy. Also, I had not been out as a family for a while to somewhere new therefore contributing to making me feel even more anxious.

I get overwhelmed with being in new places because I have to take in all my environment.

I feel powerless as I don't know what to expect as it is a new place.

The zoo that day was very loud and busy causing me to get stressed very quickly especially when I have also got to look after my boys.

Another factor causing me to feel anxious was getting caught up in a crowded area. This can make me feel very claustrophobic causing me to feel like running away and hiding.

The noise levels cause my ears to ring.

I can only cope with so many people touching me. Not in a perverse way you must understand but just the sensation of other people touching my skin by brushing past. It makes my skin crawl and itchy.

Having to deal with my son screaming with tantrums and dealing with paranoia due to not having the skills to read facial expressions correctly. Because I have low self-confidence I feel very negative and worry about what others are thinking of me when they stare at me.

Having to deal with negotiating and calming my son down when I am anxious is something I have to work really hard at. It is very draining for me when I am out that it affects me the next day and I feel dead to the world.

Getting lost and disorientated not knowing where I am in the zoo does not help and makes me panicky.

I find not knowing when the event will end is a struggle for me because it being ambiguous and not having a plan heightens my anxiety.

In the beginning, I enjoyed the animals however I did have a mild meltdown due to the overwhelming. This is a result of all the factors I explained previously adding up and turning into a high anxiety situation. So much so that I could not communicate clearly and needed to leave due to a lack of skills to cope with the situation.

However, when I did calm down and my husband discussed what we could have done to make the situation better.

1) Take diazepam.

2) come back during a weekday and not in half term when it is busy.

3) should have got a map to work out where we are going.

4 Planning more structure with getting a plan online and working out where we are going and incorporating lunch.

5) Include a coffee break so we can have a drink and refresh.

If anyone has any other suggestions please feel to share as we are returning in a couple weeks again as we have a free return ticket.

Cheers for reading X