Friday, 25 November 2016

Wet

Hey readers,

My word of the week is :

WET

This is because this weather we have been experiencing recently has been wet and dame right miserable.

I hate leaving the house when it is bitterly cold but still I have to do the school run, boo. I  look like a drowned rat, I am so cold after getting drenched in the wet.

It has dampened my mood, I feel a bit meh, maybe because it a time of the month to boot.
Right now, I have no motivation, other than to snuggle down in a blanket and close all the blinds and forget about the world.

One thing I do love when it is so grim outside is comfort food. We have a pork joint and I am overly excited about that being cooked in the oven. I can't wait to have gravy and mash. 

To me, that is the ultimate in-home comforts. Well, and fluffy socks is the second winner.

Cheers for reading X

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Battle

I am so tired,
Can someone take it away,
I don't feel like fighting,
This battle inside.

Sunday, 13 November 2016

Light

Hey readers,
 
My word of the week is:
 
 Light
 
This is because I have had a hell of a year emotionally especially impacting on my family big time. I learnt to move on and let things go. I have been judged, tested and challenged but all in all I am still hear. I have made progress with moving forward. I have found hope and my days are starting to look bright. I an now starting to look forward to the future. I still have depression I won't lie but I an getting to grips with managing it. There will still be shit days, but I take things day by day.
I still will have meltdowns but I can control my life a lot better. I didn't know how this year would end but slowly as a family we are moving into a much happier place. I feel I have had a really interesting and reflective week hence devaluation of year. However, talking about the past and has made me feel positive, motivated and determined to be a better person and a mother. Most of all though I feel that I can now finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Cheers for reading X

Friday, 11 November 2016

Fireworks


Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

FIREWORKS



No surprises why, but it was lovely this year to watch the fireworks with the family.  I live on the 16th floor so can stay at home and watch it all from my balcony.  

Last year, there was hardly any for some strange reason. But this year it seemed quite spectacular. It was particularly good now that my youngest is a little bit older to appreciate them.


Both my boys loved the way the fireworks lit up in the sky with all the different colours.  We also had hot dogs and it has turned into a bit of tradition here so it was a great way to end the evening. 

I am so glad that we can see them at our home because how cold was it on Saturday night, blimey the heating was working overtime that night. I have to really motivate myself to leave the home as I much prefer to be at home all warm and snugly.

Cheers for reading X


Friday, 4 November 2016

Running


​Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

RUNNING



Because for the last four weeks I have been running. I have decided to run as a form of exercise. I downloaded the c25k app and it is the best thing I have ever done!


I love running outside in the fresh air, it is free and good to clear your head. I like the fact I am getting fitter and building stamina. I definitely can say I have caught the running bug. If I can do it then anyone can do, lol!

In other news, it is the week the boys return to school and nursery. I love having them at home but by God, it is lovely to have some 'me time' and peace to think for a bit. 


Talking of school, it means the return of so many letters. I have had FIVE letters in the space of four days, seriously why can't we just let kids play like the happy people of Denmark do, tsk! Rant over!

Cheers for reading X 


Friday, 28 October 2016

Wales

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

WALES



Because we have had a lovely few days in Wales seeing the inlaws and making memories away with the kiddos!



We went to the beach, walked around woodlands and saw some waterfalls. Not to mention fish and chips and ice-cream because otherwise, it wouldn't be a holiday 😂 !


I so needed a break though and it has been so refreshing to get away and step back from normal life.



Though tomorrow normal service will resume with doing a ton of washing/drying/putting away. standard mum life really but at least I get to catch up on my programmes and chill in my home again.

Cheers for reading X

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Ftmob - October 

Hey readers,

Hubby shared a chat he had with my eldest early, "I wish mummy didn't have autism. Can't Dr's give her medication to make it go away". How to feel shit in fice seconds. It breaks my heart that I am now getting noticed by my son with being different, I suppose this is the start of things to come.

My eldest asking," why do so many people get cremated it's silly!". 
My DS1 saying, "I wish we could live in Wales forever and never come back". Yep me too son I wish I could totally run away from it all at times :|.

I attempted to make a joke to my DS1 saying I would leave him in the car all by himself. His response was that it is illegal to leave children alone in the car and the police will put you in jail mummy.


As we were driving past the graveyard the other day way DS2 comments, "boo". this is because he thinks the tear ghosts there, 😂 

Cheers for reading X


Friday, 21 October 2016

Knackered

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

KNACKERED

This is because I have been sleeping badly due to my son going through a horrible period waking up several times a night and overtime really dampens everything.

However, we did get to go to the pumpkin farm and have fun picking our own one. We have a massive one, even though cheeky hubby told me it was the same as last years, it was clearly not! Still, the boys are going to have fun carving the pumpkin on Saturday.

We also got a green pumpkin as it is the best one for making pumpkin tart, so hopefully, that is something fun we can do in the half term.
Which as it is half-term coming up looking forward to a break from the constant letters/homework etc that seems to be continuous, jeez it's hardcore now they are at school.

Cheers for reading X

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

ftmob

Hey readers,
Joining in with some clippets of conversation with the boys.
My ds1 joke, "How do you make bacon? By killing a piggy 🐷!" 
"If all children die together becuase of gun shooting in America then they can have a funeral together". My eldest son comment after taking about gin crime originally around police carrying guns. Jeez it is a web of questions how the heck you got here.
"Mummy more Octonauts please", ny you youngest asks me a million times aday. But at least now he is getting.more words in a sentence.
My eldest had a new catchphrase and constantly says to me, "everything going to be alright".
Everytime the internet video is loading my eldest says, ' circle of doom". Which is a phase he learnt of his daddy!
Cheers for reading X


Friday, 7 October 2016

Slow moving

Hey readers,

My word of the week is :

SLOW MOVING


because we have mainly plodded on and have the busy week last week, it feels like a comedown from all the chaos.

My DS1 had a day off on Monday due to teacher training day so was nice to spend time with me and his daddy. We did nothing spectacular, I had to go doctors and get blood done. 

But for him, he was excited to one watch mummy get the flu jab and then if that was not enough I had to get my bloods done as part of a routine check. He loves understanding the way things work out so to watch the needle go in my arm and the blood get sucked up, he was fascinated.

We have also finally started to make
 improvements to our flat but it is slow-moving but each step is positive to complete the work.

Hope you had a good week,

Cheers for reading  X


Thursday, 6 October 2016

Flawed

I'm flawed,
I'm raw,
My eyes are raw
Going through the emotions,
Change is a big deal,
Something that can't be gone.

Sunday, 2 October 2016

embrace it

embrace it
own it,
it's yours,
acknowledge it
don't reject it,
celebrate the flaws,
because it's yours.

Thursday, 29 September 2016

Adventure

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

ADVENTURE
Because we have had some fun with having a picnic and watching the Flying Scotsman and the volcano which was lovely to be in the open air. I also had a playdate so had five kids in my home which for me is a very anxious time. 

This is new territory for me as  I was the one who arranged it even though I was very anxious about it because of my autism. But went well and my son loved playing with his friends so it was worth all the anxieties to see his face.

On Tuesday I started a course for a bit of me-time in the evening all about watercolours and drawing l. It is great to try something new for myself and my wellbeing.  I am not sure if I will be any good at it but it is getting me out there challenging myself.

The rest of the time in between I have been flat out with a cold. It so frustrating as my energy is very low. Hopefully, I will shift it soon as such an unconvinced when I am a mum ;)

Cheers for reading X 

Thursday, 22 September 2016

Darker


​Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

DARKER



This is because it has slowly been getting that bit by bit darker, which I have been enjoying as it is my favourite time of the year.

I have loved cooler evenings, watching more films, reading more, snuggles under the throws and pillows.

Anyway, I shall also mention my eldest who has started to really enjoy reading his books and learning to write his name. He loves reading his book from school to us and his brother. 

There are as no words in the book and he just loves chatting away in great detail about all the things that are happening in the picture.

 As someone who learnt to read and write at the age of 10, I know how important it is and you could say I am a little more encouraging then to help enjoy it.

 Though to be fair to the boy doesn't really need much encouragement at all as he has such much love for learning that I don't have to worry! 

Cheers for reading X 

Starting School

Hey readers,
My eldest starts a new chapter in his life in September. He starts school and here is when it is a turning point, where I worry about what will happen when social pressure rears it's ugly head.
I have already seen the impact of my sons decisions he has made based on the influence of his nursery friends. Small things but noticeable things. Such as he randomly wanting a England football t-shirt because his friend had one. He wanted it right down to the same number on the back of the top. I am fine with him having choice and pleased that he knows what he wants.  But I also know the power of peer pressure and the need we may have to want to fit in. I worry how it will impact on my son. I would love him to have the confidence to be his own person. I would love him not to be swayed by others but sadly we are reaching that point that you lose a tiny bit of your child and now we now simply have to adjust to the ever changing direction of my son's journey through childhood.
It is scary and I do worry whether my son will get bullied or he will bully others. That being said he might not be either of this, which would be brilliant.
You think you know  your child until you have an opportunity to secretly watch them out of sight and you realise that they are slowly becoming their own person. What you think you know of your child can be totally wrong especially in a different environment such as nursery. I have witnessed some behaviour in my son that I would not see in is home environment.
I just hope me and my husband can teach our son that he can be his own person and that if he does not want to do something that he can say no. I want him to know he can always trust myself and his dad and we are always there  to talk if at all he feels anxious or needs advice.
It is awful to let go of being primary carer and allow other people to come along and be my son's life to influence. I can not now at the tender age of five wrap him in cotton wool all the time though I can give hot chocolate and cuddles when needed. Lets face it one day my son won't be a  child, he will grow into his own person where he will have to stand on his own two feet. All I can do is trust and hope that he turns out not too damaged. regardless of whatever path my son takes he knows that he is loved and accepted for who he is.
I suppose it is not just  a turning point in his life but a new chapter for me as a parent when my son slowly grows further in to independence and I am not needed as much as a guidance but just a warm hand of support.
cheers for reading X


Friday, 16 September 2016

Letter to my son about school and things!

​Dearest son,


Right now you are embarking on your newest adventure primary school. Oh boy were you overjoyed at this prospect and love it to the moon and back.

Well, where do I start all them years ago when I was overjoyed to feel you wriggle and jiggle inside of me? I have never felt more alive when I fell pregnant with you. 


I have seen you grow from a little blob to a happy independent little boy who I am so proud to call my son.

Your such a quizzical boy and you want to soak up everything around you. You love learning and finding out why things work the way they do. So I am sure you are going to be OK during school. 

You have so much lust for life and start every day with a spring in your step. Of course, in some cases you are poor but that is a rarity. You are hard work at times but that is only because you are so excited and have so much processing away up in your brain. 

There are times when I think will you ever stop to just enjoy the moment but maybe that is how you get your kicks by exploring.

Over the last year, you have developed a wicked sense of humour and mischievous laugh which I so enjoy. You make mummy laugh (but I know secretly some of it is down to my making shhhh).
You also have a caring side, especially towards your brother. When anyone cries you worry and do your best to make them happy. 

You love babies and every time you pass one you say hello. I am sure you will make friends as you are a ball of energy and such fun.

It has been over a week and already every single day you can not wait to go back. You can't wait to play and get creative. 

I feel this is a big step where you will evolve intellectually and grow more mature. I'm going to embrace the fact you will have fun and be happy.

The only downside is your speech but you are already getting there and it is a challenge we will face together.

I know at times it is frustrating when you don't feel heard or the difficulty of expressing yourself to others.  Never forget though that you will ALWAYS  have the support of mummy and daddy. 

Finally, I just want to say how proud we both are of you. We have watched you, in the beginning, staring at lights all day in the first few months of your life to watching far top many ' how to ' videos on YouTube. 

I love you as your own person and even though it is frustrating when you are so you stubborn it is merely I sign of how determined and motivated you are. I know that you will achieve because you have the drive.

Regardless of what path you take in life, always know that mummy and daddy love you dearly.

Love always Mummy X


Routine

Hey Readers,

My word of the week is:
Image result for routine
This is because my son on Monday started full days at nursery. I have learnt to adapt this week to the changes of times when collecting and dropping off my boy. 

I also have to get the other child in my life goes to nursery
.
As my son eats a main meal at school I have also had to change the meal times which is a bit frustrating when you have to adapt.

 Especially when going out shopping then trying to rush an about in the kitchen like a crazy woman.

In other news my youngest this week he seems to be having the most awful tantrums that can last for like 10-15 mins. It is unusual as he normally doesn't last three minutes usually. Oh boy, do they hurt your ears as they are frequent causing me to be so tired having to deal with the drama? 

When we picked up my eldest he decided to have a fit because I would not get him an ice-cream from the shop. 

So all the way back from the school to the home he whaled and screeched. I hope this is a short period and hope it is linked just from tiredness at the return of going to nursery.

Hope you enjoyed your week.

Cheers for reading X

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Brrrr

Hey Readers,
My word of the week is:
Image result for freezing

because oh my word it is bloody freezing at night and I am terribly British and love to moan about all things weather-related, why the hell not. Though, I am still refusing to turn the heating on until November, unless it is awful then I may be weakened to do it. I am so tight...haha!

But I have enjoyed fluffy socks, cosy pjs and dressing gowns. Cuddling under the throws and not really wanting to leave the home because it is so horribly cold with that eastly wind. I do quite like the feeling of being safe inside whilst looking out of the window at the grey clouds hovering around aimlessly.

I have also enjoyed recently buying a few bits and bobs for Halloween, it is so fun and the boys have loved wearing their Halloween dressing up outfits. My eldest has decided he is called 'Bone Man' as he wears his Halloween outfit with all the bones every night.

 It also glows in the dark so we have had fun running around crazy but at least it has kept them entertained for a little while.

Cheers for reading X

Friday, 2 September 2016

Ftmob - September

Hey readers,
It us that time to record them special moments with your little ones.
Both my boys were playing lovely together on mummy and daddy's bed. U was in the next room and I overheard this conversation. DS1 says to DS2, "you be mummy I be daddy"  you then can hear movement. DS1 announces, "Mummy it's ten o'clock time to get up". I wish I could lay in till ten haha!
After watching Power Rangers DS1 declares to me that, "Mummy if I take your backbone out you will go all wobble like they did in the power rangers".what a lovely thought 💭
DS1 when shocked or surprised he says ever so sweetly, "oh my goodness".
We went to our local museum recently where they were showing an exhibition all about Lego. My DS1 commented, "were at Lego Land". I thought this was cute. i don't mind because it is free and feel guilty because he keeps seeing the ads on TV for Lego Land and he so desperately wants to go. But sadly we can't afford it but coming here today he was overjoyed and contended.
When my DS1 is thinking or sees something slightly different he comments by saying, hang on a minute".
Thanks for reading X

Wednesday, 31 August 2016

compassion

I am here,
With my listening ear,
I know how it feels
The hurt and upset,
I understand,
I want to help,

Even if it is to just listen.

Friday, 19 August 2016

Walking

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

WALKING


This is because the sun has been shining and the boys have mainly requesting to visit the park. I took advance now as we all know that rain will eventually greet us!

I have been forcing myself out when sometimes like to hide away because you know people are scary ;)! 

I digress I have been upping up my walking and pushing myself that little more. We went out as a family for a walk for two-three hours and it has been fun. Where we live locally there is a Plantasia and a maze world. 

There is a cute little farm and we even got to see the little baby chicken which was super cute!

In other news, I don't whether it is a phase or not but my eldest has really been pushing my buttons the past two weeks. he has proper got an attitude and speaking back. 

I struggle to keep calm and not get wound up. So I had a couple of times take myself away as I am learning to with new challenge. Parenting never-ending challenges that we have to deal 
with and adapt, joy!

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X


Friday, 12 August 2016

Preparation

Hey readers,

Well my word of the week is:

Image result for preparation

This is because we have been slowly buying the items of the LONG list of stuff to get my boy for school for  September. 

He got his plimsolls which are needed for P.E. this week and he was super excited when trying them on that I don't think he wanted to take them off. Brings backs so many memories of me wearing the ghastly things at school way back when...

We are umming and arring when to get his school shoes from Clarke's. I know they cost more but we think it is important to get comfy and well-fitted shoes especially being in school for such a long period of time. 

But we don't want to get them too early in case he grows out of them!
We also checked out a new park locally to us this week. It is not a massive park but it is a new one that we have not explored before. I think it is a lovely place, especially as there is a big green space to have picnics.

I must try harder in looking at venturing out and seeing more of what my city has to offer. My son really enjoyed it when we went as I was brave in letting him take his scooter. 

Especially on the bus, as for me makes me feel a bit anxious with space etc. However, it went well so that was all good and it gives me a boost in my self-esteem.

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X



Friday, 5 August 2016

Pokemon

Hey readers,

my word of the week is:

POKEMON


This is because the game has dominated my life at the moment,  ok I enjoy it but my eldest loves it too and it is a great way to bond together too.  
Plus it is such a great way of getting outside and not spending a fortune. 

Now I have learnt about Pokemon stops. I know I am a bit slow but since I have mastered the main idea it is a lot more fun to go out and hunt pokeballs with the boy. 

There is lovely feeling about escaping into virtual relativity, especially as now I am a parent I spend most my time adulting. Therefore, it is great to have time to switch off. It is fun to recreate that excitement I got when I played Sonic as a child on the mega drive!


A highlight of the week is going to visit Burton Dassett Country Park which has stunning views on top of hills looking over Warwickshire and Oxfordshire. It is lovely to be out in the fresh air and just take in the scenery in. Plus it fantastic spot to do a bit of kiting, check the pictures out below.


Cheers for reading X


Friday, 29 July 2016

Burnout

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


it must be the end term thing where I feel absolutely exhausted and overwhelmed. My list of things to do seems to be getting longer and longer. My motivation, on the other hand, seems to have vanished.

 I have a crippling headache (which I am frequent suffer off, it runs in my family) making it even harder to focus on stuff. I also have had the youngest be poorly with vomiting and struggling to cope with any energy. 

So been doing a lot of washing that is constantly needing doing. It just the all the little bits adding up and creating such a big mountain to climb up at the moment.

On a more positive note, I signed my eldest son up to some free swimming lessons for one week only (he normally has swimming lessons once a week anyway). 

He loves it and it is lovely to watch how confident he is getting at swimming. It is funny though as it is in the same pool that I used to swim when I was pregnant with him. 

So that has been the highlight of my week to see him grow.

Hopefully next week I won't sound such a miserable cow, but this is my blog and this is where I will vent. God, I love blogging it is such a great therapy tool.

Hope you have a lovely week,

cheers for reading X


Thursday, 21 July 2016

Summer holidays

Hey readers,


My word of the week is

 SUMMER HOLIDAYS


Well, it's finally here, summer hols! Both my boys broke up from nursery on Tuesday albeit the youngest didn't go in this week as he was poorly. Over the weekend the youngest had a temperature over 41.5 and he kept getting really cold and hot. He was very wingy and tired due to this bug he caught.

Saturday we did go out but he was so bad that I had to come home and get him comfy on the sofa with his quilt whilst watching a marathon of Octonauts. He was motionless on the sofa which is very, very unusual for my DS2. If you ever met him he would be really bouncy and have bucketfuls of energy. Clearly needed the rest on Saturday afternoon.

 He then started developing a rash with red spots. So, we did take him to the out of hours doctors in the evening as we rang up for advice and got told to bring him down to the clinic. The dr said it was some sort of virus and advised us to give him paracetamol and ibuprofen to help with his temperature. Strangely it went down but then on Sunday evening, his temperature spiked again into the forties.

We decided Monday morning to not take him into the nursery as his rash was so bad all over his face, legs and chest. 

We got an appointment with the dr that morning. They confirmed that it was a virus and gave him a prescription for some antibiotics. I am pleased to inform you on Wednesday evening the rash has reduced and so has his temperature. Just in time for the holidays ;)

In other news, boy is it hot. I feel slightly dread of lack of child-free time to get stuff during the summer. I think it is more the anxiety of change. Give it a week I will get into the swing of things. I can't complain having lie-ins and not getting flustered trying to get two children for nursery.

Thanks for reading X

Friday, 15 July 2016

anniversary

​Hey readers,
Well my word of the week is:
Anniversary
This is because at the weekend marked my fifth wedding anniversary of five years. Eek, this might seem a small milestone to a lot of you but for me as an autistic, the odds against the likelihood of me ever getting married. Followed by the statics against getting divorced is high if you are an autistic person. To be honest with you I never imagined getting married or having children and that was reinforced by the "specialists". Which is now know to be utter bollocks! So yeah quite proud even though it has not been plain slaying as I am not the easiest person to live with, we are still going strong as a unit. So today I feel happy about how far I  have come. So Cheers 🍻
To celebrate our anniversary we watched Grimsby and I can confirm it is bloody hilarious if you have immature humour. You will not be disappointed. Nothing beats a good laugh and we don't get to often sit together and watch an adult movie. So it was nice to enjoy it together as a couple.
Hope you have had a great week.
Cheers for reading X


Wednesday, 13 July 2016

ftmob July

1) DS1 loves Danger Mouse on CBBC and said to me, "mummy, I want to got to London to see Danger Mouse. You will find him as he is a mouse that has two legs and he is around danger". That is pretty much spot on.
2) My youngest was sick with a tummy bug and used his sick bucket (clean I like to add) as a game to pour sick over mummy because that is the funniest thing ever to a two year old. He pretend to pick it up and come to me and throw it over the top and announce, "sick" laughing his little head off along with his brother. Kids don't half love the disgusting things especially when mummy over reacts making it even more funny.
3) I was out with the youngest and the eldest was with daddy at home. He was going to go out with daddy to the shops. He was talking to daddy about, daddy said to him, "we need to put the water pistols away as you brother may get hold of them and squirt water on the tv. We don't want him to squirt water as it is dangerous" In response, my son replied, "Daddy I am worried as I don't want him to die as I love him". Which is so melting. We try to teach him that playing with water near electrical is really dangerous  so he is very aware of this now!
4) While my eldest was playing with my hair, I said to him, "Do you want to shave all my hair off?". He replied, "No mummy, I want to make you a princess and style your hair like Elsa". Secretly I would prefer my hair shaved off over being a princess but whatever makes you happy son.
5) Whilst we were having a picnic outside this week my ds2 said to me whilst shuffling a chop into his mouth,  "mummmm, yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm".
Cheers for reading X



Monday, 11 July 2016

FTMOB - 11/07/2016

Hey readers,

Hope you are well and enjoying the last week of academic term. Here I have gathered some chat from the boys, check it out.

  1. My eldest had some few pennies when he went shopping with me yesterday and the plan was to put them in the piggy bank. He asked, "mummy, I need a bank card like you and daddy so I can put my money in the bank". Haha, this made me chuckle as he knows sometimes daddy puts money in his bank so is aware about the system with the card.
  2. After explaining to my eldest the fact the card is only allowed for 16s and over,  he replied, "ok, I will keep the money and go to the shop tomorrow and buy a new toy tomorrow. Such a  cheeky monkey ;)
  3. My youngest loves cake and screams, #lenon tart mummy". I just think it is so cute how young ones can muddle up there words.
  4. A conversation I had with my eldest earlier went like this. "mummy, why is my willy above my testicles and why is my willy not on my head?" Oh yes the joys of getting my son ready for nursery whilst debating the deep questions of the day, lol!
  5. The other day I asked my son as he stood there like a statue pulling a rather strange expression on his face. "What are you doing?". His response goes, "I am getting a smelly toot out". Why how lovely are you my little darling ;)
Cheers for reading X


Friday, 8 July 2016

School

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


This is because my eldest child went for a taster session at his new school that he will start in September. He is beyond excited and can not wait. He is desperate for me to buy the school uniform unlike me who is not so excited to leave a massive hole in my pocket😞.

I don't know if am normal or not but I am not sad about this transaction. It is part of the process nor am I upset that he is not a baby. But I am pleased that he is turning into such a lovely little boy. I am happy as he is and I accept the situation.

 I read a lot about parents getting upset about this big change. I do worry that I am not emotionally attached. But then again I never get upset about the past I just take it in the chin. Maybe because I get more neurotic about things in the future that have not happened. It is just the way I am. God parenting is so tough and constantly doubting yourself.

Still, he is a super excited and can't wait to start big school in September.

Cheers for reading X


Tuesday, 5 July 2016

FTMOB 23/05/2016

Hey readers,
My eldest is proper getting into conversations which has blown me over with laughter recently.
1) We were walking in town recently and walked past a pub where to women were lightening up a cigarette. My DS1 says, ' that women is smoking, she is going to die". Omg don't know whether to laugh or die. He is currently still fixated on death put particularly has an interest in why people smoke even if it kills them. He also now every time he sees a no smoking sign tells me. He then wants to go in great detail aboutit.
2) DS2 is non stop churning words out from his vast vocabulary. Loves sheep, rabbit (his cuddly toy), Alan (his dad) and the list goes on.
3) DS1 wants to talk a lot about Lady Godiva as we have the big statue in town. "why is she died mummy,where is she". My response, "people don't live six hundred odd years and if they did someone would be very rich indeed!".
4) My eldest the other morning said to me, "I want a bicycle, skateboard, cake, remote controlled car and football figures (the ones from Lidl you get free if you spend X amount). Which I can guarantee he has seen all from adverts of the telly. Including the cake seen on Ceebeeies during the birthday announcements.
5) in the lift with a stranger stuck all the way up ten flights my DS1 loudly announces," Mummy that man smells". Cue the embarrassment and I have nowhere to hide!
Cheers for reading X


Thursday, 30 June 2016

Pennies 

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

PENNIES



This is because I have been spending so much money on shite. I want to cut back and monitor the money I spend.

The things that I have tried to adopt this week is to make meals at home on Sunday as before I would do the quick and easy and buy the meal deal from Sainsbury's after swimming because it was easy and I am lazy! I save £6 just by making that change.



Secondly, I  have downloaded two apps  Shopizze and topcashback, brilliant websites to help save money. I have already saved £5 so far this week!
Thirdly I have got a designated notepad just to write down all my outgoings. So over the next couple of weeks, I can see my pitfalls and areas where can adopt new changes.


Hopefully, this will help me feel a bit better around my finances because I seem to be panicking a lot which then entails random impulses because I have given up and felt defeated! We shall see but feeling much more positive about the situation.

Thanks for reading X 


Thursday, 16 June 2016

Hard

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

HARD


This is because I have found it hard with my son obsessing with questions about death. This triggers a lot of anxiety for me. My OCD has been learning its ugly head. It is not surprising as it likes to prey on me when I am venerable and scared.

Still, I have learnt to pay attention to other things in my life that has helped distract me.
I love my photography and getting creative. I didn't realise how much I love texture and shapes. But I can get totally get lost in it when I am free and not got a child hanging off me ;)


This week I have found the love of getting lost in books. Recently I have been trying out the different book but one thing or another I just couldn't get into them. I just find the writing styles so boring or the topic unappealing. 

Finally, I cracked it and just on my second book. It is one of the best things when you can get lost in the book and can't wait to get to bed in the evening and read.

I have completed all the Father's day stuff out For Sunday. It is also my mum's birthday and hubby's in the next seven days. Grrrrr, I really should have planned better but at least it is all sorted now.

One last note what the fuck is the whether about, oh my days. But it was lovely last Sunday to watch the thunderstorms. The boys loved watching the sky light up with the lightening.

Cheers for reading X

Thursday, 9 June 2016

hot

Hey readers,
my word of the week is:
hot
As lovely as the sunshine is I am not the best for hot humid. I like it warm but with a breeze. I have also had a horrid cough and flu causing me to have a fever. It has been hell at night. One minute I am absolutely freezing then I am roasting. Still at least it is better conditions to diet with, haha. I have been loving drinking more and eating fresh salad. However, I know now at the later end of the week it is wet but still hot. I have enjoyed watching the thunderstorms. We are on 16th floor so have spectacular viewing of the sky.
On Thursday I went to my eldest sons first parenting meeting at his school that he will be starting September. We were told what the main routine is and the different forms etc. Also my son was super excited about having a uniform and a water bottle which to him is incredible. He is now super excited to start school.

cheers for reading X




Thursday, 26 May 2016

Warmth

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

Am I the only one who struggles picking a word, so I just pick one that instantly pops into my head. So hence why warmth as currently the sun is shinning and it is a lovely temperature. We have enjoyed a good few days of sunshine which really lifts your mood. Not to mention the speed it takes to reduce the washing load. I know yawn but I can't help it I am a mum and it is socially acceptable now to talk about suck exciting stuff, 😂.
We have had a blast the other day with the boys and playing in the local foundations in our city. It was lovely to just sit back and watch my boys play so nicely and lovely. Their bond seems to be getting stronger and stronger each day.

Cheers for reading X


Thursday, 19 May 2016

quality

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:
quality
This is because my eldest has been off with a bug for a couple days. Therefore I have spend a lot of quality time with him.
Yesterday me and my DS1 went out on a mum and son date to do something fun. Well I know my eldest is desperate to fly a kit so got a mini one for now as the big ones freak me out a bit. I have never done a kite before but thought fot to start someone. So, to see how my son gets on and to help me learn we went to a fairly breezy area a bus trip away. I can confirm it so much fun and both of us had success with flying the kite. I absolutely loved it and so did my son. Surprisingly so relaxing and a fun outdoor activity to do. Not to mention how fit you get. Below is a picture of my son flying the kite 😁
Cheers for reading X


Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Quiet

It's silent,
Peaceful,
No one makes a peek,
The clock carries on,
Tick tock.

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Go with the wind

Sometimes you have to go with the wind,
to learn a lesson,
to grow
and move forward.

Thursday, 5 May 2016

Cold

Hey readers,
My word of the week is

Cold

This weather qt the begining of the week has been poo. I am so cold and feel it on my bones. I have even had to put on the heating a couple of times this week. It doesn't feel like May. Though I won't feel defeated as I did plan a family walk in our local woodlands. I love trees to an obsessional level and I find being round so calming. Maybe because I have found memories of a child if getting lost in the beautiful settings. I want my boys to have similar memories. I want them to feel free and run around. I love it and they love it. I can't believe that this woodlands is situated in university of Warwick. It is absolutely stunning and easy to get to.
On to a different matter we have finally got a table for the first time ever! It makes a huge difference and feel that it is important to have meals with the family socially at the table. Plus it is so much easier to play board games and what not.
Cheers for reading X


Monday, 2 May 2016

FTMOB 02/05/2016

Hey readers,
Happy bank holiday Monday.
Well let's get started with my boys conversations I have had recently.
1) My eldest son is loving informing me that, "girls grow into women.  boys grow up to be men".
2) My DS1 was helping me with self service checkout. He put the money into the machine to pay for the goods. I said to him he can keep the change but what did he want to do with it. He said, " I have 51p I want to put in my piggy bank and go to American to see minions". He is Minions obsessed and now knows from watching the film that minion live in America, haha.
3) My DS1 is currently fixated and asked constantly on body types, "Mummy why don't girls have wellies". Yep it has already started.
4) My DS2 is obsessed with wet wipes and constantly says, "wet wipes please mummy".
5) My DS1 at swimming asked, "why do people where swimming clothes?" We currently teaching him now about privacy etc.
6) My DS1 still on the topic of bodies asked, "why don't men produce milk and have just nibbles. Why do women have boobies".
Cheers for reading X


Monday, 11 April 2016

FTMOB 11/04/2016

Hey readers,
Hope you enjoyed your Easter hols! We have had lots of chat and exploring the environment from the boys.
1) My eldest son has informed me, "Mummys have big boobies so they have milk for babies to feed and go in their tummy". My son is exploring his body at the moment and wondering why he has small nipples and adults have bigger ones, lol.
2) My DS2 has adopted his brother 's obsession of Minions and can spot Minion product a mile off. He loves saying, "Minion, banana".
3) DS1 informed me that, "when he grows into an adult he will be a man. He will go with me to Wales to a pub and he will drink wine". This made me howl!
4) When my DS1 saw some of my waspi tape he commenred and said, "aw, mummy your tape is really pretty".
5) On the train with DS1 which happens to be a cross-country slow train. He observes, "train wibble wobble maybe some of the train has come of the track". Just to clarify no train has come of the track. It is just a very wibbly wobbly train ;)
6) DS1 reminds me, "daddy got poorly knees because daddy has done a lot on his knees. That is why he has poorly knees". It is also because he has arthritis in his knees!
7) When DS2 eats jelly babies he says, "babyyyyyy" then he bites head off very
sinisterly haha!
Cheers for reading X


Friday, 1 April 2016

Easter

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:
Easter

I know cliché but so true! It has been a lovely to have some time off. I feel we all needed a break from doing the nursery run and getting there on time. It has been great to take a slower pace. We have enjoyed seeing the  Easter Bunny on Friday which was a great family day out. In between the random rain showers we have enjoyed trips to the museum (mainly for my appreciation), the park and library. I am blessed that both my boys enjoy reading, I know how important it is. I was 10 when I started to learn to read so really know the benefits on a personal level. They love visiting our  local library with rythme time and the access to the books. I am a big fan of librarys and so hope they remain strong.
On a random note how much mucus can one child create. It is streaming out from both my boys noses. The amount of tissues we are using this week I need shares in Kleenex.
One final note to end with my ds1 is really struggling with the change of increase light due to the recent hour going forward on Sunday. He is now on the assumption that if it is still light we don't go to bed, sod!
Hope your enjoying your Easter break.
Cheers for reading X


Friday, 25 March 2016

Testing

Hey readers,
I would say that my word of the week is:
TESTING

This is because I feel that at times that I have tested myself, pushed outside of my comfort zone. First would be going to a coffee shop by myself and ordering a drink.

 I have had really bad anxiety the past few weeks and regressed with my social anxiety. This has been a positive step forward and though some people may think that this is no biggie for me it is like running the marathon mentally.


I don't know whether it is just my kids or not but by the end of the term they are super tired and need a break. I really struggle to communicate with them when they go full meltdown and I did walk out the home as I just couldn't cope.

 Luckily my husband is also my carer whether that is a good thing or not I don't know. But I needed to escape. It is hard when dealing with children and tiredness at times. So it is nice to have some time along for me to get away from it. It had really helped me for the rest of the week being much more positive and manageable.

Hope you all have a good Easter and don't eat too much chocolate ;)

Cheers for reading X


Friday, 11 March 2016

Mummy

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

mummy

Hope you had a great mothers day. It ws lovely to just be treated to a lay in which was good as had a pants night sleep. My youngest had some sort of bug and was vomiting left, right and centre. Therefore meaning I spend a lot of time cleaning. I was a bit gutted as I had managed to sort out all the washing that day for once. Then on the evening bang three loads of sick. Why does sick linger or is it simply the fact that I am conscious of it and think I can smell it everywhere, I know lovely. Mums life!
I have been out and about experimenting with photos which is great distraction from thinking and I do enjoy getting creative or thinking about other stuff then my OCD and ritulising.
Now at it is the end of the week I feel so sad with grieve. I only found out that someone close to my heart has died. I feel all sorts of emotions. This is a death I have not experienced in my adulthood so the process is a new experience in my life.
Hope you all have a good week.
Thanks for reading X


Monday, 7 March 2016

FTMOB - 07/03/2016

Hey readers,

Here is my favourite bits of chat we have had this week.
1) My youngest on Saturday night had a tummy bug and was vomiting left, fight and centre. After asked him what happened he demonstrated with gagging and opening his mouth and dry pretend puking sound. I just love the way he is getting really good at descriptive communication.
2) Trying to tell my DS1 that toilet roll cost a lot of money he asked, "how much for a toilet roll? I think it cost £16". I sure hope not that is a bloody expensive toilet role.
3) My DS1 says to his nanny, "why do you have red hair and I have brown?" (I should mention here that nanny dyes her hair red). Nanny answered, "do you want red hair?" my son replies, "no! I like brown hair".
4) DS2 has let everyone know that he is there by saying, "and me, and me, and me!" jumping up and down like a manic!
5) DS1 is obsessed with Minions and constantly saying their catchphrases throughout the day. Onr of his favourite saying he repeats constantly, "back away, back away".
6) After my DS1 swimming lesson he told daddy, " daddy, I'm really sleepy, I think I have swam too much today".
That is this week's installment of the boys chat.
Thank yoy for reading X


Thursday, 3 March 2016

FTMOB - 28/03/201

Hey readers,
Hope your enjoying easter hols. Here is the latest installment of chat from the boys.
1. My youngest is using more and more two word sentences. Whilst we were at the park the other day and he was racing around and he asked, "where's Charles?!" searching high and low for his brother.
2. My eldest is using his knowledge skills in teaching his brother words. He is doing this by going through each shape from the shape sorter and telling him the colour. For example, "this is a purple triangle". I just love how my son loves chatting and sharing his knowledge on to his younger brother. Even though he unaware of it.
3. That goes nicely into my next observation of my DS2 who when asked what colour anything is he will reply by saying, "pink". I know that he knows the colours but I swear he just loves saying the word pink for fun, kids eh!
4. My DS1 has a love for all thinks 'poo' related as I have established in previous FTMOB posts. So it is no surprise when I introduced him to a children's book called Poo Bum that for awhile every response was, "poo bum". "are you OK?" He will reply, "poo bum". "What would you like to eat?" again he would say, "poo bum". Kids are funny in their obsessions!
5. The last week before Easter my DS1 has pestered me to search YouTube because, "I want to see where the Easter bunny lives". Really cute!
Cheers for reading X

Friday, 26 February 2016

Return

Hey readers,
Well my word of the week is

Return


Because the children have returned to nursery and normality returns once again. I know this is so cliché but I don't know where the week has gone. It has happened though and that is that.
I won't complain mind as I have been thinning out the boys toys, amazing how much crap they culminate over time. The good thing is that it feels lighter and tider. Psychologically I feel so better for it and OMG we can now see some of the floor, haha!
Sadly the one downside when the  children go to nursery is bang getting a full blown cold and cough. I actually have at night random coughing fits but it is slowly going.
Looking forward to taking the boys to the park at the weekend for a bit of a play and fresh air.
Hope  your having a good week.
Cheers for reading X


Monday, 22 February 2016

FTMOB 22/02/2016

Hey readers,
So here is a  list of quotes from my little darlings. Haven't had much time to sit and write as every time golden nuggets happen something else happens and before I know it I forget (the joys of motherhood).
1) My eldest son said to me yesterday when given bedtime kisses and cuddles, "Mummy your the bestest mummy in the world". Cue melted heart ♥.
2) My youngest son can now say "nanny" and it is lovely when he says it as he has such a lovely sweet smile to it.
3) Over the half term my DS1 has been so morbid recently and constantly asking questions about death. "what happens when you die mummy?" then his minds boggles when he tries to understand cremation and burial. I hope this is just a phase it is a bit depressing to constantly hear about it often.
4) My eldest said to his daddy,  "Daddy you need to lose some weight your tummy is getting big". Honestly had to go into another room and howl.
5) Finally it has happened my DS1 has finally found the dreaded "bored" or "boring". It is already irritating and he is only 4, grrrr!
Cheers for reading X


Friday, 19 February 2016

Cakm

Hey readers,

Hope your enjoying the half term, it so lovely to have a break from the choas and not run around like a headless chicken all the time.

Therefore my word i have chosen to sum up my week is

Cakm

It has been great to have calmness and some unstructured time with the boyd. It hasbeen great to not need to attend appointments and course stuff to do. Also been good to have a well earned rest without having to work my ass off socially.
Though to be honest I always get stressed at the end of the term with change but this happens everrytimr but some how manages to sort it out and then by the end of the week wonder where it has gone.
I have also enjoyed spending quality time with both my boys and on 1-2-1 as well. It was brillant to go out and to galleries and libraries. Not to mention getting out doors and soaking up the different environment. Tis lovely doing something different and getting out of the feeling of groundhog day.
My favourite part of the week is visiting the Dudley zoo as my eldest has been dying to see the different animals. It might have been influenced by my love of watching the funny videos of kids at the zoo on the old YouTube, haha!
We went to Dudley Zoo which is not far from home and was greater with an array of animals and was lovely to the beautiful snow leopards. 

Hope you have had a great week off.
Cheers for reading X



Monday, 1 February 2016

FTMOB - 01/02/2016

Hey readers,
My DS1 is really making me howl with his observations. Also I can report  me and my hubby have noticed how well my DS1 has come on leaps and bounds with his speech. He is getting so much clearer and we don't have to use sign language or try and second guess him. Which is really good as we want him to communicate better particularly for when he starts school in September. We are worried that if the other children can't understand whether in time he will hit out due to frustration.
Anyway here are some recent conversations:

  1. What with the weather beening so bitter particularly in the evening my boys have been wearing their snuggly onesie. One night whilst my son was getting up to go to the toilet he informed daddy, "daddy, the Fireman Sam line keeps going up my bottom'. Now what he means by this is he has a Fireman Sam onesie and there is a line behind on the onsie goes up his bottom when he wrigglings in bed at night. Now we have resolved it where he wears pants to protect his bottom, lol!
  2. My DS1 called daddy. 'Your just like old James Bond'. Haha, we were watching the other day one of the old 60's cheesy James Bond the other day. He is so checky though!
  3. Whilst leaving nursery DS1 was talking to one of his nursery friends. My DS1 said to his friend,"I like your coat, it's blue". Friend replies, "my mum got it but I don't where from". Goes ask mum and returns to DS1, " it's from Matalan so you have to go there and get one OK". Lol
  4. My youngest is infatuated with our cat, follows him and points/squeals, "cattttttttttt". Ever so cute!
  5. My eldest stood up in nursery and recited wheels on the bus excellently all by himself and now goes around home singing,"the wheels on the bus go round and round".
  6. My youngest has now found a way of letting me know that he needs a nappy change. He comes running into me and says, " pooooooooo" pointing to his bottom.
Cheers for reading X