why you should never read a parenting book

Hey readers,

As a parent in the earlier days especially when I was a first-time parent I read parenting books because it was all new and scary.

  I hadn't ever experienced what it was like to be a parent before I turned to information that was available for me.

 Of course, the most places a parent turns to is so-called parenting books who think they are helping you provide this available information to help you understand how to parent.

 But do you know what after 9 years of being a parent I can confirm that parenting books are a waste of time and if you are considering checking out parenting books I would suggest ditch them books? 

Why do I dislike parenting books? well, there are a few reasons. For one there always seems a rigid formula that you have to follow for all children even though let's face it all children are different. 

One box does not fit all and sadly that is one major reason why parenting books fail. Children and parents have different personalities and they may not work well with one formula. 

I think with parenting books there is so much pressure to be a certain type of parent and if you do fail then that then it could potentially impact your mental health negatively. 

It could be more detrimental with reading books because you sink into feeling not good enough, This is not good for a parent when it should be focused on forming a bond.

 If the parent is not fully in the zone because they feel not good enough how much damage will that do to the parenting that they try to do? 

Not only can reading parent books make you feel inadequate that can put on stress to try to be something that you may not reach because you work differently from what the book tells.

 I for one have felt absolutely rubbish when reading parenting books because I can't meet that standard that they try to portray in the words of the book.

 I felt at times feeling of despair and anger at everyone around me because I couldn't reach this ideal parenting model. It impacted my relationship with my husband as I was feeling bitter and angry with the world. 

I as an autistic person struggle with communication so it caused some rifts between my relationships. It then after a period of time affected me and the way I viewed myself as being a bad mother causing me to have suicidal thoughts.  

I think there is so much pressure with parenting books and the number of different types of parenting books can feel really overwhelming.

 Which one is supported to work? Bear in mind that parenting books will be focused on the zeitgeist at the time on what is trendy. For example, one time it was acceptable to follow weaning with purees the next it was all about baby-led weaning.

The problem with both these ideas is they are extreme ends and that middle is best and mixing it up to suit you and your child's needs. Again it chisels at your self-esteem especially if you are a first-time parent you don't have the confidence to go with the flow.

 I think because it is a new experience you're trying your best to succeed out what is right so you become vulnerable to the parenting guides feeling like that the information they give is gossip and if you don't follow it you're a bad parent. 

As you can see there is that pattern that your mental health is fragile and reading parenting books can contribute to worsening it when you need to grow to help give you the confidence to be the best parent that you can be. 

What are your views on parenting books? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

 

50 kid friendly snack ideas for the beach

Hey readers,

As we are getting more warm weather and staycations are still very much popular this year a picnic to the beach makes a perfect family day out.

 Sometimes it can be hard to know what to bring along to a picnic so below I have 50 ideas of a perfect food for kids and adults that would make the day amazing. 

Before I go into the food list I am just going to mention a few things to bear in mind when you go for a picnic at the beach.

Now obviously the changes of it being hot are high and you may have a day out at the beach. It is important to use ice packs to keep your food safe and fresh. It is something to make sure you pack.

Another item to remember when you go to the beach for a picnic is a blanket so as to make it comfy and separates the food away from the sand.

You may want to consider having a picnic box as they are a good size and shape to keep hold of your food.

When you do pack it might be good to back a spare bag for rubbish so you can keep it all together and check it in the bin at the end of the day.

With kids, one of the most important items to remember to take with you if your eating out is wet wipes as they are a godsend to keeping kids clean. There is nothing worse than sticky fingers smearing food everywhere.

Don't forget to pack cutlery and cups as so handy to make eating and drinking a lot easier forever.

Now, let's crack on with the ultimate kid-friendly picnic food for the beach.

1. Bread rolls.

2. Wraps.

3. Carrots/peppers/cucumbers/tomatoes plus hummus.

4. Sausage rolls.

5. Pork pies.

6. Cheese pre-cut cubes.

7. Fruit - strawberries, apples, raspberries, watermelon slices.

8. Breadsticks. 

9. Scotch egg.

10. Coleslaw.

11. Potatoes salad.

12. Crisps.

13. Crackers.

14. Ryvita's. 

15. Cheese strings.

16. Flapjacks.

17. Brownies.

18. Lemon drizzle cake. 

19. Quiche.

20. Chicken Satay.

21. Chicken drum sticks. 

22. Salmon slices. 

23. Salami.

24. Chicken tikka skewers.

25. Tail mix.

26. Nuts.

27. Granola bars. 

28. Boiled eggs. 

29. Samosas.

30. Falafel.

31. Koftas

32. Olives.

33. Shredded chicken. 

34. Prawns.

35. Couscous. 

36. Salad.

37. Corn on the cob.

38. Seafood sticks.

39. Cheese and onion rolls.

40. Feta and spinach parcels.

41. Ham and Edam rolls.

42. Chorizo and gouda rolls.

43. Mozzarella balls and tomatoes.

44. Fruit salad.

45. Hot dogs.

46. Pasta salad.

47. Tortilla chips and salsa.

48. Pitta bread and hummus.

49. Pizza. 

50. Sushi.

Have I missed anything off the list of picnic food that you nothing is a good item to bring along to the beach? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 02/05/2021

My cheeky little monkey 😝 

guilt over every moment.

Hey readers, 

 I have a kind of confession to make and that is when someone says, time goes fast embrace every moment of your child or similar times of things. 

But the whole idea was that I should embrace that moment. Maybe I find it difficult because I am autistic and I take every word literally. I feel stressed or guilty because I don't embrace every moment.

 I might be selfish may be preoccupied. I just feel suffocated with this feeling of trying to encapsulate and treasure every moment.

 This is the side of social media that I found not helpful for parents and truth be told adds more pressure/guilt. It really can drag your mood right down and feel not good enough.

 I bet if I weren't around in the social media time it would be a lot less stressful and less pressure to be perfect and enjoy every moment of my child. 

 The thing is life gets in the way, and sometimes I really can't wait for my kids to go to bed, does this make me a bad mother? Of course, I love my children dearly but life isn't always peachy.

 I just get so bogged down with the guilt about not enjoying every moment or not fully occupying my time with my child. 

But when I reflect I don't miss it. I don't miss the times I had. There are fun times, sad times, anxious times. 

It is an experience and something I am glad that I have experienced but would I seriously want to encapsulate that if I had the magic powers to make time stop? 

Honestly no I wouldn't. I am trying to let go of the guilt, I make mistakes and coming to terms with that and accept I am only human. 

I can't stop time or my children growing up that is just the nature of the beast. I do weirdly actually like seeing the change and growth in my child's development. 

Seeing them grow and become their own person in their own right. 

 Motherhood is tiring and challenging and all the other emotions are attached to it. 

I am trying not to be hard on myself and just take each day as it comes. 

As long as my children are happy, healthy, and achieving the best they can that is the goal for me. I need to accept my best is enough. 

 Cheers for reading X

reasons to love summer!

Hey readers,

It won't be long now till summertime so let's get celebrating this hot season. Here are my reasons why I love summer.

Washing.

As a parent, nothing excites me more than to put out the washing on the line, to have that fresh feel when you bring it down. 

Nothing gets me more excited than getting four loads of washing washed, hung, got down, and put away in a day - that my friends are some achievement. 

 Not to mention the buzz you get of feeling all domesticated and winning at life.

Al Fresco.

Eating outdoors is ace when you have children because you can leave all the crumbs behind and don't have to hoover. 

It is fresh air and being around nature is no better place to be when eating. I found having picnics less stressful than eating at home, maybe kids too and they seem much more relaxed with this option to the alternative eating at a table.

Outdoors.

With the above point about picnics, this can be incorporated with going outside, as I have young children it tends to be the park, which that it was my children every really wants to be honest. 

They can burn off steam while I can get a moment to read some of my books, it is a winner and everyone is happy. 

It is also a cheap day out, the kids get sleepy and everyone is happy to come home and chill out. Going outside mess less bickering and the boys get on better without each other wanting to pull each other hair out.

Schools out.

During the summer period of late July and August, the boys have broken up from school and nursery.

It feels much more relaxed because there is an unstructured schedule but that sense of urgency to do homework or get out of the door early in the morning. 

It allows my eldest to be a bit calm as he hasn't got the added anxiety of spelling tests (this might not affect every child, however, my eldest is autistic and performance activities affect him greatly).

 If we have a day out somewhere on a Sunday or during the week we can take our time without having the thoughts in the back of the mind that we need to get home so the boys don't get tired the next day for school.

Holiday away from home.

Of course, holidays tend now to occur during the summer holiday as it is the best time to break up the six weeks of summer holidays. 

Getting away from it all, exploring new surroundings, and taking trips to the beach all makeup create memories for the family.

Food.

Summer normally means warmer weather, therefore the choices swing to lighter meals and anything that is cool to help get through the heat.

 I spend a fair amount of money stocking up on the ice creams and lollies, of course, a magnum or tip top are signs that summer has officially arrived.

What do you enjoy about summer?

Cheers for reading X

quirky kitchen gadgets that are useful.

Hey readers,

I will confess I love something novelty but even better when it actually really does a good job at doing the job, result. Here are some ideas that have been proven to be fun and work amazingly well as well. 

1. Warming butter knife - Trouva.

Is this warming butter knife the dream, there is nothing more frustrated than trying to cut butter from the fridge and it is rock hard. The knife is self-heated with a heated edge designed to curl up and soften cold butter. 

2. An egg timer - Car & Kitchen.

I actually have an egg timer and it is a useful item to have in the kitchen. Basically, the idea is you put the egg timer in the water with the eggs and you cook your egg according to how you like your eggs.

 The egg timer has three markers soft, medium, and hard and you wait until the egg timer changed from its original colour to white when it hits the marker you take the eggs of the pan. I can confirm it works a treat!

3. Claw-shaped meat shredder - Shein.

.

This is a fab accessory, the shredders fit into the hand making it study to shred your meat, useful especially during the summer if you are having a bbq. 

3. Jumbo cutlery drainer - Red Candy.

This is a funky little holder called the jumbo cutlery drainer. Not only could you hold your cutlery but you could also use it to hold your toothbrush and toothpaste in the bathroom. I like the fun design to add character to make you smile. 

4. Vegetable spiraliser - Amazon.

To add quirkiness to your dinner you need a veggie spiraliser, the hand one is good because it is less faff. You can make carrot or courgette noodles, for example, it is a healthier alternative. It is also small and easy to store don't need to use any electric power and can all be done by hand. 

 5. Prawn shell remover- Shein.

This is a nifty little gadget where you can de-shell your prawn in on go. It is so easy, convenient, and saves a lot of time. 

6. Never soggy cereal bowl - Obol.

This is such a brilliant idea if you hate getting your cereal soggy this bowl is a must. It is designed so that the cereal is separate from the milk. Then you can take your time and still enjoy your cereal firm with the sogginess that you get quite quickly with cereal. 

7. Corn on the cob stripper - Amazon.

.

This is a practical solution to stripping the corn off the cob in one great big pull. Makes life so much easier if you want to lose corn fast. 

8. Multi-purpose kitchen shears - Kitchen Knives.

I love using kitchen scissors and one of the most overused items in my kitchen if I am honest. The above pair not only scissors but in the middle have a nut opener and a at the bottom end of the scissors has a bottle top opener, perfect pair there. 

What do you think about the items on the list? Are there any that you have already? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 25/04/2021