7 ways to be happy everyday.

Hey readers,

Sometimes we can forget to find the joy in the simplest of things and life can drag us down.

 But we can do something about that and gain some control back. I have got seven ways that aren't difficult to help find happiness in ordinary stuff. I hope you find this helpful.

1. Time out.

Take the time out of your day to do something that you love doing, whether it be listening to music, reading whatever it is do it make some time to do it! Even if it is just for ten minutes a day it will be worth it in the long term for your wellbeing because you are doing something for you and giving you some time for self-care.

2. Write it down.

 A good habit to take up is to write down something that you are thankful for each day. It doesn't have too big it could be as simple as hearing the birds. This is a way to train your brain to look at the positives in your life and appreciate the small things in life that you have access too. 

3. Outdoors.

Take yourself outside and connect with nature. Go for a walk and just be, take time to notice the environment that you are, look at the different flowers or trees, look up at the sky because we live in a beautiful world and it has a lot to offer.

4. Laugh.

As the saying goes laughter is the best medicine. Laughing produces chemicals in the brain to make you feel good naturally and laughing is also brilliant at offering healing properties as well.

5. Time out.

Take some time out of your day to be mindful and present. All you need to do is it and be and just stop with the business of the world.

 The world goes by so fast that you may miss out and just sitting and slowing down can really be beneficial to your health.

6. Kindness.

Do something for someone else and spread happiness on. Some suggestions are making a hot drink, taking time to listen to the person and what they are saying.

7. Positives.

Write down your feelings and work out how you can help reduce the negative and increase the positive. This allows you to understand and think about how you feel. 

It also gives you some control because you're acting on how your feeling and finding solutions to some problems if you can. 

Have I missed any techniques to help make you feel happy every day? What do you do that helps you find happiness? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 07/06/2020

Little Miss Muffet (A Paraody).

Little Miss Muffet went off in a fuffet,

Swearing and huffing the day away,

Along came a numpty,

Who tried to woe her,

Only to get slapped away.

Mad Girl by Bryony Gordon (book review).

Hey readers,

I love a book that you can lose yourself totally in and can't wait for every opportunity to sit and flick through the pages. 

This book did just that. It is a biography of Bryony Gordon who is a journalist for several years. She writes openly and honestly about her first-hand experience of living with OCD and clinical depression.

As a suffer from both clinical depression and OCD I felt I could really identify with how Bryony expressed her experiences clearly, how out of nowhere something triggered causing the panic and obsession. Almost like someone flicking on a switch.

I feel that this is an honest reflection of OCD. It is also not your typical cleaning OCD but a main focus on the thoughts and how they influence behaviour.

As a mother, I also found the area about motherhood particularly around pregnancy interesting and relatable. 

Especially when it is your first-time pregnancy can be very stressful. The early period of motherhood made me feel very paranoid especially with the debate about whether or not you should or should not take anti-depressants and the effect that it will have on your newborn.

I think it is an interesting observation mentioned in the book about the fact that Bryony comes from a middle-class family that was fairly stable with not a lot of trigger to cause mental illness. It goes to show that money can't pay for everything and that mental health affects all walks of life.  

The only good thinks about being wealthy is getting better care privately. The reason Bryony and her mum chose private over NHS is shockingly poor and a long waiting list to boot. 

Though she chats openly that it doesn't matter as you still have to work hard to get a good therapist that understands you to help with your recovery.

It is a brilliant account of how OCD can feed off you when you are mentally low such as being in an abusive relationship can trigger OCD behaviour.

Even if you don't suffer from OCD it is a fantastic way to help you understand better about the condition and help increase awareness for mental illness. Also how hard it is to find the right help and that if the Doctors dealt with it sooner then it would possibly be not as bad as the thoughts are not been long lasted for years as a way to cope with life stresses.

The best advice  Bryony concludes is cutting back on alcohol/exercise/eating healthy and just making sure that every area of your life is catered for can help reduce the OCD.

Bryony also reflects on her experience of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and the power of thought. 

 How CBT  worked for her and now accepts that slips happen, OCD thoughts will always be there but accepting them as just that but not taking them as the gospel is the biggest progress to live a better more fulfilled life.

A powerful message is that mental illness is not on the same level of importance of physical health. If you had a broken leg you would get it plastered. But mental health is still a taboo that is not talked about and at times shamed upon with stigma or being blasé with comments about being a bit OCD with putting clothing straight. 

It is much more than complex and intrusive than simply having things in a certain way.

Bryony set up a group called mental health mates where strangers meet up in London to walk and talk about mental illness.

There is no demand to change just a place to not feel so alone and isolated. I think it is a brilliant idea and I wish there were more groups around in the UK.

In my personal opinion, I think this is one of the best books I have read of a first account of living with OCD. It is not pretentious or glamorised,  just trying to get the message out that whatever background shit happens. 

It is great to help get the message about what it is really like to live with OCD. I definitely recommend it.

Cheers for reading X

Mummy will you play with me?

Hey readers, 

Them words.... "mummy, will you play with me?" I dread.

I. HATE. PLAY.

Specifically, imaginary play, the thought of it gives me the shudders. Even after 8 years of being a mother, I hate it. I get so on edge thinking will my child ask me. 

Now I suppose one the struggles is I am not good at thinking outside of the box as it were. I am autistic and just coming up with random ideas is a big bloody struggle truth be told. 

I don't enjoy this type of play. I think the worst bit of it all is the guilt that I have created myself inside my own head that I must be good at imaginary play if I want to be a good mother. 

I know it sounds ridiculous but when you have been observed in playing with your children from professionals you get a bit paranoid. 

Now I am good at constructive play such as colouring in, writing on windows with window pens, reading books etc. 

My kids can come to me and talk to me about anything and I will listen and answer, no problems there. 

I just can't deal with doing things without order or structure and this falls back to being autistic. I walked out once a couple of times when I have been to live performances when they are improvising. 

The thought of being on the spot and having to come up with something is really tricky. It's like my mind goes blank the moment I am under pressure, I just can not think of what to do or say at that moment.

So coming back to play I am trying to be accepting of what I can and can not do. Opening up on this platform makes me feel scared of the judgement I guess but I am going to tell my husband as well.

 I'm scared of being open and saying look I struggle, I don't like it and it fills me with dread. There are some days when I am so anxious about it I will stay up so I am too tired the next day to feel anything. 

I think I am more conscious of my own behaviour due to the intensity of staying at home more. It is tough, really tough. I know I am not alone but it is almost a taboo topic saying you hate the imaginary play. 

I think if I was to accept it more it would relax me better and have a better time. 

I know my boys are looked after and are fine. It is just dealing with the intrusive thoughts in my mind. 

Let's focus a little bit of the positives about not playing imaginary play and letting my little darlings be free to play. 

It teaches them to be independent which isn't a bad thing, it means there more creative when they are bored because they are looking for ways to entertain themselves. 

So in the grand schemes of things not that bad really. Just need to be kinder to myself because we are different and we can't all be good at everything right?

Cheers for reading X 

Time

Hey readers,

my word of the week is:

TIME

What I mean to say about this is lack of time due to the fact that it is half term. As lovely as half term is it leaves me lacking time. I feel like I don't have enough of it this week and feel a bit tired. It is exhausting work trying to entertain children whilst trying desperately holding on to your sanity.

I attempt to do a fun activity such as playing with Plasticine, a nice little relaxing activity for my boys. Don't be silly, I have never been so God dame frustrated in my life. I have to supervise to make sure everyone has got an equal amount, the same colours and sit in the middle making sure that it does not kick-off. 

I don't need to say anymore then my patience can run very thin.

This has what most of it has been like, seriously sometimes I question why I bother. Sometimes, it is much to turn the telly on and deal with the crippling guilt of being the 'slummy mummy'.

Roll on Monday where I can breathe and enjoy the silence without thinking that boys are next door planning on taking over the world.

Cheers for reading X

8 ways to help your child sleep during a heatwave

Hey readers,

We are in the midst of a heatwave and it so hot in the evenings. It can be a real struggle for kids to settle and get to sleep. 

There is nothing worse than a miserable child that has not had a good night sleep. There are ways to help cool your child and make it a more of a breeze to settle them for the night.

Below I have come up with some suggestions to help keep kids cool and to sleep at night during a heatwave.

1. Clothing. 

Get rid of all the layers and just have pants or nappies - whatever is appropriate for the age of the child.

2. Bedding. 

Make sure you use the right bedding - either a light tog quilt or what I do with my boys simply uses a thin sheet. They enjoy the comfort but the sheet won't be heavy to make them, even more, hot then they need to be.

3. Bath.

Giving a cold lukewarm shower or bath before bed can help reduce temperature but it is important to make the time in the shower or bath quick because you don't want them to get too cold. I have found that covering your child in talc is a good way to keep the child cool.

4. Blinds. 

I find blackout blinds brilliant at keeping the light out as we are now getting dark nights a lot later. 

With having the windows open before bedtime can keep the room cool and if you can keeping them open during the night helps keep the temperature low. 

5. Fan.

Also, if your child is not distracted by the noise then it might be worth considering a fan to add that extra coolness in the room. 

During the day you can also keep the whole of your home ventilated by having doors and windows open to keep the air following and making the rooms cool. 

Another trick to keep rooms cool is to have the curtains pulled two thirds away to keep that sun from making the room boiling hot.

6. Thermometer. 

If you are like me having a temperature thermometer that accurately measures the room temperature is useful as it gives me that peace of mind to know I can get the room right.

7. Drink. 

Before putting your child to bed a good suggestion is swapping the usual hot milky drink that they have before bed and swapping it for a cold milk drink. 

This way then they will help keep your child's body temperature cool. In addition, you could consider putting the bottle or cup into the fridge to keep it at a cool temperature.

8. Chillout. 

It is important to keep the child calm before bed because if they get too excitable that can also increase the child's temperature.

 Making sure you do activities that are calming for the child such as watching a relaxing tv show, having some quiet time and reading a book can all help keep things calm and settled.

What things help you keep your child cool during the night of a heatwave? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Thank you for reading. X