slow

Hey readers,
My word of the week is slow.

 This heat is making me go sloooooow but been enjoying my relaxed state of mood. I have just been really happy sitting on the balcony catching sone rays whilst the boys argue over who's turn it is to go on the scooter, teehee. And generally not having lot of energy to much other then lick a couple!e of twisters!
This sunshine has made me walk that little bit slower and just take in the moment around me and even though I live in the city of concrete I am surrounded by beauty, yes I did say that. It is good to not be a hurry from to time and just be one with ambience which has been much more chilled amoungst the hustle and hustle of city life!
I havs also enjoyed the cooler evenings as I get to spend time with my hubby and try to use the internet less and not get stuck in a cycle. I will reduce that now as I have just got my new phone in in the post, whoop. Meaning I can spread my useage out during the day and not so much rushing around in the evening.

Beauty is everywhere all you have to  look....

 

Thank you for reading X

Busy

Hey readers,

 

 So thinking of a word that sums up my week it would be busy.

Got a couple meetings and though they are only an hour or two coubbled with dealing with dropping off and collecting toddlers (both go to nursery but a different times and different nursery's) it soon eats away at your time. It does not help that it is my hubbys and mum's birthday along with the in-laws coming from Wales which will be lovely for the boys. But sometimes it can all feel a bit raggh and hopefully wishing for more hours in the day. On boy do I sound old and a cliché!

With being a parent I sometimes think it is so hard to get a balance with stuff going on and managing time. At times for me it is uber busy and I don't have a minute to myself and then on the other end of the scale I am suffering from cabin fever (tends to normally occur when it is raining, FFS!) and desperately want to go out somewhere.

At least on the positive side we are creating memories and I am not all the time having to be the 24-7 entertainer so that kinda gives me a break. Anyhow, I digress but primarily I hope there is some sunshine as I am most looking forward to cake. Did I mention that I suggested the idea on the impulse to make the cake and the fact that I am s**t at cooking, well not rubbish just not very good with measurements and instructions. Lol

Hope you have a lovely week and thank you for reading X

Pain

Hey readers,

 

Well the word I thought was best fitting for me to write about this week is pain. I know it is associated with negative images/meanings but I try thing my self as honest and this week has been a big struggle as I have had a throat infection and been in so much pain.

I won't lie I love  moan within reason and thing out is good to let out your feelings and can really be helpful when an illness makes you feel like hojhr4not so energetic self.

My throat has made me feel in so much paint6that it has been hard to motivate myself to do a lot and the main thing I struggle with is cooking. I'm not a massive fan of cooking when it something that I have to do so it was a real tester to get my act together and cook. Urgh! Pain!

Now I know this is a Wingy post (I haven't got time to wings anywhere else what with two active tots) so I am going write it here. I'm in bloddy pain and I feel I am haulsknbating about my bed and sleep, oh the thought!

OK back to reality, yes my throat has caused a lot I'd pain and really brought me to tears but also in an perverse sort of way it has slowed me down which is a positive. As my mind is very, very, very, very active and the sort of person to sit down for 5 so though I have had pasin it has also given me time to recharge my batteries. It has also stopped or not focused ass much my OCD thoughts (suffer with odd for years) and it has been bad recently it has helped me reflect and think about sim;me things. Not just that but stopping my casthropic and ritualistic habits gave really helped reduce my anxiety. So, there is pro's and con's with everything and you just got to taskje what you can from thee sitiasdyion.

So there you have it. Enjoy your week X

Autumn

The times are changing,

Everything is moving,

The temperature dips,

Whilst colours evolve.

The craving for home

Is a strong game,

To the shut the door,

Hideaway,

Safe from any danger.

heart ache

My heart aches,

I wish I could stop the anger,

The confusion,

I can handle my own disability,

But now my child has it,

I feel angry at myself,

Giving the guilty genes,

Making him feel anxious,

Knowing soon there will be,

A time when he knows,

Others see him differently

And slowly hate himself.

I'm wide awake.

I'm wide awake now,

Looking back over

What happened.

What is the meaning,

Is there more to this

And how do you accept

The fate that lies.

who am I?

Who am I?

I don't know who I am anymore,

I have lost sight,

Of the person who I once was.