Running

​Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

RUNNING

Because for the last four weeks I have been running. I have decided to run as a form of exercise. I downloaded the c25k app and it is the best thing I have ever done!

I love running outside in the fresh air, it is free and good to clear your head. I like the fact I am getting fitter and building stamina. I definitely can say I have caught the running bug. If I can do it then anyone can do, lol!

In other news, it is the week the boys return to school and nursery. I love having them at home but by God, it is lovely to have some 'me time' and peace to think for a bit. 

Talking of school, it means the return of so many letters. I have had FIVE letters in the space of four days, seriously why can't we just let kids play like the happy people of Denmark do, tsk! Rant over!

Cheers for reading X 

Wales

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

WALES

Because we have had a lovely few days in Wales seeing the inlaws and making memories away with the kiddos!

We went to the beach, walked around woodlands and saw some waterfalls. Not to mention fish and chips and ice-cream because otherwise, it wouldn't be a holiday 😂 !

I so needed a break though and it has been so refreshing to get away and step back from normal life.

Though tomorrow normal service will resume with doing a ton of washing/drying/putting away. standard mum life really but at least I get to catch up on my programmes and chill in my home again.

Cheers for reading X

Knackered

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

KNACKERED

This is because I have been sleeping badly due to my son going through a horrible period waking up several times a night and overtime really dampens everything.

However, we did get to go to the pumpkin farm and have fun picking our own one. We have a massive one, even though cheeky hubby told me it was the same as last years, it was clearly not! Still, the boys are going to have fun carving the pumpkin on Saturday.

We also got a green pumpkin as it is the best one for making pumpkin tart, so hopefully, that is something fun we can do in the half term.

Which as it is half-term coming up looking forward to a break from the constant letters/homework etc that seems to be continuous, jeez it's hardcore now they are at school.

Cheers for reading X

Flawed

I'm flawed,

I'm raw,

My eyes are raw

Going through the emotions,

Change is a big deal,

Something that can't be gone.

embrace it

embrace it

own it,

it's yours,

acknowledge it

don't reject it,

celebrate the flaws,

because it's yours.

Adventure

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

ADVENTURE

Because we have had some fun with having a picnic and watching the Flying Scotsman and the volcano which was lovely to be in the open air. I also had a playdate so had five kids in my home which for me is a very anxious time. 

This is new territory for me as  I was the one who arranged it even though I was very anxious about it because of my autism. But went well and my son loved playing with his friends so it was worth all the anxieties to see his face.

On Tuesday I started a course for a bit of me-time in the evening all about watercolours and drawing l. It is great to try something new for myself and my wellbeing.  I am not sure if I will be any good at it but it is getting me out there challenging myself.

The rest of the time in between I have been flat out with a cold. It so frustrating as my energy is very low. Hopefully, I will shift it soon as such an unconvinced when I am a mum ;)

Cheers for reading X 

Darker

​Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

DARKER

This is because it has slowly been getting that bit by bit darker, which I have been enjoying as it is my favourite time of the year.

I have loved cooler evenings, watching more films, reading more, snuggles under the throws and pillows.

Anyway, I shall also mention my eldest who has started to really enjoy reading his books and learning to write his name. He loves reading his book from school to us and his brother. 

There are as no words in the book and he just loves chatting away in great detail about all the things that are happening in the picture.

 As someone who learnt to read and write at the age of 10, I know how important it is and you could say I am a little more encouraging then to help enjoy it.

 Though to be fair to the boy doesn't really need much encouragement at all as he has such much love for learning that I don't have to worry! 

Cheers for reading X 

Starting School

Hey readers,
My eldest starts a new chapter in his life in September. He starts school and here is when it is a turning point, where I worry about what will happen when social pressure rears it's ugly head.
I have already seen the impact of my sons decisions he has made based on the influence of his nursery friends. Small things but noticeable things. Such as he randomly wanting a England football t-shirt because his friend had one. He wanted it right down to the same number on the back of the top. I am fine with him having choice and pleased that he knows what he wants.  But I also know the power of peer pressure and the need we may have to want to fit in. I worry how it will impact on my son. I would love him to have the confidence to be his own person. I would love him not to be swayed by others but sadly we are reaching that point that you lose a tiny bit of your child and now we now simply have to adjust to the ever changing direction of my son's journey through childhood.
It is scary and I do worry whether my son will get bullied or he will bully others. That being said he might not be either of this, which would be brilliant.
You think you know  your child until you have an opportunity to secretly watch them out of sight and you realise that they are slowly becoming their own person. What you think you know of your child can be totally wrong especially in a different environment such as nursery. I have witnessed some behaviour in my son that I would not see in is home environment.
I just hope me and my husband can teach our son that he can be his own person and that if he does not want to do something that he can say no. I want him to know he can always trust myself and his dad and we are always there  to talk if at all he feels anxious or needs advice.
It is awful to let go of being primary carer and allow other people to come along and be my son's life to influence. I can not now at the tender age of five wrap him in cotton wool all the time though I can give hot chocolate and cuddles when needed. Lets face it one day my son won't be a  child, he will grow into his own person where he will have to stand on his own two feet. All I can do is trust and hope that he turns out not too damaged. regardless of whatever path my son takes he knows that he is loved and accepted for who he is.
I suppose it is not just  a turning point in his life but a new chapter for me as a parent when my son slowly grows further in to independence and I am not needed as much as a guidance but just a warm hand of support.
cheers for reading X

Routine

Hey Readers,

My word of the week is:

This is because my son on Monday started full days at nursery. I have learnt to adapt this week to the changes of times when collecting and dropping off my boy. 

I also have to get the other child in my life goes to nursery

.

As my son eats a main meal at school I have also had to change the meal times which is a bit frustrating when you have to adapt.

 Especially when going out shopping then trying to rush an about in the kitchen like a crazy woman.

In other news my youngest this week he seems to be having the most awful tantrums that can last for like 10-15 mins. It is unusual as he normally doesn't last three minutes usually. Oh boy, do they hurt your ears as they are frequent causing me to be so tired having to deal with the drama? 

When we picked up my eldest he decided to have a fit because I would not get him an ice-cream from the shop. 

So all the way back from the school to the home he whaled and screeched. I hope this is a short period and hope it is linked just from tiredness at the return of going to nursery.

Hope you enjoyed your week.

Cheers for reading X

Brrrr

Hey Readers,

My word of the week is:

because oh my word it is bloody freezing at night and I am terribly British and love to moan about all things weather-related, why the hell not. Though, I am still refusing to turn the heating on until November, unless it is awful then I may be weakened to do it. I am so tight...haha!

But I have enjoyed fluffy socks, cosy pjs and dressing gowns. Cuddling under the throws and not really wanting to leave the home because it is so horribly cold with that eastly wind. I do quite like the feeling of being safe inside whilst looking out of the window at the grey clouds hovering around aimlessly.

I have also enjoyed recently buying a few bits and bobs for Halloween, it is so fun and the boys have loved wearing their Halloween dressing up outfits. My eldest has decided he is called 'Bone Man' as he wears his Halloween outfit with all the bones every night.

 It also glows in the dark so we have had fun running around crazy but at least it has kept them entertained for a little while.

Cheers for reading X

compassion

I am here,

With my listening ear,

I know how it feels

The hurt and upset,

I understand,

I want to help,

Even if it is to just listen.

Walking

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

WALKING

This is because the sun has been shining and the boys have mainly requesting to visit the park. I took advance now as we all know that rain will eventually greet us!

I have been forcing myself out when sometimes like to hide away because you know people are scary ;)! 

I digress I have been upping up my walking and pushing myself that little more. We went out as a family for a walk for two-three hours and it has been fun. Where we live locally there is a Plantasia and a maze world. 

There is a cute little farm and we even got to see the little baby chicken which was super cute!

In other news, I don't whether it is a phase or not but my eldest has really been pushing my buttons the past two weeks. he has proper got an attitude and speaking back. 

I struggle to keep calm and not get wound up. So I had a couple of times take myself away as I am learning to with new challenge. Parenting never-ending challenges that we have to deal 

with and adapt, joy!

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Preparation

Hey readers,

Well my word of the week is:

This is because we have been slowly buying the items of the LONG list of stuff to get my boy for school for  September. 

He got his plimsolls which are needed for P.E. this week and he was super excited when trying them on that I don't think he wanted to take them off. Brings backs so many memories of me wearing the ghastly things at school way back when...

We are umming and arring when to get his school shoes from Clarke's. I know they cost more but we think it is important to get comfy and well-fitted shoes especially being in school for such a long period of time. 

But we don't want to get them too early in case he grows out of them!

We also checked out a new park locally to us this week. It is not a massive park but it is a new one that we have not explored before. I think it is a lovely place, especially as there is a big green space to have picnics.

I must try harder in looking at venturing out and seeing more of what my city has to offer. My son really enjoyed it when we went as I was brave in letting him take his scooter. 

Especially on the bus, as for me makes me feel a bit anxious with space etc. However, it went well so that was all good and it gives me a boost in my self-esteem.

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Pokemon

Hey readers,

my word of the week is:

POKEMON

This is because the game has dominated my life at the moment,  ok I enjoy it but my eldest loves it too and it is a great way to bond together too.  

Plus it is such a great way of getting outside and not spending a fortune. 

Now I have learnt about Pokemon stops. I know I am a bit slow but since I have mastered the main idea it is a lot more fun to go out and hunt pokeballs with the boy. 

There is lovely feeling about escaping into virtual relativity, especially as now I am a parent I spend most my time adulting. Therefore, it is great to have time to switch off. It is fun to recreate that excitement I got when I played Sonic as a child on the mega drive!

A highlight of the week is going to visit Burton Dassett Country Park which has stunning views on top of hills looking over Warwickshire and Oxfordshire. It is lovely to be out in the fresh air and just take in the scenery in. Plus it fantastic spot to do a bit of kiting, check the pictures out below.

Cheers for reading X

Burnout

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

it must be the end term thing where I feel absolutely exhausted and overwhelmed. My list of things to do seems to be getting longer and longer. My motivation, on the other hand, seems to have vanished.

 I have a crippling headache (which I am frequent suffer off, it runs in my family) making it even harder to focus on stuff. I also have had the youngest be poorly with vomiting and struggling to cope with any energy. 

So been doing a lot of washing that is constantly needing doing. It just the all the little bits adding up and creating such a big mountain to climb up at the moment.

On a more positive note, I signed my eldest son up to some free swimming lessons for one week only (he normally has swimming lessons once a week anyway). 

He loves it and it is lovely to watch how confident he is getting at swimming. It is funny though as it is in the same pool that I used to swim when I was pregnant with him. 

So that has been the highlight of my week to see him grow.

Hopefully next week I won't sound such a miserable cow, but this is my blog and this is where I will vent. God, I love blogging it is such a great therapy tool.

Hope you have a lovely week,

cheers for reading X

Summer holidays

Hey readers,

My word of the week is

 SUMMER HOLIDAYS

Well, it's finally here, summer hols! Both my boys broke up from nursery on Tuesday albeit the youngest didn't go in this week as he was poorly. Over the weekend the youngest had a temperature over 41.5 and he kept getting really cold and hot. He was very wingy and tired due to this bug he caught.

Saturday we did go out but he was so bad that I had to come home and get him comfy on the sofa with his quilt whilst watching a marathon of Octonauts. He was motionless on the sofa which is very, very unusual for my DS2. If you ever met him he would be really bouncy and have bucketfuls of energy. Clearly needed the rest on Saturday afternoon.

 He then started developing a rash with red spots. So, we did take him to the out of hours doctors in the evening as we rang up for advice and got told to bring him down to the clinic. The dr said it was some sort of virus and advised us to give him paracetamol and ibuprofen to help with his temperature. Strangely it went down but then on Sunday evening, his temperature spiked again into the forties.

We decided Monday morning to not take him into the nursery as his rash was so bad all over his face, legs and chest. 

We got an appointment with the dr that morning. They confirmed that it was a virus and gave him a prescription for some antibiotics. I am pleased to inform you on Wednesday evening the rash has reduced and so has his temperature. Just in time for the holidays ;)

In other news, boy is it hot. I feel slightly dread of lack of child-free time to get stuff during the summer. I think it is more the anxiety of change. Give it a week I will get into the swing of things. I can't complain having lie-ins and not getting flustered trying to get two children for nursery.

Thanks for reading X

anniversary

​Hey readers,
Well my word of the week is:
Anniversary
This is because at the weekend marked my fifth wedding anniversary of five years. Eek, this might seem a small milestone to a lot of you but for me as an autistic, the odds against the likelihood of me ever getting married. Followed by the statics against getting divorced is high if you are an autistic person. To be honest with you I never imagined getting married or having children and that was reinforced by the "specialists". Which is now know to be utter bollocks! So yeah quite proud even though it has not been plain slaying as I am not the easiest person to live with, we are still going strong as a unit. So today I feel happy about how far I  have come. So Cheers 🍻
To celebrate our anniversary we watched Grimsby and I can confirm it is bloody hilarious if you have immature humour. You will not be disappointed. Nothing beats a good laugh and we don't get to often sit together and watch an adult movie. So it was nice to enjoy it together as a couple.
Hope you have had a great week.
Cheers for reading X

School

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

This is because my eldest child went for a taster session at his new school that he will start in September. He is beyond excited and can not wait. He is desperate for me to buy the school uniform unlike me who is not so excited to leave a massive hole in my pocket😞.

I don't know if am normal or not but I am not sad about this transaction. It is part of the process nor am I upset that he is not a baby. But I am pleased that he is turning into such a lovely little boy. I am happy as he is and I accept the situation.

 I read a lot about parents getting upset about this big change. I do worry that I am not emotionally attached. But then again I never get upset about the past I just take it in the chin. Maybe because I get more neurotic about things in the future that have not happened. It is just the way I am. God parenting is so tough and constantly doubting yourself.

Still, he is a super excited and can't wait to start big school in September.

Cheers for reading X

Pennies

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

PENNIES

This is because I have been spending so much money on shite. I want to cut back and monitor the money I spend.

The things that I have tried to adopt this week is to make meals at home on Sunday as before I would do the quick and easy and buy the meal deal from Sainsbury's after swimming because it was easy and I am lazy! I save £6 just by making that change.

Secondly, I  have downloaded two apps  Shopizze and topcashback, brilliant websites to help save money. I have already saved £5 so far this week!

Thirdly I have got a designated notepad just to write down all my outgoings. So over the next couple of weeks, I can see my pitfalls and areas where can adopt new changes.

Hopefully, this will help me feel a bit better around my finances because I seem to be panicking a lot which then entails random impulses because I have given up and felt defeated! We shall see but feeling much more positive about the situation.

Thanks for reading X 

hot

Hey readers,
my word of the week is:
hot
As lovely as the sunshine is I am not the best for hot humid. I like it warm but with a breeze. I have also had a horrid cough and flu causing me to have a fever. It has been hell at night. One minute I am absolutely freezing then I am roasting. Still at least it is better conditions to diet with, haha. I have been loving drinking more and eating fresh salad. However, I know now at the later end of the week it is wet but still hot. I have enjoyed watching the thunderstorms. We are on 16th floor so have spectacular viewing of the sky.
On Thursday I went to my eldest sons first parenting meeting at his school that he will be starting September. We were told what the main routine is and the different forms etc. Also my son was super excited about having a uniform and a water bottle which to him is incredible. He is now super excited to start school.

cheers for reading X