Hey readers,
This is something that has followed me and most women I know through every stage of life.
From childhood to adulthood, there’s a persistent, often unsolicited soundtrack of commentary from men about our bodies.
Whether it’s “you should smile more,” “you’ve lost weight, you look great,” or the more sinister street-side catcalls, it raises one core question:
Why do men feel the need to comment on women’s bodies?
This is a personal opinion, shaped by experience and observation, but also by countless conversations I’ve had with women who feel the exact same way.
And before anyone feels the need to start typing “not all men,” let me be clear: this isn’t about blaming every man.
But it is about interrogating a widespread behaviour that reflects something deeper in our society.
The Illusion of Entitlement.
Let’s begin with what I think is at the heart of it all: entitlement.
Some men, knowingly or not, carry the belief that they are entitled to evaluate, comment on, and even shape women’s appearances.
This isn’t just a modern phenomenon it’s cultural baggage that’s been centuries in the making.
For so long, women's value in society has been tied to how we look.
We’ve been viewed as trophies, as aesthetic ornaments, as supporting characters in the male narrative.
This isn’t just about individual behaviour.
It’s systemic.
Look at advertising, media, film, and even literature.
The male gaze dominates, shaping how women are portrayed, and by extension, how we see ourselves.
When a man comments on a woman’s body, even if he thinks it’s a compliment, it often stems from the unconscious belief that her body is there for his viewing and his approval.
The Performance of Masculinity.
Another factor I’ve observed is how male comments about women’s bodies serve as a kind of performance.
It’s a way for some men to assert their masculinity whether to themselves or to other men.
The “locker room talk,” the objectifying remarks, the unsolicited opinions online they all function like social currency in certain male groups.
Ironically, many of these comments have very little to do with women at all.
They’re about power.
They’re about signalling dominance, confidence, or status.
In this dynamic, women become tools to reinforce male identity rather than autonomous beings with their own experiences and boundaries.
Just Being Nice – The Veil of Compliments.
Now, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard, “I was just trying to give you a compliment!” when I’ve called out an unwanted comment.
Here’s the thing: unsolicited comments aren’t compliments.
A compliment is something given with care and consideration.
A stranger remarking on my legs while I’m jogging or a colleague telling me I “look sexier with less makeup” isn’t about kindness it’s about control.
What’s more, it shifts the emotional labour onto women.
We’re expected to smile and say thank you, to absorb the awkwardness or discomfort so that the man doesn’t feel rejected or embarrassed.
We’re socialised to be pleasant, even when someone crosses a boundary.
Social Media and the Amplification Effect.
With the rise of social media, this behaviour has only intensified.
Platforms like Instagram and TikTok have made it easier than ever for strangers, often men, to leave comments on women’s bodies from behind the safety of a screen.
The anonymity and distance give people the courage they wouldn’t have face-to-face.
And this online space often reveals the worst of it.
I’ve seen women receive a flood of objectifying or critical comments just for posting a picture in a dress.
“You looked better before,” “Too much makeup,” “Nice rack”and that’s not even the worst of it.
The message is clear: your body is up for public consumption, and everyone gets to have a say.
Women Internalise It, Too.
What’s deeply tragic is how much of this conditioning affects women as well.
We learn to seek male approval from an early age.
We begin to police our own bodies, filter our selfies, avoid clothes that might attract “the wrong kind of attention,” or even hesitate to post anything at all.
When our worth is constantly linked to how men perceive us, it’s hard not to internalise those voices even when we know better.
It’s exhausting. And it’s why so many of us are angry, frustrated, or just plain tired of having our bodies be open to commentary 24/7.
When Is It Okay to Say Something?
This is a question men often ask: “Are we never allowed to compliment a woman?”
Of course, you are.
But here’s a litmus test: ask yourself why you're saying it.
Is it to make her feel good?
Is it respectful?
Is it relevant?
Would you say the same thing to a friend, or to someone who isn’t conventionally attractive?
More importantly: do you know her well enough that she’d want your opinion?
Respect is the difference.
And context matters.
There’s a world of difference between a partner saying “I love the way you look in that dress” and a stranger on the subway saying “Nice ass.”
One is built on intimacy and care.
The other is rooted in audacity.
The Path Forward.
So how do we shift this culture?
First, men need to listen more and speak less especially when women are talking about their lived experiences.
That includes resisting the urge to defend or downplay the behaviour.
A better response is, “I didn’t realise how often this happens. I’ll pay more attention.”
Second, it’s time to redefine masculinity not as a performance of dominance, but as a practice of empathy and integrity.
A man who doesn’t need to comment on every woman who walks by is not weak.
He’s aware.
He’s evolved.
And finally, we need to continue having these conversations openly, even when they’re uncomfortable.
That’s the only way to create a world where women’s bodies are no longer public property.
When men comment on women’s bodies, it’s rarely just about attraction or friendliness.
More often, it’s a reflection of deeply embedded social dynamics entitlement, power, and the normalisation of objectification.
It’s okay to appreciate beauty.
It’s okay to admire someone.
But it’s never okay to assume that your thoughts about someone’s body need to be shared, especially when they weren’t invited.
We’re not asking for silence.
We’re asking for respect.
We’re asking for respect.
And that, I believe, is the least anyone deserves.
Cheers for reading X
