Sunday, 9 September 2018

Proud

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


This is because my youngest has coped so well with starting school and he's even got, special person. This is where two people in the class are a special person of the day and are chosen for good behaviour. 

Funny enough on the same day my eldest also got a special person of the day so they both met each other when they handed the registration as that is their job to do.

My youngest has now started to bring books home which I know he will absolutely love because he loves reading so much. I love reading to them as well because it's a way for me to connect. I'm not always good with social and play so reading gives me that change to connect with my children.

However, my eldest seems to be having problems with sleep again which I think it's to do with anxiety. Therefore it is all fun and games when you got two ratty children to deal with. Hopefully, it is just a phase and my eldest sleep pattern will return back to normal.

cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 09/09/2018

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Thursday, 6 September 2018

School

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

This is because it is the return of school and my eldest is going into Year 2 and my youngest started reception.
My youngest was super excited to start school and he absolutely loves it. Although he's only been doing half days this week until next week and it will be the whole day.
I think one of the reasons why my youngest is so excited because he just loves to be just like his eldest brother. I am pleased to report that he has adapted well and we've had no tears which are really good.
For me, it's slightly strange as it's so quiet but it is nice to go back to the routine and get things done without having children to entertain. I am amazed at how much easy is to do chores without children about and getting them done in half the time.
I'm not used to the alarm clocks mind and getting up so early so we will slightly tired by the end of the week.
Hope you have had a good week

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 2 September 2018

My Sunday Photo 02/09/2018

Thursday, 30 August 2018

Mental

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

because we have crammed so much in for the last week. We started with going on a day out on the Severn Valley stream train followed by fish and chips, perfect!
We then needed to sort out buying uniform for my youngest who will be started reception on Monday, eek. What a drag it was to get a uniform mind. We had to go to several different supermarkets to get all the bits and bobs. That was not fun and then we still ended up ordering online anyway. I am glad that it is all done now.
Still, not all doom and gloom we did treat the boys after weeks of begging from the youngest we took the boys to see The Incredibles 2. It is a brilliant film and was not disappointed, because I thought being the second one might be a bit rubbish but no was a bit disappointed.
Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 26 August 2018

My Sunday Photo 26/08/2018

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Friday, 24 August 2018

Wales

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


This is because we have been to Wales for a few days this week to see my husband relatives and a little mini-break as well.

I am so glad a few days off normal life because I just felt a bit monotonous.

We have visited the beach, which nothing beats good old fresh sea air. Lovely walks around the Welsh countryside and just a general change of scenery.

 The boys have loved going away and to them, it feels like an adventure. Seeing new things and doing something different is always fun for my boys.

We went to visit a copper mine so that was a something different and a good experience to see how things have changed over time.

Let's not forget to mention my boys love of getting to stay for at a Premier Inn which to them is the ultimate treat.

Hope you have had a good week.

cheers for reading X

Thursday, 16 August 2018

Organised

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:
Because that is how I have been feeling. It has been a productive week with getting things up on eBay. Which is easy but finding the time and energy to it is a totally different game.
It feels good to start getting on top of all the stuff, the boys have moved into a normal bed so need to sell their cot bed, end of an era. but so good to have a clear space and have more room for them to play. I can confirm they have which been thoroughly been enjoying.
It is so good to have a cooler week but we still got a couple of picnics in. so, much more enjoyable when you are not sweating and feeling uncomfortable. Everyone is less frustrated and ratty which is a breath of fresh air *excuse the pub*.
hope you have had a good week.

cheers for reading X

Sunday, 12 August 2018

My Sunday Photo 12/08/2018

Thursday, 9 August 2018

Routine

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:
This week I have felt settled. It normally accrues during this time during the summer holiday when I have got used to the new routine. The boys have been a lot calmer this week too and we have restored normal service.


The eldest is super happy as he is now entered stage 5 of swimming and now he can be at the same level as his friend.

On Saturday my husband had a Beaver day at the local scouts and he got invested so now is an officially a beaver leader. I placed a bet that he would be the end of the year and guess what? I was right haha. The boys also enjoyed the Bbq and bouncy castle.

We have also been taking part in the summer challenge at the local library which has helped encourage my son to read.
So overall a rather pleasant week has been had.
I hope to have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Thursday, 2 August 2018

Peaceful

Hey readers,

This week my word of the week is:


As I haven't done a lot but it is just wan I needed for me to rest as I was totally exhausted mentally and physically. 

I have been to the park, scooting and checking out museums close by home. It has been pleasant and I have just rested which I believe has helped my soul. I think I just needed time to shut down.

 I have to take it slow, which I have been doing with pottered about, reading and just generally taking it easy.

Also, the boys have been kept busy with accessing free swimming lessons (they also have their normal ones) so that is one of knackering them out, #mumhack.

My eldest has also gone to the occupational therapist to help with hand control. We have had issues as he is left-handed but won't write with his left hand. 

This is because he believes that because I am autistic and left-handed that will mean he will be the same. I try to tell him that really doesn't matter what hand you write with there will always be autistics who either write in their left or right hand. It has been a struggle so hope these sessions will help.

Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Tuesday, 31 July 2018

I am a slug!

Hey readers,

I promised to write more positive posts but then I would not be true to myself. I don't want to give the impression my life is all lovely and full of flowers when really it can be pretty crap being autistic and trying to cope.

DSC_0622.JPG My brain is dead!

One of the things I seem to struggle is finding my mojo....whereever you are please come back soon, I miss the buzz of the get-up and go!

I feel meh....I know it is only a feeling and that too shall pass. But right now it is hard work to get up and go. I wish I had motivation but having quite an emotional week with downers and feeling well suicidal at one point. 

I kept thinking life would be much better if I wasn't here, I f*ck up too much. Don't worry it was a brief moment when I was right down low and I wanted me to take me.

 I am still here fighting. I am always fighting and you know what it is bloody tiring. I have to battle my thoughts and try to get on with it and during the summer holiday, it is more intense.

I am sure I will feel better soon, emotions are exhausting and you need time to heal. I sure do, I am exhausting, I just want to stop thinking for a bit. I am constantly planning and preparing because if I don't then I stumble, badly. 

Communication, as I have said previously in posts, is something I struggle with, even if it is with people I know. I tend to have a catalogue or format in my head on how to speak. 

Sometimes, I am too exhausted. You could call me anti-social - which would be true. However, space is a big thing for me, I am an introvert by heart and I have come to accept that. I need calm and quiet to move forward.
I suppose writing this out, it has helped clear my thoughts and made me realise that the one thing I need is rest. I need time to heal. It is important to me and it will help greatly.

  I used to be embarrassed by the fact that the social aspect of life makes me so tired and frequently need that rest. 

I think because of a lot of mental energy and that soon saps away especially if I am working harder as I don't have the correct natural skills to do the communicating so many people so automatic and they don't have to even think about.

Sometimes, we have to stop and have a break. It just feels that everywhere there is this notion that you have to be on the go 24-7 but that isn't the case? 

I suppose that is why the slow movement has been come popular and a lot of people like myself are getting tired of this fast pace called life.

I think one of the hardest things for me as an autistic is to accept that some things will always be a struggle and that they do tire me.

 I need to learn to rest and not see myself as a failure because of this. I am sure people don't look at people with a broken leg or whatever and view them as not thriving. 

I just have to work around my limitations and do what can do. At least I can say I have tried.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 29 July 2018

My Sunday Photo 29/07/2018

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Thursday, 26 July 2018

Change

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


First of to kick start the summer hols on day son decides to run in the kitchen with the tablet and accidentally drop it on the floor. Restyling in leaving a wonderful massive crack on the tablet, excellent stuff.

We decided to try out the camping for one night this week and sadly I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't cope with the whole situation due to my autism. SO now I feel pretty crappy about myself about the whole situation that I am not good parent again because I cannot do what normal people do. 

I had a meltdown because of all the stresses and I worry that my husband thinks I'm a right diva but I'm not I just can't cope with the situation. I am useless with change and dealing with new environments especially when it involves waiting around. It just a big massive trigger for me.


Cheers for reading X

Thursday, 19 July 2018

End

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


because it is finally the end of the summer term and glad for a break because both I and the boys are shattered. why is it at the end of the year I just feel washed out.

Hubby has benefits sorting out camping as we are doing it again this year. I struggle with spending days away with my autism so we are going to have to small holidays in the UK, making it more manageable for me and my health. I am blessed that my eldest is so understanding with me and how I am.

I can not believe also that now both my boys will be going to school in September, eek! Also means having to pay for two sets of school shoes, joy!

Husband has been helping at my son's beaver class and he is now an official leader. I predicted he would by the end of the year, I love it when. I am right haha.


Cheers for reading X

Friday, 13 July 2018

Singing.

Hey readers,

my word of the week is:


This is because my son has spent a large proportion of his time at school and home practising for his singing performance at school on Wednesday.

Due to his autism, his anxiety was through the roof so we have been finding ways to calm that done. He loves the singing element.

Thank goodness for YouTube for where he can listen to the song and practice at home
.
In other good news, he went to London on a school day trips and loved it. ever since he was younger he has been obsessed with London.

DS1 also receded his star of the week for reflecting and looking back on how much he has improved over the school year.

DS2 had started his swimming lessons this week and it has really helped him with his confidence. He also went to his second induction for his new school which he is super excited when using his nursery friend that he plays with all the time is going to be in the same class.

I have been enjoying the cooler end of the week and to be finally getting to sleep at night after it being so muggy at the start.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 8 July 2018

My Sunday Photo 08/07/2018

Thursday, 5 July 2018

Events

Hey readers,

This weeks word of the week is


because there has been so much on. First, my eldest had his sports day. Was really pleased that he is learning to not get bogged down with the whole winning but focusing on just enjoying the sports.

My youngest had his first taster session at school this week and he loved it. He loved all the activities and just being in the same school as his big brother. Both boys were happy to find that the youngest is going to be in the same reception class that the eldest when he first started. Simple pleasures eh when you are young.

In other news, my eldest had his school parents review to see how he has been getting on during the summer term. He has been meeting his targets which is good because we were worried. 

When my ds1 comes how he frequently says that he gets zero for his spelling at least we know now that not to be the case and he is doing alright. The way his anxiety was really got us worried. So that gave us some reassurance.


Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 1 July 2018

My Sunday Photo 01/07/2018

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Thursday, 28 June 2018

Summer

Hey, readers,

my word of the week is:


because it is now officially summer and boy does the weather let us know. This weekend has been busy with clubs and kids parties, my eldest has been super exhausted during the week due to hectic weekend shenanigans.

DS1 also got to see his school artwork on display in a local public venue last night and he was super chuffed that he got his work chosen for it. Not just that but this week at beavers he got his gardening badge, which he loves because the design on it involves a watering can.

DS2 has been enjoying nursery with seeing the dentist giving our information and an exciting visit from the fire engine. He has been so chatty now to everyone so it is lovely to see his confidence grow. He will soon be leaving nursery next month and start school in September with his brother.


Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 24 June 2018

My Sunday Photo 24/06/2018

The boy loves Tigger. He cuddles Tigger at night. He was blown away when he saw this massive Tigger in a charity shop!

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Wednesday, 20 June 2018

Wordless Wednesday

Sunday, 17 June 2018

My Sunday Photo 17/06/2018

Thursday, 14 June 2018

changes to life

Hey readers,

In less than, a few days both my boys will have broken up from Nursery and school, which means its official summer holiday. That is right peeps six whole weeks, argh.

As much as I love my little darlings and spending time with them, they can be a right royal pain, I think the most annoying thing is the constant bickering and it can get relentless. So, I have come up with some tips on how not to lose your sh*t during the summer holidays.

Firstly, remember that as adults it is still ok to have time out, actually, I would put it up there as essential basic needs for a parent ;) I often have to have five minutes or else my head would explode into tiny pieces.

Get out even if it is to the park every single day it will save not only your sanity but your children.
Sit on a wall someone suitable and play car game - 5 points if you can spot a red/blue/green whatever is a great game to do outdoors and again it gets you outside.

As you know I am a massive fan of the library/museum or free places they bring so much joy to my heart. They are also a frigging lifesaver when you are skint and check out your local community service as they have free events for kids during the summer.

Don't feel guilty if you have the TV on. I have the motto as a parent whatever helps you get through the day, obviously, I would crack but TV is a real lifesaver in parents hour of need. Remember it is a holiday, don't feel you have to constantly be doing something with your child. Sometimes, you have to say now go and play or watch something. 

It promotes independent thinking and ever since the day I stopped the guilt of feeling I needed to entertain children it got a hell of a lot better for everyone. Also, can I mention with time they did actually learn their own thing which is brilliant?

Sunday, 10 June 2018

My Sunday Photo 10/06/2018

Sunday, 3 June 2018

My Sunday Photo 03/06/2018

Sunday, 27 May 2018

My Sunday Photo 27/05/2018

Friday, 25 May 2018

Hey readers,

Today I feel a bit lonely, though not in the sense where I want to mingle with people. More isolating, knowing that I am different and that sense of not being 'good enough'.

 Often I can ignore or distract myself from focusing on negativity. But today is a struggle. I just feel like I can not function like the rest of society. I feel my inadequacies.... they feel so loud in my head, they might not be real but they feel real to me and today it hurts.

black brush strokes on white paper

I have always battled with being autisitic...it is tough going, after a tough long week of challenges with a little fight left it can defeat you. 

I think one of my problems so I am not often relaxed in situations such as having to go to the school assembly, this is where I feel most insecure. I don't feel right and I feel like everyone is watching me. 

I know I  am probably being narcissistic and changes are no one is, no one cares, hey even some may feel similar.
At the time it feels scary, and because my anxiety is on that super alert it is hard to come down without the good old meltdown. 

Yes to that question I did have an epic meltdown, it is all I could do. Then I took my laptop and wrote my thoughts. No real answers, it is merely a record of how I am feeling.

I feel not amazing but cathartic, now I am going off for a tea, cause let's face it, tea doesn't cure feeling crap but sure makes the painless hard to bear.

Cheers for reading X

Saturday, 19 May 2018

My Sunday Photo 19/05/2018

Sunday, 13 May 2018

My Sunday Photo 13/05/2018

Sunday, 29 April 2018

My Sunday Photo 29/04/2018

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Sunday, 22 April 2018

My Sunday Photo 22/04/2018

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Sunday, 15 April 2018

My Sunday Photo 15/04/2018

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Sunday, 8 April 2018

My Sunday Photo 08/04/2018

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Friday, 6 April 2018

My Sunday Photo 06/05/2018

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Thursday, 5 April 2018

Waes

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

WALES

This week we went to visit my husband's relatives in Wales. We spend a few days at Wales and even though the weather was a bit iffy, it was lovely to see a change of scenery.

We stayed in a Premier Inn and my boys are so excited, we have stayed in a fair few so they are used to them. They just get so excited and knowing they can have American pancakes for breakfast they were simply living their best life.
We went down a bit and it was really fun to explore and do something different. Plus, it was free and there was a museum as well, perfect for me, lol.

We went for walks in the countryside and it was lovely to be just in the open area and see nature. I love walking so it was lovely to have a wander with the boys.

Hope you have a had a good week.


Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 25 March 2018

My Sunday photo 25/03/2018

Friday, 23 March 2018

End

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

Add heading

because this week my son had the beaver toy to look after all week. Which was fun until we had to return him. My eldest doesn't like to return beaver. so, took a lot of persuasion and discussion about if he did have beaver all the time he would be bored. At least when he gets him again in the future he can be excited because it is different and fun.

I also went to a school meeting at school about ds1. He seems to be doing ok, we need to work on him learning that he can't win everything. He is not good at losing and gets very angry over it. So, we shall see how that turns out. It is something that is going to take time, like everything else.

Hope you have had a good week.


Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 18 March 2018

New

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

NEW

because my son this weekend went to his first-ever scout camp. We were a bit apprehensive as my son is autistic and we weren't sure how he would respond. 

Luckily my husband is a volunteer so he stays with him so he doesn't have a sudden breakdown. That helped a great deal. He did struggle in the evening and the following day. However hubby took him aside to talk it through.

The good news is he did enjoy the camp and he is really looking forward to the next one. However, Monday he was mentally drained from it, so we had to take it really slow with him. 

Still, for us it is positive he stuck it out and enjoyed himself.
He loved the food from camp as well, I can't believe how much he ate and even tried the jacket potato though previously he would be against it.
Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Saturday, 17 March 2018

My Sunday photo 17/03/2018

Sunday, 11 March 2018

My Sunday photo 11/03/2018

Friday, 9 March 2018

Cough.

Hey readers,

My word of the week is


because it has been coughing all round in my home and snot running down the face. I have struggled to function other than to think about sleep. 

Therefore, spending a lot for a time at home and not doing much. Which I don't mind as I am exhausted anyways!

In other news, the car's bumper needed changing as someone bumped into it by accident. So, that has taken some work, joy!

At least normal routine has resumed and though my youngest has had three days off from nursery due to a boiler breaking down, it feels good to be back to normal. It has been lovely also to see the sunshine.

Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Friday, 2 March 2018

News

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


because previously I mentioned the battle that is personal independence payment and going through the appeal stage.

 It was extremely frustrating as I have scored zero points, therefore, I had to go for an appeal. Whilst waiting for all the information from the DWP regarding my application which takes roughly 28 days we had some really good news. 

We randomly received a big payment from the bank and we found out it was Pip. After a week we finally received a letter to confirm that we had been successfully awarded Pip there for not having to actually have to deal with going to court and appeal which is a massive relief for us.

Another highlight of the week is finally getting snow, the boys absolutely loved playing in the snow and watching the wind swirl the snow around.

My eldest got to dress up as The Flash his favourite character for World Book Day. Whereas my youngest, unfortunately, could not go into the nursery because the boiler in the nursery had broken down.


So overall a rather pleasant week and a sense of relief with the success of pip.

Hope you had a good week.


cheers for reading X

Sunday, 25 February 2018

My Sunday Photo 25/02/2018

Friday, 23 February 2018

Relaxed

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


Sometimes, if I am honest I can get overwhelmed before the half term as the prospect of having two boisterous children during the holidays fills me with dread. However, I have to say it hasn't been too bad. The boys love playing together and not too many meltdowns. I have been relaxed and that makes a huge difference.

My eldest has made me his first ever cup of tea. He was so pleased because he has been so desperate to make me one. It was a lovely little surprise. Don't worry he didn't just do it himself but with assistance from his daddy. Then he was like I want to get a plain cup and he wanted to write with the sharpie pens 'I love mummy and daddy' and it was like an awwww moment, bless him!
Hope you have had a good week,

Cheers for reading X

Sunday, 18 February 2018

My Sunday Photo 18/02/2018

Thursday, 26 October 2017

Tired

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:
TIRED
Because I am trying to adjust to my medication that makes me feel pretty lousy a,s it has a massive side effect of drowsiness. I am working on a system that works best for me and my body. It is still under working progress! I am just glad I have my husband as my registered carer or else I would be royally screwed.
One major additional pressure is that it is half term and there is constant noise, so many things to do and trying to juggle them all is an act in itself. Don't get me wrong I do love having the boys around, it is just they have so much energy that it is exhausting to watch, haha!
Hope you have had a fab week!
Cheers for reading X


Thursday, 19 October 2017

Adapting

Hey readers,
my word of the week is:

this is because I have changed my medication for anxiety and adjusting to that takes time. I need to accept that miracles don't happen in a day and the side effects will go with time.
Let's not forget that beautiful red sun on Monday, now feels like a distance away, haha!
Also, this week I went to my eldest parent evening, he seems absolutely fine with no concerns. He is the type of child to get on with learning and he especially enjoys findings out the way things work.
He did some yoga this term for three days a week before school started. I think he is a little sad that it has ended but happy knowing that after half term he will be starting Street dance.
Hope your week has been good.

Cheers for reading X