Autistic adulting sucks!

Hey readers,

I hate people, seriously all they ever seem to do is fake it. Why can't people be honest and just tell the truth because you think it hurts people's feelings. But here is the thing I already know so don't pussy around the subject.

It sucks being autistic, the constant rejection of people, pretending to be nice when really they don't give two monkeys.

I am sick of it and sick of this world that I live in. It doesn't help I am stuck in places where people don't really know where to put me. Let's face facts first impressions count and no one likes the awkwardness of autistic people, it is much easier to just deny us the opportunity. 

Even though we autistic people would so bloody hard, more so than the average person because we have to-it's a fight to fit in when your just totally failing on the outside. I feel lost and I don't belong, this place feels lonely. Sometimes, I just can't face it anymore but once again you have to find the strength to get back up again even though you are plummeting into a dark, dark place.

It sucks to have to undergo interviews when clearly they are not autistic friendly and again I feel like my needs are met.  Don't you understand we autistic people can't cope with question after question without getting burnt out, not to mention the social interaction, it takes all our resources to get through it to then be told that actually, we are not looking for people at the moment? 

Why put me through this hell, what you really mean is you are not a suitable candidate, just be honest, at least I know where I stand. Right now I feel insulted and taken for a full. It took all my energy to get out of my comfort zone and I am devastated. It really does suck because of the effort I put into these things but never get the opportunities, I don't know why I bother.

Even as an adult I am always dealt with the hand of rejection and you know what people it sucks, big time for us autistic people to be treated like this. I am just thankful for my blog as it is an outlet when other times I can not muster the words to anyone about the pain I am battling every day. Rant over!

Cheers for reading x

Benefits of learning through play.

Hey readers,

We all know that play is really good for a child but do we know the benefits? That is why I want to explore why playing is so good for the learning of children. 

1. Natural way to learn. 

 play is a natural way to learn for a child. Children learn through practicing skills, trying out new possibilities. Not to mention play helps revise hypothesized and discover new challenges which then leads to deeper learning. Play allows children to communicate ideas, to understand others through social interaction, paving the way to build deeper understanding and more powerful relationships.

2. Choice. 

 play gives children the choice such as if they are given different toys to choose from that they want to play with. This is a form of self-expression because they are picking toys that they like.

3. Play helps develop communication.

Play allows children the child an opportunity to communicate through using speech and language skills as a way to express their desires and wants. If the child is playing with others there is a conversation occurring through role-play or making decisions together on what to do. 

Even if the child is playing by themselves you most likely find the child will still use self-talk as a form of expressing themselves such as playing with cars they may say such words as wee or beep beep. If the child is playing with others and the other speaks they can learn to interact and maybe learn new words if they haven't heard from them so therefore developing their vocabulary. 

4. Helps creativity.

with play, children use their imaginations they do this by doing make-believe games or getting lost in present worlds. Children act out different situations whilst boosting their confidence. The child makes their own rules and learns how to follow them or adapt if needed. These skills are helpful in life as they teach children how to navigate life and develop relationships with others. 

5. Gives children space.

When children have time and space to play without restriction, their imitations can roam and they can explore ideas you don't need a large play space. Just try adding simple materials like cardboard boxes to your existing space. This can inspire lots of pretend play, even in small spaces. 

6. Physical. 

Physical play is important for children to keep fit and healthy. Physical play is the type of play that gets your child moving from big movements like running and jumping to small movements like picking up a pencil or tying a knot.

7. Helps increase self-esteem. 

Play is a safe place to practice decision-making and build confidence. Letting children participate in risky play allows them to test what they are capable of. It helps them safely experience their limits and achieve their own goals, ultimately boosting their confidence

8.  Gains independence. 

While interaction with adults and other children during play builds important cognitive, language, and self-regulation skills, independent play also has benefits. When a child plays alone, it can foster imagination and creative play, build persistence and problem-solving skills, and teach patience and resilience.

What are your thoughts on play? Love to hear them in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 01/05/2022

My eldest son getting his X-ray and finding out he broke his wrist at school this week.

         

70 ways to distract yourself from anxiety.

Hey readers, 

Now sometimes using distractions as a tool to help reduce anxiety can be of benefit because you are not focusing on anxiety. The fewer thoughts you give to anxiety the less change of the anxiety manifesting and getting which could lead to a bad place. 

Distractions are a great way to not only reduce anxiety but also give back the sense of control over the thoughts. I have been in these situations as anxiety suffers I know firsthand that they can work and be of real benefit in times of need when anxiety feels like it is taking over.

Of course, it must be noted that distractions are only a temporary solution nevertheless can be of benefit because it gives you a break from being in that constant anxiety state. It allows you to pause and it can make the anxiety when it returns a lot less intense so much more manageable. 

Below I have a list of 70 distraction techniques that you can take away and practice when needed.

1. Watch a tv show.

2. Watch a movie.

 

3. Sing your heart out.

4. Watch a Youtube video.

5. watch TikTok videos. 

6. Grab a snack.

7. Mindful doodling.

8. Play a game.

9. Clean.

10. Listen to music.

11. Wash your face or hands. 

12. Gratitude list.

13. Exercise.

 

14. go out for a walk 

15. Listen to a podcast.

16. Listen to an audiobook.

 

17. Untangle the necklaces or leads you to have to lie in the drawn. 

18. Sell stuff on eBay. 

19. Take photographs. 

20. Do some cooking. 

21. Play with a fidget tool. 

22. Name all the colours in the room. 

23. Create a mantra if you don't have one and repeat it to yourself, e.g. "I can do this", "This too shall pass". Literally, spell it out if repeating is not enough. 

24.  Think of a common task and go through it step-by-step. Imagine you're explaining the process to someone else. 

25. Mow the lawn. 

26. Make a budget. 

27. Meal plan. 

28. Create an emergency fund. 

29. Unsubscribe to any unwanted emails. 

30. Clean out your emails. 

31. Watch a Ted Talk.

32. Observe something and describe it in extreme detail. Notice how it looks, its pattern, texture, and how it feels. For example, you could say it is a green apple with two small bruises.

33. Practice mindfulness.

34. Journal. 

35. Colour in. 

36. Make a video. 

37. Make lists (to read, to watch, to do, to listen, to play...).

38.  Do the laundry. 

39. Rank things (top 1o movies, best cuisines, top 5 musical artists...).

40. Make music playlists for different occasions (songs to dance to, relaxing music, music to listen to whilst reading...).

41.  Discuss what you watched, read, or played with someone. 

42. Browse social media. 

43. Look at memes.

44. Dance.

45. Start a collection (stickers, memes, leaves...).

46. Make memes. 

47. Write a positive review for something you enjoyed. 

48. Learn about a culture. 

49. Explore Wikipedia. 

50. Warch a foreign film or drama. 

51. Read a graphic novel or comics. 

52. Make a bucket list. 

53. Create a game. 

54. Make a bucket list. 

55. Observe wildlife. 

56. Take a virtual tour. 

57. Attend a virtual concert. 

58. Travel the world using Goggle Earth. 

59. Read some jokes. 

60. Read articles on things you're interested in. 

61. Take silly quizzes online. 

62. Do a jigsaw puzzle.

63. Play scrabble. 

64. Volunteer.

65. Make a gift or care package for someone. 

66. Do nail art. 

67. Redecocrate something. 

68. Plant something. 

69. Try a new recipe. 

70. Make a stop motion animation. 

What do you think of my list of distractions to help when feeling anxious? Have I missed any good ones that work for you? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

On the side

Hey readers,

When I was a child I learned the art of a thing called masking, aka faking it and what this means is that I learned the behaviour of others. The problem being is that if something changes that I can mess up badly because I can't be flexible with my thinking.

 That is one of the characteristics of autism is we manage change to some degree but we only see it in a structured way that is black or white (through past learned experiences or what we have read up on the problem where we fail is that if something slightly different happens in the format then we screw up basically. It can lead to getting things wrong, saying something wrong, coming across as rude, not coping, having meltdowns or shutdowns, etc. 

I think it's really hard being an autistic girl growing up because there is so much more pressure to be sociable than a boy. When I was growing up I felt that boys got away with not getting noticed therefore resulting in having less social pressure. 

I used to absolutely hate being a girl because of this reason and I thought boys had it a lot easier or more relaxed attitude with regard to social and communication which suited me perfectly.

Now that I'm an adult I find it a bit easier because I have more experience and knowledge but I still frequently mess up. If I am feeling anxious or if there is too much going on in my head can't seem to focus on the rules.

 There are times when stressful factors cause me more brainpower than normal and it is like I regress in my behaviour. That is why it's so hard to measure autism, as it is not something that you can say x y and z it's constantly shifting depending on the environment and mindset of that individual.

Since being a parent I have learned that there are so many other social rules involved when bringing up a child.

I first it was lovely when my children were newborns as there is less pressure on me to be sociable but since my children are at school I have noticed that there's a hell of a lot more interaction going on.

Me being an autistic parent does affect my self-esteem. A lot of the time I feel inadequate,  especially as my husband is very good at communicating and engaging with others. It leaves me feeling really angry and frustrated. I know comparing is the worst thing to do but it coincides with me learning about other people.

I think one of the hardest and most upsetting things is when people don't see you as an individual but as some sort of invalid because you're autistic. They don't look past the label or they do but then they just talk down to you in a condescending way. The thing is I am aware of exactly what is happening, I just don't have the skills to communicate and express myself as clearly as other people do.

It has really made me feel quite low at times because I feel like I can't give my child everything that a typical parent has to offer. I suppose that is why I enjoy the school holidays more because I don't have to worry about social things. 

The only downside is that when I return I have to deal with the social side of education and whatnot. I feel rubbish and I have felt very very low causing me to struggle to get up in the mornings. 

I have also learned to avoid situations and tend to get my husband to do the tasks because it's too upsetting at times to have to face discrimination against me. I think that's one of the saddest things about being an autistic parent is the fact that you deal with a lot of rejection or misunderstanding. I like my voice isn't heard and again that familiar outcast feeling appears.

Cheers for reading X

 

My Sunday Photo 24/04/2022

Bubble magic! 

         

CheckoutSmart app review

 Hey readers, 

Not long ago I reviewed the Shopmium app here and there is a similar cashback app also available to download called CheckoutSmart which I am going to explore today. 

It is very similar to Shopmium in the sense that you can get free or reduced food from shops in-store and online (CheckoutSmart has more stores). I think personally though CheckoutSmart is a better app because there are more offers the only downfall is the cashout element which I go into detail about later. 

What is it?

CheckoutSmart is an app you can download on your phone for free on android and apple stores that offers cashback on products either for the full amount or a reduced amount. It is a great way to reduce the cost of your supermarket shopping and also sometimes you can try new food that you may not originally buy.  

You just need to sign up to the app with your email or you can use your Facebook login details. 

Make sure you check the app regularly as they frequently update their offers on the app.

The types of products range from Proper popcorn, Marrs chocolate bars, and Cadbury chocolate cookie mix. Richmond toad in the whole kid, flavored water,  coffee syrups, Kellogs cereal, fiber bars to name a few that spring to mind.

How to use it. 

Search for products you want (make sure you check the location is correct as well). Go to the store buy the item and get the receipt. Open up the app click on the red icon with your hand at the bottom of the screen (see picture below) then select the store you went to, then the day (you have 6 days to claim back) then either add from the list click on the item or you can scan the barcode of the product and click next.

 Finally, scan in the receipt, and if it is a long receipt you can take multiple photos, and then at the bottom click claim cashback. Make sure you have good lighting and the receipt is as straight as possible so that it can be read clearly to get your money back.

 It shouldn't take no more than 24-48 hours to receive notification of it is being processed or not. Obviously, if it comes back as they can't read the receipt you have an opportunity to reupload again. 

Filter option.  

What I like about the app is the feature where you can click to choose all stores or chose a particular store of your choice which will come up with only offers for that store. Also, you can sort out offers by cashback in pounds, cashback in %, or when the offer start date is, which makes it so much easier to navigate around the app. 

Shops you can use it in. 

Of course, offers are available from the big supermarkets - Asda. Tesco, Sainsbury's, Morrisons, and Lidl but they also offer in other stalls such as Whsmith, Holland and Barratt & Wilkos for example. Also if you buy the offers from CheckoutSmart then you could get branded items cheaper than the supermarket's own items. 

Deliveries. 

Not only can you get cashback from supermarket items but you can also claim back 1% in cashback from your delivered takeaways from places like Just Eat and Deliveroo.

Claim money back. 

Once you’ve scanned a receipt, it takes up to 7 days for your reward to be tracked. The money will show in your account after this. You can request the money directly to your bank account, or you can choose to cash out with PayPal instead – it’s your choice.

For your first payment, you can claim anything over £1. After that, you can withdraw the cashback when your account reaches £5 and over. Please note, that there is a 5% processing fee charged if you transfer less than £20, so make sure you’ve earned cash back over £19.99 before you request a payment.

Conclusion.

CheckoutSmart app is a fantastic app to help reduce the cost of shopping, you often get free food and there are frequent new offers. It doesn't take long to add up to the £20.00 mark so you won't have to worry about waiting months to cash out. Overall it is my favorite food cashback type app and if you haven't downloaded it what are you waiting for?!

Cheers for reading X