Reasons why I love autumn.

Hey readers,

We have reached September where the evenings are getting darker and that little bit cooler as we are fast approaching Autumn (22 September).

 So I am going to celebrate why I love Autumn and why it trumps over other seasons.

1) Woolie jumpers to get cosy and snug.

2) Hot chocolate to warm off that coldness.

3) crunchy leaves to jump and walk-in is the best.

4) The air feels fresher and crisper.

5) Walking in the park is much more pleasurable watching the different colours changing.

6) The smell of cinnamon makes my nose twitch with joy.

7) Hot drinks and putting your hands around the cup is so comforting.

8) candles and wanting to stay in with blankets and books is a real joy.

9) I really like it when there is dense fog and I can't see anything. It feels closed in and secures.

10) Fluffy socks keeping your toes lovely and toasty!

Happy Autumn,

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 20/09/2020

 

How to improve your mobile battery.

Hey readers,

Do you suck the energy dry form your phone? Let me give you some tips to help extend the amount of battery phone.

Firstly, turning down the brightness can help reduce the amount of battery.

When using wallpaper as a background for your mobile chose a darker theme as less light is used and can help reduce your battery usage.

Turning off vibrate can increase talk time for an extra 10 minutes, If you go into the settings of your phone it is very simple to switch over.

Turn off additional settings such a GPS, location and anything else that might not be used.

One of the easiest ways to help reduce battery time is to turn down the brightness as this contribute to your battery life. 

This is one of the most popular and effective ways used by people.

Looking through the apps on your phone and work out which ones are using up more battery than others, then turn off the irrelevant ones.

Now again go through a clear out of apps on your phone that you do not use anymore, this will help with reducing battery.

If you are not worried about constantly getting notifications with emails and any other notification form apps. 

Then my suggestion is to turn off them notifications will be a big help in increasing your battery life.

I have found that being on Android that using apps constantly comes with updates that never seem to stop. 

Well, a way to deal with this is the turn off your notifications. Therefore saves a lot of battery and if you need to update an app it is easy to do manual through the app store.

All these tips may seem little improvements but when achieving all these actions then they soon add up to longer battery life, making you get more out of your mobile during the day.

Cheers for reading X

It's OK to bottle feed

Hey readers,

One of the main areas of things that you think about when you have a child is feeding them. I originally tried brest feeding and failed within five days as I was in pain, could not co-ordinate and triggered postnatal depression.

As a mother you want to do your best for your child. The one thing for me as a mother in the begining was trying to br this ideal perfect mother. I had to be able to breastfeed my baby or else I was doomed to failure.

 I felt this kind of message was reinforced everywhere I looked. There were posters on the hospital walls about the whole breast is best and the feeling that I had to do it succeed. 

No one teaches you about formula and that you as an individual can make the choice. I went to pre baby classes and the breast brigade forced this ideas of the importance of breast in a very dominated and unhelpful way.

 The effect of this was damaging and it triggered deep depression and self hatred way I was not successful with breast feeding.

I felt very depressed and felt like I was not what you would call a 'real women'. I could not co-ordinate no matter how many 'professionals' came and shoverd my arms here and there. 

I could not line up things the right way. I tried every position possible and the only way I would be successful is if someone did it for me.

I felt anger that no one talks to you about the emotional impact of the guilt. I hated myself and the world. Not to mention the emotional impact on the bond I had with my boy. 

I cut off feelings and attachment towards my son because I could not provide then there was no point connecting as I was damaged. I would just further complicate the situation. 

I felt I screwed up his development and he was going be retarded and not develop in the correct way.

I was a mess and lack of sleep combined nearly threw me over the edge. Thankfully after seeing my health visitor who said to me give him formula it doesn't matter as its 90% athe same closeness with the nutrient elements. 

She said.she formula feed all her children and they are grown u and fine. I can not tell you how relieved and reassured it made me feel. It also gave me confidence and helped build a proper bond with my child.

Now reflecting back I am glad I chose formula because for me it was the right decision. I accept that breast is obviously the natural way. But it is not the only option. We are lucky to have a place where we can provide health and alternatives that are just as good as breast milk.

Everyone is different, we all have our journey and battles to face. Some of us are successful and take breast feeding straight away. But that does not mean your failure if you don't. What the most important thing to remember is you do what is right for you and your child.

Thank you for reading X

A letter to guilt.

Hey guilt,

We don't need introductions we already know each other fairly well, as you are always there permanent 24/7 hiding in the background waiting to pounce.

I am just writing this letter to let you know that I seriously mother f****** hate you. you know this, you know when am weak and you can manipulate me. You think I will listen but I will put up a fight. 

There are days when there are constant internal squabbles between me and you. It is tiring and no one comes out.winning in this war. But I still put up a fight most days, while you hoover in the background.

I try to be a good mother,  I really do. I don't get it always right but please stop with the pestering, knocking at my door every corner of the way through motherhood. 

No one provides a manual with this parenting malarkey so how am I supposed to know. Sometimes I am so scared that I don't know what to do. 

All you can do is hope for the best. I am constantly learning through trial and error. Sometimes I win, other times I fail dramatically so.

I know you love the control over my weak mind, especially when I'm not certain but I'm sick of this battle between you and me. I have had enough of this constant battering me down with your mental torture.

You take advantage of all the information available, whether that be online, TV or whatever to make a stronger argument and bring me down. I am sick of this punishment! 

You dampen my mood and make me feel miserable. I shouldn't have to feel like this. I have a right to be happy just like anyone else.

Ok, I lose my shit from time to time and shout mum makes an appearance. I let the kids watch TV, sometimes I look at my phone a little bit too much but give me a goddamn break it is hard work.

I know people are going to criticise me for making the comment but parenting is a full-time job but no-one recognises what you do. Apart from your guilt, you are there waiting at every opportunity to put me down and make me feel like I'm the worst parent in the whole entire world.

Sometimes you mess with my brain so much that I lie awake in the early hours of the morning reflecting and where it all went wrong.

Right now I don't care anymore and no I'm not 100% perfect but I'll give it a good try. We all have to learn from my mistakes or how else do I grow as a parent.

I work my ass off, I try to do all the things that you should do as a parent I feed them a clear of them I love them but now and again I make mistakes I am only human after all.
so on a final note to your guilt, I want to say f*** you.

yours,

A tired mother dealing with this guilt trip!

Messy play, ugh!

Hey readers,

SO the other day I thought I know what would be fun and creative on Sunday morning, pre-9am getting the paints out to some messy play. I know what you are thinking already.

I am absolutely insane because it appears that I have some sort of long term memory with forgetting all about the crappy attempts last time and all the stress it caused.

But as per usual 'mummy expectations' put on me through reading too many ideologies through social media, this sodding technological world we live in. 

I respect the fact that no one ever put a gun against my head, it is just having low self-confidence in anything and parenting I worry about everything. 

I do I am not going lie, I don't need pity it just a fact of life.

But just remind me any time I think it is a good idea to go solo with a three year with paints, just step away. 

Seriously, I appreciate art but I don't really rate a Pollock style rug, nor walls, nor table, nor sofa, nor bath, basically any fucking where the child decides to put the paint.

I am nervous wreck anyway because I am lucky enough to have a disposition to anxiety type A  personality shall we say.

Why, is it so important to paint, it consists of the child painting a grand total of five minutes whilst muggings here spends a good old forty minutes to clean up. 

I spend more time doing the work then the actual child, surely that is not right.

I will be honest I am not very good with the mess, and disorder with no logic to it. 

I REALLY, REALLY should leave this type of activity to the professional's AKA school. He has a good three hours, five times a week to lose his shit with the paint then all I need to do is bath him in the brown mess every single day and constantly add to the pile of washing.  

I am down with that, they can guide him to be an outstanding artist, teachers are trained and expert in this field, hence why they have so many teacher training days to deal with such skills.

So, the moral of the story is don't ever let your child loose with paint until they are at an age where they can clean up after themselves. I shall just embrace painting app on the table and leave the important stuff to the professionals!

What do you think about messy play? Is a dream or is it hell for you? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 13/09/2020

Stuck in Roblox world 😂!