Mummy will you play with me?

Hey readers, 

Them words.... "mummy, will you play with me?" I dread.

I. HATE. PLAY.

Specifically, imaginary play, the thought of it gives me the shudders. Even after 8 years of being a mother, I hate it. I get so on edge thinking will my child ask me. 

Now I suppose one the struggles is I am not good at thinking outside of the box as it were. I am autistic and just coming up with random ideas is a big bloody struggle truth be told. 

I don't enjoy this type of play. I think the worst bit of it all is the guilt that I have created myself inside my own head that I must be good at imaginary play if I want to be a good mother. 

I know it sounds ridiculous but when you have been observed in playing with your children from professionals you get a bit paranoid. 

Now I am good at constructive play such as colouring in, writing on windows with window pens, reading books etc. 

My kids can come to me and talk to me about anything and I will listen and answer, no problems there. 

I just can't deal with doing things without order or structure and this falls back to being autistic. I walked out once a couple of times when I have been to live performances when they are improvising. 

The thought of being on the spot and having to come up with something is really tricky. It's like my mind goes blank the moment I am under pressure, I just can not think of what to do or say at that moment.

So coming back to play I am trying to be accepting of what I can and can not do. Opening up on this platform makes me feel scared of the judgement I guess but I am going to tell my husband as well.

 I'm scared of being open and saying look I struggle, I don't like it and it fills me with dread. There are some days when I am so anxious about it I will stay up so I am too tired the next day to feel anything. 

I think I am more conscious of my own behaviour due to the intensity of staying at home more. It is tough, really tough. I know I am not alone but it is almost a taboo topic saying you hate the imaginary play. 

I think if I was to accept it more it would relax me better and have a better time. 

I know my boys are looked after and are fine. It is just dealing with the intrusive thoughts in my mind. 

Let's focus a little bit of the positives about not playing imaginary play and letting my little darlings be free to play. 

It teaches them to be independent which isn't a bad thing, it means there more creative when they are bored because they are looking for ways to entertain themselves. 

So in the grand schemes of things not that bad really. Just need to be kinder to myself because we are different and we can't all be good at everything right?

Cheers for reading X 

8 ways to help your child sleep during a heatwave

Hey readers,

We are in the midst of a heatwave and it so hot in the evenings. It can be a real struggle for kids to settle and get to sleep. 

There is nothing worse than a miserable child that has not had a good night sleep. There are ways to help cool your child and make it a more of a breeze to settle them for the night.

Below I have come up with some suggestions to help keep kids cool and to sleep at night during a heatwave.

1. Clothing. 

Get rid of all the layers and just have pants or nappies - whatever is appropriate for the age of the child.

2. Bedding. 

Make sure you use the right bedding - either a light tog quilt or what I do with my boys simply uses a thin sheet. They enjoy the comfort but the sheet won't be heavy to make them, even more, hot then they need to be.

3. Bath.

Giving a cold lukewarm shower or bath before bed can help reduce temperature but it is important to make the time in the shower or bath quick because you don't want them to get too cold. I have found that covering your child in talc is a good way to keep the child cool.

4. Blinds. 

I find blackout blinds brilliant at keeping the light out as we are now getting dark nights a lot later. 

With having the windows open before bedtime can keep the room cool and if you can keeping them open during the night helps keep the temperature low. 

5. Fan.

Also, if your child is not distracted by the noise then it might be worth considering a fan to add that extra coolness in the room. 

During the day you can also keep the whole of your home ventilated by having doors and windows open to keep the air following and making the rooms cool. 

Another trick to keep rooms cool is to have the curtains pulled two thirds away to keep that sun from making the room boiling hot.

6. Thermometer. 

If you are like me having a temperature thermometer that accurately measures the room temperature is useful as it gives me that peace of mind to know I can get the room right.

7. Drink. 

Before putting your child to bed a good suggestion is swapping the usual hot milky drink that they have before bed and swapping it for a cold milk drink. 

This way then they will help keep your child's body temperature cool. In addition, you could consider putting the bottle or cup into the fridge to keep it at a cool temperature.

8. Chillout. 

It is important to keep the child calm before bed because if they get too excitable that can also increase the child's temperature.

 Making sure you do activities that are calming for the child such as watching a relaxing tv show, having some quiet time and reading a book can all help keep things calm and settled.

What things help you keep your child cool during the night of a heatwave? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below. 

Thank you for reading. X

My Sunday photo 31/05/2020

Periods after pregnancy.

Hey readers,

I am on my period and it sucks physically and mentally every single month. It feels like hell! I know it is like this for a lot of women.

 However, since I gave birth something happened to my biology I think. I have noticed that post-postnatal changes have occurred and one thing that has happened is changing in my periods which has impacted me emotionally each month when I have my period.

I feel like it is a battle mentally. I am washed with dread a few days before my period arrives. I am terrified and on edge. I feel like I am literally on eggshells, I break down at the slightest thing. I feel fragile and terrified.

 My adrenalin is so high and I can't sleep which doesn't add to the mix because we all know lack of sleep can cause you to be irritable.

I am raging and want someone to give me concrete answers to such grey questions. I feel like I will always be like this and I get so angry because I want to run away from myself but I am stuck with me. 

I hate it and I get so jealous of the husband who is so carefree and relaxed. I hate anxiety, the way it torments me and makes my thoughts go into a fast racing mode. Why do I have to be like this, every fucking month?

 I hate it and I feel rubbish. I am non-stop shaking inside and out. I know the mood swings have gotten worse since I entered motherhood. Every month I am like this, there are times when I wish I could just rip out of my womb!

If the emotional side of having a period was enough to deal with there is the pain that comes along with it too and again it is considerably worse. Before my first pregnancy, I would suffer mild cramps that I could manage with some paracetamol.

 Now, I want to cry from the pain in my stomach. I feel like someone has punched me in the vagina and every time I have a poo it reminds me of being in labour and pushing out a baby. 

I can't lift my sons up as my back during the time of the month is so achy and feels like I have spent all day bending over when in reality I have done sod all.

I just needed to rant as I have had these for years and it sucks being female sometimes.

Have you experienced differences after giving birth in terms of changes associated with your period? Love to hear your thoughts in the comment section down below.

Cheers for reading X

Why social media is good.

Hey readers,

We all get bogged down in the negative side of social media. So lets for today celebrate all the good aspects of social media because I am a firm believer that there is bad and good in everything if you look close enough.

The internet is a good way to express yourself. I know for me I find verbal communication really, really difficult due to being autistic. Therefore, writing things down on my blog has really helped and it is a therapeutic process in getting my thoughts in order. 

There is also a great autistic community on twitter for example where you can openly discuss topics, it is great to get responses back. It can help other people understand you and help get more personal awareness out on specific topics.

As a parent and someone who struggles with mental health, loneliness is a feeling that has occurred over the years. I find the internet fantastic to connect with other similar people, whether it be through blogging, reading other people's experience, tweeting or even discussing worries/feelings in forums.

 Also,the internet can be a useful way to distract yourself from focusing on negativity. It really has helped me get out of that funk.

The internet can be used to speak to people far away or even close which is vital in helping with mental health. An example of this would be the current situation we are dealing with regarding coronavirus and social distancing. Using communicational platforms such as Facebook messenger and WhatsApp helps us connect to people where otherwise it is difficult. Not to mention it is much cheaper compared to phoning someone up. 

The internet is a splendid place if you want to get lost. With so much information out there, it is great to enhance your learning. You can even find scholarly type materials on google or good old YouTube.

The internet is definitely one way to get free entertainment and to do stuff without breaking the bank balance.  There is so many options, some examples are; watching YouTube videos, listening to radio, using social media and evening writing blogs ;)

If we look at recent events from this year especially in politics it demonstrates that the internet has a powerful voice. The cyber-world can influence for the good and make positive changes.

 A example of this would be with the way the internet has evolved politics with such matters of politicians being more transparency, though it is a slow process, it is something that is being taken seriously, especially with the way that majority of people get their information from the internet. 

Gone were the days when it was a two leadership battle, with having the internet it opens doors for more choice. Therefore, politicians have to work harder to get them likes and ultimately the power to change the lives of the ordinary public.

The internet is a great source of information where you can educate on all sorts of stuff. Whether be learning a new skill or finding some information for your child's homework there is a wealth of knowledge on the net that can be beneficial with helping your learn. 

What positives do you find in social media? Love to hear your comments in the comment section below.

Cheers for reading X

my Sunday photo 24/05/2020

24 gradiutation quotes to get you inspired!

Hey readers, 

It soon is coming to the end of the university year and final year students will be successful in completing their degree. 

Now due to the Coronavirus, a lot of summer graduations are cancelled for obvious reasons. However, you can still celebrate with a few celebration words on a card or photo on Instagram.

Sometimes it is hard to find the words but a good quote always goes down well. So, here are 24 graduation quotes to inspire you to celebrate the success of completing a degree or someone else achieving getting a degree. 

       1. “Do all the other things, the ambitious things—travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes…but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness.” - George Saunders.

2. “There is nothing more beautiful than finding your course as you believe you bob aimlessly in the current. Wouldn’t you know that your path was there all along, waiting for you to knock, waiting for you to become? This path does not belong to your parents, your teachers, your leaders, or your lovers. Your path is your character defining itself more and more every day like a photograph coming into focus.” - Jodie Foster.

3. “You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world.” - Tom Brokaw.

4. “Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive: easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.”- Henry Peter Brougham. 

5. “What we learn with pleasure we never forget.”- Alfred Mercier.

6. “Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honours!” - Louisa May Alcott.

7. “Instruction ends in the schoolroom, but education ends only with life.” - Frederick W. Robertson.

8. “An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”- Benjamin Franklin.

9. “Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” - Les Brown.

10. “Your life is your story, and the adventure ahead of you is the journey to fulfil your own purpose and potential.”- Kerry Washington.

11. “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Gandhi.

12. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” -Will Rogers.

13.  My favourite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out. There are going to be times in your life when you’re going to have to stick your neck out. There will be challenges and instead of hiding in a shell, you have to go out and meet them.” - Ruth Westheimer.

14. "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go."- Dr. Seuss.

15.  List your strengths and don't be shy. Celebrate the things you do well. Trust your decisions. Take action. - Erica Hudson.

16.  You are graduating, but don't think school is over, the school of life is just beginning. Keep learning! - Catherine Pulsifer.

17. Don't make excuses, don't blame the past. The rest of your life can be the best of your life! - Joel Osteen.

18. "Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference." - Arie Pencovici.

19.  "Never doubt you were born to do great things!" - Catherine Pulsifer.

20. "The secret of unleashing your true power is setting goals that are exciting enough that they truly inspire your creativity and ignite your passion." - Anthony Robbins.

21. "Make each day your masterpiece." - John Wooden.

22.  "Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience." - Paulo Coelho. 

23. "If we all did the things that we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." - Thomas Edison.

24.  "You'll never achieve real success unless you like what you're doing." - Dale Carnegie.

Cheers for reading X