Sunday 6 October 2019

Ongoing minefield of parenting

Hey readers,

Sometimes I lie in my bed at four in the morning and I am just staring at the ceiling and my tummy is filled with dread. My thoughts are filled with fear and I wonder how I am going to get through another day as a parent.




I don't feel confident at all and I am always questioning everything. Sometimes, I get annoyed with my husband, how he could allow me to be a parent when I am totally useless. I am always tired and things seem to take a long time to master. I seem to make the same mistakes over and over again.
I am now sitting in my son's assembly hall waiting and feeling yet again that familiar feeling of being a true outcast or black sheep. This feeling is not new to me, it comes frequently where I feel like I am an outsider looking through the glass where I just can't reach through. It feels so close yet so far away.

There are other times when I get jealous of my husband, he can just get things and communicate really well. I am sitting back permanently struggling and my tummy is in knots with anxiety. 

He does try to understand my neurosis bless him but he is the complete opposite of me. I watch on as he mingles and just gets these social rules that I seem to get muddled and fail all the time. I just get things, or I am just an anxious state of a person. 

That is one good thing about summer holidays even though I am dealing with the change but not having to think. I over-analysis I know but at least it gives me a break where I don't have to feel completely sh*t again. I know I will never be one of them, good parents that I so desperately want to be, I mess up it is a natural talent of mine. I just get so fed up with it all and after takes its time.

 It hurts deep and it so damn frustrating. It is a minefield and just getting through the day is a challenge in its self. The thoughts that trigger me are so strong, they keep me awake and let me every time my downfalls. I just need to a breather, time away and not to think that would be totally blissful.

I remember when I was pregnant dreaming of being this type of parent that would swim into motherhood like flies to poo. Sadly, it hasn't happened, to delusion, I am nothing that I expected. I thought I would be good at communicating because I was living this role as a mother that it would all somehow come to a place.

 That I would have this maternal instinct. The only thing that I am good at it appears to be is hanging up the washing and creating random fun stories for my boy. It is not much, I am never good at small talk but I take it now and I got to learn to accept the situation for what it is.

Cheers for reading X

Win a AirPure Scented Candle Advent Calendar. **AD**

Hey readers,

The nights are drawing in and now is no better time to get snuggly at home away from the wet and cold outdoors.

 I can't help myself in creating a relaxed ambiance espeically after a long tiring day of parenting with a candle and the days are getting darker. 


Candles are a great way to indulge in a bit of me time and they can really help settle you and make you feel chilled without actually participating in much, such as the power of smell. 


So, how about getting your hands on an AirPure scented advent calendar? Now it is your chance to enter a competition because let's face it Who doesn't like free stuff?

 Well, you could be in a chance of winning a free AirPure scented candle advent calendar just in time for the lead up to Christmas. 

All you need to do is head over to WowFreeStuff website to enter this smellarific competition as they are giving away 1 of 50 AirPure Scent advent calenders. All you have to do is fill in the form and enter...boom!

The AirPure scented advent calendar allows you to enjoy a relaxing lead up to Christmas by giving you 23 Tea Light Candles in These Festive Fragrances: apple cinnamon, mulled wine, festive vanilla, Christmas greetings and silent night. Finally, the piece de resistance for Christmas Eve is a votive candle in the scent of silent night.


Don't forget to read the terms and conditions below. Good luck and Merry Christmas!

Terms and Conditions 

> This competition ends on the 1st of December 2019.

> By entering you agree to sign up to WOW FreeStuff Newsletter.

> Must be over 18 and based in the UK.
> By entering you agree to WowFreeStuff’s Privacy Policy, Terms & Conditions and to receive our daily freebie newsletter.

Cheers for reading. X

This is an ad for WowFreeStuff. All opinions expressed are entirely my own. 

My Sunday photo 06/10/2019



My youngest loves building towers ☺ 

Thursday 3 October 2019

Nothing to you

I see you,
Looking at me,
Not knowing how
To work me out.
Again I end up
Nothing,
insignificant. 
I go back to hating
myself. 
I go lower,
Hating me,
Dreading, 
Feeling sick. 
I am nothing, 
Less value, 
No one wants.

8 Ways to save money this autumn.

Hey readers,

As we are now in autumn and it won't be long before Christmas you may be thinking of ways to save money. 

 Well, I have complied with 8 ways to save money during autumn. Let's go...



1. Pumpkin items. 

In the UK over recent years the sense and flavour of pumpkin spice has gotten very popular. You can be sure to find pumpkin flavoured pastries, coffees, hand wash, and candles to name a few. 

Everywhere you turn it feels like something has pumpkin in it. The thing with pumpkin spice being a hype is that it has risen the cost of products to premium prices. Therefore meaning you will have to pay more because it is in-demand what with the influence social media has. 

You don't need everything in pumpkin spice, your world won't stop just be sensible with your consumption and remember don't be fooled by social media who want you to buy pumpkin spice.  

2. Seasonal foods. 

Buying seasonal food can save you money because food that is produced closer to home is cheaper because it cost less to produce and transport to the supermarket. 

Keep on track of what fruit and vegetables are in season as it is normally cheaper compared to out of season foods. 

3. Do I need that?
When shopping it can be easy to impulsively and buy stuff that you may deep down not need. 

A tip I love and use often is asking yourself do I really need that? Once you use this it does get easy and it is amazing how much you don't actually buy because you really think about whether you need something or not. 

4. Christmas shopping.

I know it is not Christmas yet but it is a good time to start Christmas shopping. There are a lot of deals slowly coming out such as Tesco toys half-price sale and B & M sale where you can buy x2 toys for £16. So now is the grab a good deal. 

5. Review your energy bill. 

Now is the time to check if you are paying the right amount on your energy bill. Have a check around to see what company has the best deal. During the colder period, energy companies known for at times to raise their prices due to the high demand. 

6. Cancel gym membership. 

You don't have to be at the gym to get fit, you can go autumn walks or do exercise at home. You will save so much when your not tied down to a gym.

7. Autumn sales. 

Autumn sales are the best time to get stuff for a good price. Remember though don't buy if you don't need it. 

8. Draught proofing.

Autumn is the time to make sure that your home is draught-proof as this can keep your home warm and also save money on your energy bill.

 All you need to for a simple effective way is to get draught strip and place it in the gap between the window/door and opening so it is sealed to stop any draught coming through. 

 It has been said that if you draught-proof your doors and windows you can save £20 a year. 

Another tip is to have thick curtains to keep the warmth in as well. 

There is also the option of buying draught excluders where you simply put at the bottom of the door to stop the draught coming into the room. 

What way do you like to save money during the autumn season? I love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below. 

Cheers for reading X 

Wednesday 2 October 2019

Wordless Wednesday 02/10/2019


Sunday 29 September 2019

How to cope with insomnia.

Hey readers,

I have suffered from insomnia on and off my life to have had some ways that have really helped me and I thought I would share with you. You may find them helpful, obviously, everyone is different.


Caffeine.

One of the most obvious things to do is cut back on caffeine as that is a stimulant and that will keep you more alert. I recommend not having things like tea or coffee an hour before you go to bed as this can help slow down the mind and help you get you in a relaxed mood.

Cold bedroom.

A cold bedroom is recommended as your body needs to drop below your core temperature to help initiate sleep. It is much easier to get to sleep when it is cooler because your body eventually will warm up. I have always found this really helpful to do. I sometimes open the window half an hour before to get that breeze going through.

Write down how you are feeling.

With insomnia, there could be a psychological reason why you are struggling to sleep. I find writing down your thoughts in a constructive way to help as writing it down is concrete rather than festering and going round and round in your brain. When you wrote down I feel a release and it really does help reduce anxiety, I might not have a cure but seeing it on paper makes me feel less stressed.

Watch something relaxing.

I find if I watch something serious or scary then that can trigger thoughts and cause me to have a restless sleep. I now much prefer to watch something light-hearted and preferably something to do with comedy as laughing is good for the soul and it helps you relax too.

Electronics.

Leave your electronics in another room because they are a devil a keeping you wide awake and alert. Plus it is difficult especially late at night on eBay *ahem*. It is better to read a book in bed if you feel the need to do something (not an e-reader).

Bath.

Having a soak in the bath is a good way to relax and get you in a sleepy frame of mind. It allows you to soak your muscles.

Exercise

Doing exercise is a great way of getting rid of any frustration and can help make you feel sleepy by all the physical working out you do.

Avoid naps.

Now having naps during the day is glorious. However, if it becomes a habit then it can really affect your sleeping pattern and could stop you from drifting off easy when it comes to bedtime. It is best if you can avoid naps as it really makes you want to sleep when it comes round to going to bed.

Get up.

if you can't sleep get up because there is no point just lying around waiting to go back to sleep when we all know it is not going to happen. It is more practical to come back to bed when you are feeling more sleepy. They do stay clear of the electronic devices.

Doctors.

Now if you feel that you do have a long-term problem and it is affecting your life then your best option is to go to speak to the doctors as they are the professionals and they can help you on a medical term.

Cheers for reading X