Sunday 18 November 2018

Emotional

Hey readers,

This week has been

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Because I have had a nasty cold and cough and that allows makes you feel ugh. 

I just haven't got the energy and there is always something you need to be doing. I did manage to go on a family walk on Saturday with the family, which I really enjoyed. 

I am glad I pushed myself to go out as I really didn't want to. The fresh air and taking photographs are two of my favourite things to do, so doing that really helped lift my mood.

I have also been on my period this week as ladies we all know what a pain and emotional wreck that can be. My anxiety is through the roof because of it. At least it is done now for another month, silver linings and all that.

I hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday 11 November 2018

My Sunday Photo 11/11/2018

Friday 9 November 2018

Hey readers,

My word is:



I don't know why but every year I get worked up about Christmas and I have to get all the presents sorted out. I tend to get very stressed because it is a chance and that stresses me out.

It doesn't help that things have gone wrong and you need to find the money to replace them, sod's law and all that. I wish I had savings but too poor for that. So, you worry about it all. Anyhow that has been sorted and is a huge relief. But the other night I spend writing and rewriting lists as it calms me. I just go into panic mode because I gotta kind of thing outside of the box and try to budget. 

I think because everywhere Christmas is being pushed now after Halloween has been done and dusted. anyhow, I got it all planned and feel back in control.
Cheers for reading X

Friday 2 November 2018

Restore

Hey readers,

My word or the week is:


as it is the return school and the non-stop letters and now double the number of letters I receive as I have two kids that go to school now.

Of course, I had to mention Halloween. We decorated the home and looks awesome. Both boys went to a Halloween party and loved every minute of it especially when they had to try and eat a doughnut hanging up.

 They got suited and booted as well with their outfits - a witch and a Skelton. There was a disco and my eldest has really gotten into recently dancing so definitely in his element with that.

I am loving the early dark nights. I just feel more relaxed maybe because there are fewer people knocking around haha. I was also impressed with how well the boys managed with the clocks going back.

Cheers for Reading X

Friday 26 October 2018

Lovely

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

Lovely word of the week

This week has been fun having not the stress of raving our in the morning and relaxing. We went out for the day to Birmingham National sea life centre which the boys loved seeing all the fishes and penguins. Hubby and I were really impressed with how well the day turned out with no meltdowns which are a refreshing change.

We also had picnics and spent time outdoors in parks this week as we could be more flexible with time therefore not having to stress about time and have options to go to different places.

Overall this week has been lovely for my boys and myself as we have all really benefited from some downtime. Although not shew the will be happy next week with being introduced with the getting up early in the morning.

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Tuesday 23 October 2018

What now.


I'm frustrated,
angry l,
and not in control.
the dread keeps me awake.
my eyes pinged,
on edge, I stay,
not knowing
but just waiting.

Friday 19 October 2018

More harm then good.

There are times when I want to walk out the door, run away and vanish.
I don't have the strength and it hurts is not good enough.
I suck at living and sometimes I don't want to be here.
I want to hide away somewhere dark,
 quiet where no one can reach me.
It feels like an ongoing battle which constantly I need to fight.
It tires me out and I feel so alone and feel like I the only one.
This is my reality I have to live day in day out and it is exhausting.
Sometimes, I just want to die because I cause more harm than good.

Frustrated

Hey readers

My word of the week is:



I just had one of them weeks when things have been testing me and make me think what is the whole point of it all really.

I went the other day to a place further afield from where I live so had to get the bus which is stressful for me in its self. When I get to the place this was on a Wednesday morning post 9 am and oh my gosh the place was heaving full of oaps. 

I am not used to this environment so really struggled to navigate and manage the noise.  Typical I picked the busiest day of the week. 

Then I go do a bit shopping for odds and sods and then get to the till and find I have not got my bank card it is at home. I then panic at the to and have a panic attack. So that was frustrating because it took time to go there and come back.

The next thing that annoyed me was instructions and people making them clear meaning that was is expected is not being reached.

Anyway, it's a half-term holiday so we can have a jolly good rest from it all.

I hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Friday 12 October 2018

Tiring!

Hey readers,

My word of the week is :


This is because my eldest has been really pushing mine and my husband's buttons. 

Something about the weekend and he goes ballistic and one of the reasons could be that he has been suppressing a lot of how he feels from school. 

He mentioned early this week that he had a headache all the time from the top down to the bottom of his head. He said he feels scared all the time and I think it is down to anxiety that is causing it. Not sure if he is saying that because at the moment his emotions are high or if this is actually 100 % true. 

Of course, the school are pretty useless and any time they see my son after school have a meltdown they turn the other way because they don't want to acknowledge it because let's face it getting help = money.

Anyhow enough politics there I had my flu jab this week and my arm has a cracking brush, fingers crossed it protects me through the winter.
Hope hope you have had a good week.

cheers for reading X

Rollercoster

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:



because my emotions have been very up-down. I have felt frustrated with the school regarding my son and feeling like I am fighting a battle. I have been struggling with depression (but won't depress you with that).

 I have also had some happy moments because depression is not always a straight line and mental health is very messy.

I was proud of my son this week as he received marvellous reader award from school. He hadn't needed to be asked to read this week because he has been really loving Roald Dhal Revolting rhymes, he was hooked. I also dug out Dirty Beasts by Roald Dhal this week and he was hooked. He loves the funny dark side of tales, which is a very good choice in my opinion....lol.

Also, this week I and hubby had a checky date night during a school night, haha. We went to see Simon Evans at Loughborough. It was a good night and just h tonic needed for both of us.
Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday 7 October 2018

My Sunsay Photo 07/10/2018

Sunday 30 September 2018

Review of the Biscuit Baron *AD*

Hey readers,

ADVERTORIAL.

There are so many different subscriptions to chose from if want to see something exciting in the post every month. However, have you heard of The Biscuit Baron, well if not let me tell you it is something little bit different.

The biscuit Baron is a subscription box that provides biscuits from different countries every month. The company knows that biscuits are a love for British people and they want to explore further with how different countries like their biscuits.

What does the subscription box contain?

* 5-8 full-size packets of biscuits (with one savoury option included).

* A score chart to rate each biscuit on a scale from 1-10, a great activity to do with family or friends.

* A fact sheet with information from the country and a little bit of history.

Pricing.

There are several opinions you can just from a one-off plan with no renewal to 1,3,6 or 12-month subscription plan. Subscription boxes start from £15 per box, coming down to £13.33 for long-term plans and that includes the delivery in that price as well.

My verdict.

At first, I thought it was a bit expensive but then I thought of other subscription boxes and what you get in them (some of the miniature items) this was good value. I received five items and them full size as well so I thought it was a great way to try out new foods from different countries with a twist.

I like the fact that you get some new information from the country and I really had great fun scoring the biscuits on the chart with the family.

I liked the different varieties so you got a mix including savoury. My children got to try something new and learn something about the country of Italia.

They would make a fun Christmas present and something different for someone to try.

This is what the box looks like with all the items included in the Italian box.

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Ringo Cookies.

A cookie that is a two-toned biscuit with a creamy filling that is packed full of energy but not too heavy. Brilliant texture for dunking and would make a great afternoon snack after school.

 
Testing out the duckability and get 100% Perfetto!

Tenerezze.
I think these biscuits were popular, the taste was beautiful with the lemon flavour and the texture was soft and crumbly, beautiful!

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Biscuit galore!

Pan Di Stelle.

These biscuits are a cute design. Pan Di Stelle translates to Starry Bread. They go really well with a glass of milk because they taste of cocoa and hazelnut and a chocolate pastry.


Milllefoglie.

Millefoglie is a multilayered pastry with a sweet topping, funny enough it works really well dunking in a glass of milk and when dunked keeps the firmness without breaking apart.


Taralli Pizza Style.

These are the savoury item. They are small ring-shaped products with twisted ends typical for the southern regions.

 They had a lovely herby flavour though for me personally a bit too salty for my tastes. That being said my boys absolutely loved them.


Amaretti.

These biscuits are beautiful in flavour with the almond and have a lovely firm texture to them. They go perfectly with a perfect with a coffee.


Finally here is what the rating card for the biscuits below.

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Cheers for reading X

I have gifted a subscription box in exchange for a review. However, all opinions expressed are entirely my own

My Sunday Photo 30/09/2018

Sunday 23 September 2018

My Sunday photo 23/09/2018

Sunday 16 September 2018

My Sunday Photo 16/09/2018

Thursday 13 September 2018

Adjusting

Hey readers,

My word of the week is


because my youngest has started full days at school this week and to say he is tired after school is an understatement. 

I was ambitious one day this week and took him to the library after school thinking he might enjoy it. Turns out nothing but winching and eventually a full down meltdown, joy I certainly learned from that experience. He is defiantly not used to full days like he does now.

I have been to the dentist which I hate but I had to have a filling which sucks, but it is done now. My dentist is social as well when he has fingers in my mouth, why. I can't answer him coherently.
I have been loving also the darker nights. It feels so much cosy to sit and wrap up with a throw.
I hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X



Sunday 9 September 2018

Proud

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


This is because my youngest has coped so well with starting school and he's even got, special person. This is where two people in the class are a special person of the day and are chosen for good behaviour. 

Funny enough on the same day my eldest also got a special person of the day so they both met each other when they handed the registration as that is their job to do.

My youngest has now started to bring books home which I know he will absolutely love because he loves reading so much. I love reading to them as well because it's a way for me to connect. I'm not always good with social and play so reading gives me that change to connect with my children.

However, my eldest seems to be having problems with sleep again which I think it's to do with anxiety. Therefore it is all fun and games when you got two ratty children to deal with. Hopefully, it is just a phase and my eldest sleep pattern will return back to normal.

cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 09/09/2018

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Thursday 6 September 2018

School

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

This is because it is the return of school and my eldest is going into Year 2 and my youngest started reception.
My youngest was super excited to start school and he absolutely loves it. Although he's only been doing half days this week until next week and it will be the whole day.
I think one of the reasons why my youngest is so excited because he just loves to be just like his eldest brother. I am pleased to report that he has adapted well and we've had no tears which are really good.
For me, it's slightly strange as it's so quiet but it is nice to go back to the routine and get things done without having children to entertain. I am amazed at how much easy is to do chores without children about and getting them done in half the time.
I'm not used to the alarm clocks mind and getting up so early so we will slightly tired by the end of the week.
Hope you have had a good week

Cheers for reading X

Sunday 2 September 2018

My Sunday Photo 02/09/2018

Thursday 30 August 2018

Mental

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

because we have crammed so much in for the last week. We started with going on a day out on the Severn Valley stream train followed by fish and chips, perfect!
We then needed to sort out buying uniform for my youngest who will be started reception on Monday, eek. What a drag it was to get a uniform mind. We had to go to several different supermarkets to get all the bits and bobs. That was not fun and then we still ended up ordering online anyway. I am glad that it is all done now.
Still, not all doom and gloom we did treat the boys after weeks of begging from the youngest we took the boys to see The Incredibles 2. It is a brilliant film and was not disappointed, because I thought being the second one might be a bit rubbish but no was a bit disappointed.
Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday 26 August 2018

My Sunday Photo 26/08/2018

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Friday 24 August 2018

Wales

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


This is because we have been to Wales for a few days this week to see my husband relatives and a little mini-break as well.

I am so glad a few days off normal life because I just felt a bit monotonous.

We have visited the beach, which nothing beats good old fresh sea air. Lovely walks around the Welsh countryside and just a general change of scenery.

 The boys have loved going away and to them, it feels like an adventure. Seeing new things and doing something different is always fun for my boys.

We went to visit a copper mine so that was a something different and a good experience to see how things have changed over time.

Let's not forget to mention my boys love of getting to stay for at a Premier Inn which to them is the ultimate treat.

Hope you have had a good week.

cheers for reading X

Thursday 16 August 2018

Organised

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:
Because that is how I have been feeling. It has been a productive week with getting things up on eBay. Which is easy but finding the time and energy to it is a totally different game.
It feels good to start getting on top of all the stuff, the boys have moved into a normal bed so need to sell their cot bed, end of an era. but so good to have a clear space and have more room for them to play. I can confirm they have which been thoroughly been enjoying.
It is so good to have a cooler week but we still got a couple of picnics in. so, much more enjoyable when you are not sweating and feeling uncomfortable. Everyone is less frustrated and ratty which is a breath of fresh air *excuse the pub*.
hope you have had a good week.

cheers for reading X

Sunday 12 August 2018

My Sunday Photo 12/08/2018

Thursday 9 August 2018

Routine

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:
This week I have felt settled. It normally accrues during this time during the summer holiday when I have got used to the new routine. The boys have been a lot calmer this week too and we have restored normal service.


The eldest is super happy as he is now entered stage 5 of swimming and now he can be at the same level as his friend.

On Saturday my husband had a Beaver day at the local scouts and he got invested so now is an officially a beaver leader. I placed a bet that he would be the end of the year and guess what? I was right haha. The boys also enjoyed the Bbq and bouncy castle.

We have also been taking part in the summer challenge at the local library which has helped encourage my son to read.
So overall a rather pleasant week has been had.
I hope to have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Thursday 2 August 2018

Peaceful

Hey readers,

This week my word of the week is:


As I haven't done a lot but it is just wan I needed for me to rest as I was totally exhausted mentally and physically. 

I have been to the park, scooting and checking out museums close by home. It has been pleasant and I have just rested which I believe has helped my soul. I think I just needed time to shut down.

 I have to take it slow, which I have been doing with pottered about, reading and just generally taking it easy.

Also, the boys have been kept busy with accessing free swimming lessons (they also have their normal ones) so that is one of knackering them out, #mumhack.

My eldest has also gone to the occupational therapist to help with hand control. We have had issues as he is left-handed but won't write with his left hand. 

This is because he believes that because I am autistic and left-handed that will mean he will be the same. I try to tell him that really doesn't matter what hand you write with there will always be autistics who either write in their left or right hand. It has been a struggle so hope these sessions will help.

Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Tuesday 31 July 2018

I am a slug!

Hey readers,

I promised to write more positive posts but then I would not be true to myself. I don't want to give the impression my life is all lovely and full of flowers when really it can be pretty crap being autistic and trying to cope.

DSC_0622.JPG My brain is dead!

One of the things I seem to struggle is finding my mojo....whereever you are please come back soon, I miss the buzz of the get-up and go!

I feel meh....I know it is only a feeling and that too shall pass. But right now it is hard work to get up and go. I wish I had motivation but having quite an emotional week with downers and feeling well suicidal at one point. 

I kept thinking life would be much better if I wasn't here, I f*ck up too much. Don't worry it was a brief moment when I was right down low and I wanted me to take me.

 I am still here fighting. I am always fighting and you know what it is bloody tiring. I have to battle my thoughts and try to get on with it and during the summer holiday, it is more intense.

I am sure I will feel better soon, emotions are exhausting and you need time to heal. I sure do, I am exhausting, I just want to stop thinking for a bit. I am constantly planning and preparing because if I don't then I stumble, badly. 

Communication, as I have said previously in posts, is something I struggle with, even if it is with people I know. I tend to have a catalogue or format in my head on how to speak. 

Sometimes, I am too exhausted. You could call me anti-social - which would be true. However, space is a big thing for me, I am an introvert by heart and I have come to accept that. I need calm and quiet to move forward.
I suppose writing this out, it has helped clear my thoughts and made me realise that the one thing I need is rest. I need time to heal. It is important to me and it will help greatly.

  I used to be embarrassed by the fact that the social aspect of life makes me so tired and frequently need that rest. 

I think because of a lot of mental energy and that soon saps away especially if I am working harder as I don't have the correct natural skills to do the communicating so many people so automatic and they don't have to even think about.

Sometimes, we have to stop and have a break. It just feels that everywhere there is this notion that you have to be on the go 24-7 but that isn't the case? 

I suppose that is why the slow movement has been come popular and a lot of people like myself are getting tired of this fast pace called life.

I think one of the hardest things for me as an autistic is to accept that some things will always be a struggle and that they do tire me.

 I need to learn to rest and not see myself as a failure because of this. I am sure people don't look at people with a broken leg or whatever and view them as not thriving. 

I just have to work around my limitations and do what can do. At least I can say I have tried.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday 29 July 2018

My Sunday Photo 29/07/2018

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Thursday 26 July 2018

Change

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


First of to kick start the summer hols on day son decides to run in the kitchen with the tablet and accidentally drop it on the floor. Restyling in leaving a wonderful massive crack on the tablet, excellent stuff.

We decided to try out the camping for one night this week and sadly I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't cope with the whole situation due to my autism. SO now I feel pretty crappy about myself about the whole situation that I am not good parent again because I cannot do what normal people do. 

I had a meltdown because of all the stresses and I worry that my husband thinks I'm a right diva but I'm not I just can't cope with the situation. I am useless with change and dealing with new environments especially when it involves waiting around. It just a big massive trigger for me.


Cheers for reading X

Thursday 19 July 2018

End

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:


because it is finally the end of the summer term and glad for a break because both I and the boys are shattered. why is it at the end of the year I just feel washed out.

Hubby has benefits sorting out camping as we are doing it again this year. I struggle with spending days away with my autism so we are going to have to small holidays in the UK, making it more manageable for me and my health. I am blessed that my eldest is so understanding with me and how I am.

I can not believe also that now both my boys will be going to school in September, eek! Also means having to pay for two sets of school shoes, joy!

Husband has been helping at my son's beaver class and he is now an official leader. I predicted he would by the end of the year, I love it when. I am right haha.


Cheers for reading X

Friday 13 July 2018

Singing.

Hey readers,

my word of the week is:


This is because my son has spent a large proportion of his time at school and home practising for his singing performance at school on Wednesday.

Due to his autism, his anxiety was through the roof so we have been finding ways to calm that done. He loves the singing element.

Thank goodness for YouTube for where he can listen to the song and practice at home
.
In other good news, he went to London on a school day trips and loved it. ever since he was younger he has been obsessed with London.

DS1 also receded his star of the week for reflecting and looking back on how much he has improved over the school year.

DS2 had started his swimming lessons this week and it has really helped him with his confidence. He also went to his second induction for his new school which he is super excited when using his nursery friend that he plays with all the time is going to be in the same class.

I have been enjoying the cooler end of the week and to be finally getting to sleep at night after it being so muggy at the start.

Cheers for reading X

Sunday 8 July 2018

My Sunday Photo 08/07/2018

Thursday 5 July 2018

Events

Hey readers,

This weeks word of the week is


because there has been so much on. First, my eldest had his sports day. Was really pleased that he is learning to not get bogged down with the whole winning but focusing on just enjoying the sports.

My youngest had his first taster session at school this week and he loved it. He loved all the activities and just being in the same school as his big brother. Both boys were happy to find that the youngest is going to be in the same reception class that the eldest when he first started. Simple pleasures eh when you are young.

In other news, my eldest had his school parents review to see how he has been getting on during the summer term. He has been meeting his targets which is good because we were worried. 

When my ds1 comes how he frequently says that he gets zero for his spelling at least we know now that not to be the case and he is doing alright. The way his anxiety was really got us worried. So that gave us some reassurance.


Cheers for reading X

Sunday 1 July 2018

My Sunday Photo 01/07/2018

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Thursday 28 June 2018

Summer

Hey, readers,

my word of the week is:


because it is now officially summer and boy does the weather let us know. This weekend has been busy with clubs and kids parties, my eldest has been super exhausted during the week due to hectic weekend shenanigans.

DS1 also got to see his school artwork on display in a local public venue last night and he was super chuffed that he got his work chosen for it. Not just that but this week at beavers he got his gardening badge, which he loves because the design on it involves a watering can.

DS2 has been enjoying nursery with seeing the dentist giving our information and an exciting visit from the fire engine. He has been so chatty now to everyone so it is lovely to see his confidence grow. He will soon be leaving nursery next month and start school in September with his brother.


Cheers for reading X

Sunday 24 June 2018

My Sunday Photo 24/06/2018

The boy loves Tigger. He cuddles Tigger at night. He was blown away when he saw this massive Tigger in a charity shop!

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Wednesday 20 June 2018

Wordless Wednesday

Sunday 17 June 2018

My Sunday Photo 17/06/2018

Thursday 14 June 2018

changes to life

Hey readers,

In less than, a few days both my boys will have broken up from Nursery and school, which means its official summer holiday. That is right peeps six whole weeks, argh.

As much as I love my little darlings and spending time with them, they can be a right royal pain, I think the most annoying thing is the constant bickering and it can get relentless. So, I have come up with some tips on how not to lose your sh*t during the summer holidays.

Firstly, remember that as adults it is still ok to have time out, actually, I would put it up there as essential basic needs for a parent ;) I often have to have five minutes or else my head would explode into tiny pieces.

Get out even if it is to the park every single day it will save not only your sanity but your children.
Sit on a wall someone suitable and play car game - 5 points if you can spot a red/blue/green whatever is a great game to do outdoors and again it gets you outside.

As you know I am a massive fan of the library/museum or free places they bring so much joy to my heart. They are also a frigging lifesaver when you are skint and check out your local community service as they have free events for kids during the summer.

Don't feel guilty if you have the TV on. I have the motto as a parent whatever helps you get through the day, obviously, I would crack but TV is a real lifesaver in parents hour of need. Remember it is a holiday, don't feel you have to constantly be doing something with your child. Sometimes, you have to say now go and play or watch something. 

It promotes independent thinking and ever since the day I stopped the guilt of feeling I needed to entertain children it got a hell of a lot better for everyone. Also, can I mention with time they did actually learn their own thing which is brilliant?

Sunday 10 June 2018

My Sunday Photo 10/06/2018

Sunday 3 June 2018

My Sunday Photo 03/06/2018