My Sunday Photo 27/05/2018

Hey readers,

Today I feel a bit lonely, though not in the sense where I want to mingle with people. More isolating, knowing that I am different and that sense of not being 'good enough'.

 Often I can ignore or distract myself from focusing on negativity. But today is a struggle. I just feel like I can not function like the rest of society. I feel my inadequacies.... they feel so loud in my head, they might not be real but they feel real to me and today it hurts.

I have always battled with being autisitic...it is tough going, after a tough long week of challenges with a little fight left it can defeat you. 

I think one of my problems so I am not often relaxed in situations such as having to go to the school assembly, this is where I feel most insecure. I don't feel right and I feel like everyone is watching me. 

I know I  am probably being narcissistic and changes are no one is, no one cares, hey even some may feel similar.

At the time it feels scary, and because my anxiety is on that super alert it is hard to come down without the good old meltdown. 

Yes to that question I did have an epic meltdown, it is all I could do. Then I took my laptop and wrote my thoughts. No real answers, it is merely a record of how I am feeling.

I feel not amazing but cathartic, now I am going off for a tea, cause let's face it, tea doesn't cure feeling crap but sure makes the painless hard to bear.

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 19/05/2018

My Sunday Photo 13/05/2018

My Sunday Photo 29/04/2018

My Sunday Photo 22/04/2018

My Sunday Photo 15/04/2018

My Sunday Photo 08/04/2018

My Sunday Photo 06/05/2018

Waes

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

This week we went to visit my husband's relatives in Wales. We spend a few days at Wales and even though the weather was a bit iffy, it was lovely to see a change of scenery.

We stayed in a Premier Inn and my boys are so excited, we have stayed in a fair few so they are used to them. They just get so excited and knowing they can have American pancakes for breakfast they were simply living their best life.

We went down a bit and it was really fun to explore and do something different. Plus, it was free and there was a museum as well, perfect for me, lol.

We went for walks in the countryside and it was lovely to be just in the open area and see nature. I love walking so it was lovely to have a wander with the boys.

Hope you have a had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 25/03/2018

End

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

because this week my son had the beaver toy to look after all week. Which was fun until we had to return him. My eldest doesn't like to return beaver. so, took a lot of persuasion and discussion about if he did have beaver all the time he would be bored. At least when he gets him again in the future he can be excited because it is different and fun.

I also went to a school meeting at school about ds1. He seems to be doing ok, we need to work on him learning that he can't win everything. He is not good at losing and gets very angry over it. So, we shall see how that turns out. It is something that is going to take time, like everything else.

Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

New

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

because my son this weekend went to his first-ever scout camp. We were a bit apprehensive as my son is autistic and we weren't sure how he would respond. 

Luckily my husband is a volunteer so he stays with him so he doesn't have a sudden breakdown. That helped a great deal. He did struggle in the evening and the following day. However hubby took him aside to talk it through.

The good news is he did enjoy the camp and he is really looking forward to the next one. However, Monday he was mentally drained from it, so we had to take it really slow with him. 

Still, for us it is positive he stuck it out and enjoyed himself.

He loved the food from camp as well, I can't believe how much he ate and even tried the jacket potato though previously he would be against it.

Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday photo 17/03/2018

My Sunday photo 11/03/2018

Cough.

Hey readers,

My word of the week is

because it has been coughing all round in my home and snot running down the face. I have struggled to function other than to think about sleep. 

Therefore, spending a lot for a time at home and not doing much. Which I don't mind as I am exhausted anyways!

In other news, the car's bumper needed changing as someone bumped into it by accident. So, that has taken some work, joy!

At least normal routine has resumed and though my youngest has had three days off from nursery due to a boiler breaking down, it feels good to be back to normal. It has been lovely also to see the sunshine.

Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

News

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

because previously I mentioned the battle that is personal independence payment and going through the appeal stage.

 It was extremely frustrating as I have scored zero points, therefore, I had to go for an appeal. Whilst waiting for all the information from the DWP regarding my application which takes roughly 28 days we had some really good news. 

We randomly received a big payment from the bank and we found out it was Pip. After a week we finally received a letter to confirm that we had been successfully awarded Pip there for not having to actually have to deal with going to court and appeal which is a massive relief for us.

Another highlight of the week is finally getting snow, the boys absolutely loved playing in the snow and watching the wind swirl the snow around.

My eldest got to dress up as The Flash his favourite character for World Book Day. Whereas my youngest, unfortunately, could not go into the nursery because the boiler in the nursery had broken down.

So overall a rather pleasant week and a sense of relief with the success of pip.

Hope you had a good week.

cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 25/02/2018

Relaxed

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

Sometimes, if I am honest I can get overwhelmed before the half term as the prospect of having two boisterous children during the holidays fills me with dread. However, I have to say it hasn't been too bad. The boys love playing together and not too many meltdowns. I have been relaxed and that makes a huge difference.

My eldest has made me his first ever cup of tea. He was so pleased because he has been so desperate to make me one. It was a lovely little surprise. Don't worry he didn't just do it himself but with assistance from his daddy. Then he was like I want to get a plain cup and he wanted to write with the sharpie pens 'I love mummy and daddy' and it was like an awwww moment, bless him!

Hope you have had a good week,

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 18/02/2018