My Sunday photo 17/03/2018

My Sunday photo 11/03/2018

Cough.

Hey readers,

My word of the week is

because it has been coughing all round in my home and snot running down the face. I have struggled to function other than to think about sleep. 

Therefore, spending a lot for a time at home and not doing much. Which I don't mind as I am exhausted anyways!

In other news, the car's bumper needed changing as someone bumped into it by accident. So, that has taken some work, joy!

At least normal routine has resumed and though my youngest has had three days off from nursery due to a boiler breaking down, it feels good to be back to normal. It has been lovely also to see the sunshine.

Hope you have had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

News

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

because previously I mentioned the battle that is personal independence payment and going through the appeal stage.

 It was extremely frustrating as I have scored zero points, therefore, I had to go for an appeal. Whilst waiting for all the information from the DWP regarding my application which takes roughly 28 days we had some really good news. 

We randomly received a big payment from the bank and we found out it was Pip. After a week we finally received a letter to confirm that we had been successfully awarded Pip there for not having to actually have to deal with going to court and appeal which is a massive relief for us.

Another highlight of the week is finally getting snow, the boys absolutely loved playing in the snow and watching the wind swirl the snow around.

My eldest got to dress up as The Flash his favourite character for World Book Day. Whereas my youngest, unfortunately, could not go into the nursery because the boiler in the nursery had broken down.

So overall a rather pleasant week and a sense of relief with the success of pip.

Hope you had a good week.

cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 25/02/2018

Relaxed

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

Sometimes, if I am honest I can get overwhelmed before the half term as the prospect of having two boisterous children during the holidays fills me with dread. However, I have to say it hasn't been too bad. The boys love playing together and not too many meltdowns. I have been relaxed and that makes a huge difference.

My eldest has made me his first ever cup of tea. He was so pleased because he has been so desperate to make me one. It was a lovely little surprise. Don't worry he didn't just do it himself but with assistance from his daddy. Then he was like I want to get a plain cup and he wanted to write with the sharpie pens 'I love mummy and daddy' and it was like an awwww moment, bless him!

Hope you have had a good week,

Cheers for reading X

My Sunday Photo 18/02/2018

Tired

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

Because I am trying to adjust to my medication that makes me feel pretty lousy a,s it has a massive side effect of drowsiness. I am working on a system that works best for me and my body. It is still under working progress! I am just glad I have my husband as my registered carer or else I would be royally screwed.

One major additional pressure is that it is half term and there is constant noise, so many things to do and trying to juggle them all is an act in itself. Don't get me wrong I do love having the boys around, it is just they have so much energy that it is exhausting to watch, haha!

Hope you have had a fab week!

Cheers for reading X

Adapting

Hey readers,
my word of the week is:

this is because I have changed my medication for anxiety and adjusting to that takes time. I need to accept that miracles don't happen in a day and the side effects will go with time.

Let's not forget that beautiful red sun on Monday, now feels like a distance away, haha!

Also, this week I went to my eldest parent evening, he seems absolutely fine with no concerns. He is the type of child to get on with learning and he especially enjoys findings out the way things work.

He did some yoga this term for three days a week before school started. I think he is a little sad that it has ended but happy knowing that after half term he will be starting Street dance.

Hope your week has been good.

Cheers for reading X

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

Because I am drained, I am really tired and my eldest is really testing me. Even my hubby who is rather chilled himself it is slowly getting to him too.

My eldest is getting more violent (hitting, scratching, biting) and having meltdowns episodically after school. I am trying to deal with my own issues relating to my autism, so trying to find that winning combination is bloody hard work.

I get 'advice' but it is exhausted to implement the long list of new things to incorporate. I just get fed up with these professionals dumping this advice on to you. You then got to remember all these new rules. 

Along with having to go for PIP assessment next week, my anxiety is really pushed. I just want that time to not have to think about how I am meant to perform and just be brain dead for a bit.

Cheers for reading X

Anti-SATS

Hey readers,

Today I just want to talk about the fact that I am against children doing exams in primary school. I don't see the point of it to cause that added stress for children. I think it is unhealthy especially when tests start at the age of 7, I mean come on really we need this.

I think schools focus too much on meeting targets for whose benefit?! Of course, the government to try and see if we get children to a certain level. But this is added pressure and stress for children, they spend enough time at school to then have to go home and do more homework.

Can you actually believe now there are SATS for children aged 7, I mean come on let kids be kids? I am not surprised kids get more anxious when they are being judged on their ability.

 We should let kids play instead of trying to push information down their throat. I believe children learn more through play than sitting there trying to recite facts. Ok, some thrive of this don't get me wrong but as a whole, I think it is wrong to test children at such an early age.

I want my child to have happy memories of going to primary school instead of thinking I didn't do so very well with the tests I have to do.

There is so much more pressure on teachers with how well they are regarded as a direct outcome of the performance of children doing exams. Teachers are under a lot of stress and I believe that stress not only placed on teachers but also some parents.

Since my son started school last year there is an assembly each week and each child gets a certificate for attending school, for being the best reader or for this and that. 

I think it is wrong because there are many other reasons why children aren't achieving or they are ill and they can come away feeling rubbish they didn't achieve what the other children did. My son didn't get a reward for sports day and he was really down. Ok, competitive good but I don't believe in social pressure to perform to a certain level.

I have, however, due to my autism felt the pressure to do certain tasks like reading. As there are no clear instructions I tend to try and get my child to read. There are times when he is not in a good place mentally to do this task. This type of pressure isn't good for the parent (me) or the child (my son). It can also cause friction in the relationship at such a young age.

Cheers for reading X

Day 3 #blogtober17 - car

Hey readers,

Today is day 3 of #blogtober and it is all about the car. Now, what can I tell you about a car, well for some they are the centre of the universe and it is all about looking lovely with shiny wheels. Whereas others it is a mode of transport that gets you from A to B.

 I am luckily in the fact that my other half can drive, though I have attempted many times in the past to learn but due to my social anxiety/autism, I breakdown when it comes to the test sadly or not. I seem to get more and more anxious about driving cars. 

I think because there seem to be more drivers about and some right arseholes who clearly are questionable ability to drive or their whole attitude in thinking they own the road. 

I don't like confrontation and it frightens me because of the past experiences and I get scared as let's face it cars are machines that can kill you.

That being said I would say that it has been really beneficial when I have been in really stressful situations and don't have the skills at the time to get home safely, that my husband can come and rescue me instead of me from having a major meltdown at that moment.

Cars do make life easier when there are children involved as it is calmer. It is less stressful (more so when they are young) to get to places and not have to deal with the filthy looks of others while your child is so tired they want the whole world to know about it.

 Not to mention saving your arms from burning with all the heavy shopping, though now it is much easier to use delivery services.

So, I suppose what I am trying to say is that cars have the good and the bad like anything but in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter as long as you are healthy and happy.

Cheers for reading X

Slippy Mess.

Why do I always slip up,

Every step I take,

I gravitate back,

It's hard to get out,

Of this slippery mess,

One day I may overcome.

Dates

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

because I seem to be trying to remember so many dates/ appointments. Then I have to try to remember all these names that my eldest keeps telling me out. no ever tells you when you are pregnant that you have to have a good memory.

My diary is so valuable to be right night if I didn't have that I would've gone crazy.

If the letters for things aren't enough at school it is the constant party invites, jee weez it is none stop-go.

Why is the week so long by but seem to go really fast, I cannot believe we are in October already. I wish people would stop talking about Christmas, I am pooing myself thinking about how I am going to pay for it. I don't need this stress in October.

Hope you have had a good week!

Cheers for reading X

Day 1 #Blogtober17 - All about you

Hey readers,

Today is the 1st October which means Blogtober17. This is the first year where I have decided to participate. 

I am going to follow the #Blogtober17 linky run by hexmumblog. Each day there is a set prompt and today it is all about you. I thought this be good to challenge me and take me out of my comfort zone. 

my name is Sam I am in my 30s and I live in Coventry in the West Midlands. I am married and have two young boys.     

   

I am Sam autistic and try my best with the difficulties I face with it impacting on parenting. I also have anxiety which impacts me every day.

 

I write a blog for the past three years and find it really beneficial to get my thoughts and it helps motivate me when I have no energy to do anything. I am not always good at verbal communication so it is my little place to express myself. 

With regards to my blog, I am not sure what box you would fit me in as I get bored and very easily distracted easily, oh look something glitter (jokes). I don't like the idea of saying I am a mummy blogger or lifestyle because I don't see myself like that. I write about whatever floats my boat that day. I would call myself an electric blogger, 😂 

I am a lover of trees and being outdoors. when I am stressed or need time to think I am outside taking photos.

I met my husband on the bus (true story) though didn't get together for a few years as we were friends, life is strange.

I take medication because I have insomnia and I am a little bit addicted to lists/order. 

Cheers for reading X 

Autumn

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

because it is now officially autumn and it really does feel like autumn. We even have rain and not just my order in but pour down rain which adds to the autumn feel.

I've been enjoying burning candles, getting cosy, drinking tea and watching crap on TV which literally is a perfect way to indulge on an Autumn evening.

I've also planned on some autumn activities for the boys because I enjoyed them but not too complicated because no one needs that stress do they!

I've also been loving taking photos of leaves falling, it's just so pretty with all the colours around.

Also, be dusting down my knitwear of course because of the temperature or lowering making it super-duper cosy. I love the fact that the air feels colder now I may be odd but I prefer the cold weather.

Cheers for reading X

Cold

Hey readers,

my word of the week is:

COLD

because I have had a right stinker of a cold. As I haven't had one for a while it really knocks you off your feet.

  I suppose it was bound to happen when your child returns to school and all them germs everywhere. It has been so hard to have the energy to do anything other than collapse on the sofa, which is extremely hard when you have two little children that have a lot of energy.

Still, you have to get up don't you because no one cares on you know if you have a cold and you feel rubbish. Early mornings are a killer! But at least it's Friday now and the weekend is here, so I can relax a little bit in between doing the washing and homework.

I've also lost my mojo for writing in my blog which happens now and again. Maybe because I've got no energy and you got to force yourself to do it just to keep it going otherwise you lose sight of wanting to succeed for yourself.

Cheers for reading X

Rountine

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

ROUTINE

this is because this week has been a proper full week and it is all about slipping into that routine.

Since the eldest has returned to year one he now gets homework,  making sure that is completed is a new thing to tick of my to-do- list. it is always a fight to motivate my boy to initially start the work but once he cracks on with it he is excellent at it.

My eldest went to his first Scouts group this week and he came home super excited. For the first time ever he roasting a marshmallow on fire. It totally blew his mind and he just loves learning through practical stuff rather than sitting down. So, this is right up his street. 

I am hoping this should be really good for him as he is learning loads of different skills rather than going to football.

Cheers for reading X

Blog therapy

Hey readers,

Some days are really crap, you wonder how you are going to get through them especially when it is only 9:30 in the morning.

I am so teary because I have reduced one set of medication. I know it is only a side effect and will be worth the pain in the long run. But right now it is a struggle especially when I am so needed during the summer holiday.

I am not very good when people demand me for long periods of time.  For me being autistic it is mentally draining and a real battle. I need to switch off and sometimes I just need to escape to my bedroom for some peace for five.

I feel a bit suffocated as well as being in a flat and the weather being rubbish. I just haven't got the motivation to anything when I am so tired.

I feel so guilty for feeling tired when I should be on the ball but sometimes I question My ability to parent such as today. I know this is just short-lived and because I am frustrated, that being said I have to battle with these thoughts.

I feel pulled into two ways to right my personal feelings as one side of me thinks I am being silly. The other side feels it is cathartic and may help someone.

It is amazing how powerful words on and just writing down your thoughts can really help even if there is no solution. It is a bit like therapy and that is one of the reasons why I love to blog. 

As in real life, I am rubbish at expressing myself to others. Words seem to get mangled up and I stutter and shut down. Again this is influenced by my autism.

So, that is why I turn to my blog as a place of comfort and release of emotions. I don't feel judged and it is a place where I can freely write without having to worry about all the other social aspects involved when speaking verbally.

Cheers for reading X

 

School

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

SCHOOL

because it's a return of school for my oldest and he is now in year 1. He has been finding going back to school really hard these past couples of days. This is because of the change in teaching as it is more focused on learning overplay.

 He is not very good with change and he needs things explaining to him. So, as you can imagine he's not very happy. He has been complaining that he hates school, thinks it's stupid and wishes he was back in reception again.

I just hope that with the time that he can ease back into it and establish a routine.  I think this will help him feel happier about going to school.

Today my youngest has returned to nursery for one last year and then he will start school in September.

He, on the other hand, is super excited to be returning. I am looking forward to getting a better routine and quiet time. It has been lovely having them but it's nice to have a break from it all.

Cheers for reading X