Adventure

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

ADVENTURE

Because we have had some fun with having a picnic and watching the Flying Scotsman and the volcano which was lovely to be in the open air. I also had a playdate so had five kids in my home which for me is a very anxious time. 

This is new territory for me as  I was the one who arranged it even though I was very anxious about it because of my autism. But went well and my son loved playing with his friends so it was worth all the anxieties to see his face.

On Tuesday I started a course for a bit of me-time in the evening all about watercolours and drawing l. It is great to try something new for myself and my wellbeing.  I am not sure if I will be any good at it but it is getting me out there challenging myself.

The rest of the time in between I have been flat out with a cold. It so frustrating as my energy is very low. Hopefully, I will shift it soon as such an unconvinced when I am a mum ;)

Cheers for reading X 

Darker

​Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

DARKER

This is because it has slowly been getting that bit by bit darker, which I have been enjoying as it is my favourite time of the year.

I have loved cooler evenings, watching more films, reading more, snuggles under the throws and pillows.

Anyway, I shall also mention my eldest who has started to really enjoy reading his books and learning to write his name. He loves reading his book from school to us and his brother. 

There are as no words in the book and he just loves chatting away in great detail about all the things that are happening in the picture.

 As someone who learnt to read and write at the age of 10, I know how important it is and you could say I am a little more encouraging then to help enjoy it.

 Though to be fair to the boy doesn't really need much encouragement at all as he has such much love for learning that I don't have to worry! 

Cheers for reading X 

Starting School

Hey readers,
My eldest starts a new chapter in his life in September. He starts school and here is when it is a turning point, where I worry about what will happen when social pressure rears it's ugly head.
I have already seen the impact of my sons decisions he has made based on the influence of his nursery friends. Small things but noticeable things. Such as he randomly wanting a England football t-shirt because his friend had one. He wanted it right down to the same number on the back of the top. I am fine with him having choice and pleased that he knows what he wants.  But I also know the power of peer pressure and the need we may have to want to fit in. I worry how it will impact on my son. I would love him to have the confidence to be his own person. I would love him not to be swayed by others but sadly we are reaching that point that you lose a tiny bit of your child and now we now simply have to adjust to the ever changing direction of my son's journey through childhood.
It is scary and I do worry whether my son will get bullied or he will bully others. That being said he might not be either of this, which would be brilliant.
You think you know  your child until you have an opportunity to secretly watch them out of sight and you realise that they are slowly becoming their own person. What you think you know of your child can be totally wrong especially in a different environment such as nursery. I have witnessed some behaviour in my son that I would not see in is home environment.
I just hope me and my husband can teach our son that he can be his own person and that if he does not want to do something that he can say no. I want him to know he can always trust myself and his dad and we are always there  to talk if at all he feels anxious or needs advice.
It is awful to let go of being primary carer and allow other people to come along and be my son's life to influence. I can not now at the tender age of five wrap him in cotton wool all the time though I can give hot chocolate and cuddles when needed. Lets face it one day my son won't be a  child, he will grow into his own person where he will have to stand on his own two feet. All I can do is trust and hope that he turns out not too damaged. regardless of whatever path my son takes he knows that he is loved and accepted for who he is.
I suppose it is not just  a turning point in his life but a new chapter for me as a parent when my son slowly grows further in to independence and I am not needed as much as a guidance but just a warm hand of support.
cheers for reading X

Letter to my son about school and things!

​Dearest son,

Right now you are embarking on your newest adventure primary school. Oh boy were you overjoyed at this prospect and love it to the moon and back.

Well, where do I start all them years ago when I was overjoyed to feel you wriggle and jiggle inside of me? I have never felt more alive when I fell pregnant with you. 

I have seen you grow from a little blob to a happy independent little boy who I am so proud to call my son.

Your such a quizzical boy and you want to soak up everything around you. You love learning and finding out why things work the way they do. So I am sure you are going to be OK during school. 

You have so much lust for life and start every day with a spring in your step. Of course, in some cases you are poor but that is a rarity. You are hard work at times but that is only because you are so excited and have so much processing away up in your brain. 

There are times when I think will you ever stop to just enjoy the moment but maybe that is how you get your kicks by exploring.

Over the last year, you have developed a wicked sense of humour and mischievous laugh which I so enjoy. You make mummy laugh (but I know secretly some of it is down to my making shhhh).

You also have a caring side, especially towards your brother. When anyone cries you worry and do your best to make them happy. 

You love babies and every time you pass one you say hello. I am sure you will make friends as you are a ball of energy and such fun.

It has been over a week and already every single day you can not wait to go back. You can't wait to play and get creative. 

I feel this is a big step where you will evolve intellectually and grow more mature. I'm going to embrace the fact you will have fun and be happy.

The only downside is your speech but you are already getting there and it is a challenge we will face together.

I know at times it is frustrating when you don't feel heard or the difficulty of expressing yourself to others.  Never forget though that you will ALWAYS  have the support of mummy and daddy. 

Finally, I just want to say how proud we both are of you. We have watched you, in the beginning, staring at lights all day in the first few months of your life to watching far top many ' how to ' videos on YouTube. 

I love you as your own person and even though it is frustrating when you are so you stubborn it is merely I sign of how determined and motivated you are. I know that you will achieve because you have the drive.

Regardless of what path you take in life, always know that mummy and daddy love you dearly.

Love always Mummy X

Routine

Hey Readers,

My word of the week is:

This is because my son on Monday started full days at nursery. I have learnt to adapt this week to the changes of times when collecting and dropping off my boy. 

I also have to get the other child in my life goes to nursery

.

As my son eats a main meal at school I have also had to change the meal times which is a bit frustrating when you have to adapt.

 Especially when going out shopping then trying to rush an about in the kitchen like a crazy woman.

In other news my youngest this week he seems to be having the most awful tantrums that can last for like 10-15 mins. It is unusual as he normally doesn't last three minutes usually. Oh boy, do they hurt your ears as they are frequent causing me to be so tired having to deal with the drama? 

When we picked up my eldest he decided to have a fit because I would not get him an ice-cream from the shop. 

So all the way back from the school to the home he whaled and screeched. I hope this is a short period and hope it is linked just from tiredness at the return of going to nursery.

Hope you enjoyed your week.

Cheers for reading X

Brrrr

Hey Readers,

My word of the week is:

because oh my word it is bloody freezing at night and I am terribly British and love to moan about all things weather-related, why the hell not. Though, I am still refusing to turn the heating on until November, unless it is awful then I may be weakened to do it. I am so tight...haha!

But I have enjoyed fluffy socks, cosy pjs and dressing gowns. Cuddling under the throws and not really wanting to leave the home because it is so horribly cold with that eastly wind. I do quite like the feeling of being safe inside whilst looking out of the window at the grey clouds hovering around aimlessly.

I have also enjoyed recently buying a few bits and bobs for Halloween, it is so fun and the boys have loved wearing their Halloween dressing up outfits. My eldest has decided he is called 'Bone Man' as he wears his Halloween outfit with all the bones every night.

 It also glows in the dark so we have had fun running around crazy but at least it has kept them entertained for a little while.

Cheers for reading X

Ftmob - September

Hey readers,
It us that time to record them special moments with your little ones.
Both my boys were playing lovely together on mummy and daddy's bed. U was in the next room and I overheard this conversation. DS1 says to DS2, "you be mummy I be daddy"  you then can hear movement. DS1 announces, "Mummy it's ten o'clock time to get up". I wish I could lay in till ten haha!
After watching Power Rangers DS1 declares to me that, "Mummy if I take your backbone out you will go all wobble like they did in the power rangers".what a lovely thought 💭
DS1 when shocked or surprised he says ever so sweetly, "oh my goodness".
We went to our local museum recently where they were showing an exhibition all about Lego. My DS1 commented, "were at Lego Land". I thought this was cute. i don't mind because it is free and feel guilty because he keeps seeing the ads on TV for Lego Land and he so desperately wants to go. But sadly we can't afford it but coming here today he was overjoyed and contended.
When my DS1 is thinking or sees something slightly different he comments by saying, hang on a minute".
Thanks for reading X

compassion

I am here,

With my listening ear,

I know how it feels

The hurt and upset,

I understand,

I want to help,

Even if it is to just listen.

Walking

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

WALKING

This is because the sun has been shining and the boys have mainly requesting to visit the park. I took advance now as we all know that rain will eventually greet us!

I have been forcing myself out when sometimes like to hide away because you know people are scary ;)! 

I digress I have been upping up my walking and pushing myself that little more. We went out as a family for a walk for two-three hours and it has been fun. Where we live locally there is a Plantasia and a maze world. 

There is a cute little farm and we even got to see the little baby chicken which was super cute!

In other news, I don't whether it is a phase or not but my eldest has really been pushing my buttons the past two weeks. he has proper got an attitude and speaking back. 

I struggle to keep calm and not get wound up. So I had a couple of times take myself away as I am learning to with new challenge. Parenting never-ending challenges that we have to deal 

with and adapt, joy!

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Preparation

Hey readers,

Well my word of the week is:

This is because we have been slowly buying the items of the LONG list of stuff to get my boy for school for  September. 

He got his plimsolls which are needed for P.E. this week and he was super excited when trying them on that I don't think he wanted to take them off. Brings backs so many memories of me wearing the ghastly things at school way back when...

We are umming and arring when to get his school shoes from Clarke's. I know they cost more but we think it is important to get comfy and well-fitted shoes especially being in school for such a long period of time. 

But we don't want to get them too early in case he grows out of them!

We also checked out a new park locally to us this week. It is not a massive park but it is a new one that we have not explored before. I think it is a lovely place, especially as there is a big green space to have picnics.

I must try harder in looking at venturing out and seeing more of what my city has to offer. My son really enjoyed it when we went as I was brave in letting him take his scooter. 

Especially on the bus, as for me makes me feel a bit anxious with space etc. However, it went well so that was all good and it gives me a boost in my self-esteem.

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Pokemon

Hey readers,

my word of the week is:

POKEMON

This is because the game has dominated my life at the moment,  ok I enjoy it but my eldest loves it too and it is a great way to bond together too.  

Plus it is such a great way of getting outside and not spending a fortune. 

Now I have learnt about Pokemon stops. I know I am a bit slow but since I have mastered the main idea it is a lot more fun to go out and hunt pokeballs with the boy. 

There is lovely feeling about escaping into virtual relativity, especially as now I am a parent I spend most my time adulting. Therefore, it is great to have time to switch off. It is fun to recreate that excitement I got when I played Sonic as a child on the mega drive!

A highlight of the week is going to visit Burton Dassett Country Park which has stunning views on top of hills looking over Warwickshire and Oxfordshire. It is lovely to be out in the fresh air and just take in the scenery in. Plus it fantastic spot to do a bit of kiting, check the pictures out below.

Cheers for reading X

Burnout

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

it must be the end term thing where I feel absolutely exhausted and overwhelmed. My list of things to do seems to be getting longer and longer. My motivation, on the other hand, seems to have vanished.

 I have a crippling headache (which I am frequent suffer off, it runs in my family) making it even harder to focus on stuff. I also have had the youngest be poorly with vomiting and struggling to cope with any energy. 

So been doing a lot of washing that is constantly needing doing. It just the all the little bits adding up and creating such a big mountain to climb up at the moment.

On a more positive note, I signed my eldest son up to some free swimming lessons for one week only (he normally has swimming lessons once a week anyway). 

He loves it and it is lovely to watch how confident he is getting at swimming. It is funny though as it is in the same pool that I used to swim when I was pregnant with him. 

So that has been the highlight of my week to see him grow.

Hopefully next week I won't sound such a miserable cow, but this is my blog and this is where I will vent. God, I love blogging it is such a great therapy tool.

Hope you have a lovely week,

cheers for reading X

Summer holidays

Hey readers,

My word of the week is

 SUMMER HOLIDAYS

Well, it's finally here, summer hols! Both my boys broke up from nursery on Tuesday albeit the youngest didn't go in this week as he was poorly. Over the weekend the youngest had a temperature over 41.5 and he kept getting really cold and hot. He was very wingy and tired due to this bug he caught.

Saturday we did go out but he was so bad that I had to come home and get him comfy on the sofa with his quilt whilst watching a marathon of Octonauts. He was motionless on the sofa which is very, very unusual for my DS2. If you ever met him he would be really bouncy and have bucketfuls of energy. Clearly needed the rest on Saturday afternoon.

 He then started developing a rash with red spots. So, we did take him to the out of hours doctors in the evening as we rang up for advice and got told to bring him down to the clinic. The dr said it was some sort of virus and advised us to give him paracetamol and ibuprofen to help with his temperature. Strangely it went down but then on Sunday evening, his temperature spiked again into the forties.

We decided Monday morning to not take him into the nursery as his rash was so bad all over his face, legs and chest. 

We got an appointment with the dr that morning. They confirmed that it was a virus and gave him a prescription for some antibiotics. I am pleased to inform you on Wednesday evening the rash has reduced and so has his temperature. Just in time for the holidays ;)

In other news, boy is it hot. I feel slightly dread of lack of child-free time to get stuff during the summer. I think it is more the anxiety of change. Give it a week I will get into the swing of things. I can't complain having lie-ins and not getting flustered trying to get two children for nursery.

Thanks for reading X

anniversary

​Hey readers,
Well my word of the week is:
Anniversary
This is because at the weekend marked my fifth wedding anniversary of five years. Eek, this might seem a small milestone to a lot of you but for me as an autistic, the odds against the likelihood of me ever getting married. Followed by the statics against getting divorced is high if you are an autistic person. To be honest with you I never imagined getting married or having children and that was reinforced by the "specialists". Which is now know to be utter bollocks! So yeah quite proud even though it has not been plain slaying as I am not the easiest person to live with, we are still going strong as a unit. So today I feel happy about how far I  have come. So Cheers 🍻
To celebrate our anniversary we watched Grimsby and I can confirm it is bloody hilarious if you have immature humour. You will not be disappointed. Nothing beats a good laugh and we don't get to often sit together and watch an adult movie. So it was nice to enjoy it together as a couple.
Hope you have had a great week.
Cheers for reading X

ftmob July

1) DS1 loves Danger Mouse on CBBC and said to me, "mummy, I want to got to London to see Danger Mouse. You will find him as he is a mouse that has two legs and he is around danger". That is pretty much spot on.
2) My youngest was sick with a tummy bug and used his sick bucket (clean I like to add) as a game to pour sick over mummy because that is the funniest thing ever to a two year old. He pretend to pick it up and come to me and throw it over the top and announce, "sick" laughing his little head off along with his brother. Kids don't half love the disgusting things especially when mummy over reacts making it even more funny.
3) I was out with the youngest and the eldest was with daddy at home. He was going to go out with daddy to the shops. He was talking to daddy about, daddy said to him, "we need to put the water pistols away as you brother may get hold of them and squirt water on the tv. We don't want him to squirt water as it is dangerous" In response, my son replied, "Daddy I am worried as I don't want him to die as I love him". Which is so melting. We try to teach him that playing with water near electrical is really dangerous  so he is very aware of this now!
4) While my eldest was playing with my hair, I said to him, "Do you want to shave all my hair off?". He replied, "No mummy, I want to make you a princess and style your hair like Elsa". Secretly I would prefer my hair shaved off over being a princess but whatever makes you happy son.
5) Whilst we were having a picnic outside this week my ds2 said to me whilst shuffling a chop into his mouth,  "mummmm, yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm".
Cheers for reading X

FTMOB - 11/07/2016

Hey readers,

Hope you are well and enjoying the last week of academic term. Here I have gathered some chat from the boys, check it out.

1. My eldest had some few pennies when he went shopping with me yesterday and the plan was to put them in the piggy bank. He asked, "mummy, I need a bank card like you and daddy so I can put my money in the bank". Haha, this made me chuckle as he knows sometimes daddy puts money in his bank so is aware about the system with the card.
2. After explaining to my eldest the fact the card is only allowed for 16s and over,  he replied, "ok, I will keep the money and go to the shop tomorrow and buy a new toy tomorrow. Such a  cheeky monkey ;)
3. My youngest loves cake and screams, #lenon tart mummy". I just think it is so cute how young ones can muddle up there words.
4. A conversation I had with my eldest earlier went like this. "mummy, why is my willy above my testicles and why is my willy not on my head?" Oh yes the joys of getting my son ready for nursery whilst debating the deep questions of the day, lol!
5. The other day I asked my son as he stood there like a statue pulling a rather strange expression on his face. "What are you doing?". His response goes, "I am getting a smelly toot out". Why how lovely are you my little darling ;)

Cheers for reading X

School

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

This is because my eldest child went for a taster session at his new school that he will start in September. He is beyond excited and can not wait. He is desperate for me to buy the school uniform unlike me who is not so excited to leave a massive hole in my pocket😞.

I don't know if am normal or not but I am not sad about this transaction. It is part of the process nor am I upset that he is not a baby. But I am pleased that he is turning into such a lovely little boy. I am happy as he is and I accept the situation.

 I read a lot about parents getting upset about this big change. I do worry that I am not emotionally attached. But then again I never get upset about the past I just take it in the chin. Maybe because I get more neurotic about things in the future that have not happened. It is just the way I am. God parenting is so tough and constantly doubting yourself.

Still, he is a super excited and can't wait to start big school in September.

Cheers for reading X

FTMOB 23/05/2016

Hey readers,
My eldest is proper getting into conversations which has blown me over with laughter recently.
1) We were walking in town recently and walked past a pub where to women were lightening up a cigarette. My DS1 says, ' that women is smoking, she is going to die". Omg don't know whether to laugh or die. He is currently still fixated on death put particularly has an interest in why people smoke even if it kills them. He also now every time he sees a no smoking sign tells me. He then wants to go in great detail aboutit.
2) DS2 is non stop churning words out from his vast vocabulary. Loves sheep, rabbit (his cuddly toy), Alan (his dad) and the list goes on.
3) DS1 wants to talk a lot about Lady Godiva as we have the big statue in town. "why is she died mummy,where is she". My response, "people don't live six hundred odd years and if they did someone would be very rich indeed!".
4) My eldest the other morning said to me, "I want a bicycle, skateboard, cake, remote controlled car and football figures (the ones from Lidl you get free if you spend X amount). Which I can guarantee he has seen all from adverts of the telly. Including the cake seen on Ceebeeies during the birthday announcements.
5) in the lift with a stranger stuck all the way up ten flights my DS1 loudly announces," Mummy that man smells". Cue the embarrassment and I have nowhere to hide!
Cheers for reading X

Pennies

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

PENNIES

This is because I have been spending so much money on shite. I want to cut back and monitor the money I spend.

The things that I have tried to adopt this week is to make meals at home on Sunday as before I would do the quick and easy and buy the meal deal from Sainsbury's after swimming because it was easy and I am lazy! I save £6 just by making that change.

Secondly, I  have downloaded two apps  Shopizze and topcashback, brilliant websites to help save money. I have already saved £5 so far this week!

Thirdly I have got a designated notepad just to write down all my outgoings. So over the next couple of weeks, I can see my pitfalls and areas where can adopt new changes.

Hopefully, this will help me feel a bit better around my finances because I seem to be panicking a lot which then entails random impulses because I have given up and felt defeated! We shall see but feeling much more positive about the situation.

Thanks for reading X 

Hard

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

HARD

This is because I have found it hard with my son obsessing with questions about death. This triggers a lot of anxiety for me. My OCD has been learning its ugly head. It is not surprising as it likes to prey on me when I am venerable and scared.

Still, I have learnt to pay attention to other things in my life that has helped distract me.

I love my photography and getting creative. I didn't realise how much I love texture and shapes. But I can get totally get lost in it when I am free and not got a child hanging off me ;)

This week I have found the love of getting lost in books. Recently I have been trying out the different book but one thing or another I just couldn't get into them. I just find the writing styles so boring or the topic unappealing. 

Finally, I cracked it and just on my second book. It is one of the best things when you can get lost in the book and can't wait to get to bed in the evening and read.

I have completed all the Father's day stuff out For Sunday. It is also my mum's birthday and hubby's in the next seven days. Grrrrr, I really should have planned better but at least it is all sorted now.

One last note what the fuck is the whether about, oh my days. But it was lovely last Sunday to watch the thunderstorms. The boys loved watching the sky light up with the lightening.

Cheers for reading X