compassion

I am here,

With my listening ear,

I know how it feels

The hurt and upset,

I understand,

I want to help,

Even if it is to just listen.

Walking

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

WALKING

This is because the sun has been shining and the boys have mainly requesting to visit the park. I took advance now as we all know that rain will eventually greet us!

I have been forcing myself out when sometimes like to hide away because you know people are scary ;)! 

I digress I have been upping up my walking and pushing myself that little more. We went out as a family for a walk for two-three hours and it has been fun. Where we live locally there is a Plantasia and a maze world. 

There is a cute little farm and we even got to see the little baby chicken which was super cute!

In other news, I don't whether it is a phase or not but my eldest has really been pushing my buttons the past two weeks. he has proper got an attitude and speaking back. 

I struggle to keep calm and not get wound up. So I had a couple of times take myself away as I am learning to with new challenge. Parenting never-ending challenges that we have to deal 

with and adapt, joy!

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Preparation

Hey readers,

Well my word of the week is:

This is because we have been slowly buying the items of the LONG list of stuff to get my boy for school for  September. 

He got his plimsolls which are needed for P.E. this week and he was super excited when trying them on that I don't think he wanted to take them off. Brings backs so many memories of me wearing the ghastly things at school way back when...

We are umming and arring when to get his school shoes from Clarke's. I know they cost more but we think it is important to get comfy and well-fitted shoes especially being in school for such a long period of time. 

But we don't want to get them too early in case he grows out of them!

We also checked out a new park locally to us this week. It is not a massive park but it is a new one that we have not explored before. I think it is a lovely place, especially as there is a big green space to have picnics.

I must try harder in looking at venturing out and seeing more of what my city has to offer. My son really enjoyed it when we went as I was brave in letting him take his scooter. 

Especially on the bus, as for me makes me feel a bit anxious with space etc. However, it went well so that was all good and it gives me a boost in my self-esteem.

Hope you had a good week.

Cheers for reading X

Pokemon

Hey readers,

my word of the week is:

POKEMON

This is because the game has dominated my life at the moment,  ok I enjoy it but my eldest loves it too and it is a great way to bond together too.  

Plus it is such a great way of getting outside and not spending a fortune. 

Now I have learnt about Pokemon stops. I know I am a bit slow but since I have mastered the main idea it is a lot more fun to go out and hunt pokeballs with the boy. 

There is lovely feeling about escaping into virtual relativity, especially as now I am a parent I spend most my time adulting. Therefore, it is great to have time to switch off. It is fun to recreate that excitement I got when I played Sonic as a child on the mega drive!

A highlight of the week is going to visit Burton Dassett Country Park which has stunning views on top of hills looking over Warwickshire and Oxfordshire. It is lovely to be out in the fresh air and just take in the scenery in. Plus it fantastic spot to do a bit of kiting, check the pictures out below.

Cheers for reading X

Burnout

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

it must be the end term thing where I feel absolutely exhausted and overwhelmed. My list of things to do seems to be getting longer and longer. My motivation, on the other hand, seems to have vanished.

 I have a crippling headache (which I am frequent suffer off, it runs in my family) making it even harder to focus on stuff. I also have had the youngest be poorly with vomiting and struggling to cope with any energy. 

So been doing a lot of washing that is constantly needing doing. It just the all the little bits adding up and creating such a big mountain to climb up at the moment.

On a more positive note, I signed my eldest son up to some free swimming lessons for one week only (he normally has swimming lessons once a week anyway). 

He loves it and it is lovely to watch how confident he is getting at swimming. It is funny though as it is in the same pool that I used to swim when I was pregnant with him. 

So that has been the highlight of my week to see him grow.

Hopefully next week I won't sound such a miserable cow, but this is my blog and this is where I will vent. God, I love blogging it is such a great therapy tool.

Hope you have a lovely week,

cheers for reading X

Summer holidays

Hey readers,

My word of the week is

 SUMMER HOLIDAYS

Well, it's finally here, summer hols! Both my boys broke up from nursery on Tuesday albeit the youngest didn't go in this week as he was poorly. Over the weekend the youngest had a temperature over 41.5 and he kept getting really cold and hot. He was very wingy and tired due to this bug he caught.

Saturday we did go out but he was so bad that I had to come home and get him comfy on the sofa with his quilt whilst watching a marathon of Octonauts. He was motionless on the sofa which is very, very unusual for my DS2. If you ever met him he would be really bouncy and have bucketfuls of energy. Clearly needed the rest on Saturday afternoon.

 He then started developing a rash with red spots. So, we did take him to the out of hours doctors in the evening as we rang up for advice and got told to bring him down to the clinic. The dr said it was some sort of virus and advised us to give him paracetamol and ibuprofen to help with his temperature. Strangely it went down but then on Sunday evening, his temperature spiked again into the forties.

We decided Monday morning to not take him into the nursery as his rash was so bad all over his face, legs and chest. 

We got an appointment with the dr that morning. They confirmed that it was a virus and gave him a prescription for some antibiotics. I am pleased to inform you on Wednesday evening the rash has reduced and so has his temperature. Just in time for the holidays ;)

In other news, boy is it hot. I feel slightly dread of lack of child-free time to get stuff during the summer. I think it is more the anxiety of change. Give it a week I will get into the swing of things. I can't complain having lie-ins and not getting flustered trying to get two children for nursery.

Thanks for reading X

anniversary

​Hey readers,
Well my word of the week is:
Anniversary
This is because at the weekend marked my fifth wedding anniversary of five years. Eek, this might seem a small milestone to a lot of you but for me as an autistic, the odds against the likelihood of me ever getting married. Followed by the statics against getting divorced is high if you are an autistic person. To be honest with you I never imagined getting married or having children and that was reinforced by the "specialists". Which is now know to be utter bollocks! So yeah quite proud even though it has not been plain slaying as I am not the easiest person to live with, we are still going strong as a unit. So today I feel happy about how far I  have come. So Cheers 🍻
To celebrate our anniversary we watched Grimsby and I can confirm it is bloody hilarious if you have immature humour. You will not be disappointed. Nothing beats a good laugh and we don't get to often sit together and watch an adult movie. So it was nice to enjoy it together as a couple.
Hope you have had a great week.
Cheers for reading X

ftmob July

1) DS1 loves Danger Mouse on CBBC and said to me, "mummy, I want to got to London to see Danger Mouse. You will find him as he is a mouse that has two legs and he is around danger". That is pretty much spot on.
2) My youngest was sick with a tummy bug and used his sick bucket (clean I like to add) as a game to pour sick over mummy because that is the funniest thing ever to a two year old. He pretend to pick it up and come to me and throw it over the top and announce, "sick" laughing his little head off along with his brother. Kids don't half love the disgusting things especially when mummy over reacts making it even more funny.
3) I was out with the youngest and the eldest was with daddy at home. He was going to go out with daddy to the shops. He was talking to daddy about, daddy said to him, "we need to put the water pistols away as you brother may get hold of them and squirt water on the tv. We don't want him to squirt water as it is dangerous" In response, my son replied, "Daddy I am worried as I don't want him to die as I love him". Which is so melting. We try to teach him that playing with water near electrical is really dangerous  so he is very aware of this now!
4) While my eldest was playing with my hair, I said to him, "Do you want to shave all my hair off?". He replied, "No mummy, I want to make you a princess and style your hair like Elsa". Secretly I would prefer my hair shaved off over being a princess but whatever makes you happy son.
5) Whilst we were having a picnic outside this week my ds2 said to me whilst shuffling a chop into his mouth,  "mummmm, yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm".
Cheers for reading X

FTMOB - 11/07/2016

Hey readers,

Hope you are well and enjoying the last week of academic term. Here I have gathered some chat from the boys, check it out.

1. My eldest had some few pennies when he went shopping with me yesterday and the plan was to put them in the piggy bank. He asked, "mummy, I need a bank card like you and daddy so I can put my money in the bank". Haha, this made me chuckle as he knows sometimes daddy puts money in his bank so is aware about the system with the card.
2. After explaining to my eldest the fact the card is only allowed for 16s and over,  he replied, "ok, I will keep the money and go to the shop tomorrow and buy a new toy tomorrow. Such a  cheeky monkey ;)
3. My youngest loves cake and screams, #lenon tart mummy". I just think it is so cute how young ones can muddle up there words.
4. A conversation I had with my eldest earlier went like this. "mummy, why is my willy above my testicles and why is my willy not on my head?" Oh yes the joys of getting my son ready for nursery whilst debating the deep questions of the day, lol!
5. The other day I asked my son as he stood there like a statue pulling a rather strange expression on his face. "What are you doing?". His response goes, "I am getting a smelly toot out". Why how lovely are you my little darling ;)

Cheers for reading X

School

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

This is because my eldest child went for a taster session at his new school that he will start in September. He is beyond excited and can not wait. He is desperate for me to buy the school uniform unlike me who is not so excited to leave a massive hole in my pocket😞.

I don't know if am normal or not but I am not sad about this transaction. It is part of the process nor am I upset that he is not a baby. But I am pleased that he is turning into such a lovely little boy. I am happy as he is and I accept the situation.

 I read a lot about parents getting upset about this big change. I do worry that I am not emotionally attached. But then again I never get upset about the past I just take it in the chin. Maybe because I get more neurotic about things in the future that have not happened. It is just the way I am. God parenting is so tough and constantly doubting yourself.

Still, he is a super excited and can't wait to start big school in September.

Cheers for reading X

FTMOB 23/05/2016

Hey readers,
My eldest is proper getting into conversations which has blown me over with laughter recently.
1) We were walking in town recently and walked past a pub where to women were lightening up a cigarette. My DS1 says, ' that women is smoking, she is going to die". Omg don't know whether to laugh or die. He is currently still fixated on death put particularly has an interest in why people smoke even if it kills them. He also now every time he sees a no smoking sign tells me. He then wants to go in great detail aboutit.
2) DS2 is non stop churning words out from his vast vocabulary. Loves sheep, rabbit (his cuddly toy), Alan (his dad) and the list goes on.
3) DS1 wants to talk a lot about Lady Godiva as we have the big statue in town. "why is she died mummy,where is she". My response, "people don't live six hundred odd years and if they did someone would be very rich indeed!".
4) My eldest the other morning said to me, "I want a bicycle, skateboard, cake, remote controlled car and football figures (the ones from Lidl you get free if you spend X amount). Which I can guarantee he has seen all from adverts of the telly. Including the cake seen on Ceebeeies during the birthday announcements.
5) in the lift with a stranger stuck all the way up ten flights my DS1 loudly announces," Mummy that man smells". Cue the embarrassment and I have nowhere to hide!
Cheers for reading X

Pennies

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

PENNIES

This is because I have been spending so much money on shite. I want to cut back and monitor the money I spend.

The things that I have tried to adopt this week is to make meals at home on Sunday as before I would do the quick and easy and buy the meal deal from Sainsbury's after swimming because it was easy and I am lazy! I save £6 just by making that change.

Secondly, I  have downloaded two apps  Shopizze and topcashback, brilliant websites to help save money. I have already saved £5 so far this week!

Thirdly I have got a designated notepad just to write down all my outgoings. So over the next couple of weeks, I can see my pitfalls and areas where can adopt new changes.

Hopefully, this will help me feel a bit better around my finances because I seem to be panicking a lot which then entails random impulses because I have given up and felt defeated! We shall see but feeling much more positive about the situation.

Thanks for reading X 

Hard

Hey readers,

My word of the week is:

HARD

This is because I have found it hard with my son obsessing with questions about death. This triggers a lot of anxiety for me. My OCD has been learning its ugly head. It is not surprising as it likes to prey on me when I am venerable and scared.

Still, I have learnt to pay attention to other things in my life that has helped distract me.

I love my photography and getting creative. I didn't realise how much I love texture and shapes. But I can get totally get lost in it when I am free and not got a child hanging off me ;)

This week I have found the love of getting lost in books. Recently I have been trying out the different book but one thing or another I just couldn't get into them. I just find the writing styles so boring or the topic unappealing. 

Finally, I cracked it and just on my second book. It is one of the best things when you can get lost in the book and can't wait to get to bed in the evening and read.

I have completed all the Father's day stuff out For Sunday. It is also my mum's birthday and hubby's in the next seven days. Grrrrr, I really should have planned better but at least it is all sorted now.

One last note what the fuck is the whether about, oh my days. But it was lovely last Sunday to watch the thunderstorms. The boys loved watching the sky light up with the lightening.

Cheers for reading X

hot

Hey readers,
my word of the week is:
hot
As lovely as the sunshine is I am not the best for hot humid. I like it warm but with a breeze. I have also had a horrid cough and flu causing me to have a fever. It has been hell at night. One minute I am absolutely freezing then I am roasting. Still at least it is better conditions to diet with, haha. I have been loving drinking more and eating fresh salad. However, I know now at the later end of the week it is wet but still hot. I have enjoyed watching the thunderstorms. We are on 16th floor so have spectacular viewing of the sky.
On Thursday I went to my eldest sons first parenting meeting at his school that he will be starting September. We were told what the main routine is and the different forms etc. Also my son was super excited about having a uniform and a water bottle which to him is incredible. He is now super excited to start school.

cheers for reading X

Warmth

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:

Am I the only one who struggles picking a word, so I just pick one that instantly pops into my head. So hence why warmth as currently the sun is shinning and it is a lovely temperature. We have enjoyed a good few days of sunshine which really lifts your mood. Not to mention the speed it takes to reduce the washing load. I know yawn but I can't help it I am a mum and it is socially acceptable now to talk about suck exciting stuff, 😂.
We have had a blast the other day with the boys and playing in the local foundations in our city. It was lovely to just sit back and watch my boys play so nicely and lovely. Their bond seems to be getting stronger and stronger each day.

Cheers for reading X

quality

Hey readers,
My word of the week is:
quality
This is because my eldest has been off with a bug for a couple days. Therefore I have spend a lot of quality time with him.
Yesterday me and my DS1 went out on a mum and son date to do something fun. Well I know my eldest is desperate to fly a kit so got a mini one for now as the big ones freak me out a bit. I have never done a kite before but thought fot to start someone. So, to see how my son gets on and to help me learn we went to a fairly breezy area a bus trip away. I can confirm it so much fun and both of us had success with flying the kite. I absolutely loved it and so did my son. Surprisingly so relaxing and a fun outdoor activity to do. Not to mention how fit you get. Below is a picture of my son flying the kite 😁
Cheers for reading X

Quiet

It's silent,

Peaceful,

No one makes a peek,

The clock carries on,

Tick tock.

Go with the wind

Sometimes you have to go with the wind,

to learn a lesson,

to grow

and move forward.

Cold

Hey readers,
My word of the week is

Cold

This weather qt the begining of the week has been poo. I am so cold and feel it on my bones. I have even had to put on the heating a couple of times this week. It doesn't feel like May. Though I won't feel defeated as I did plan a family walk in our local woodlands. I love trees to an obsessional level and I find being round so calming. Maybe because I have found memories of a child if getting lost in the beautiful settings. I want my boys to have similar memories. I want them to feel free and run around. I love it and they love it. I can't believe that this woodlands is situated in university of Warwick. It is absolutely stunning and easy to get to.
On to a different matter we have finally got a table for the first time ever! It makes a huge difference and feel that it is important to have meals with the family socially at the table. Plus it is so much easier to play board games and what not.
Cheers for reading X

FTMOB 02/05/2016

Hey readers,
Happy bank holiday Monday.
Well let's get started with my boys conversations I have had recently.
1) My eldest son is loving informing me that, "girls grow into women.  boys grow up to be men".
2) My DS1 was helping me with self service checkout. He put the money into the machine to pay for the goods. I said to him he can keep the change but what did he want to do with it. He said, " I have 51p I want to put in my piggy bank and go to American to see minions". He is Minions obsessed and now knows from watching the film that minion live in America, haha.
3) My DS1 is currently fixated and asked constantly on body types, "Mummy why don't girls have wellies". Yep it has already started.
4) My DS2 is obsessed with wet wipes and constantly says, "wet wipes please mummy".
5) My DS1 at swimming asked, "why do people where swimming clothes?" We currently teaching him now about privacy etc.
6) My DS1 still on the topic of bodies asked, "why don't men produce milk and have just nibbles. Why do women have boobies".
Cheers for reading X